>11:30 at night
>pull into a waffle house
>pretty quiet, few people there
>sit at the bar
>waitress smiles at me
>i half smile back
>"What can I get for you, sir?"
>sit there for what feels like hours
>"Yeah.
>>71617968
I'm exactly like the Driver. I have this mysterious aura.
>"Yeah."
Thats not a proper answer to a multiple choice question
>>71617968
How do people take this movie seriously? I was laughing my ass off the entire time at how ludicrous it was and how autistic the Driver was. It was one of the funniest movies ive seen
>>71618384
Tell that to Ryan Gossamer
I'm the opposite of drive
I talk loudly and say a lot of shit in a short period of time and then I get tongue tied and try to end the conversation
>>71618459
I like you.
>>71618403
.... I drive
>1:30 A.M.
>Driving in my 2006 Toyota Camry
>spot a Wendy's with a 24 hour sign in the window
>scout the location for possible threats and determine the best point of exit in case of an emergency
>walk up to the door
>it's locked
>can see staff stacking chairs inside and mopping
>casually rap a gloved finger across the glass, while looking wistfully off into the distance
>one of the employees tells me they're closed
>stand there silently
>he walks up to the door
>asks me if I'm retarded and tells me he is not going to serve me
>I try to give him my order
>"One spicy chicken sandwhich...baked potatoe....lemona-"
>he unlocks the door and comes outside to tell me to go away
>he threatens to call the cops
>I immediately lunge at him, tackling him to the ground, pull out my hammer and start beating his head in
>"Cops weren't part of the deal."
>manage to crack open his head; other employee, a female behind the counter starts screaming
>force my way inside and attempt to subdue her
>slip on dirty mop water causing my midsection to land perpendicilar on the counter effectively causing my bowels to involuntarily release
>leaving behind a trail of molten primordial shit, dirty mop water, and blood as I chase her
>finally manage to pin her
>"You're going to tell me everything you know. Who set me up?"
>she starts crying, claiming that she doesn't know what I'm talking about and that the money is still in the register
>"Where's Nino? Who sent you?"
>cops surrond the building
>make a hasty exit through my strategic escape route
>gut too large to fit through bathroom window
>attempt to get free by expelling any remaining contents in my bowels
>cops storm the bathroom but end up slipping over the fiery liquid shit
>enraged, the cops rip me from the window and start pistol whipping me, breaking both my legs and spine
>found guilty at trial, sentenced to death for killing two people (one of the cops had an open cut and died from a fecal related infection)
>I Drive
>>71619210
wendys bathrooms dont have windows.
>>71619317
Only someone who regularly dines or works at Wendy's would know something like that. Neither case paints a pretty picture of yourself, so unless you're like an architect who designed them you better have a great fucking explanation for knowing that
>>71619317
Yeah, because everything else about his story was so legit.
>>71619551
topkek
>>71619210
>24 hour
>closed
I mean, it's a joke thread and all, but is Wendy's really this shite?
>>71619876
It's 24 hours in the sense that it stays open past 12 a.m. with like two people working. Almost guranteed that they just take your order out of the fridge and put it in a microwave
>>71618403
Its offness is one of the things that's so great about it.
>>71619317
You figured him out
>get home after a long day riding around on the train, staring intensely at cute girls
>take off my scorpion jacket and throw it onto my bedroom floor
>notice how worn the fabric is
>it's covered in rips and brown stains and still reeks of the time I spilled one of my piss jars on it
>pick up the jacket and inhale deeply
>remember all the great times I've had wearing the jacket
>put it back on, one last time
>one final drive
>stride coolly out of my room
>travel up the corridor
>step into my mother's room to ask her to drive me to the shops so she can buy me another polo shirt to draw a scorpion on the back of
>my mother is on the bed, four fingers plunging furiously in and out of her quivering vagina
>she's shocked but too close to cumming to stop
>about to back out but the jacket infuses me with the spirit of the driver
>leap onto the bed and whip out my phimosis encrusted dick
>stab at my mothers engorged labia, ejaculating dark grey semen all over her hand
>collapse on top of her, whimpering "I... Drive"
>take the jacket off my face
>I'm actually lying in a gutter
>covered in shit and garbage
>my mom kicked me out six months ago due to my NEET lifestyle
>pop the collar on my crusty scorpion drive polo
>point my fingers to the stars like a gun
>fire the gun and bring my finger to my lips and blow
>"See you, space cowboy..."
