>you have all the knowledge up to the current season of GoT.
>you are teleported to their world at the beginning of the season
whom do you tell all you know?
>>71501519
Of this season? Bran.
>>71501519
Cersie.
>>71501571
you're teleported to the beginning of the series. sorry, typo.
Ramsey. Maybe I could save his poor soul.
Tell Robert Cersei is planning on killing him, tell Cat to not kidnap Tyrion, tell Sansa that Joffery is horrible (not that she'd listen) tell EVERYONE not to trust littlefinger, and tell Robb to not agree to marry the Frey girl, also don't put Jaime in a tiny cage with one guard.
>>71501519
I would tell Arya and Sansa to do less partying and drugs so they can grow to be as beautiful as everyone thought they would
>>71501723
Oh. And also tell Theon that the Starks love him more than his father ever will.
>>71501519
I tell Tywin everything except for Tyrion killing him.
>>71501652
Oh...Then Ned Stark. Tell him that the White Walkers have returned, Littlefinger killed Jon Arryn, lock Bran in his room until the Lannisters stop fucking, then amass all of his forces and bring Bran North to the three eyed raven start working out a plan.
Stannis
>>71501519
Someone who would actually believe me. I'd probably just tell Cercei to keep a tight lash on Joffrey. This way Ned doesn't get killed and the civil war doesn't start at all.
hm, I would just try and figure out a way to become stupidly rich, maybe murder illryo in his home before he gives dany the dragon eggs and sell them for a small fortune then live comfortable in some country estate in the reach with whores and booze and milk of the poppy a plenty
>>71501772
>tfw Theon breaks down in the gods wood and admits to himself he just wanted to be a Stark and that his real father died on the steps of baelors sept
Would Bran have awoken without being dropped off the roof though?
I'd tell fucking Bran to stop climbing
Varys. He'd know what to do with the information.
>>71501977
I don't think his powers have anything to do with the fall, but I think that in the grand scheme of things it needed to happen in order to get him North of the Wall. If Bran had never fallen, Joffrey would never have hired the assassin which made Catelyn suspect the Lannisters, and had she never captured Tyrion, the Lannisters would have never attacked Ned, and Robb would not have rallied the Northmen to march on King's Landing, which means he might not have been crowned King escalating things into an all out civil war, and then the Bolton's would have never sacked Winterfell giving Bran the opportunity to seek out the three eyed raven without interference.
The other Stark children, in the books anyway, display similar abilities as Bran. I think Bran just happens to be the most powerful, either genetically or because he has actually effectively honed his abilities.
>>71502028
Worked so well when Catelyn did it. I'm sure he'd listen to a complete stranger over his own mother.
>>71501519
Tell Viserys to kil dany.
>>71501519
Use my knowledge to find a way to fuck Margaery.
I'm a simple man.
>all these people wanting to talk to high lords and kings
>implying they would listen to anything a crazy stranger would say
>>71502799
Well, being teleported back in this sort of timeframe, the knowledge you know, though basic, is basically scholarly to what they have. Therefore, rising to power couldn't be that difficult. Become powerful, become ally.
>>71501519
Tell no one and kill myself for transporting to such a shitty show
>>71502262
joff didn't hire the assassin, jaime did
>>71501571
Hodor
>>71502919
Fuck that, use your knowledge to make guns cannons, and cruisers. Blow them and their fuckin dragons sky high
>>71503063
What about CIA?
>>71503147
>implying any of the schmucks on this board know how to build a cruiser
>>71502799
desu senpai I think most lords would probably come talk to the guy whos in strange clothing and speaking of the future, especially if you tell them shit only they would know
>>71503249
Fuck it.
Row Galleys with shittons of muskets cannon.
>I bet the Others die good to a few hundred pounds of lead.
>>71501519
Robert, the heads would fucking roll
>>71503147
>>71503199
>>71503388
Okay, hold on. Before using my knowledge to sway lords/kings and fuck Margaery, I'd invest all of my money in gold. Then, I'd go. Maybe make a gun. Regardless, endgame is sleeping on a bed of roses.
