ITT: tell your 6 year old self things he/she wouldn't believe
>you'll be able to play Pokemon on your mobile phone
>you'll be able to play games without a controller
>it's gonna be terrible though
>games won't have cheats in them
>Mortal Kombat won't be the most popular fighting game
>there will be a Final Fantasy with Donald Duck in it
>Nintendo is still going to be around
>your favorite game will be released in 2 years, but you won't discover it for quite a while
>handheld games will look better than current PC games
>there will be a game where Mario and Sonic fight each other and it'll be great
>there will be a game where Mario and Sonic race each other and it'll be crap
Video games will get worse after Metroid Prime and Resident Evil 4. Literally nothing after them is worth caring about at all in the slightest.
Super Smash Bros is a great game that slowly gets ruined with each installment.
The Sega Genesis has 2 good video games, the rest is trash. Don't touch the system until your older cousin gives you his genesis.
Don't get Mission Impossible on NES, it's trash.
>>247847324
>Video games will get worse after Metroid Prime and Resident Evil 4. Literally nothing after them is worth caring about at all in the slightest.
If you honestly believe that why are you here? In your eyes videogames died when 4chan wasn't even 2 years old.
Or are you just spreading vitriol and hyperbole because it's parts of "/v/ culture"
>Start learning Japanese or you won't be able to play most of the only good videogames in the future.
>>247847980
Boredom.
>>247846713
>A lot of those Ceratopsians you've memorized?
>They're the same species at different ages.
>Sauropods actually laid lots of eggs at once and abandoned them.
>Birds are dinosaurs.
>Your parents will never buy you a Nintendo.
>There aren't any good scientifically accurate dinosaur games.
>>247848190
>telling your old self to be weebtrash
You'll be masturbating tohorsecocks
>>247847980
>If you honestly believe that why are you here?
/v/ hates 99 percent of modern videogames. People like me and OP just also hate the remaining 1 percent. What's the problem?
>>247846713
There's a skelly poking its head out of the bottom one... r-right?
You're gonna fuck your mom and then watch your Dad commit suicide
Megaman, Sonic and Pacman will be in Smash Bros.
>In the future, the entire SNES and Genesis catalogs will fit on a piece of media that's literally millimeters in size.
>There will be a 3D GTA
>SEGA will become the laughing stock of the industry
>>247846713
>there'll be mobile phones
>pc's can play video games
>>247848407
OP here why the fuck would I hate video games?
>>247848190
>weeaboo
>start drinking now, it'll make the transition into alcoholism much easier
>start playing UO seriously, you'll miss it
>>247846713
>handheld games will look better than current PC games
bait thread?
>>247846713
video games will be close to death by 2014, enjoy them while you can
>>247848709
>>247848301
There was literally one good western game announced at this year's E3.
Sorry you guys are casuals.
>>247848407
Wouldn't you be happier on /vr/? I just don't know why someone would dedicate large amounts of time towards something they hate. That seems to be the symptoms of mental illness.
Stay away from 4chan, specifically /v/
>>247846713
>ITT: tell your 6 year old self things he/she wouldn't believe
>Nintendo is still going to be around
What are you, 12?
>You will experience the death of video games first hand. You will watch in tears as the SJWs and israelis will break down everything you loved about video games and destroy every single good thing the industry had left. Stop playing video games now, and you will avoid this terrible fate.
>take a shower more during the 6 years you play Diablo 2, please just do it, if you dont it will literally ruin your life
>>247848983
My bad, thought we were supposed to give advice, skimmed the OP. My point still stands, though.
>>247848460
Are you me?
>>247846713
You will hate the very fanbase of your first console.
Playstation faggots are the worst
You will in turn, learn to like the fanbase that you never cared for and thought will be gone in a few years time, which is Nintendo
Everything you know and love about video games is going to die 19 years. Every franchise you loved will either be dead, or new developers will shit all over their legacy.
>>247848514
Otacon!
>>247848817
Think he means current mobile games look better than games released when OP was 6.
>>247848985
What are you even saying? You realize Nintendo is doomed started out in the 90s right?
>>247846713
In about 20 years from now everyone will have a phone that they carry around in their pocket much smaller than your gameboy pocket. It's going to have screen quality and computing power better than anything you can imagine right now. It's always connected to the internet making interaction with your friends possible no matter where you are in the world. There will exist a website known as wikipedia that has just about every piece of information you could ever want to know. Knowledge on any topic will be just a few clicks away. Video games will be controllable with motion inputs instead of just buttons, VR headsets will be a real thing and graphics will be greater than any in game cutscene you've ever seen.
But with all of this. People will still be stupid and fat, less connected to others and video games will be worse than ever before partially because of your nostalgia.
Invest in google and bitcoins. Also kiss that bitch. Kooties aren't real.
You will turn into a bitter neckbeard who refuses to play modern game.
Also, don't stop exercising, please.
>>247848978
>Remember, you're here forever.
>>247848298
>>There aren't any good scientifically accurate dinosaur games.
your penis will be 8 1/2 inches
>Enjoy video games until around 2007, then they will die.
>>247849003
>"Adult anon, what are all those meaningless buzzwords you keep spouting? I hope I don't grow up getting all my opinions of how the world works from an anime imageboard."
