Is /tv/ Team Edward or Team Jacob ?
>>71715737
team bane
>>71715737
Edward
>>71717401
>bane
>not team See-Ay-Aay
I am ddiissaappoioinntt
volturi
>>71715737
It's amazing how short lived this was, given how utterly rabid people got about it.
>>71715737
team cia
also,
>girls used to fawn over these guys
Why? they are nothing special next to guys like Chris Evans, Henry Cavill, Christian Bale and Ben Affleck.
And that's just from super hero movies.
>>71717712
Because of escape fantasies
>my boring life is so fkin booriiing, wish it was more exciting
>why doesn't anyone notice me? I'm special!!
>omg a cute super strong immortal vampire falls in love with me and would do anything for me
>omg 2 guys are fighting over me xD!!!! OMG WISH THIS WAS ME!!!
>>71715737
let me see
>wanting to be a fag who turns to a goddamn wolf
>having to buy new clothes all the time
vs.
>being a beautiful shining motherfucker
>get all the hot chicks
>be able to run at high speed
>be strong as fuck
yeah, I wonder
In real life a girl wouldn't have gone for Edward because he's a fucking self-doubting a-social beta cuck whereas the wolf is pretty alpha.
But since this is fiction, I'd have gone for Edward.
>>71717712
pattinson actually looks somewhat good so I can understand girls going apeshit over him
the wolf boy on the other hand looks like some dirty spic who has never had a proper beard in his life. girls who like him really are the bottom of the barrel
>>71717712
Because Bella was written brilliantly, in a way.
Up until book 4, she was the absolutely perfect Self Insert character for anyone who didn't give a damn about little things like plot holes, shit characterisation, being a literal psychopath, etc.
She was described as pretty much perfect, but without the specifics that would prevent self insertion.
>>71717881
>In real life a girl wouldn't have gone for Edward because he's a fucking self-doubting a-social beta cuck whereas the wolf is pretty alpha.
never read the books but wasn't it somehow implied that he had some sort pheromone shit going on? that girls couldn't resist him or something?
>>71715737
>mfw i had to go see the first one with a girl from high school
even she said they were dumb as shit, still doesn't excuse her from reading the books
>jacob was cucking the fuck out of edward then falls in love with the baby who will be an adult in a few years
TEAM JACOB
>>71717930
>tfw I actually asked my ex to watch the first one just for the lulz
>tfw it was quite alright, even if somewhat cringeworthy
>tfw tried to read the first book afterwards but couldn't get past two pages
two motherfucking pages. never in my life had I stopped reading a book after two pages but stephanie meyer is a terrible and I truly mean TERRIBLE writer
>>71717979
I don't even know how girls were able to like that shit. I mean putting ethics aside, that shit is just retarded
>>71717930
>only one movie
I had to watch two of them with my GF and some of her friends at the time.It was alright
>>71717992
I think only the first 2 books were out back then, but yeah they were really shitty and solely made for insecure girls to self insert themselves in Bella's character.
She stopped reading them after the first movie came out thankfully.
>>71717930
The books are hilarious, m8.
They make no fucking sense whatsoever, the characters are all cowardly escaped lobotomy patients, the only likable characters are antagonistic, and they manage to have good guys that condone eating babies to create psychotic vampire babby that would go on an unstoppable rampage until put down.
For bonus points, try imagining a tumblrite REEEEing over the blissfully inadvertent racism and sexism in it.
>>71717401
Bane?
>>71715737
>Team "I actually think you're a cool person and our positive qualities totally mesh
or
>Team "I'm 400 years old and still go to high-school because I am a creepy fuck. Also, I totally stalked you for three years that one time and also leaving bruises and broken bones on you is perfectly okay because I love you
Yeah, take a wild fucking guess.
>>71718165
because it was by a woman who probably wrote this shit when she was a sperg teenager
>>71715737
Team Van Helsing.
>>71718219
The depressing part is that she imagined and wrote it while in her 30s.
The funny part is that she has a degree in English Literature.
>>71717881
Breh Jacob was the most beta bastard ever put to film. I can't be bothered to find movie clips but CinemaSins shows this pretty well. Skip to 15 mins in, or when you see them in a tent
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gXPfFn8pO1M
Jacob = kino
Edward= lowbrow pleb trash
As a person/story: Team Jacob
In the looks category: Team Edward
RPattz is handsome as hell
>>71718469
Jacob = manlet
Edward = beta faggot who ended up getting cucked by kristen
Team Mustache Dad reporting in.
Team Charlie, dude didn't deserve this shit.