>Margaery's PussPuss
>>71503496
>implying anyone on this board knows where to mine the ingredients for gunpowder or even what those are and in what proportions
>>71501519
I'd let whoever know everything provided they give me arya, sansa, smirkfu and my own lordship + gold.
>>71501519
I'd just tell king Robert not to go hunt that animal so it doesn't kill him. And they all lived happy. the end.
>>71501519
I'd have to get people to believe me first of all.
So I'd tell someone high up enough that they'd learn stuff, but either not enough power to do much or they just wouldn't care enough. While also being mindful that if I change too much, then my knowledge of shit that would happen in 5 years, is useless
I'm headed to Oldtown to the Hightowers, might get a hightower babe out of being a fucking seer.
Get that Mad Maid pussy
>>71502084
/thread
>>71503672
nitrate, charcoal, sulfure.
Nitrate is easy to make. Just get a lot of shit and piss and let it sit for a few months.
Ned Stark is the only choice here. The rest would eventually kill you so their secrets don't leak.
>>71503063
No he didn't.
>>71503839
You can also gain Ned's trust by telling him the secret about Jon. That'll make everything else you tell him believable.
Only issue is that if you stop Ned's death, all your information quickly becomes outdated beyond what you know about the character's personalities. I guess Cersei's children are all still fated to die though and the White Walkers are still a problem, but you're left with little practical info.
>>71502084
this
>>71501519
>timetravelparadox.bmp
Tell Ned Stark Littlefinger will betray him
If Miraculously Ned Stark believes you, he doesn't trust him, tries to arrange things differently
If miraculously it works fine, LF is still in the game doing other shit, Ned Stark thinks you were full of shit and start trusting LF again.
>>71501519
I'd invent guns and sell them to rob.
>>71501877
This ser gets it.
I would add that we kidnap prime Arya and double team her until her mind breaks
>>71503959
>Only issue is that if you stop Ned's death, all your information quickly becomes outdated beyond what you know about the character's personalities.
that's why you arrange to get rid of everyone who's personalities are threatening.
I mean if you arrange for Davos to be hand of (whatever king) yeah maybe the events changing will bring him to be a traitor and stab the king to steal his crown.
That will happen about 0.00000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000001% of the time.
Rest of the time, he'll be loyal and a good person and all that.
You keep all the Davos around, and you get rid of the Cersei and Littlefinger and Roose and all that crap who are unpredictable and/or evil and/or cold calculator.
>>71504071
>prime Arya
S1? Or S2?
Both have + and -
>>71502084
This. Or try to contact the three eyed raven or something like that. Also, seems dorne would be the best place to live in during the series.
>>71501519
Maybe leave out a couple of plot points from this last episode.
Maybe.
>>71501864
Patrician answer
>>71501519
Tell Stannis to ignore Renly from the start and go straight north. Big bloody battles will be avoided and Stannis will be remembered as the man with the greatest foresight in the kingdoms.
>stand near Ned overwatching Jon
>"It's a pity Robert would have killed him"
>see his expression
Who's the most likely to believe raving lunatic spouting doom and gloom?
I think dressing up in rags and shouting prophecies is my only hope to be taken seriously at all. I mean, some nobody can't just walk up to a lord and start giving advices.
>>71501864
>the civil war doesn't start at all.
>LF scheming
>Doran scheming
>Illyrio/Varys scheming
>Dany raising her army
>Euron making a move at some point
>I'd probably just tell Cercei to keep a tight lash on Joffrey
That's like giving an umbrella to someone about to receive a nuclear warhead in the face.
Joffrey doesn't change anything.
I'm going to Roose. He can kill his faggot bastard and bring the north together to stop the Others. KING IN DA NORF!
>>71504256
Thats exactly how he is in the books
>>71504345
If Robert stays alive though he'll probably follow through on assassinating Dany
>>71501519
If we are at the very begging with Jon Arryn's funeral, I light the Wildfire under Sept and kill the fucking Lannisters then and there.