Don't worry about Dad too much you'll meet him on June 2nd 2014. Most of all just keep doing what you're doing, you're alright. PPS Videogames are still fun in the future
>>247846713
>Don't pick up Mega Man Legends or any off its sequels or spin offs.
>Yes yes I know it looks awesome and fun, it is...
>Just.. just don't...
>It just hurts too much.
>>247849372
You all seem to have transposed Nintendo with Sega.
>>247848817
Are you stupid or what? He refers to the computers that were around when he was six you fucking moron
>>247849629What was it like, anon?
>>247849629
>Don't worry about Dad too much you'll meet him on June 2nd 2014
fucking hell anon
>Don't ever trade in any of your games, no matter how shit they are. You'll never know whether or not you'll miss one of them
>You know how much you love your Power Mac? All modern Apple computers are shit, don't be fooled all PC gaming is Windows-based
>Halo 3, 4, and Reach aren't worth it, ask for a PS3 instead of a 360 even if you'll miss out on ODST
>Git gud, faget
>>247848962
And literally zero good Jap games. Whats your point?
Rare is going to be shit
Your friends with the PlayStation is going to be a vile subhuman
Pokemon is only going to get shit
You will love a video game called Gunstar Heroes, and in turn cherish the company that makes it, but then this same company that could have gone down in history as one of the genuinely great companies ruins Gunstar Heroes with a sequel called Gunstar Super Heroes.
This game will lead you to believe that this company is legitimately insane and has lost all common sense, and you will spend days wondering how badly they missed the point of why the first game is 100% amazing.
You will fall in love with a game called Killer Instinct. You will love it for many years. It will get a sequel and you will love that one as well. Then it's name will disappear for many years until it is brought back. On a system you have no intention of ever owning. And your urge to kill the entire human race will rise exponentially on that day.
>>247849963
Bloodbourne might be okay, but otherwise good jap companies don't announce games at E3.
>there's gonna be a Marvel vs DC fighter!
;_;
>Motion controls will suck
>Jrpjs will become so weirder
>people jack off yo horses
>jacking off is a thing
>>247849839I wasn't expecting it honestly. He just showed up at the door, we went outside and took a walk. He bought some chips and soda.He didn't even know her made mom pregnant.I'm his second son, his first one committed suicide awhile backAll in all it was just something I had given up on so I had no idea how to react.
>>247848962
This. TGS is gonna be glorious while all these fags cry over games that will never be localized.
in the future the most popular game will be digital lego
and roleplaying games wont get better
also, everything will be procedurally generated which is a codeword for randomized worlds and non-existent level design
you will die on the fifth of november 2014. beter enjoy those games while your bran still works
>>247848598
>In the future, the entire SNES and Genesis catalogs will fit on a piece of media that's literally millimeters in size.
This still amazes me
I remember being about six years old and playing the Mega Drive at my uncle's house. He had one of those "6 in 1" compilation carts and I remember asking if they'd ever make one with every game on it. He said it would absolutely never happen.
Why is mumbo in that food
>>247850150
Prerendered trailers are not okay, and nor is 15 FPS.
>>247846713
>final fantasy with donald duck in it
wait what, how did i miss that
>>247848817
So you haven't played any old computer game have you?
>you'll have all kinds of porn imaginable and you'll laugh at the crap you used to fap too
>you'll fuck up every opportunity you have to fuck a girl because you're to stupid to take hints
>games will go to shit but dont worry at E3 2014 they actually turn around and some cool games are shown
>you'll still be a virgin in 18 years
>>247850689
>that second one
Fuck
I still think about those times occasionally
>>247850214
>finally find my mother, 11 years after she left in the middle of the night
>all the things I wanted to say, all the mental prep beforehand
>'we're drawing a blank, cap'n'"Hi mum."
Don't let the nightmares get to you. They get easier, eventually.
Beat games, don't just play them halfway. It is worth it even if you don't do it perfectly.Hide the knife better.
>>247849974
super heroes was good, stfu scrub
>There are no more cheat codes, you have to use a gameshark or similar thing
>playing games offline with a friend is basically dead, everything is done online nowadays
>3-d platformers died and were replaced by first person shooters. I know you like Codename Tenka, but nearly none of them are as cool as you think that game is.
>Myst is going to look like total shit in comparison to just about any modern game that plays in real time from my time period
>Most consoles only have a handful of exclusives, you won't have to worry about missing out because you only had a PS1 instead of both a PS1 and N64
>I know you thought Daggerfall was boring because of the procedural vastness of fucking nothing, but Morrowind, Oblivion, and Skyrim will be cool. Try not to let people ruin it for you.
>Crash actually talks in one of the future games. You're not going to be happy when he does.
>Beyond the Beyond will never get a sequel and everyone hated it
>You'll be able to play your playstation games on something around the size of your gameboy, along with some N64 games and all those NES/SNES games you don't have a console to play.
>People will start to care about you, I promise.
>>247850826
At least you didnt turn down a naked girl because you were to stupid to realize that a naked girl in a room with you meant she wanted sex
>>247846713
>kingdom hearts
>6 years old
What?