>tense my bowels as hard as I can and shit hot spicy diarrhoea down my legs for warmth as I roll over for the night
>it's going to be a long winter
>>71618459
I hate you
>>71617968
>go to job interview
>interviewer asks what my hobbies are
>stare in silence
>only sound is the clock ticking
>five minutes pass
>"well, if there isn't anything else, I gue--"
>"I drive."
>instantly hired
>A REAL HUMAN BEAN
>silently crushing in my 2003 Honda Pilot at 2:00am
>as I'm driving, notice a bunch of blacks running from a police cruiser down the road
>quickly pull over in front of them
> roll window down window
>manually
>"Aye yo muthafucka, the fuck you doin son?!"
>stare at the black intensely for about 30 seconds as the sirens get louder
>"get in"
>The black and his friends all pile in
>"aye yo man, you better step on this shit! They gaining man!"
> I drive slowly down the road and parralel park between two mini coopers
>black guys are all nervous and yelling at me now
>"aye motha FUCKA! They gone see us here man! You gotta fucking Go son! man why did you stop in the first place?! You fucking cracka ass, in oughta-"
>I turn around and interrupt him
>"why don't you shut up before I kick your fucking teeth in!"
> pistol whips me in the back of the head as hard as he can
> throws me out of the driver side door
>bleeding badly as he drives
>cops speed up to me and taze me while I'm in the ground
> pick me up and throw me in back off cruiser
>"what the hell where you doing son?!"
>"...I drive" I mutter as quietly as I can
>"what?!"
>" I -I said I Dr-Drive!"
>cop shakes his head in disbelief
>smirk to myself
>a real human bean
>>71618459
I'm indifferent to you
>>71619903
Not Wendy's, but as someone who used to be a manager at a 24-hour McDonald's, everything was cooked fresh to order after about 1 a.m.
>sit in my car, 2004 Mitsubishi Lancer
>phone beeps
>it's uber
>Dave Walters needs a ride at 145 Evers Street
>I drive.
>>71617968
>11.30 at night
>driving along the lonely road.
>red and blue lights, somebody waving me over
>pull up on the side, a man approaches
>"Sir, I need you to blow into this"
>Only wearing underwear at the time
>Blowing a guy in my underwear, didn't think it would happen like this.
>Fail to blow hard enough
>Try to blow again and again
>Satisfied the guy leaves without so much as a Thank You.
>Roll up my window and pull away
>I wonder if the guy saw me in my boxers
>Got away with it.
>>71618459
.................ok
>>71618459
>>71619631
It's just a funny green text, fag. God damn what happened to this board?
>>71621555
Why not just go to the shower, pepe?
>Amusement park arrived in my town.
>Bumper cars was my favourite attraction
>This one girl kept bumping into me
>Decide to fight back. Use the u turns and drifting I learned from nfs to scare her.
>A clerk strictly asks me to stop.
>I look him in the eyes and with an expressionless face announce, I Drive.
>>71619551
Don't take pride in being ignorant
>>71617968
>taking care of a Latino guy's son and wife
Was he a cuck?
>>71622608
yup
>>71617968
>driver posting
what is this 2013? top cuck grandpa
>waffle house
shit, now I want some empty carbs
>>71617968
>2013+3
>mom calls me
>can you drive me to the mall
>...
>yeah
>drive her to the mall
>drive her back home
>fin
>visit driver thread on /tv/
>...
>non of the green texts are remotely entertaining.
>>71625734
How old were you when you realized this was a really shitty, pointless way to spend your time?
>>71623809
Kys
>>71621039
This desu.
>Be Uber driver
>Get into 2011 Jetta with no options
>Go Online
>Get Job, Mary at 63 Boatshore
>Go there
>Wait for 10 minutes
>Mary gets in
>"Hi I'm Mary"
>"I drive"
>Begin driving
>Careful to turn and brake softly to no agitate passenger
>She asks, "Can we take Lakeshore?"
>"I drive"
>Lakeshore is jammed
>Finally get there
>We get there, she says "Here's okay, thanks!"
>"I drive"
>made barely over minimum wage after gas
>Go find a Starbucks to piss