>>71504592
>kill all the good lannister
>let tyrion live
>>71504319
So should we tell him about his aunt and uncle alive?
>>71502084
>telling Blackfyre fucking shits anything
u dun goofed nigga
I'd pretend to be a mindless half-giant (since a 6"3, cut, rigid physique would be abnormal in medieval times) who can only shout Hodor. After I have diligently gained the Starks' trust I reveal everything in a practiced and recited lyrical poem of fanciful whimsy detailing the past and present future of the Seven Kingdoms.
I'd tell Bran so he doesn't get crippled and my little lord can run around all cute still.
He'll then prob tell his dad 'cause he's a good boy. Then I'll cuddle him forever.
Team up with Tywin Lannister.
Almost nobody in this universe would hear us out save for Varys and that's only if we managed to say the right things to even get an audience with him. In almost all scenarios we, the random nobodies we are, get drawn and quartered sooner than we get heard.
>>71504709
>6'3
>half-giant
Top kek but no.
Robert and his brothers alone are around like 6'6 and they don't claim any giant blood.
Gotta be over 7 feet tall to be considered even part giant
Rescuing Shireen is my only priority
>>71504860
If prostitutes can get an audience with LF, I'm sure I could bump into him. Team up with bro LF and all will be well.
>>71503672
You dont need to invent gunpowder, they already have explosives, cersei blewed the septer with them.
>>71505049
>using wildfire instead of gunpowder
That'd be pretty dope, desu.
Ned Stark is the only acceptable answer.
Literally the only trustworthy character
Are there drugs in Westeros? I'd become a drug kingpin. Iron Islanders would make for a good posse I think.
>>71504860
Can't you cunts enjoy anything for once.
>>71501519
Cersei.
Why would you pic otherwise?
>>71504592
I wonder how Tyrion would react to this. Would he be relieved or pissed off? Would he go nuclear?
ygritte. We would murder jon snow immediately and go join up with dragon lady cause she has all the power. Then we would make babies.
I would share all my knowledge to the summer islanders, and then with our superior technology conquer Westeros.
>>71504709
>since a 6"3, cut, rigid physique would be abnormal in medieval times
>the Mountain
>the Hound
>the Umbers
>Robert
>Tormund
all of those guys and more would dwarf you. Theres common off hand descriptions of knights and soldiers who are big strapping fellas. you'd hardly be abnormal, but i have to wonder why you'd lie so brazenly on the internet?
>>71501519
The Night King. get this horseshit show over in 1 season and be done with it
>>71505301
>Robert
5'9
>Tormund
5'11
>Umbers
Around 6'
>>71505301
Martin is clearly exaggerating for the benefit of the reader audience. In medieval times a feller such as I would be abnormally large. Giants and the Cleganes and such would be basically impossible.
Ned is both the most likely to hear me out and one of the few that I'd have some way of proving my knowledge to, so him basically by default.
Ideally though I'd want this >>71503684
>>71501519
Probably team up with the Starks or Stannis since they are the only ones who won't kill me after I tell them everything.
After that I'd try to get a comfy job as an architect for one of noble houses, I'm sure any king or lord would appreciate someone with experience in civil engineering
>>71501519
>tell Ned about Littlefinger and all his scheming
>tell Ned why Jon Arryn really died
>tell him to only tell Robert and Stannis
>tell him that he should make his move when Robert comes to ask him to be Hand of the King
>tell him about all of Varys Blackfyre fuckery as well
>>71505356
>fantasy
sorry bro, you're full of shit on both accounts
>>71505354
>going by who the show cast
>>71503684
All I'd require from Ned Stark is a comfy holdfast, some lands on which to hunt and pelt and a nice northern lass
>>71505459
it's no longer fantasy if I'm in that world, it's reality, which means it must abide by rules
wtf happened to arya? she was so qt.
