ITT: Times we behaved similarly to The Comedian
>>71967558
I waste my life away on /tv/
Somebody stop me HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAH
>I posted saying that I reported and saged a shit thread
>I actually didn't
>mom asked me to change the kitty litter
>only scooped out the shit and didn't change the litter
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA
I POOPED MY PANTS TODAY
SOMEONE LOCK ME UP
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA
>>71967558
This actually isn't about me, but the impact the new joker has had on my little brother's mental state. It's a really hard story for me to tell, but if it helps only one person out there it's worth it, so I'll force myself to power through. Here goes:
>visiting home
>brother runs up to me, uncharacteristically frantic
>"anon, have you seen the new joker? Joker from TDK was an anarchist, but this new one is a FUCKING LUNATIC. PLAIN. AND. SIMPLE.
>"sounds pretty cool, bro"
>if only i knew what was to come
>back home a month later
>notice immediately that my brother's behavior has subtly, yet markedly changed
>keeps saying strange and provocative things
>"when i die, i dont even care if i go to hell"
>"i just do my math hw during lunch period now, caring about school is for sheep"
>"the shark in jaws didnt do anything wrong, it was just following its instincts"
>sternly tell him each time that he's not being funny, but just write it off as teenage rebelliousness
>fast forward to three months later
>get text from my mom, "ANON, COME HOME NOW! ITS UR BROTHER"
>open the door, and immediately get a sinking feeling in my stomach
>thermostat is turned up to 82
>as my eyes move down, my soul fills with dread as i see a post-it stuck to the wall
>"i bet youre wondering why it is so hot in our humble abode. ive come to realize that there is no god, so i decided to create my OWN PERSONAL HELL. But dont worry, sharing is caring..."
>seriously consider leaving, but decide to be strong for the sake of my family
>walk up the stairs, and see our family cat out of the corner of my eye
>go down to pet it to get some relief from the abyss i find myself exploring
>what i see next freezes me mid-kneel, as if my body is temporarily possessed by some benevolent ethereal being urging me to flee and save myself
>my brother had cut out a devil mask with horns and eyeholes, colored it in with red sharpie, and gently secured it with one of my father's shoelaces
>>71967763
>continue to his room and see my mother crying
>never seen her cry before. very uneasy about what is in store, but nothing could have prepared me for what i was about to see
>my brother is sitting on his bed, shirtless
>…”MANIAC" is written across his chest in pen with medium sized letters
>can’t take it anymore, burst into tears
>through the shroud of my own distress, i faintly hear “BUT ANON, YOU HAVENT EVEN SEEN THE FAMILY COOKBOOK YET…HAAHAHAHAHAAH,” as if spoken by a demonic ghost
>i look at my mom and see her binder of recipes that she uses as a reference when entertaining guests
>as i reach for it with trembling hands, the only communication she can manage is manic head shaking and repeated muffled utterances of “don’t look. don’t look. don’t look. don’t look”
>i don’t know what possessed me to open up the thanksgiving section, but in retrospect, i think i knew in my gut what i was going to find, despite my inability to believe it rationality
>"Roast Turkey" and "Cranberry Sauce" were crossed out, and Stuffing and a word scrawled in the margin…
>…”Roast HUMAN”, “BLOOD Sauce”, and "BRAIN Stuffing” were the ghastly, ghastly replacements
>immediately vomit and curl up on the floor in the fetal position
I honestly don’t remember much after that, but the police said that was how they found me and family when they arrived. Apparently, two of the officers at the scene retired after witnessing the carnage. My brother’s in an institution now, and I want to believe that he’ll get better, but deep down I know there’s no coming back from what he did. Whenever I try to sleep now, all I can hear is that horrible laughter...
>>71967793
I get what you're going for, but the roast human, blood, brains, actually is genuinely disturbing and eh... kinda undermines it a little. Or maybe that's just me.
>>71967974
TRIGGERED
>>71967763
jesus, i cant decide to be disturbed or laugh at this.
>>71967763
>>71967793
If there was any truth in this at all, you sir, win the gutless faggot award of the century.
If I came home and found my little brother was doing that, I would have beat the utter fuck out of him before tying him up, throwing his unconscious ass out on the front lawn, then calling the cops on him. Stupid little cunt can wake up to himself the hard way.
>Mom told me to take out the trash
>I left it outside the door
OOOH HOO HOO HA HAAAAAAAA
>mommy tells me to sleep by 10 pm
>sleep at 10:01
OFF THE RAILS
>mommy asks if I want tendies for dinner
>tell her no, I want mac and cheese
>when she brings it, I tell her I wanted tendies
HO HO HO PULLED THE WOOL OVER YOUR EYES
>mom asks me to microwave some hot pockets
>I don't use the crisper sheath
>they're mildly soggy
>she eats them but I know she didn't like it
WE'RE ALL MAD HERE HA HA HA
He said The Comedian, jackasses.
>>71968726
>OP asks for times we acted like the comedian
>greentext a story about how I acted like the joker
SSSSSSOMEBODY STOP ME
>>71968726
>shoot a pregnant prostitute
HO HO HO HE HA HA
>>71967793
This actually reads like a serious thriller
>>71968789
Kek you fuckin madman
>>71967974
>>71968097
>>71968388
Obviously I was joking...
pic relatedi was the jokester in that story all along
>driving with my mom
>come up to a stop sign and roll through it
>mother tells me how much that scares her and yells at me
>come up to another stop sign
>do it again
I DON'T THINK I CAN COME BACK FROM THIS
>>71967558
>raping Vietnamese women, then shooting them in the face after being confronted over paternity
just like The Comedian
I SAVE THUMBNAILS ON AN IMAGE BOARD
WHO'S GONNA STOP ME HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
>>71968726
Is he the one that rapes a chick?
Because ive raped a chick
I once tried telling this girl a joke I saw in a movie once and sperged really hard and she never talked to me again
>memorial day
>grandpa takes us to the Vietnam War memorial
>"Hey gramps if these guys were so brave how did they get beat by rice farmers?"
>he just sighs and turns away from me
Stupid old fuck no one even cares about Vietnam anyway lol
>>71968717
is that what it's called?
the 'crisper sheath'?
I always called it the baking shieldactually i have never called it that. HO HO HO HO HEEE
>>71970377
hey. not cool dude.
>be me
>first day of class
>teacher has us introduce ourselves
>my turn comes up
>"I'm Jason but I go by Mistah J. I'm dark, have a problem with authority, and a devilish wit. And yeah: I vape. Problem? Get in line."
>rest of the class so afraid they don't talk to me the rest of the year
DON'T BE AFRAID, WE'RE ONLY HERE FOR FUN AHHHHAHAHAHAHAHA
>>71968388
>>71969988
>>71970011
>>71970111
>>71970377
>>71970400
Nice digits.
>>71970377
Hey we're supposed to tell times we acted like the comedian. Not times we acted like friggin satan.
>mom's husband (I will NEVER refer to him as "dad") keeps trying to connect with me
>builds a gym in the basement like a typical Chad
>"Come on, bud, let's get those mscles up, drive the girls crazy, whaddya say kiddo?"
>like I'd even associate with those barbie whores at my school
>"Sorry Warren...I don't need muscles when I have intelligence and my nihilistic wit."
>later that day, change his phones language setting from English to Spanish
iESTA LOCO!
Why do DC movies spawn so many memes? Baneposting, Leto's Joker, BvS
>>71970663
I would murder to have a dad like that :-(
>>71970993
If you don't do I might
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA SOMEBODY STOP ME
>playing overwatch
>select junkrat with jester skin
WATCH OUT NORMIES, I'M HERE TO WAKE YOU UP
