ITT: We come up with movie ideas based around Jason Statham being cast as the lead
>>71145316
>Jason Statham owns a bakery
>the local gangs start demanding he pays protection money
>they burn down his bakery when he refuses
>he hunts them down in revenge
>meanwhile the bakery fire has spread and the whole city is in danger
Title is 'The Fire of 1666'
>>71145316
> Jason Statham visits his uncle in New York
> uncle runs a grocery store in the Bronx
> uncle goes on vacation, leaves Jason in charge
> rag tag bunch of surprisingly diverse misfits stirs up trouble
> Jason has to beat them into submission while doing his own stunts
> but there is a bigger bad
I call it A Jolly Good Round Of Fisticuffs In the Colonies.
Alternatively Bong in the Bronx
>>71145466
>>71145316
Crank 3.
CRANK 3
If he moves too much, he dies.
Just make CRANK3D already.
>Statham plays a famous Hollywood actor navigating the perils of stardom and homemaking
>It turns out his agent is actually a member of a evil organization that produces mindwarping propaganda for the masses in the form of superhero movies, which he unwittingly starred in
>Statham's beard attacks him and his boyfriend is kidnapped
>now Statham is all alone and racing against the clock to stop the release of his biggest (most diabolical) movie yet, which is on track to set the new worldwide opening weekend record due to his faked death being free advertising
>title card reveal: Last Action Hero 2
Jason statham wants to kick satan in the gooch, but his mom won't let him catch a break.
>Jason Statham is wrongfully accused of samefagging on /tv/
>Jason Statham embarks on a mission to clear his name by killing everyone on /tv/
>>71145316
>Statham plays himself and is teleported to extra dimensional arena where he must find parallel universe stathams.
>>71145712
>>71145714
>>71145802
>Chev Chelios must do _____ to survive.
Fill the gap, /tv/
>>71146143
>Chev Chelios must browse 4chan to survive.
>>71146143
>Hunt
Crank 3: stone cold stone age
>>71146143
Martial arts and public sex?
Just cutting out the middle man.
>>71145316
>Jason Statham is a guy thrown into a damning circumstance in which he is not actually guilty but is forced to clear his name with a bunch of shady/illegal characters by dealing in equally shady/illegal things.
and it turns out he's really good it or has a background in it
I have had this movie idea for a while. Statham would be playing some sort of an american badass with british accent on a solitary mission of revenge. What do you think about it,/tv/?
>>71145316
Jason Statham is a small time industrial engineer working on high rise construction. He builds a pair of stilts and becomes Stilt Man: The Movie.
Oh yeah, and he saves some young girl, which is all he ever seems to do anyway.
>>71145316
>bald
>cant speak proper american english
>5'7" manlet
yea nah
>>71146169
its shitpost
>>71145466
> The great fire of London as a revenge tale
That... actually... could... work.
>Jason Statham plays bumbling beta math teacher
>grows out his hair for the role and loses 30 lbs
>gets oscar
>gets back to acting in action films
>>71145316
Taken IV
>Jason Statham leaves jail reformed but has no place to go
>The former husband of his aunt, a black man, invites him to his place and gives him a job
>Black man is like peter parker uncle, but black
>It's bronx tier setting
>A couple of bad kids (white-latino-black-asian) do bad shit and he tries to help them before they end up in jail like him
>Has to face a big bad black guy of irish ancestry for the sake of his the new generation so they don't end up in jail
>Nigger king also kills his uncle in law.
I swear i must be jewish or something
>>71146767
Samuel Pepys is his comedic relief side kick, played by Paul Bettany.
>>71145316
What is the best Stratham movie besides Crank and Transporter?
>>71146976
I liked The Mechanic tbf
>>71146976
Crank 2 and Transporter 2 in that order.
Outside of those series:
Lock Stock and 2 Smoking Barrels
Snatch } Both Guy Ritchie
The Italian Job
The Bank Job
Not even memeing.
>>71145316
Professor X set between the original X-MEN and the Reboots.
All the X-men are captured and professor X alone with his assortment of guns and a nuclear powered wheelchair fgoes on a mass gory rampage to find and free his students. also gratuitous sex scene with deathstrike for no reason.
>>71145316
>Still no Crank 3 where he has to fight Smith from Shoot'Em Up
fucking why
>>71145466
Fund it.