>>247850489
15 FPS? Really?
Guess it's shit then. Time to wait for TGS.
Also, Brandish wasn't technically announced at E3, but it was part of the event. I'd count it, so that's one good jap game (well, localization of a jap game).
>>247850834I did the same thing. "So anything you wanna ask?""Give me a moment"
>>247850874
>>247850470
holy fuck
>>247850979
yea, i guess i have that going for me
Also holy shit what
Keep a list of your favorite games, never lose it, you will come back to them
take every opportunity you can to leave home, its gets worse as you get older
And if you see a guy name Jesse in college, punch that fucker in the nuts then chop them off
also btw you are a furfag
>>247846713
There will one day be a game where Mario, Sonic, Mega Man, and Pac Man all fight.
Raiden will be cool one day
You won't care about a Devil May Cry game in the future/
>>247848514
>Futa will be your favorite
>>247848514
HAAAAAAL
HAAAAAAAAAAL
>>247850979
>girl literally on top of you
>"so anon, what do you want to do now?"
>"W-We can play some v-vidya I guess"
Y-you too.
>2014 is shit, the only technological achievement humanity has accomplished is some shitty thing that looks like your Game gear except it's flat and it's mainly used to complain about social justice and play video games without gameplay, it's moe like watching movies while occasionally pressing a button or two. No floating cities, no flying cars, no virtual reality, no hope for humanity. Become a villian and start killing people now that you're young and can't be punished for it. Your artistic name must be Edgy McEdge, people in the future will find it funny and make you famous with things called "memes" which is the epitome of humanity's intellect capabilities.
>>247851082
>at hotel for family vacation
>female cousins friend is there
>taking a shower
>everyone is still busy coming back from pool and getting food, I just came back early with cousins friend to get changed
>cousins friend walks out of shower naked and into the room with me
>starts slowly putting on clothes in front of me
>keeps trying to give me a full view
>I just pretend not to notice and look at the tv screen because I thought doing this was playing hard to get and girls like that
>>247846713
>>you'll be able to play Pokemon on your mobile phone
How young are you?
>human genitalia will be fully rendered in 3d in some games
>kotr will get a shit mmo sequel
>lesbian sex will be option for some games
>Mortal kombat will be more popular then street fighter and tekken.
>handheld games will not look like shit in the future
>we will have a black president that will suck bigger dick then clinton and bush put together
>>247850479
>>247848598
Am I the only one that was emulating snes and megadrive games on a Pentium 133 Mhz in 2000?
>>247851373
DOES IT HAVE ANY CHEAT CODES?
Pluto will be classified as a dwarf planet
The Higgs Boson is real
Mario fights Sonic, Megaman and Pac-Man in the same game
There are pokemon that evolve three times
Toad gets his own game
>>247851001
Yeah, there was a demo that was lagging badly. Presumably they'll fix that, but still, kind of silly.
>games will still have cheats in them, but you'll have to pay money. Furthermore, devs try to make you reliant on these cheats, call it pay 2 win or microtransactions. Please an hero so you don't have to live in this dark future with a dead gaming industry
>>247850470
Why are you killing yourself on such a specific date?
>>247846713
>your parents will die in a carcrash in 2 years.
damn, i miss them
>your sister hate you
>Aeris dies
>>247850551
Kingdom Hearts, man
>>247850470
I was going to make a joke about bran but then I realized you were dying.
You will be able to afford any video game console, pc and games when you hit 19.
Pokemon hits 800 pokemon in 2014.
Video games will be 100 times bigger than dragon warrior monster by 2008.
Megaman dies in 2013.
2 screens are better than 1.
Touch screen is better than controllers.
Age of Empires dies.
>>247846713
>Mom dies in eight years
>>247846713
You will go 30 minutes away to stand in line for 2 hours 30 minutes to play a game for 2 minutes.
And it will be 100% worth it.
Really OP? 6 years old? That's a little young to really say anything of substance.>BRUSH YOUR FUCKING TEETH YOU LITTLE SHIT
>>247851738
That's not very promising.
Well, it is exclusive to shit hardware, so I shouldn't have expected much. I wish people would stop focusing on GRAFICS if they're going to make their game console-exclusive.
>>247851515
He played KH at age 6 apparently.
There will be more than 700 pokemon
There are multiple Sonic and Mario games
Sega is a joke
Anime porn is your favorite pastime
Mom leaves Dad
P.S. You're way more attractive in highschool than you are at 20, use it while you can.
> >Nintendo is still going to be around
Your 6-year-old-self was a shitposter on /v/?
Play Pokemon or else you will have a terrible childhood.
>There will be this cool show called naruto that will come out. Don't get into it.
>There will be this weird website called gaia that will seem interesting. Don't get into it.
>eat your vitamins
>Don't pick your scabs
>Your favorite snowboarding game will get a sequel and it will be good, but everything after it will be trash.
>Make sure to make more god damn friends. Having a few isn't enough cause they go up and move and shit.
>>247852002
>You will be able to afford any video game console, pc and games when you hit 19.
You forgot
>you will have no time for video games at all and you'll end up only play a few video games every once in a while and you'll stare at your backlog wishing you had more time
>>247851016
I want to know more.
