![vince-vaughn-plays-a-convincing-bad-guy-in-true-detective-season-2[1].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/OmxmLOL.jpg "vince-vaughn-plays-a-convincing-bad-guy-in-true-detective-season-2[1].jpg")
You know what Ray? They say the apple doesn't fall far from the tree, but when I look up all I see are fucking lemons.
>>71272023
They say the pen is mightier than the sword, but you know what Ray? I have a gun, and now no one is saying anything.
>>71272023
the shit apple doesnt fall far from the shit tree
They say the house always wins in the end, but I'm the one payin' the fucking mortgage.
My grandfather told me you can discover everything you need to know about everything by looking at your hands. I've been looking at mine all my life, every day since I was 5, and you know what I've just realized? They're fucking feet.
my god, what a shitty dialogue
You know what Ray? They say you shit from your asshole, but I shit from my mouth, Ray. I shit from my FUCKING mouth!
>>71272023
Never sneeze Ray, your heart can stop
They say you've gotta look both ways before crossing the road. But you know what Ray? I'm road, and I tell you what - I've been stepped on too many times
>>71272421
This is actually a pretty good line.
Never eat a steak well done, Ray. Never well done, HOWEVER
They say an apple a day keeps the doctor away. Guess what? One spoiled apple ruined the bunch, and now the doctor is in. Caspere knew this.
They say you only live once Ray, tell that to my twin.
always down for a good Vinceposting thread
Some people say it's not the size of the boat but rather the motion of the ocean. Well guess what, Ray? I can't even swim. Never even had a bath. Caspere knew this.
A woman once told me Jesus is in all of us. So I nailed her Ray.
Life's like a box of chocolate? Well guess what Ray, I'm a dog. I'll die if I eat chocolate. Caspere knew this...
This is my favorite thread on /tv/
>>71273202
goddamn
>>71273153
They say two's company and three's a crowd. But you know what, Ray? Three's just one more than two.
>>71272439
Mr Lahey, your drunk again.
>>71273333
Apparently there's 3. Consider yourself checked, Frank.
They say in the land of the blind the one eyed man is king Ray. And I'm all out of contact lenses.
>>71273029Caspere knew this
You Ray what know? They say autism isn't contagious, but kiss me, and you'll see why that's incorrect.
They tell me five a day keeps the doctor away. I tell them, Ray, just one restraining order does the trick.
Fool me once shame on you Ray. Fool me twice shame on HBO.
>>71273333
Three's a company, but quads is an orgy.
When I was a kid, my old man would get drunk and beat me like a rented mule. Well, now I run the fucking mule car dealership Ray and it's time for you to take a test drive.
they say the early bird catches the worm but you know what Ray? ah nevermind forget it
Early bird catches the worm, right? Well, from where I'm standing, Ray, it's just a plumper dish for the night owl. Caspere knew this.
>>71273482
oh my fuck
>>71273333
you got four crowds right there
Y'know how they say it takes two to tango, Ray? Well I just realized my partner is sleeping behind my back and I've been doing the fucking waltz this whole time.
They say you are what you eat, well I've never eaten anything, I guess that's why I don't know what I am.
I came here to do two things, Ray. And you know what, Ray? I'm all out of things, Ray.
>>71272023
They say one bad apple spoils the bunch. Let me tell you something Ray, I fuckin hate apples it's all the same to me
They say your life flashes before your eyes when you die, yeah, a bullet does too.
They say dead men tell no tales. I've been dead for years Ray, and I'm here to fucking tell you about it. Caspere knew this.
When I was a kid I opened up a lemonade stand. Now this other kid down the street, Joey, he opens up a lemonade stand right next to mine. Now I start to notice he's cutting into my profits, so you know what I did Ray? Well lets just say I ain't ever been able to drink a glass of lemonade since. Caspere knew this.
You got to keep your head above water here Ray, and I mean it or you'll fucking drown in my pool.
They say dog is man's best friend Ray. But I don't know if I'd let my best friend watch me masturbate and have sex.
