>go to cinema
>buy large popcorn, butter on the side
>"how much will that be?"
>It Ain't Free starts playing
>>71097649
That is a good post anon,
HOWEVER
>>71097649
I serve popcorn at a cinema butthat aint me
please go back to plebbit and stop pissing on what used to be board.4chan.org/tv/
>>71097649
>*record scratch*
>*freeze frame*
"Yep, that's me, the OP. Guess you're wondering why I made such a shitty post, huh?"
>>71097846
>shitty post
>first reply says it's a good post
lol fuck off loser
>>71097927
>1 post by this ID
Yes, Yes. Well done, my African-American butter merchant, nice popcorn
HOWEVER
>ask for large popcorn
>get to your seat
>realize it's a large popped corn
>mfw
>>71097649
>Attempting to enter the Kínógraphíque-projeçíone-facílítíe
>Manage to convince the penis inspector that bringing in my falcon makes me not a single
>Even though there's a "No Pets" sign
>Watch the fist half of the flick
>Coming out of the showers at intermission, had to buy a bar or soap after the usher caught me using my own
>Snack attendant yells at me as I literally have my hand on the projection-room door
>He notices I haven't fulfilled my contractual obligations by spending at least $24 at the snack bar
>He says he'll give me a bucket of crab legs for $20
>Have $0 on me after spending it on soap
>Get thrown out of the building
>Never found how that spike lee joint ended
Fuck that.
>>71098171
wow.
its amazing just how unfunny you are.
>>71098474
>implying he's not telling the truth
>go to the local kino
>pass through the metal detector
>Bob says it's my turn on the watchtower
>turns out i'm stationed at the one next to the screen so i can't see shit from the movie
>there's steam coming out of the showers so i can't see the people either
>turn on the searchlight and start checking out the back rows
>someone is bashing on his anvil trying to craft a longsword
>continue inspecting
>a guy stands up and shouts "I CANT TAKE THIS ANYMORE I'M GOING HOME"
>me and the other guards unload on him
>a gaggle of falcons swoops by and starts ripping flesh from his corpse
>the designated cinema shooter is disappointed and leaves
>accidentally trips a wire and spikes come out of the wall impaling him and a dozen other people on the same row
>two janitors start dragging out the bodies over to the alligator pits
>movie ends but someone tries to leave before the credits are done
>Bob presses a button and releases the cinema-hounds
>the guy sees them and tries to run but just at the exit they tackle him to the ground
>mfw the Revenant was pretty shit with sound only but i'm too big of a pussy to ask for a refund
