Lol wtf
>>70753507
Banana is the perfect fruit for the theater. It comes in it's own packaging like most fruit but is easily opened without a knife, which they check for now. At least my theater has installed metal detectors next to the crab tank.
>>70753507
Well, i will now, what a swell idea.
>image.jpg
ROFL XDDD
>>70753562
>they have metal detectors at cinemas in burgerland
>>70753507
>finding any excuse to take pictures of Woman's feet
>>70753606
Come to LA. There are armed guards.
>>70753581
>he wants someone to take a cap of instagram and then take it from his phone to his computer just to post
>>70753507
I used to bring oranges to the cinema but the kids from the theater slums kept on taking them off me.
>>70753606
>#THEPRICEOFFREEDOM!
>#OWIHAVEBEENSHOT
>>70753632
>armed guards
Wouldn't bother me in the slightest 2bh
>>70753507
Do Americans really not wear hard hats at the cinema????? I'd be too worried some thing would drop from the cinema cranes if my head was unprotected
>>70753507
>burgerland theater designs
>>70753507
Being allowed to bring your own food is terrible. Theres always rude people that bring smelly and loud stuff.
>>70753677
>cinema cranes
...
>>70753507
There's a super market next to my local cinema and as kids my friends and I would stock up on food, one time my mate bought whipped cream and a block of cheese in the cinema
>>70753713
You mean like black children?
>>70753726
>Not having a Walmart inside the cinema
How do you people even live
>>70753507
A fur-oot? I ain't neva herd of no dang thing called a feroot befoah
Anybody else sick of the fruit vendors that constantly plague you at the movies now days?
>>70753794
Yeah, but we have this disgruntled Khlav Kalash vendor at ours that always pops in and shouts in his thick accent. He reeks like curry too.
>>70753794
>8$ for an orange
>10$ for a small little container of cherries
>6$ for an apple
they aren't even good looking fruit, same shit they got at walmart basically
>>70753507
@lmaddmomof3 the absolute madman hahahahahhaha
Porch monkeys, most likely
>>70753794
Sick of those mexicans selling oranges in the cinema corridors
>>70753562
>not bringing your banana knife to the cinemas
Well float my bum like a jellyfish mum...
>>70754137
lol that's cute I'm gonna say that
I had to stop bringing my fondue pot because some fucking kid was running past in the aisle and burned himself. It was humiliating when the guard shouted down at me in the middle of Inside Out from the tower and made me leave
I can't go to a cinema where the plebs bring fruit. My falcon gets distracted and attacks whomever is eating it.
>feet
>>70754217
>>70754196
you're not funny
>>70754302
Dumb lowercaseposter.
>>>/reddit/
>2016
>not having an private imax theatre
http://www.imaxprivatetheatre.com/en/index.html
>>70753507
Does that cinema have recliners? Are Americans incapable of even sitting upright for 2 hours?
>>70753606
in some parts of Brazil we have armed guards with sub machine guns because there have been rapes in the theater
>>70753507
uh, me
>>70753606
only if you live near niggers
>>70753507
Are those seats or beds? What the fuck america.
>>70754487
I'm sorry we don't live in a 3rd world shithole and can afford nice things for ourselves
>>70754488
>watch xmen apocolyspe
>get raped
>guy trys to stick it in your pooper aswell
>>70753567
*BRAAAAAAAAARP*
>>70754601
>europoor theaters don't have recliners
This whole "lmao random and unexpected things at the theater" meme is the worst /tv/ has ever done. Come on, you guys could do better.
>>70753751
The cinema sells its own food but it's super expensive, hence the supermarket trip
>>70754601
Only a poor, 3rd world shitskin would think comfy seats is something to make fun of. Enjoy your piss-stained, rock-hard seats, yuropoor.
>>70754786
>no back support
>cheap damp leather
>so far apart you can't even kiss your date
I still can't believe how a country so obsessed with comfort can't even grasp the most basic of human pleasures.