>>71505459
>going by who the show cast
Are you literally retarded? The thread specified "current season" and "GoT," so yes going by who the show cast is relevant.
>>71501778
some random dude comes up to ned stark dressed in weird clothes and tells him this shit he'll probably have you executed.
>>71503063
Book Joff hired him. The show doesn't look like it will ever reveal this so it seems to suggest it was Jaimie in the show
I would try to warn King Robert that The Mountain is a shapeshifting skinchanger not to be trusted.
Ally with the Lannisters and only give them minor information that doesn't compromise the book plot (i.e a decisive early victory over Robb, negating the need for a Red Wedding). If you knowledge only comes from books, you should try to keep things as close to the books as possible, lest you outlive your usefulness.
After the Lannister victory in the War of Five Kings, with your credibility established, warn Cercei and Qyburn about the danger the Faith poses to Tommen. Knowledge of the Dany plot line should allow you to be s capable advisor during the Targ invasion.
>>71505301
lol why do you think he's lying man
>>71505668
but why would you even want the targ invasion to happen?
even then at that point you're at the whims of a maniacal cersei
there's no point to what you're doing, if you just want to use the info to live an easy life there's easier ways to do that
>>71505577
The point stands that a guy who is 6' 3" and jacked is hardly an abnormality or "half giant" in the fantasy world of GoT
>>71505736
lol why would you just believe someone on the internet who brings up something unprovoked for no reason? what does his height or physique have anything to do with the conversation and why should anyone care?
>>71501723
>>71501772
I assume you would have to tell Varys or little Finger first so you can use their teleportation device
>>71505808
Look up a guy called John Cena. I've been told I look like his taller, retarded twin. Imagine that hulking around Westeros.
>>71501519
Head straight for the Mormont lands to become an advisor to Lyanna and try to recall Jorah before he gets cucked to death
Are we to assume Westeros speaks modern English?
>>71505740
There's no real way to prevent the Targ invasion early on without compromising the timeline.
Most of Cercei's erratic behaviors come from seeing her plans go to shit. With your knowledge you can save all of her children.
Yes, there are other ways to profit off of your advanced knowledge, but only this one allows you to repeatedly benefit from your foresight without permanently altering the timeline, rendering your knowledge useless. You'd basically be guaranteed lordship/wealth.
Pretty obvious who you tell. You dress all in red carry a torch around at all times and tell Stannis wife. Wait for Robert to die and immediately have Stannis send men out to search for Dany before she gets to Qarth. Let Stannis play out what happens in the storm lands but warn him about Tywin and Tyrions wildfire. Unstoppable King who will also defend the wall. Best part is you wouldn't have to warn him about Varys and Littlefinger because he would kill them anyway
>>71505808
its not really about 'just believing' someone on the internet, it's about being so insecure you have to assume someone is lying about being tall with pretty much zero precedent.
like it wouldn't even add much to the conversation if he was lying about his height, because his observations about being a large individual in a mostly starving medieval world are still legitimate.
Pose as a northern commoner at winterfell until Bran is pushed from the tower. Tell the Starks that I saw Jaime Lannister push Bran because he and Cersei were fucking. Probably the only believable way to tell Ned about the incest where he could do something about it. Probably couldn't tell Robert because he's the king, so Ned would probably do the same thing he does in the show (warn Cersei)
>>71505916
>There's no real way to prevent the Targ invasion early on without compromising the timeline.
So? I thought we were doing this for a laugh
>not playing the Game of Thrones and spinning Ned, Littlefinger, Varys, Cersei, Robert, and Tywin off of each other
>not playing to each of their weaknesses in order to maximize the damage of the War of the Five Kings
>not pushing Joffrey, Cersei and Littlefinger along to be their worst selves
>>71505578
"I know what Lyanna told you that day!"
"Wait...let me talk to this man"
"Please hear me out. I know things...etc etc."
>>71506083
Promise me Ned
ned takes his vows seriously, he'd probably kill a commoner who knew about Jon's parentage. He can't trust that commoner (you) to not leak that info to others.