They say a man that doesn't look beyond himself misses the whole world, well I'm looking Ray, and you know what? I really need to get some glasses.
It's like dating niggers Ray, you never want to date one, but if you have to, at least let it be a rich basketball nigger
It's a dog eat dog world Ray, but I'm the fuckin' Chinaman
Life is beautiful, Ray. Really, it is. Full of beauty and illusions. Life is great, Ray. Without it, you'd be dead.
I fucking loved Season 2. God damn. Vince and Colin killed that shit. John Carter and What's-Her-Face were also on point.
You know what Ray? They say pride goeth before a fall, but when I look up I realized I never had a horse at all.
All these assholes are out here playing nothing but fucking checkers. Guess what Ray? I've been playing chess for fucking years.
They say behind every successful man is a woman Ray, but I tried pegging once. Not a fan Ray.
>>71273732
Kek
They told me flipping a coin can only have 2 outcomes. Well I flipped the whole fucking world upside down, Ray. What happens next? Take your fucking bet.
They say the biggest of them is what's really off of there when it never even had a shot, Ray. Caspere knew this.
They say you should never look a gift horse in the mouth, but you know what Ray? Maybe if we were watching its feet we wouldn't be picking up our teeth right now
I started getting wise to their game. Started figuring out that I'm gonna get the shit end of the stick. But you know what I realized, Ray? It was my shit on the stick in the first place.
>>71273324
Same. Evey post is funny.
>>71272023
>>71272439
I guess the turd doesn't fall far from the faggot's ass
I'm at a fork in the road, a major life decision ahead of me, but I'm not a utensil Ray, never forget that.
They say laughter is the best medicine Ray, but my dick didn't feel any better after my wife laughed at it.
They say an apple a day keeps the doctor away. You know what I make of that, Ray? If you get sick, don't eat apples. Caspere knew this.
They say a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush, Ray. But if I'm the bird, I'll take the fuckin bush.
They say you should never judge a book by its cover Ray. I judge it by page count. No fat chicks Ray.
They say the bigger you are, the harder you fall, Ray, but what they don't tell you is that the last man standing's just Danny DeVito in platform shoes. Caspere knew this...
I'm always told you should never bite off more than you can chew, want to know something, Ray? I've been wearing dentures since day one.
They say the road to Hell is paved with good intentions Ray. Well we live in Southern California. Hell's roads are looking pretty good.
>>71273200
KEK
This isn't a game Ray, if it were, I would have brought all my issues of Nintendo power.
They say the night is darkest before dawn. Well I got a fuckin' flashlight Ray. Come at me.
>>71274083
Shit, that sounds like an actual line from the show.
>>71272023
You know what Ray? They say there's no such thing as a free lunch, but I don't see a check for all the shit I've been eating
You know how the older you get the stronger the wind gets? I'm the wind Ray, I get stronger the older you get.
>>71273281
>>71273333
>>71273482
>>71273513
>>71273619
>>71273732
>>71274015
>>71274151
They say two wrongs don't make a right. Is that why my wife and I can't make a baby Ray?
They say two heads are better than one Ray, but I checked it out, tranny porn isn't for me.
I feel so bad about watching the entire s2
I miss Vinceposting.caspere knew this
All this time Ray I thought I was winning at life. Now I look back and see I was playing the wrong game. Everyone else was playing chess while I played checkers. You say I'm in checkmate, I say "King me."
You know they say that it's always the darkest before Ray? Well I'm an insomniac, do you think I give a care?
>>71274268
It saddens me that I can never get that time back.
>>71274277
They say they miss Vinceposting Ray, they say it in a thread full to the fucking brim with it. And this post is the fucking brim. Caspere knew this.
>>71274268
>>71274321
Season 2 was nowhere near as good as season 1 sure, but was it really that bad if you judge it on its own? I liked S2
Curiosity killed the cat Ray, yeah, well I'm a fucking lion.
They say that when in Rome, you do as the Romans do Ray. Well here I am in the desert Ray... roaming...https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EWIiiF-OocE
Never eat, Ray, not even ice cream.