>bring myself a large bag of cocktail shrimp
>pour in a bottle of cocktail sauce and mix it all up good
>it breaks open in my fanny pack when I go to buy my ticket
>cinema police escort me out of the theater for bringing in outside seafood
>>70754738
No we can't because this place is reddit newfags
>>70754919
All of those points are wrong. It's really obvious you've never been to an actual decent theater in your life Yuroshit.
>>70753713
Once a dude next to me brought a subway sandwich. Whole place smelled of hot greasy bread.
>>70753562
>without a knife, which they check for now
You from Londonstan?
>OP has never opened up a banana and smashed it into a paste with his anvil and hammer and spread it on naan bread
absolute fucking pleb.
>>70754601
>His movie theater doesn't have beds
this is what passes for a quality thread on /tv/ and film in 2016
clean your collective shits up, this is fucking pathetic
>>70755250
Do they actually not have beds in yuropean theaters? How else would they have sex during intermission?
she's steamy tho
>>70755292
>he missed the last year
This is the direct result of hiromoot not only denying us /film/ but trolling us with it
This board is beyond saving and has been for well over a year
>>70755375
>he
anon, pls. splitting the boards would only make it worse. we dont need more boards or increased moderation, we need to take it upon ourselves to MAKE /tv/ GREAT AGAIN
>>70753507
White people sure do love flip flops
>>70755434
start by banning canada and the uk
they're gigantic shitposters and then when they get called out they try to blame innocent Australians, who otherwise normally only contribute positively to the /tv/ community
>>70753507
i always eat peanuts at the cinemas just in case someone is allergic
the weak should fear the strong
>tfw someone can't control their Falcon and it swoops down and steals your buttered banana
>>70755361
>tfw someone's bird swoops down and eats your pet rat because someone didn't tie the bird down
>>70753507
>Americans get triggered by people who bring fruits into theaters as a snack
>>70755467
>try to blame innocent Australians
>>70753507
I bet it smells fucking awful there. People look too comfortable
>>70753562
>tfw had to swim through the crab tank at my last visit to the theatre
Rumour has it they're installing a lobster tank.
>>70753677
I'd be too worried about stray bulets from the school shooting next door to not wear a hard hat in Burgerstan.
>>70753507
Look at those fat hands.
>>70756023
>being scared of the designated cinema shooter
>not just clapping when he takes his stand
i bet your girlfriend pegs you too
>>70753507
delicious potassium snack, minimal noise.
fuck that hater
>>70753507
apes
>>70754251
>Go to watch a film at the cinema
>Girl behind me rests her bare feet in between the gap of armrests
>Resisting the urge to try and discretely sniff
2 and a half hours of torture
>>70756489
not really, when I bought by cinema bananas at the concession stands, they came in packages of 3 and those wrappers were loud. When I asked the employees why the banana packages were so loud when they were being opened he had me escorted off the premises, for being against biodegradable banana wrappers and organic USADA certified fair trade colombian bananas. I haven't been to the cinema since and now sneak in my own bananas (I only can bring in 3 at a time, two between my armpits and one between the legs) into a local kino emporium by the warf. The fog horn from their crab boats can be slightly distracting during films but it is the signal that a fresh batch of snacks have arrived for our movie going enjoyment. The seats have built in butter dispensers and crab crackers must be rented at the door for a cost of $5 per film. Shoes are not required but recommended since it is theater policy to deposit the crab shells on the floor, and though it can be noisy when people get up from their seats with every step smashing piles of discarded crab legs, the snack is worth the trouble.
>>70756964Is this copypasta?
>>70757030
nope fresh OC
>>70753507
>americans laugh at people eating a healthy fruit
l
m
o
a
>>70753507
It's so you can check the size of the cinema screen amirite my fellow reddit veterans!!!!????!?!?
>>70757079
>laugh at people eating a healthy fruit
That person doesn't look like she eats healthy.
