what an absolutely mediocre piece of shit.
Why can't hollywood do these types of movies right?
>DUDE CHRISTIANS ARE CRAZY LMAO
>>71682290
>Anon does not like the taste of Butter
This movie isn't attacking Christianity or Christians, retard.
>>71682290
>this is the average moviegoer
>>71682454
>attacking
I'm saying it's just a very heavy handed gimmick being used, and it has nothing else to offer than LOL CRAZY CHRISTIANS!!
baby scene gave me chills
other than that mediocre movie 6/10
>>71682505
How are the Christians crazy? The witch is clearly real and Satan was haunting the farm as a goat. If anything, the dad was too reluctant to believe in witchcraft for his family's good.
>>71682543
even in the movie, their religion is nonsense, it literally did nothing for them except paint them as crazy people.
>>71682593
It was just portraying Calvinists and Calvinist doctrine. They're not being judged by the director. I seriously don't get where you're getting this.
>>71682593
you sound like you are completely retarded
the movie is about American paranoia.
the most frightening aspect of the movie is that they were ultimately right all along in their fear of the woods. are you a legitimate retard?
Christians are literally one of the biggest groups of retards on Earth
>hollywood
You're an idiot.
>>71682290
Why did you think this opinion deserved a thread?
>>71682659
>this deserved a post and was worth solving captcha for
>>71682290
Watch it again when you're over 25.
It's based on classic folklore stories, which religious people were very superstitious against witches. It's not trying to throw in any kind of anti-religion message.
>>71682290
Nice low iq opinion bud
*smacks lips*
HOL UP
*smacks lips*
SO YOUZ TELLIN ME CHRISTIANS AINT CRAZY?
>>71682693
>>71682628
I'm not saying it's anti-religion. I'm saying it has nothing else than LOL CHRISTIANITY.
just like Seth Rogen films are only DUDE WEED LMAO.
>>71682675
i solve captcha's before i go to bed, i find them soothing and sudoku's are too hard
>>71682505
...you're still not getting it. In refusing to acknowledge the evil forces around them and solve the problem through trust, they themselves became the evil. When only one was left, there was nothing but evil to turn to. It's about human nature, not religious nature. Christianity was only there because of the setting.
How many times did you check your phone while watching this movie? Be honest. It was a pretty straight forward message especially for an indie movie. Without understanding of our fellow man, we kill ourselves.
>>71682758
You sound triggered anon.
Relax, nobody is attacking your jewish religion.
>>71682639
Shut the fuck up, millennial.
>>71682758
It's a modern attempt to recreate the feel of an old fairy tale or folk tale. The history is a backdrop for this because people actually believed in witches back then.
What got you so upset?
how does one live deliciously?
>>71682839
>It's a modern attempt
failed attempt
>>71682758
The dad wasn't my kind of Christian, bud. The parents were fanatical weak assholes.
>>71682290
This wasn't some Stephen King movie. I found it nuanced in its treatment of Christianity.
>/tv/ is actually white knighting for a mediocre movie
plebbit strikes again!
You honestly think run-of-the-mill films like The Conjuring are better than the Witch? At least the Witch tried, had some unique set-ups, and a dynamic family relationship.
>>71683001
>You honestly think run-of-the-mill films like The Conjuring are better than the Witch?
literally no one even remotely said anything like that. are you just gonna make shit up so you can argue against your own made up shit?
>>71682950
This
Fuck that waste of time shit flick
>>71682758
>Hollywood
Is OP genuinely retarded?
>>71683132
pretty sure that part is obvious bait.
>>71683047
All I'm saying is there's a blasting of Hollywood, when The Witch is a relatively small film to The Conjuring which got 40 million more dollars and came up with an even bigger shit.
The Conjuring had tension, characters, and a nice sense of doubt throughout everything. What was so terrible about the Witch other than
>DUDE CHRISTIANS ARE CRAZY LMAO
?
>>71683047
A butthurt Christfag is butthurt and has a persecution complex. What's there to argue against?
I didn't really get that sense from the Witch. I don't think it has anything to do with Christianity, it's just that it makes a great set-up for a witch story, where people's lives are shit and have to rely on God to get through the hard times.
It's not like the Invention of Lying or some shit.
>>71683359
>The Conjuring had tension, characters, and a nice sense of doubt throughout everything.