>>71718150
I think the first three were out by that time and I'm a sucker for fantasy. this though..... this was something else entirely
I really got a hearty laugh when I found a quote by stephen king where he himself stated that stephanie meyer didn't know how to write for shit
>>71718221
fuck yeah
>>71715737
Team Alice because she started my short hair fetish... Got dat hair still gives me a raging hard on and fills my mind with kinky filthy thoughts
>>71715737
Edward. Bob seems like a pretty cool guy irl.
>>71715737
Jacob is objectively a better developed character (which isn't saying much) but Bella/Jacob would have betrayed the entirety of the series, which is in essence a fat girl's supernatural fap fantasy. Jacob has to exist so fatty can turn him down and feel more empowered instead of being satisfied with one Prince Charming. I'd choose to be a Vampire in the Twilight world, though.
>>71718024
It happened right and the end and by then it was too late to make this not a phenomenon
>>71719066
This, loves Death Grips, mocked Twilight's plot and chills with David Cronenberg.
>>71717909
Thank goodness someone else recognizes that Bella Swan was a walking swatch of destruction sociopathically focused on her Happily Ever After. Nothing would stand in her way. I mean, fuck ever seeing your parents and friends again, right?
>>71715737
The only work Jacob can get these days is playing the retard part in Adam Sandler movies.. So i guess Team Edward won
>>71717884
>Pattinson over Lautner
No
The first movie isdecentdesu.
>>71718024
Myers had to give a cathartic ending to Jacob to complete her fantasy and appease the Team Jacob hoardes. Luckily for her the baby born from Vampire love and mental gymnastics was an easy, and more importantly unattached, fix. God Forbid one of her characters doesn't hook up with their soulmate in Forks, Washington.
>>71719691
I think Leah got screwed in the whole deal. That's about it.
>>71720285
Oh right, I had forgotten about her. But she also still has the ability to "imprint"(kek) like the rest of the unattached wolves.
>>71719295
Wow he got JUSTed real bad
That's pretty sad honestly
>>71715737
Edward is our boy. Lautner is a midget who couldn't close the deal with Taylor Swift. Eddy got closer to K-stew's feet than anyone here, and even if he got cucked in the end, it was probably all worth it for the feet
>>71719576
no its not
>>71715737
I was Team Jacob when the movies were out but now that I found out Robert Pattinson is based as fuck, I'm Team Edward.
Also in case you haven't seen it yet, Breaking Dawn Part Two is the comedy of the century, you guys should go watch it.
>>71715737
if I had no choice I would go with Edward. Edward is a jackass but I don't want my face destroyed in jacobs hormone rage nor do I want him constantly running off for pack shit. Edward being dead is kind of disgusting but I think I would get over it once I too am dead give that vampires in this story are more like faeries
>>71718203
>Team "I actually think you're a cool person and our positive qualities totally mesh
are you delusional? Which of their positive qualities totally mesh?
>>71717549
>It's amazing how short lived this was, given how utterly rabid people got about it.
Part of it was the ability of fans to transfer their feelings about the relationship of the main characters to their relationship in real life.
But either it was real and was ended by her infidelity or, as is more likely, it was only sort of real in the beginning and they were convinced to keep it going for as long as these movies were being made.
In any case, they're really comfy (if campy) and I unironically enjoyed them. You can all suck my beenis :3
>>71718902
>not picking tarkin
you are shit
>>71717401
>not team masketta
>>71721159
It really is, it doesn't even feel real.
>>71721159
Aro was fucking Sheev 2.0 I swear. Sheen was so hilariously based in these, especially the last one.
>>71717992
>>71718165
you would be surprised how common such shit works are in YA world. In some cases I can say "this does not speak to me because I am a guy" but i most cases its just shit. I did like vampire academy from part 3 onward, its comfy.
>>71719576I agree
>>71718755
>cam rip
Fucking hell how old is this gif
>>71717801
>>having to buy new clothes all the time
they hide them in the woods.
>yeah, I wonder
you forgot the x men powers
>>71719576
desu, with rifftrax its quality sleeping aid
>>71721314
The movies are shot in a highly stylized way that was somewhat evocative and in keeping with the feel of the source material, I thought. But a nice looking piece of shit is still shit.
>>71718755
He always look so sad through out these movies like he wants to badly talk some sense into his selfish daughter but he knows it's a waste a time.
>>71717992
>tfw I read all four books
I read the first one, thought it was such a piece of shit the hype behind it didn't make sense. So I figured, maybe the second one is a lot better and that's why everyone's sucking the dick of this series.