>>71506137
you're obviously not a commoner tho
you're wearing clothes made with some artistry that it literally would not have been recreatable in their time
that alone will set you apart
>>71505849
>I look like his taller, retarded twin
now this I can believe
>>71505951
why are you so frustrated that im doubting this anons claims that he is 6' 3" with a rigid cut figure? are you white knighting some jacked dude right now? does it infuriate you when people don't believe your claims when you say you're 6' 6" and only 230 lbs?
>>71506178
i never said i was frustrated, anon
i just found it funny that someone posted about their physique and you bust in like "actually you're probably lying about that"
like it just seems so weird dude
>>71506169
>>71506137
Oh for fucks sake. There's a massive work around. It took a month for Robert to reach Winterfell after Ned learned of Jon Arryns death. All you have to do is get an audience with Ned during that time and say "I know the secret Jon Arryn was killed for. He sent me in secret to warn you' Then you can tell him anything you want
>>71501519
Straight to the north. Find Ygritte to taste that wild pussy.
>>71506297
if you're a representative of Arryn, then why don't you carry his official seal?
>>71503685
>Robert's death was a freak accident
The Cersei planned it. The Lannisters would have killed him some other way.
>>71506350
Because if later his official seal were found to be missing, people would be suspicious. His wife is rightful lady of the Vale unfortunately, and she must have it.
Also, if you were searched by royal (Lannister) guards - because of your strange appearance no doubt - they'd have found the seal of Arryn and taken you in for questioning.
>try to get to Varys or Baelish
>sell them secrets one at a time
>enjoy 10/10 sluts while those power hungry faggots kill each other for the throne
pic related, the sort of shit you can buy with mad dosh
>>71501519
>>71501778
>>71505578
>>71506083
/thread
With all the information we have currently even Ned could come out on top.
>>71506400
They already were going to try and kill him in the melee at the tournament, but Ned talked him down from competing.
>>71501519
>that qt maisie
What the hell happened?
>>71506229
What is this your first day here or something? You don't just take people at face value on a cantonese noodle house forum because they said so
>>71506505
but like, ignoring that someone has literally no reason to lie to you about their body type here
it doesn't really add anything to the conversation
like that dude coulda been a short fat midgety type dude and what he said about being a tall guy in a medieval world would still apply
it just seems so strange for you to bust in and try and convince everyone this one dude is lying when no one really cares and are just talking about the subject at hand
>>71505577
Fine then. Charles Dance (Tywin) is 6'3. No one ever thought Tywin was a fucking giant you idiot
I don't care if you're 8 feet tall and people did think you were a giant, your post was shitty
>>71506418
Im not black
>>71505997
>>71506421
>pitting the schemers and plotters and players against each other by feeding them one juicy morsel at a time
>kick back and enjoy the fruits of your labor while Littlefinger, Varys, Cersei, Tywin, Tyrion and all the rest squabble and murder each other
>enjoy fine ass sluts and jugs of Arbor gold while the realm crumbles and burns
>>71506477
OYSTERS CLAMS AND KEKOLDS
>>71504323
>Raving lunatic spouting doom and gloom
These people fucking love prophecies. Just team up with a bard to rewrite the story of the first few episodes. They will ignore your words until they ring true and then you can have them eating out of your hands, telling of past conspiracies and the immediate future. Shit will get pretty fucky after that, so you might want to secure lands, waifus, wealth, etc., right before the world changes.
I'd take a pair of Walkie Talkies back with me and hide one in the mouth of Neds Heart tree while I hide up in the branches. Tell him everything that way. It's fool proof!
>>71506548
I also said in the same post I would pretend to be a retarded half giant for years
>>71506453
That's what I'm saying. Telling Robert not to go hunting wouldn't save him. Unless it gave him a chance to talk to Ned. But that's a pretty roundabout way to maybe save his life
>>71501519
Stannis and Tywin. Convince Tywin that Cersei and Joffrey are shitheads, convince Stannis that if he's rough-headed he'll end up beheaded at Winterfell and that he should marry Shireen to Tommen so the heir is a true Baratheon.