The Witch had none of that. The characters were laughably over the top, the acting was shit, and there was no tension.
>>71682290
I hate the witch is bad meme.
>>71682290
butthurt christfag detecteted
>>71683512
the witch is indeed a bad meme and nothing else.
>>71682290
shit title
"the v-vitch" hurrr
>>71683646
the writing was shit as well, and the "old english" felt forced and not natural at all how they used it.
I dated a girl whos parents were evangelist preachers, its not DUDE CHRISTIANS ARE CRAZY they really do fucking act like in the vvitch, you are just too secular and cosmopolitan to imagine the reality of deeply religious people.
>DUDE I HAVE 5 EXHENTAI TABS OPEN AND I NEVER GO TO CHURCH BUT IM A CHRISTIAN LMAO
Fucking larpers.
>>71684052
>I met these 2 people
>so I know what I'm talking about
>>71684093
I knew hundred of people like them, they introduced me to them, they exist.
>>71684191
then why did you have to mention your gf's parents? sounds like you're making shit up, anon.
>>71684231
Because they are the reason I got involved with this crazy shit in the first place?
Are you autistic?
>>71684380
>they introduced me to them
I thought you meant the "hundreds of people" introducing you to the family of your (to be) gf.
also:
>I knew hundreds of people
>knowing hundreds of people
no such thing
>>71682290
I thought it was an OK movie>tfw there was no literal witch
>the witch was Thomasin's other persona
>she suffers from multiple personality disorder in a time when men and woman feared everything, and the devil was literally around the corner
>the entire farm was riddled with ergot fungus, which causes hallucinations in people who eat it
>evidenced by the rotten corn, and bread they ate on the farm
>tfw the people only died after Thomasin's perceptions were removed, when her witch persona took over
>she killed the baby, left her brother to die, killed the twins, killed her father, and lashed out at her mother
>tfw she sodomized a goat
>tfw there was no witch's coven in the end, it was just her going out into the wilderness and having her insanity take over
>>71682290
Wew lad, don't look at any of history you might burst a blood vessel.
>>71684850
you just made that shit up
>>71684850
That's the most retarded thing I've ever read
>>71682290
BLACK PHILLIP
BLACK PHILLIP
>>71684975
>>71685037
t. retards who can't understand anything they watch
>>71685068
What is it, pumpkin?
>>71682627
this is patently wrong.
Calvinists didnt leave for the New World
Calvinists WERE the reason Puritans came to the New World
>Calvinism is based upon predetermination
>The founder of this argued that by being a better Christian one could divine where you would go in the afterlife
>People that have an ounce of brainpower realised this just gives you a blankcheck for nihilism
>The Puritans went to America to get away from the sin they believed was corrupting their world in England
This is why you hear them talking about how soon the Apocalypse is coming, and why the Father is like "Dont even trip dawg" when they dont have any food
>>71685111
Just because you overthink something doesn't mean your conclusions are right, you pseudo-intellectual faggot.
The movie is pretty straightforward, and that is what makes it good. Searching for convoluting explanations for very simple things doesn't make you smart, it makes you a tryhard fedora toting neckbeard
>>71683512
>>71683641
I didnt understand where the witch was coming from in the movie, if shes real, why/ how was she like diving down into the barn? Shit was bolted up. How did she sneak in to eat at the goat titties?
>>71684850
This anon gets it
>Ergotism poisoning produces a sensation of floating, much like many hallucinogenic experiences
>Literally every witch looked like Thomasin around the fire and was naked
I agree with anon, she was just tripping balls and seeing herself float upwards in what is considered an out of body experience
As for you guys, youre forgetting all this Ergotism is exactly what caused the Witch Trials in Salem, the very plantation they were from
>>71685470
>How did she sneak in to eat at the goat titties?
how did she steal the kid in 2 seconds?WITCHcraft
>>71682290
You cant deny that monologue by Thomasin's Brother was absolutely GOAT. I got chills throughout that
Also
>The baby scene
>The crow pecking at her mum's tit, and you think its her tripping balls only to see the blood stain in the morning
I wish they had given a background to why they were kicked out of the plantation better. Its all hurr you preach stuff. Yeah, but the Father's beliefs aligned with basically everything that any other Christian would believe in in that timeperiod
just watched it for the third time, what a great movie
I honestly believe that anyone who rates this anything under a 7.5 or uses terms like "too boring" or "I didn't get it" or "DUDE CHRISTIANS", etc. is an actual idiot
>>71685556
it wasnt two seconds, it cuts to like 7 hours later, and Thomasin is unconscious. Either she stole them away, or >>71684850 is right and Thomasin had a psychotic break, brained them in the woods and then went back to bed in the barn
I wish they had delved more into the lore, explained why the devil was bothering them, what would become of Thomasin because desu she has a pretty good ending.