Holy shit was I wrong. A month later, I realised I had wasted my timeand moneyreading these shitty books
>>71721636
I watched first 3 movies at least 2-3 times but you are worse. Did you get audio books or did you physically read the words?
>>71720647
Doubtful. She stopped menstruating, remember?
No cycle, no kids, no imprinting.
>>71721768
Physically read the words. I still have the books somewhere in my closet
>>71721791
>Physically read the words.
absolute madman
>>71721778
That's because the wolves are immortal until the danger of the cold ones passes. Then they can settle down. The other wolves were all still imprinting while they were immortal, so once they turn mortal again, her cycle will start again. No reason she can't imprint.
>>71715737
>Edward: 6ft2in
>Jacob: "5ft10in"
I think that tells you everything you need to know.
>>71721961
I think they're immortal until they stop shifting. The danger rewoke them but they could keep shifting if they wanted.
It's just that she'll have to stop while the guys won't ... they can be immortal and still have kids, she can't.
Leah = rawest deal.
>>71721381EHEHEHEHEHE
>>71717712
most read the books in middle school years. then the movies came out year after year as puberty hit them.
>>71717784
this also
>>71722485
>Ok Mr Sheen, your motivation in this scene is that you're batshit insane, on crack and you fucking love evil.
>>71715737
I surprisingly liked Jacob. Everyone else is melodramatic and self-obsessed, but he just swans around not giving a fuck.
>Bella's dad can't know she's a vampire. She needs to fake her death and run away.
>Nah it's cool I told him. He'll be here in ten minutes.
>Jacob! You might get him killed.
>Nah, whatever. I'm off to ride dirtbikes.
>>71724426
Edward doesn't even seem that bad compared to her.
Bella, though ... how many vampires die, people die, and folks get wolfed out due to her obsession?
You figure if she dropped it when Edward said drop it, James and Victoria would have gone on their merry way and what's his face, Laurant, would have gone to that coven up north.
The Cullens would have moved on so the wolfening of the tribe would have stopped and maybe Jacob wouldn't be so miserable.
Bunch of people in and around Forks wouldn't have died because Victoria wouldn't come back. (New Moon's my favorite, it's depressing)
Swan doesn't even miss a beat at the thought of faking her death and destroying her parents. And then there's the bit where she wonders what her "score" or "total" (of accidental human victims) will be when she's changed. She's totes okay with there being some dead peeps if she gets her Happily Ever After.
Bitch is SCARY.
>>71718221
Team Peter Cushing
>>71715737
Team Cedric Diggory. Sharkboy can go suck a dick
>>71718755
I would actually like a story where Bella gets murdered by Edward and Mustache dad hunts down vampires for the rest of his life.
How do you differentiate handsome men from normal men? They all look the same to me....
(Except Henry Cavill)
>>71720647
But anon, Leah was antagonistic to Myer's self insert; no chance in hell for a happy ending for her!
My sister had the audiobooks and I had to listen to that fucking drivel every night through my wall.
On one hand it's how I picked up Discworld, through audiobooks so I didn't have to listen to that shit. On the other hand I had to listen to that shit.
It made me hate the movies with a passion.
>>71729266
Twilight isn't that bad
t. straight guy
>>71729321
Well I disagree so you better fucking stay up at night with a gun, partner. As soon as I find where you live I'm going to debate you for hours.
>>71729338
Seriously, what's so bad about it? Do you not want a grill who wets her panties every time she sees you?
>>71729374
Because it was like listening to shit straight from some tumblr lardplanet's fanfiction narrated by untalented faggots fresh out of highschool for untalented faggots fresh out of highschool. None of the characters were believable, none of their actions were believable, the main character and by extension everyone that the fat shit author wanted to stuff into her hamwhale cooch was a do-nothing-wrong Mary Sue-tier shitstreak.
My Immortal would be more entertaining to listen to. In fact My Immortal would probably be a fucking masterpiece on the big screen.
>>71719066
Eh but his fiancée though..
Edward is an ancient old man fucking a teenager.
The furry fell in love with a toddler.
They are both disgusting freaks.
>>71729453
>Gambon was channeling the spirit of Albert Dumblydore when playing the role of Albus
It all makes sense now
>>71729453
>muh fiction should not be like fiction! It should be exactly like real life! It shoudl make me feel comfortable! Nobody is perfect, even in fiction! I shouldn't have to read fiction where people are perfect and the world is, too!
This is you. A retarded fat fuck.
>>71729534
Weak bait. Mediocre.
>>71729578
Not bait
>>71729677
Well, Not Bait, it was weak bait.