>>247851985
thanks, alzheimer's a bitch
>>247852002
>Touch screen is better than controllers.
This is actually objectively false, unless you're referring to a contact touch screen like on a DS, in which case it's just mostly false.
>>247848407
This meme is the worst thing ever and if you believe it fuck you get off my board
>>247852002
>2 screens are better than 1.
>Touch screen is better than controllers.
shit taste
>>247846713
dicks, they go into vaginas.
>>247852002
>AoE dies
Damn, I think I'd cry
>>247851580
I'm talking about 1995
You are going to enjoy a game immensely based on Christianity.
Your talent lies in fighting games. Don't bother with anything else.Don't take that blunt. It'll ruin your life.
>>247846713
>Video games will turn you into a depressed manchild with no career
>STAY THE FUCK AWAY FROM /v/
Scare the vidya out of me young.
2004 is going to be the best year for video games for you personally, and the gaming world at large. Really drink in the crazy shit that's happening that year.
It's also when you're going to get your hands on FFXI. You may feel at some point that you're spending too much time playing it, but trust me, play it even more. You'll only have so long to enjoy the game at its height and the friends you make there will be among the best.
Also, don't bend over backwards for sex. It's not as good as you might imagine. Save up some money, buy a decent hooker and you'll find out that it doesn't live up to the hype. Sex for money sounds stupid now, but it'll save you so much more than you can imagine right now.
Oh and when you get interested in Japanese in high school? Don't stop that shit. I know your high school will only offer 2 years of it, but get some self study material and enroll in college soon. Otherwise, you're going to waste a few years doing nothing important and working shitty jobs before you realize you had a passion for speaking weeb and you go back to school for it.
PS: Just grab titties. You're like 6 dude, no one can blame you for shit.
>>247846713
>6 year old self
What the fuck. Should I tell him that people will play games on their tv or what?
fucking underage /v/ i swear to god
>>247852128
Nah, by the time I was six I could at least understand something involving video games. No idea why some of these faggots would drop shit like 'family members die soon' on a six year old though.
>>247852538
>2 grills one cup is not a good idea
Pokemon gets Digimon evolutions
>>247846713
>In 15 years time you'll be a miserable shut in who can't even land a job and forced to live with your parents again straight after university.
>Enjoy
>>247852002
>Pokemon hits 800 pokemon in 2014.
Do you know something we don't?
Drop the video games and go outside or else in the future you will be looked down upon by the whole family as the weird one.
>>247852690
I have a 6 year old nephew and he's fucking dumb as shit. I don't mind him liking video games but when he asks me to help him out on Lego Batman several times in a level there's problems
Nintendo will be shit when you get older
>>247852002
>Age of Empires dies.
Kid keep playing fightan.
You'll love it.
>>247852232
>There will be this weird website called gaia that will seem interesting. Don't get into it.
[nervous laughter]
>>247852279He's had sex, tons of sex. He's been all over town, almost had sex in a Burger King. He's the total opposite of me.We have the same fingers and we lean forward the same way.
He's got a nose like me too. But some of his teeth are missing and he's a punk. And even though my stepdad and I had our initial disagreementHe almost killed me in a car accident.I still love him and consider him my pops.
>2015 is way better than back to the future
>Your second car will be able to fly
>Videogames look like the Holodeck
>you will be able to visit the moon colony in 2010
>There are going to be three new star wars movies and they are going to be the best movies ever made
>Japan has already made a real Gundam
>Your Grandad, the one that you really like, is still alive and well in 2015
>You will be able enter Nasa and be an Astronaut!
Now I just wish that when I go back to the present I could remember my altered life, remembering all my dreams and hopes being shattered one by one as the years go by.
>>247852167
No he didn't, learn to read.
Stay far, far, far away from a place called 4chan. Got that? Good.
>>247846713
SONIC, PACMAN, MARIO AND MEGAMAN ARE GOING TO BE IN A FIGHTING GAME, KICKING THE SHIT OUT OF EACH OTHER
Its true, I watched the video from my smartphone!
Whats a Smartphone? Nevermind.
>>247852678
Are you like 50 or what
> In a couple of years you will be able to live in Warcraft 3. You will kill your heroes Illidan and Arthas, and you will cheer while you do so. You will play that game for your whole youth and early adulthood, thats how good it will be.
>mfw I will never be a lvl 26 nightelf hunter named "elfon" again and sell everything I own and wear just to have the one gold for a guild tabard.
>>247853179
>he's got a nose like me too
we all do, anon
>>247853280
got a problem with that kiddo?
tv's will be able to display colour
you will be able to play games using the tv
there won't be any flying cars
you will spend the last of your days browsing something called the internet
don't start smoking, I can hardly breathe
the soviets and the americans won't nuke each other
THERE WILL BE NINTENDO GAMES
IN
3D
>>247853460
Is 45 underage to you
>>247853195
>Japan has already made a real Gundam
But they did.