She got the life she desired. Imagine leaving the opalescent city of London, with butter, fancy dresses and balls, gin, and good looking men against your will to live in the fucking Indian infested woods of New England where you eat nothing but corn and wild game all day.
If the Devil is real and she made a pact with him, she has a happy ending, but that is never the case and I felt cheated thats how it ended
>>71685653
>just watched it for the third time, what a great movie
what did your wife's son think about it?
>>71685332
>implying it wasn't because Puritans started the English civil war and subsequently forced their shit religion on everyone
>>71685692
>Implying it wasnt because gin sold 1 TRILLION bottles in England the first 2 years it was invented and caused degeneracy on a scale not since seen by mortal men
I mean Puritans were just /pol/ as an organized religion. Makes sense they ran off
>>71685470
>I didnt understand where the witch was coming from in the movie, if shes real, why/ how was she like diving down into the barn? Shit was bolted up. How did she sneak in to eat at the goat titties?
It's a folk tale anon, why is that so difficult to understand? the witch could change form, we saw her do that (the scene with the Caleb in the forest, where she's a hot mulato chick), he could have entered in the form of a small animal (maybe a rabbit, like the one we saw multiple times throught the movie)
Saying
>its all allucinations, and multiple personality disorders, etc
It's honestly kinda sad, because it means that someone cannot enjoy a simple witch story without overanalyzing it to hell and back.
It's a folk tale anon, inmerse on it. Our modern rational minds have no place on it.
>>71685825
is it actually tho? Im from around the area and I never heard of "THE VVITCH".
I know the Horsemen is a real folktale, but the only true Witch shit I know of is the Trials over ergotism and stupid faggy little girls.
>>71685881
The Witch is basically a visualization of a puritan's nightmare and fear of living alone in the wilderness
>>71682290
The Witch is the ultimate pleb filter.
>>71685962
Which way do you mean this
>>71686070
only plebs and their wife's son, like it.
>>71685881
It is based on a multitude of folkloric sources, along with records of trials, sorry if I wasn't clear, there's no folktale that goes especifically like the movie did.
Things like signing your name on the book of the devil, the devil taking the form of a goat, witches having familiars, making ointments of crushed babies, having covens and flying at night, all those elements are staples of witchcraft stories, specifically those borne out of Protestant enviroments, like Northern Germany, England and, New England.
>believe in sky gandalf
>not crazy
lmao
4/4 movie
>he doesn't want to live deliciously
>>71682290
>DUDE CHRISTIANS ARE CRAZY LMAO
But the Christians in the movie were completely right though
>>71686184
i enjoyed those call backs but I wish they had a more indepth plot like Sleep Hollow.
They extrapolated on the legend. they gave a background, a reason. It didnt have to be a murder mystery, but more closure would have been enjoyed.
Overall, I give a Babadook/10
>>71686399
>Babadook
How is that movie btw? is it good?
What made this movie so good for me was that it all felt real like the viewer was a fly on the wall watching a family being naturalistic to their very being. Spiritually it was fear inducing.
>>71686471
It isnt a scary movie at all if youre watching it with someone
Its genuinely terrifying by yourself in the dark tho, and for good reasons.
It sets you up as the actual main character. The child stresses you out. The music is always playing, people are always screaming. Then the Babadook comes out. And you dont know if hes real.
It was a genuine gem of a horror film because there is not ONE jump scare in the whole thing, and sets all the fright from atmosphere. Definitely worth a view
>80 EIGHTY replies
>No thomasin posting
This is why /tv/ is ded.
>>71686566
Ok, I'll watch it then. Thanks
>>71686578
Are you Canadian
>yfw this thread is going a little too well for your liking
>>71686543
is sponge kill
CALEB!
>>71682505
>heavy handed gimmick
It's about the human desire to conquer the wild and the wild fighting back
keep the fedoras at home kids
>>71688634
Is that why the Joker always wins?