>>71729692
Wasn't bait at all. That's what I think.
>>71729532
DID YOU PUT YOUR NAME IN THE GOBLET MOTHERFUKEE?!!!?!!
It was............
Dumblsdore!
>>71729780
That's hardly our fault
>>71730086
SO?
>>71729488
>>71729534
Go to bed, Stephanie, and stop getting your brother to screen anything negative.
And stop writing rule 63 versions of your books, it doesn't help anything.
>>71731202
>H ehas nothing but ad hom
this shows how stupid you are
>>71730287
her shit teeth and makeup somehow distracted me from her construction paper dress, what the fuck?
>>71729488
Woah, he really settled there didn't he?
>>71729488
Love her music.
>>71731250
An insult isn't an ad hominem, you stupid nigger
>>71729527
It's actually worse.
The furry got utterly mind raped and broken into slavery by a sadistic toddler
>>71732015
Not him, but excuse me?
>>71732709
An ad hominem is using an insult in place of an argument. I.e, ur a faget, ergo you're wrong.
If there's no argument attached to an insult it can't be ad hominem, because you're not attempting to disprove whatever they said; you're just insulting them for saying it.
Team Edward obviously
>>71721636
I couldn't finish the fourth book (yet)
Nothing fucking happens
>>71733167
Nothing happens at all in the 4th book. Its gearing up for a huge vampire battle but then nothing happens.
>LOL JK Guise ;p
>>71733262
>nothing happens
>4th movie adds giant "it was a dream" fight
>>71733262
and 200 pages of Jacob, no thanks.
Midnight Sun is fun though
>>71717881
the wolf was super manlet though
wtf happened to wolf boy? Is this what unemployment looks like?
>>71715737
Taylor looks like a little kid looking up at their parent ashamed.
>>71733414
Dude probably raked in so much he's got cash fo life
Edward
>cold
>vants to sahk ur blahd
>weird and obsessive
>kind of lanky and skinny
>if he makes love to you you might die
>fucks off to Italy to kill himself when he doesn't get his way and gets the Vampire Mafia involved
Jacob
>super warm
>only wants to suck your nipples
>just a cool cool guy, has neat hobbies like building cars
>buff as all DAMN
>if he makes love to you you might cum hard and squirt all over his giant dogknot
>doesn't go to Italy even one time
The choice is clear
>>71733414
>they told me I could be anything I wanted
>so I became Mexican Seth McFarlane
>>71733308
"On August 28, 2008, Meyer halted the writing of Midnight Sun in response to the leak of twelve chapters of the unfinished manuscript on the Internet. She stated, "If I tried to write Midnight Sun now, in my current frame of mind, James would probably win and all the Cullens would die, which wouldn't dovetail too well with the original story. In any case, I feel too sad about what has happened to continue working on Midnight Sun, and so it is on hold indefinitely."[1] She made the twelve-chaptered draft available on her website in fairness to her readers, now that the novel has been compromised before its intended publication date.[4] Meyer also stated that she doesn't believe the manuscript was leaked with any malicious intent, and would not give any names.[1]"
>Women Authors
>>71715737
Team neither, fuck the stupid faggots. Team Van helsing.
>>71733908
>rapidly losing relevance
>fans turned on her during breaking dawn, and later during her throwing tantrums at negative press
>wants some way to get back into the limelight
>has Midnight Sun on standby, the leak of which that fans actually liked
>decides to rerelease the first book with a few pointless additions
Lel
>>71734182
>Could have milked the Twilight universe indefinitely. Made bank off ravenous fanatics and inevitable new readers for the rest of her life.
>We will never hear from Stephanie ever again.
>>71715737
Jacob is a qt
Edward is gross looking. He looks like a fucking creeper.
Daily reminder that
Werewolves=Vampires with Xmen powers>Normal Vampires>Wolves
Robert Pattinson is pretty nice actor tbqh
Shame he is not in more movies
>>71718994
my nigga
>>71734786
I absolutely loved The Rover.
>>71734786
He's also pretty based.
I suppose he's in a Dan Radcliffe situation of having a fuckton of money from his goldmine franchise, so now he can just do whatever the fuck he wants.
>>71721426
>Hide them in the woods
That's fucking retarded. It's their woods. They didn't hide the clothes. I'm pretty sure they tied them to their legs.
>>71734549
>her production company tanked because the mere association with her name was enough to sink a project
>>71715737
Well, Jacob is a pedophile who wanted to fuck an ugly CGI baby so I guess the Mr. Sparkly vampire wins by default.
JUST