Never bend, your back can break.
He said I was a big guy Ray. I said for you. I still don't know why I said that.
This is it, we are going down the rabbit hole.
I hope you like stew because in the end I'll be cooking the fucking White Rabbit and making a hat out of its fur.
But this is California Ray, what the hell am I going to do with a fur hat.
They always said shaking more than twice meant you're just jacking off ray, well I've always been a dick, and I'm sick of being jacked around. Caspere knew this.
They say I'm swimmin' with sharks Ray, and you know what? It's makin' me hungry for a god damn tuna sandwich
You think this is a lost cause, Ray? Well call up the fucking lost-and-found, cause Caspere fucking found it. He also knew this.
The say a stitch in time saves nines, but how's that saying go when it's my scrotum that needs to be sewn up? My balls are about to fall out Ray, and that's the end of fuckin time as far as I'm concerned
Never do anything out of hunger, Ray, not even starving.
>>71272581
They say the house always wins in the end, but who owns the house ray? Bankers got the mortgage, bankers got you. All I got is a single chip and I'm playin against the house and the bank.
>>71274480
And for that reason, I'm out.
Don't cry over spilled milk, Ray. That's what my mother taught me. But this? They just killed the fucking cow. Casper knew this.
My father told me I should always try to kill two birds with one stone Ray. But it took years for me to realise that it's the stone I wanted gone, so where did that leaves me? That's right, a fucking huge pile of dead birds and nothing to show for it.
Its never just the straw that breaks the camels back ray, it's the fat Fucking Egyptian who fucked up my land deal with the Russians
It's a show called True Detective Ray. But I'm not even a detective, and here I am, a protagonist.
They say there's plenty of fish in the sea, Ray. Well I'm out here without a fishing license because I couldn't produce documentation of the state where I live. Problem is, I haven't felt alive in years.
They say it's not how many times you get knocked down that counts, it's how many times you get back up again. Well, I never got up in the first place. I've been crawling this entire time, but now... I'm ready to stand, Ray.
It takes two to fucking tango, but I'm tapdancing
They say lightning never strikes in the same place twice, but you know what Ray? It doesn't need to with my head in the clouds of this black cloud I have hanging over my head. Caspere knew this
Cosby always told me to let sleeping dogs lie, well Ray these bitches been lying about him since the 80s and now he's fucked.
>>71274703
Never stand, you can trip.
This vinceposting thread's a nightmare Ray, a dead horse being beaten in the dark.
they say that our enemies never sleep.
well Ray i must be my own worst enemy cause i have fucking insomnia
>>71274789
Don't eat, you can choke
>>71274830
Don't breathe, I farted.
>>71274840
Caspere knew this
They say never bring a knife to a gunfight. Well I did once Ray. Brought it right up to a whorehouse I was taking over. That's how I met my wife Ray. And let me tell you, knives may not work in a gunfight, but they work great in the bedroom. Caspere knew this.
My father used to say 'Life is what you make of it, son.' but it's not, not for you. I made you Ray and I will unmake you faster than you can cook a burger. Never forget that.
promise me, caspere
One in the hand is worth two in the bush, Ray, but it turns out i'm an amputee, and her bush ain't worth shit.
"It's like standing in front of the mirror and asking who's got the bigger dick. It's pathetic."
You know what Ray? Someone said that a man only needs to be turned around once with his eyes shut to be lost in this world. I guess they never saw me play piñata.
A dream without a plan is a wish Ray, and I ain't Robin Williams
They say the unexamined life isn't worth living Ray. Well I took the exam, and I guessed on it.
>>71274930
But that's my life Ray. And you know what? The mirror's a funhouse and I just lost to my own reflection.
It's a dog eat dog world and here I am trying to sell this Purina Puppy Chow, Ray.
If you can dodge a wrench, Ray, you can dodge a ball. Caspere knew this.
MLK had a dream, Ray, and now he's dead. Maybe he was awake and we're all dreaming? Either way it's time to huff some chloroform
The sheer collective intelligence and knowledge of philosophical quotes and aphorisms dedicated to shitposting in this thread is commendable. It gives me hope for humanity Ray.