>you will regret not spending time with gramps
>you'll play sega on your cellphone
>you'll lose your virginity with the girl of your dreams
>you
>you will spend 3 years of your life doing absolutely nothing, not even playing video games
>you will adore reading serious books
>you will see your dad destroy his career as he fights against corrupt politicians he can't win against, so eat that meat while you can still afford it
>>247853554
dont tell me now you are over 40 - PLEASE
>>247853365
>give friend a bunch of gold to buy gear
>he spends it all n white vendor hammers
>to this day will still give him shit for it
>>247851491
No
No no no no no
Also
>freshman year
>still in that phase where i think girls are icky
>girl literally calls me cute
>give her a disgusted face
>i had the hots for her
What the fuck is wrong with me
You may want to fuck older women now but you'll regret all the times you could have fucked lolis but didn't.
>>247854214
older women are the best in bed bro. No fucking games just plain fucking
>>247850470
*tips guy fawkes mask*
>Half of your favorite game franchises now are going to crash and burn
>Virtual Headsets are going to be a real thing
>there are games where their entire point is to have terrible controls and they are really fun
>There are 721+ pokemon now
>Pokegods become real but are called a different name
>Most of the games you play in the future are going to be on a computer
>the computer games you play in the future are all digital and require no physical copies
>You are going to lose a lot of money from seasonal game sales where they sell games at anywhere from 80% their regular price.
>>247854124
top kek, did the same one time, only to buy the dacian falx - at the time I thought it was the best fucking weapon in the game
>I know the migraines are rough and the asthma sucks, but you grow out of it in 4-6 years. Stick with football, the coaches hounded mom up till highschool about getting you back on the team and you could have made something big out of it.
>You know how often you lie? People lie to you too. Sometimes they do it to make you happy. Learn how to tell when someone is lying and always call them out on it.
>Your family will be very poor later. Tell your mom she gets shaky and can't hold things when she's older and that she needs to go get it checked while you guys can afford it. Don't worry, she'll be fine, I promise.
>When you get a job, stay with it. In the future, a job is more important than college, no matter what people tell you. Just save money like you were taught and things will work out great.
>>247854214
>6 years old
>Wanting to fuck
>>247853436You anons always manage to crack me up.
Dwarf fortress still won't be compleated
>>247854167
I was such an attractive teen too which sucks. I had no acne and my hair was gay as fuck but girls loved it. I was also baby faced as fuck, I was like a typical boy band faggot. I could have fucked like any girl in my school, this one girl was even talking to me and a friend and he kept asking her questions about who she thought was hotter and every time it was me and someone else she picked me. I ended up getting pretty ugly though so my days of fucking a ton of slutty virgins is over.
>>247854303
Yeah they're alright, but I still regret missing those chances.
And I had so many chances bro.
>>247846713
>your favorite game will be released in 2 years, but you won't discover it for quite a while
holy shit this one is so accurate.
>You will be able to explore worlds that are bigger than you can imagine
>physics will become a major part of games and add to immersion
>Once this level of tech is reached, games become shit. All of them. Every single one of them
>You will stop having fun in ten years and become really angry at everything
>But the happiness you feel and the joy you experience right now will force you to hang on for the rest of your pathetic life
>>247854583
>slutty virgins
Of course!
>>247854939
Girls that are in the middle of puberty and havent had sex but that's all they think about
>Home consoles are only going to get worse and phones are going to replace handhelds. Don't even bother with PC gaming as it's never going to be relevant. Just enjoy buttons while you can.
>In 7th grade you're going to discover Newgrounds, and get in a pissing contest with an edgy Sonic fan that'll last 3 years. Do yourself a favor and don't make a Gaia account.
>There will be waves of girls in the 7th grade who will want to ride your dick. Have fun being a footfag.
Videogames will be used to brainwash you into political views
>In 2 years you'll discover a site named 4chan while browsing on your iPad and go on a board named /v/ which will destory every fun you ever had with video games, forever.
>>247849629>tfw Biological father was an abusive, drunk boyfriend who raped mom and my sibling's father (man who raised me/Mother's ex-husband) is a negligent cheapskate who cares more about his step-children. I've never met the former but I recently discovered who he is.
>>247855581
>8 year old
>4chan
how old are you now?
>>247855067
I hate it that I find it weird that girls in their puberty think about sex the same way boys do. Fucking media brainwash tricking me into subconsciously thinking woman hate sex and only use men for they money.
>>247855868
Not him but I found 4chan when I was 12. I'm 21 now.
>>247855868
...9 whyplox dont ban me mods I'm just kiddinghaha
>>247854386
>Hard drives become so cheap and massive where you can have over 500 games of several gigabytes installed
>You can also use the same PC to play console from all, but the newest generation in high definition
>and stream them to laptops and tablets in your house
>>247855953
It ruined my teenage years with girls. I had a few girlfriends but I was just subconsciously believing none of them wanted to have sex. Now i'm 20 and it's tougher to get into a relationship because most girls expect you to have at least had sex a few times. I've almost stopped caring, I may just get an escort at this point.
Don't stick your dick in that octopus. Just don't.
>>247846713
>peeing your pants in first grade will not be the last time and will not be the end of your life
>expect to change a LOT when you turn 15, up until you're 17
>you're actually pretty handsome when you turn 20, your aunts and neighbors were right
>videogames are going to envelop most of your life and you're going to enjoy every single minute of it
>most of your friends are going to be pretty shitty until you get to college
>don't stop masturbating at 13, you're going to start again when you're 15 and wondered why the fuck did you ever stop in the first place
>don't break the TV, i know it sounds like a good idea at the moment, but it isn't.
