>be me
>mom's making peanut butter and fluff with the crust cut off for lunch
>tell her to hold the fluff
>complain when I get home from school that she forgot to put fluff on my sandwich, even though we both know I told her not to
She thought she had been safe from my twisted vision! Little did she know...
>be me
>rip tag off of the mattress
>right... off... of... the mattress
My mum can be pretty Joker sometimes.
>mfw she puts peanut butter and vegemite on her toast
>be me
>1997
>watching space jam VHS
>return it to blockbuster without rewinding it
>Break into neighbours house
>Check his trash
>Nice some personal documentsI now know his address
>>71660394
u know blockbuster is ded now rite? U shoud be ahamed
>>71660670
>tfw still have over 200 vhs tapes that I never returned to Blockbuster
>>71660751
>>71660751
>>71660796
Desu I used to travel a lot for work and would hit up the local blockbuster to check out a couple vhs tapes that I had no intention of returning. Great way to build a home kino collection.
>>71660317
>go to movie theater
>it's really crowded, like ten people behind me
>pay for my $15 ticket in quarters and dimes
>nobody even dares to say anything
>>71660839
>When the sub doesn't even come close to matching the lips in the webbum/gif.
You've triggered me. You really ARE like Le Joking Man.
>be me
>buy a fake tub of peanuts
>it actually has spring loaded fake snakes in it
>I offer my mother some peanuts
>she says yes and takes the tub from me
>she cracks the lid to see what she thinks is peanuts
>FRICKING SPRING LOADED SNAKES JUMP OUT
>she thought she was getting peanuts - but it was just another maniacal prank of mine!
>>71661331
>8 year old checking in
>>71661390
You aren't d4m4g3d enough to understand this thread.
>>71660839
>Tumblr buzzfeed gifs with 3 frames where a picture would do.
Fuck off.
>>71661426
>He doesn't know what "oi!" is how they ask where things are in Wales .
>be me
>want to poop
>could just go in the bathroom
>Use my expressions pf pain instead to go home
>get home and post on my brother's open account that his gay
>>71661643
oi mate what the fuck are you on about wanker.
>>71661413
Hm, but who was the one getting played?
>>71660420
It was funnier when it was posted with a picture of TKJ Joker.
Nan gives me some jobs to do over summer, one of them is feeding the chickens
>rooster wakes me up every morning with cockerel call
>decide enough is enough
>wait for the middle of the night and all to be quiet in the chicken coop
>slowly creep up with a menacing grim from cheek to cheek
>slide into the unlocked door to enter the lair of the beast
>approach Miltary style over to the sleeping devil and raise my body to loom over it
>Screech "COCKADOODELLDOO"
>Run out of there with no one none the wiser
>>71662065
Kek'd t. b. h.
>mom asks me to go buy a pack of beers of the brand she likes
>instead I bought a pack of beers of the brand I like
the look on her face...
>>71660420
I chuckled
>>71662169
>Have to get parents permission to watch a 15 film in school (Schindlers List)
>Forge mum's signature
>Continue my education without her permission
DEVELISH
>cross street
>traffic light still yellow for half a second
>a kid might have seen it