Do you jerk off Ray? I do. A lot. I think of it as batting practice.
You ever hear the phrase "Loose Lips Sink Ships" Ray? Well right now I'm on the Titanic, and the decks tilting beneath me. I asked my band to join me in a final song, they jumped on the lifeboats and left me behind with the tuba. No matter where I jump, I'm gonna hit that fucking propeller on the way down. And that's just the tip of the iceberg. Caspere knew this
They say a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush. But you know what Ray? Bushes are hard to come by when you live in the fucking desert, so I'll start counting my chickens when this dog finds a place to hunt
I don't sleep Ray, I rest my eyes.
We can play Cowboys and Indians all day Ray, but that doesn't change the fact that you smell like shitting beach
Ever fuck a man Ray? Me neither ;)
One of the first signs of the beginning of understanding is the wish to die. That's why they say ignorance is bliss.
Never do anything because youre horny, Ray. Especially fucking.
>>71272693
kek
They say Trump wants to make America great again Ray. But was it ever great? Was anything in this world ever great?
A philosopher once said “Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.” Well I've been pushing Rommel back for years now and I'm all out of kindness.
A belief is like a guillotine Ray. Just as heavy, just as light.
I was once told that in our business Ray, you keep your friends close and your enemies closer and right now Ray, I'm feeling God-damn claustrophobic
My uncle used to get me presents every Christmas. 'They're from Santa', he said. But you know how I always knew Santa's not real? The world's drowning in shit and not a single reindeer turd.
They say we often have to pick the lesser of two evils, yeah, well I'm no fucking angel.
>>71274309
Wasn't this actually in the show?
They say Santa isn't real Ray. Well then who's shitting underneath my Christmas tree?
We have a long road ahead of us Ray. I don't know where it leads, but from a certain point onward there is no longer any turning back. That is the point that must be reached. That's where we need to go.
>>71275236
"Pride goes before a fall?" What do you mean Ray?Last time I checked, pride wasn't a season.
You fucked up Ray. Like a Thai whore fucks up a food order. Why the fuck are you bringing me crab ragoons?
I was once asked if I would download a car Ray. I'd go further Ray. I'd download the whole world.
You know how they say to take the road less traveled? Well I'm not taking any road, Ray. My tank's on empty and I got no bus fare.
>>71275370
I can't remember, i remember it from a thread when it was first airing. I can't recall it from the show, maybe it was.
The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step, Ray. Our journey lies ahead - to reach the fucking Chinaman. It's a good thing we're going by car.
>>71273524
Caspere knew this
The police came round asking me what Caspere knew Ray. I told them I don't believe in ghosts.
Have you ever been in a museum Ray? You know how they say 'Look but don't touch'. I once thought I was the same way, then a big fugly Asian kid's wiping his fingers on my front, and I'm stuck on the sex offender registry
The waitress asked me if I wanted soup or salad. I had to think about this. Multiverse theory told me that as soon as I made the choice, I would create another universe where I made the other choice. I asked her what she recommended. She said the soup. It wasn't that good. Didn't leave a tip.
Float like a butterfly sting like a bee? It doesn't matter how you float when you're dead from Parkinson's
They say the world's your oyster. Well you know what, Raymond? Oysters ain't for me.
Cogito ergo sum Ray. That's what I told him. He asked what it meant. I told him it meant "I think therefore I <BLAM!>". I still think about it sometimes as I eat out my wife.
Ray, you gotta know when to hold 'em and when to fold 'em. Right now, you are folding my nutsack into oblivion
>You want life to stop suffocating you? Don't hold your breath, Ray. Me? I don't even have lungs. I got gills. And that's why this shit smells real fishy to me
>>71273281
Topkek
Good night frankposters. Quality thread.
>>71276571
Goodnight, Ray. Don't let the bedbugs bite. And tonight, Ray? I'm fucking Mothra. Don't bother bringing repellent.