>don't masturbate outside your room
>don't fret about getting a gf, you worry too much about it and you'll only get over it when you're 19, also, you became a creep at one point
>your fetish is perfectly normal, no matter what Luis says
>Luis is a pretty shit friend, whatever he says, take it with a grain of salt and NEVER completely unfriend him, you won't be able to hang out with your other friends since he's the only one who can give you a ride
>no, putting your ipod on your head doesn't give you the ability to control it with your mind, all those other times were coincidences.
>you drop out of karate
>you get a PC that doesn't suck dick when you're 19, not a minute earlier
>considering all you're going to go through, I turned out just fine, I'm proud of you.
>>247856469
This sounds like a story I want to hear.
Hitler is going to invade Poland and start the second world war.
>>247856192
Were you one of these weird short boys with glasses and a brain like 6 years older than their body posting on anime- orums with the age of ten pretending you are 20?
Spyro 4 will be absolutely terrible.
>>247856309
Same. The only reason I'm not a virgin is because a girl I met through a friend is a bit of a slut and has a fetish for virgins for some weird reason.
>>247846713
Someday you'll be OK with paying for games.
MMOs won't improve.
>>247856478
fucking Luis
>>247856949
That's pretty cool.
>tfw an older female friend of mine gave me a few BJ's before she moved away for college
At least i've made it farther than most people
I'd tell my 14 year old self to enjoy every moment of Starsiege Tribes cause its the best damn game ever fucking made and it will die in 2 years, and nothing will come close ever again.
I'd tell myself to find a better hobby cause this one turned to commercialised shit.
>>247856904
What the fuck? Spyro 4 was the shit.
>>247856876
I wasn't short but the rest is pretty much spot on.
>>247856868
Long story short I found an octopus at the beach, had my way with it, now I have too many weird invertebrate-related fetishes to enjoy normal porn.
>>247856309
You and me bro. Fucking hell, there were so many opportunities like one time where the girl I was madly in love with massaged my dick through my pants under the table IN FUCKING SCHOOL - the brainwashed, dumb teenager I was assumed she didn't know it was my dick because all women hate sex right.
>>247857273
To be completely honest you could just lie about being a virgin. A lot of women don't know what great sex is like, and as long as you know where the clit is, where to put the dick, and to wet your dick before going in if you didn't do some foreplay they won't really know the difference. Watch a few instructional videos or something then lie through your teeth. Worst that happens is you can blame your shitty sex skills on an imaginary ex that never helped you get better and they either stop having sex with you or tell you what you're doing wrong so you can improve.
>>247846713
>You're going to be a video game developer when you grow up
>You're also going to have a brother and sister eventually.
>You're going to build a PC when you're 11, and mom is going to blame everything about your dropping grades on it, and on you for skipping classes.
>Don't believe her. You're sick, and she never realizes it.
>Oh, and keep cycling and swimming.
>>247857904
*And I just laughed it off. A couple weeks later she lost her virginity to some random guy way older than we all were.
>>247857890
Spyro 4 was a laggy, unfinished mess, and a severe drop in quality from what the original trilogy was.
>See that mountain?You can climb it
>>247846713
Last one is bullshit. Transformed is a great game.
6 huh? I think I'll just tell him about the next two years than everything.
>Your parents will get a divorce because your mother is into drugs and your dad is cheating on your mom. Dad will never call.
>Your 13 year old sister will invite some friends over and all of them will play with your dick. You will freak out because you have no idea whats going on.
>Your cousin will constantly try to shower with you. She eventually convinces you and you do some shit in the shower that leads you to regret being a bitch a few months ago.
>When you're 7, stepmother will strip you naked and force you to eat her out. At first you'll think its awful until she lets you suck her tits, then you'll think its awesome. I think this might be why you're so fucked up later on.
>Your brother's best friend gets shot because the two of them are in a pretend gang. Your brother gets real as hell and beats the shit out of like 3 dudes in front of you a week later. You're gonna freak, this causes someone to call the cops. Straight up, neighbor said they didn't care until it sounded like a kid was involved.
>He comes out a real criminal after that. Thanks Prison. He single handedly destroys all the bonds in your family by somehow making everyone hate him and each other.He's still the coolest to you because he's your big brother.
>Your brother will eventually meet some drug addict chick, knock her up and levels out and becomes normal once he holds his son in his arms. He tries to convince that bitch that she should stop doing drugs. She refuses and literally steals the kid and runs away. Somehow, your brother goes to prison over this. You never figure out why, but you assume it's just his record. He goes back to going crazy after that.
>Your mom gets into harder drugs and literally leaves you and your sister home alone for days at a time. Stay in school kid, you'll need it.
>But it's not all bad kid! Sonic and Mario will be on the same system eventually! That's exciting right?
>>247856469
excuse me what
>>247846713
>Nintendo is still going to be around
I highly doubt your 6 year old self was thinking about the welfare of companies.
In the 70s interactive electronic toys for your tv will be invented.