If Stannis and Tywin worked together, Dany, the North, Dorne, everyone is fucked and Westeros overall stays stable. I'd probably talk to Melisandre first though, to convince Stannis I'm the real deal and not get fucking burned for seeming like Lannister sympathizer.
>>71506548
are you actually offended or something? he cant let it go you cant let it go, just kill yourselves. I'm 6' 5" bearmode ill eat both of you for breakfast and shit you out by lunch time.
>>71506756
Stannis would never stop being stubborn, that's his entire personality. He's bold and uncompromising. His words are "Ours Is the Fury", not "Let's Hold Hands and Share"
>>71506756
Wow. Let me be the first to tell you that that is a horrible, horrible plan
>>71501519
Either Ned or Robert. If Ned truly knew what was going to happen he would be the best person to do the right thing. He underestimated his rivals and by the time he realized that King's Landing was giant deathtrap it was too late. Tell him what will happen and he's a force to be reckoned with.
But I think I'd choose Robert. If you can get him to listen to reason, he's in the best position and has the most power to actually do something about things. Also, Robert is cruel enough to give the Lannisters the genocide they deserve
>>71506756
>Convince Tywin "muh family, muh legacy" Lannister to give up on his eldest child and his grandson the King to support the brother of a usurper in fighting against a threat you can't prove is real
right
I tellLancel where to find the breastplate stretcher
>>71506842
>>71506847
>>71506935
Out of the deal, he'd get to burn Joffrey and Cersei. Tommen isn't recognised as a Baratheon but a Lannister and Stannis gets to sit on the throne.
The last anon is right that I'd probably have an easier time to convince Stannis (via Melisandre saying I'm a R'hllor priest a higher level than her) than I would Tywin.
Also Tywin did give up on Joffrey. He saw him as a fucking insane Aerys-tier retard and you can tell he preferred the more meek Tommen that he could shape into a good King. The real problem is convincing him to give up on Cersei. She didn't really go full retard until after Tywin died and I'd have no proof.
>>71506756
Wow. There are some pretty dumb answers in this thread but damn...that would NEVER work. That 6'3 manlet (everyone knows 6'5 is the cut off) has a better chance of convincing people that he's a half giant even though he'd be the same height as Brienne
>>71506800
*teleports behind you*
BACK THE FUCK OFF?!
I give CIA the flightplan
>>71507088
>he'd get to burn Joffrey and Cersei.
oh yeah, that makes sense. I'm sure Tywin would be fine with that, he doesn't care much about "family" or stuff like that anyway. And I'm sure Jaime wouldn't have an issue with you burning his son/king, and his sister/lover.
Not to mention
>Tommen isn't recognised as a Baratheon but a Lannister
This disqualifies his claim to the throne, makes Cersei and Jaime's incest obvious to the world, disgraces the Lannister name, and probably causes another civil war.
>and Stannis gets to sit on the throne.
You think people will just roll over and accept that, let alone Tywin? Why would Tywin let Stannis, a strong and stubborn warrior, become king, when Tywin could instead let Joffrey be king? He may be nuts but he's still a child, and Tywin knows he can control him - and the same goes for Tommen even moreso.
Basically your "deal" makes no sense.
>Hey Stannis, you hate the Lannisters, right? Why don't you ally with the head of their family, then? There's no need to fight, I know how much you hate war. By the way you have to do what I say because I'm a Grand Wizard of the Lord of Light.
>Wait why are you tying me to a stake, what's going on?
>Hey Tywin, you value your legacy above everything else, right? Why not tarnish your family's name, remove them from the throne, and install someone you have no control over? Oh by the way your kids are fucking. Oh and a word of advice, never a shit without platemail on!
>Wait why are you throwing me out, I'm a time traveler dude just listen to me
>>71507357
Just tell Stannis that Cersei's children are all cursed to die. Assuming he for some reason believes you, he can just ally with the Lannisters and then become King after that all happens.
