What's the best way for me to pass the penis inspection at my local theater? I already failed twice and if I fail again I won't be able to buy crab legs.
>>71498259
chub up in the showers first. What the fuck you think those showers are there for you pleb?
>>71498259
You got that far? I can't even get through the doors with their singles policy.
>actually paying for a cinema viewing permit and entering through the main vestibule, and submitting yourself to a mandatory penis inspection
just sneak in through the narthex you gay faggot
>>71498259
cross-dress and tell them you have a vagina
if they press you, confess it's a penis, but smooth things over by assuring them it's quite feminine
>>71498477
I brought my theater falcon. Make sure buy falcon armor so that the local theater shooter doesn't shoot him.
>>71498259
Hide in the enterence that looks like a massive vagina. When the paid mercenaries go away you can sneak in, but remember to show your long-form birth certificate at the concessions.
>>71498259
Get one of those things that people use in kitchens for their sinks thati s made of metal and wash it off really well with that. Then wash it regularly. Exfoliate it as well.
The foreskin and head require a lot of treatment with some cotton balls and a cuetip. Wash it really well.
Then wash it normally as a regunlar one.
This should let you through.
if you have a chastity belt you can show it to them with a signed note from your gf saying you're out while shes with jerome
only problem is they make you sit in the cuck seat
>>71498259
>dumb frogposter
check
>penis inspection poster
check
>>71498259
Bribe the inspector with a fruit basket
>>71498259
Just take your mom with you (don't worry she is not seeing the movie with you ) when you get to the inspector with the massive flashlight just tell him your mom is single. they go to the car and wait till the movie lets out. easy answer
>>71498259
Get your foreskin removed.
>went to the penis inspection booth
>the nurse was so impressed by my extreme girth that she blew me right then and there
>>71498503
> tfw tried going as trans but failed the polygraph
>>71498498
>just sneak in through the narthex
Not OP, but the last time I tried that I got caught and they made me walk naked all the way to the main citadel while all the females in the theaters pointed and laughed at my penis.
>>71499867
rookie mistake dude. gotta go full black face robert downy jr style and they just wave you through/
New friend here, what is the point of this meme?
>>71498259
don't listen to these fruits chummo.
If you REALLY want to pass penis inspection, what you have to do is get some ghost pepper powder, and a funnel.
mix the powder with an equal volume of water, and then, with the funnel inserted into your urethra, let the water flow into you. After that, get a rubber band, and tie your foreskin tight with it (If you're Jewish or American, you'll have to settle with wrapping it just behind the head of your penis)
Leave it like that a full hour before going to the theatre, and then urinate it out before going into inspection.
Some fore warning, this is going to burn like nothing you've ever felt before. You'll likely want to rip off your penis, but if you manage to survive that hour of wanting to chop your penis off with a hatchet, you'll have a penis so long, so hard, so absolutely mamoth, that the Chad who does penis inspections will have no choice but to add you to the thundercock registry. Once you're on there you'll never have to let them inspect you again. The guys will usually just wave you past, and some of them will even offer to service you before the movie begins.
I did it way back in '07, and I've never had another problem with any of the cuckold police forces in my province.