It doesnt get good until late 80s but that doesnt last.
Starbucks coffee. Invest.
>there will be a Captain America movie. First one's alright but second one blows it out of the water. Also, there's a comic that's not even out yet called Guardians of the Galaxy. It's getting a big budget movie with Thanos and you'll be excited as fuck for it.
>what's Thanos? He fights the Avengers. I'll leave you there
>also megaman, pac-man, and sonic join Smash.
>stay in shape right now and keep playing sports,or you'll get asthma and be fat for six years until eighth grade and only then redevelop social skills.
>anytime a thread involving talking to your past self happens it turns into people being bitter as shit or trying to 1-up eachother about how terrible their life is
Fucking why?
>>247854013
>>247854013
>You will still be here at 40 if you haven't killed yourself by then
>Crash will die
>Spyro will turn into an extremely disfigured manifestation of it's self
>DON'T HIT THE GIRL THAT SIT NEXT TO YOU SHE'S ACTUALLY LIKES YOU AND YOU'LL NEVER SEE HER AGAIN
>Don't stop learning programming
>Continue to learn Japanese there are alot of good japanese games
>Don't get into bleach sure the show starts off good but it will turn to shit in a few years and you will force yourself to read every chapter
>Don't buy a Sony console after the PS3
>Keep lifting and doing cardio the girls will love you
>>247856478
>no, putting your ipod on your head doesn't give you the ability to control it with your mind, all those other times were coincidences.
>don't break the TV, i know it sounds like a good idea at the moment, but it isn't.
>your fetish is perfectly normal, no matter what Luis says
>Luis is a pretty shit friend, whatever he says, take it with a grain of salt and NEVER completely unfriend him, you won't be able to hang out with your other friends since he's the only one who can give you a ride
>don't masturbate outside your room
you sound fun.
>>247857976
Addition to this good post which isnt mine: My serious advice would be to just fuck a hooker so your brain realizes that sex per se isn't something special so you can tell your romantic interest that you are not a virgin AND you arent that nervous because the "mystic vagina" is debunked.
When I look back at how I lost my virginity, it literally wouldn't have made a difference if It happened to a hooker.
Specifically look for a hooker which whom you have like 1-2 hours time to completely explore the female body and make yourself comfortable with.
>>247857976
I could do that, I dont really feel like lying if I want to have a relationship though.
>>247858404
>tfw the 5'1 little asian girl at my school who had a crush on me went and fucked a 24 year old because I never got any of her hints and she thought I was gay
>>247859273t-thanks
>>247859082
Because thats natural? Every person did things in their past which they regret - thinking about the topic of this thread brings these memories back. You could really come up with that yourself, anon.
>you will be able to play any video game you want at anytime
>you will not want to play video games anymore
>>247859594
where you from, sugar?
>>247846713
You're going to drop out of university and spend about two years cooped up in your house, with only your family for company.Not to bad, actually. Being a NEET is pretty comfy these days.
>>247846713
>You're going to be just fine, kid.
>>247859327
You don't have to be in a relationship to have sex, nor does a relationship have to have sex as a large part of it. Like >>247859315 said, sex isn't that special. Girls that want a non-virgin are basically just wanting someone that isn't going to freeze up or harm them out of ignorance. If someone won't date you solely because you're a virgin, they either aren't worth dating or are worth lying to about such a thing.
Lie about it, lie about why you suck if you do, then rinse and repeat until you find someone who will stick with you and teach you how to get better. The only other way is hooker like the above guy mentioned or hope a girl with a virgin fetish like that other guy mentioned shows up in your life.
You're going to be constantly pestered by your Dad to get a job "subtly"
You're going to go from being fairly sociable to afraid of going outside for anything if you aren't with someone
You're going to lose all your friends except for one that you meet in 4 years
Things only go downhill from here, kid.
>tfw various cute girls want to sleep with you and you can't decide on which one you want on any given night and you get dangerously close to dropping your spaghetti when they ask if you are talking to any other girls
>>247860453
Venezuela.
I bet I'm not that interesting anymore
>>247860819
That second one doesn't make much sense i just realized
Go from fairly sociable to introverted as fuck
>>247860740
I imagine the anon you responded to wanting a lasting relationship - I cant imagine a lasting relationship with a girl with a virgin fetish - after the first time, does she even want to have sex with you ever again?
>>247859210
>Don't get into bleach sure the show starts off good but it will turn to shit in a few years and you will force yourself to read every chapter
HAW HAW HAWI know your pain.
>>247860951
>you will use the internet to talk to people on a special site ANONYMOUSLY
>but you will be one of the faggots who don't want to be anonymous, completely shitting on the concept of the site
Don't play Virtual Boy. It sucks so bad it kills the idea until you're 30. At that point a James Bond Jr. villain buys the rights to the one hope for VR killing any chance that it'll ever be good.
You're going to get addicted to the Internet, and turn into a weird, lethargic recluse.
>>247850689
Are you me?!
It took me a relationship to realize women hit on me occasionally. I feel retarded.
>>247846713
>mario and sonic fight each other and it'll be great
why would you lie to yourself like that?