>>71507357
I agree on Tywin. Even if I gave him concrete proof on the incest, he'd probably disregard it even if I became his n1 friend or some shit like that. You can tell he suspected the incest and probably even knew about it himself, but he really, really didn't want to believe it. The guy denied that his Jaime and Cersei could never do anything wrong so convincing him is most likely impossible as you said. Tell him that Tyrion is gonna shoot him eventually though? Doubt I'll need any convincing on that.
As for Stannis, even if he's pure iron as >>71507415 said he's way, way more easy to convince than Tywin. He's been very influenced by the people around him like Melisandre, Davos, etc. If I somehow got Melisandre on my side, then Stannis is pretty much set. Stannis won't listen to gold or power, but he'll listen to someone thats proven that can predict the future as shown with Melisandre. I don't think there's anything I can do to Tywin to convince him Cersei is retarded until she actually does something, and she won't if he's alive.
>>71506800
just seems weird dude
>the actor for Arthur Dayne is 6"0
lmao at this manlet
at 6"5 230 I'd grab him by the neck and snap his neck instantly with whirlwind force, using my superior calves to dash to him before his nervous system can even send a signal to unsheath his word
>>71507357
>>71507527
If you want a Lannister-Stannis alliance it might be easier to just act like CIA/Varys and play both sides, have Stannis do everything he did up to attacking Winterfell. Then let the events in King's Landing unfold but pay off some Gold Cloaks to confine Kevan and Mace to their chambers. Stannis despises Mace but Kevan would probably align with him over Cersei who just blew up the Sept, killed his son and drove the King to suicide.
Also nah it wasn't a requirement for Kevan and Mace to be there. Tommen was supposed to be there but the trial for Loras went on without him.
Probably earn Dany's trust by informing her of small portions of what's to come (her meeting Drogo, him conquering sheep herders, her stallion being named Silver, etc...) and then once she believes me to be the time-traveller that I am, I'll start fucking her:
>are you sure that I'm meant to eat your shit anon?
>yeah yeah that's how you awaken the dragon
>uh sure but why do you want me to choke on Silver's horsedick?
>oh that's also part of the ritual heh
>whatever, but are you sure about the part about me having to cut off my legs?
>yeah like I said, also part of the ritual to hatch the eggs
Would be fun. Then I'd bro up with Viserys and we'd doubletap his sis. Then I make him ruler of Westeros.
>>71507840
fucking with her*
;~;
>>71507870
delete this
>>71507911
Why though? We mustn't be rude now. 4chan harbors more love and harmony than the remainder of the interwebs combined so let's stay true to that.
>>71501519
I'd distract Jorah long enough to let Viserys escape with the dragon eggs, and I'd warn Tywin (not Joffrey himself, he wouldn't listen) about the assassination at the wedding.
You're welcome.
Talk to Ned and Renly about what's to come, posing as a prophet or something. Get them to rally behind Stannis, Renly might be foolish but he's not stupid not to listen to me after what I said.
Stannis gets to be king with the support of the North, the Stormlands and the Reach, clean up King's Landing and start to unfuck the realm. Littlefinger and Varys either flee or get killed, Barristan stays in the kingsguard as there's no need to make room, and he doesn't save Dany in time from the assassination attempt. Try to convince Stannis to let the Lannisters go home and keep one or two of Cersei's as hostages. Put Tyrion on the small council and let Jaime in the kingsguard, in exchange for the head of the Mountain for Dorne.
Since Stannis is barren he'll bee succeeded by Renly, who by then probably has had a kid with Margaery, or a pretend kid in one of Robert's younger bastard.
Voila.
>>71502339
>>71501519
Is that from the actual show?
>>71501519
>install bouncy castles outside of the Red Keep
>explain the concept of zigzags to Rickon
Shoot up the throne room when all or most of the main Lannisters are there while yelling ALLAHU AKBAR