>protect your ps2, your dad will end up breaking it
>don't let your brother sell his sega genesis to our cousins
>don't hang out with chris, he will ruin your friendship with your childhood friend
>don't feel sad about being poor, the future will be better and you will have a BMW
>don't try to stab your older brother everytime he slaps you in the head
>don't show your older female cousins yourpenis
>don't show chris yourpenis, that is what turns himgay
>you won't have dial-up internet for ever
>avoid chris becoming your friend at all cost
>>247861698
Kid, I know video games are fun and all, but you can't keep spending all day playing them. That doesn't mean stop playing them entirely, but for God's sake, get some moderation in your life so you can get a job.
>>247846713
>Hitler was right
>>247861898
>tfw the last gf I had got mad at me because she said she thought I was cheating on her
>apparently im to attractive for her and girls keep staring at me
I dont even know, I mean I lift a few times a week but im pretty fucking average. I really only get compliments from old ladies and landwhales.
I'll keep it video games.
>Sonic, Megaman, and Pac-Man will one day be in Smash
>You will be able to play games with people online from all around the world on consoles
>You will be able to emulate every game you play now on a laptop
>Nintendo will create a console based around motion controls
>Nintendo will create another console with a second screen on the controller
>Handhelds will be able to play games in full 3D with better graphics than anything in your time
>Pokemon is still a thing 15 years later
>The newest Pokemon is in 3D with over 700 Pokemon and has Mega Evolutions
>The majority of games will be played on phones
>Microsoft will release a console in five years when Sega leaves te console market
>3D platformers are dead outside of Mario. Shooters make up 90%+ of new games, most of which are rehashed shit.
>There are 14 Final Fantasy games. Almost all of the new ones are shit.
>There will be a Mario game in space where you explore galaxies. It and the sequel are the best games of their generation.
>>247862627
What's that supposed to mean? I hate pictures which don't show clear emotions. Are you laughing with me oder insulting me?
>>247862953
>Believe it or not you'll accept your hair loss and start wearing hats
>Don't bother to stop smoking weed, You won't get any drug tests
>Don't take apart your fucking ps3 to clean it, you'll give yourself a ylod and it's not even that dusty inside.
>>247863290
I will take that as an "I like your posts, anon!" Thanks :3
>You'll still like pokemon.
>Nintendo is still around.
>You will learn how to cook well.
>Go outside more you lazy shit
>You'll never meet Dad again.
>Spend more time with Mom [spoiler/];_;
>>247863540
One day you'll own your own computer.
You'll build it yourself.
You will eventually surpass your dad in computer knowledge, although he was your mentor and your idol.
You will never play a videogame you didn't like.except for dust. don't play dust, please
One day, you'll grow out of video games.
>>247862921
Also, 15 years from now, you will try to become a regular browser of an image board called "/v/ - VIDEO GAMES". There's no point in going there because no one there actually plays video games. All they do is talk shit about games/platforms they have never played, post pictures of little girls getting fucked, and whine about their personal lives for attention. Everyone there is a bunch of faggots.
>>247864692
>you will reach a point were you complain more about video games instead playing them.
>>247864692
>this pain
they will have controllers that shake
>Make sure you kiss Jenny when you are in the park
>You will end up getting way more action then should be possible for someone with your looks
>Don't fuck up school
>Make sure you hang out with Olivia, shes chill.
>You are gonna have a kick ass computer that plays really cool games and doesn't afrade of anything
>DO NOT PLAY KATAWA SHOUJO UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES. THIS IS IMPORTANT.
>Make sure you don't let people know you watch anime, you stupid fuck.
>The godzilla movie in 2014 is hype as fuck
>Lisa is a slut and not the good kind.
>Don't trade in ANY video games. You will always regret it.
you should stop.
>>247866121
>Don't play KS.
Elaborate, nig.
DON'T THROW YOUR N64 BOXES AWAY
>>247866382
Well I'm not that guy but I would tell my younger self to avoid shit games too. I don't think I'd bother with specific ones though, unless I actually wasted money on them.
>>247866382It made me realize how painfully lonely I was and made me spiral into a year and a half long depression. I was very suicidal for quite some time because of it. All the while madly in love with a fictional character, whom I would cry over at least once a week.
you will NEVER EVER get to play GTA V.
>If you keep eating sugary shit, you'll get diabetes
>>247867648
Goddammit
Anon, there's going to be this website on the Internet called 4chan. Whatever you do, stay away from that site. It will consume your life, and you'll end up being a kissless virgin NEET because 4chan will make you just sit on your ass all day.
>>247867559
back to your containment general
>>247858691
its seems like the great things in life came with a great ticket later.
I wish i had your childhood.
I'm greatfull i didnt had what comes later.
>>247867559
>spiral into suicidal depression over loneliness
>couldn't even pick the best KS girl
At least tell me you ran for her. This is the only thing that can redeem you.
>1988
>explaining 2014
I'd give myself a heartattack.
>>247868176almost every day
>>247867559
You've convinced me to play it>play
video games are shit and you should stop playing them before you become shit too
>>247851036
What?
>>247867559
Nigger I've been in love with a fictional character for years and she's actually a good character to boot, and I didn't wallow in my own depression for years.
Git gud and stop being a faggot.