>>70754738
Did you fail the /tv/ penis inspection too?
>>70757079
bananas are actually dangerous, they contain potassium which reacts violently to water (humans are made up of 70% water). Here is a video of someone dropping a banana into a bowl of water:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jy1DC6Euqj4
>>70757079
>laughing, my ovaries ache
Fuck off womyn
>>70756964
I've never seen somebody try this hard at being not-funny.
>>70753507
bananas and crablegs
truly we have become carribean cuisine
>>70757180
>not liking crab legs
why m8?
what cuisine should I take with me to watch the warcraft movie?
>>70757251
something barbecued with a bread of sorts
>tfw all the king size beds are sold out at the theater
>complain to the manager but all they give you is a pint of coleslaw
I really wish some new theaters would build around here.
>>70753562
everybody talking about the knife part and i just want to know what the fuck a crab tank is, and if its what it sounds like why the hell is there one at a cinema.
>>70753507
HAHA A BANANA :DDDDD
I CAN'T SO FUNNY :)))))
>>70757385
where else are they supposed to put the crabs?
>in ireland for the next 2 days
>theatres don't serve crab legs
>but you get a free potato with every cinema ticket
>tfw you have to bring your own peeler though and butter costs extra
>>70753606
>be me
>decide to go see The Nice Guys
>fill out federal application for One Time Theatrical Viewing Permit
>get approved. Bus arrives at 2:30pm
>bus takes me to pre-arraigned theater where 60 armed guards wait at the stop with dogs.
>get patted down and pass through full body scanner.
>"You're clear, sir. Enjoy your movie."
>"Y-you too."
>>70754738
It's my favorite /tv/ meme. It's like if Kafka made a meme.
>>70753562
>tfw some of the crabs escape into the theater showers
>>70757251
A bento box with sake
>>70756854
I hope she was at least cute
Food should be banned from cinemas.
Listening to some cunt shovel nachos in to their fucking maw makes me want to kill.
>>70758293
how can you watch a movie without eating something?
>>70757385
I bet you don't bring your own anvil to the theater too.
And you must be a normie because you'd know what a crab tank is if you circumvented the no singles policy by bringing your own falcon.
>>70758337
By not being American.
>>70758417
But anon I'm English and we eat in the theatre as well.
>>70757740
>americans don't even have mandatory penis inspections before entering the theatre
>>70754919
>go to the flicks
>it's Civil War, A Marvel Assemble or some boring shit like that
>your gf can't even give you the succ because the seats are designed for morbidly obese amerilards
>have to watch the entire thing
>>70755361
Only one? At my local, the no singles policy also applies to our non-human companions.
I understand the motivation behind the policy, but it seems overly harsh when combined with the requirement for flotation devices to enjoy the hot spring seating.
>all these falconplebs ITT
Owls are the superior kino birds you fucking peasants
>>70754738
what? no. its the best?!
>>70758052
You know that it's illegal to take you own bento box to the theatre, you have to apply for a designated bento box making girl, and have her make your bento for the rest of your life.
>>70753562
>tfw they had to uninstall our crab tank at the theatres because the falcons kept getting in it
no more crab legs for me i guess baka
>>70757740
>kafka
>not even pomo
Come on son
>>70758480
>English and we eat in the theatre as well
Yeah right, by eating you mean drinking, right?
>>70753737
How do you not have any (You)s
>>70758839
Not at cinema prices
Its 5-6 quid a pint
>>70754488
>watching the latest pg-rated superhero shitfest for children
>get raped several times
>the rapes are not the worst part of the experience
>>70758890
>tfw spanish
>tfw I went to a brit oriented theater in Magaluf for the beer
>tfw raped by chavs and the beer was awful
4/10 the goose was quite funny tho
>>70758946
they probably served you skol in a shagamuff
they use it to get the punters in
>>70758839
I sneak in a hot pie in my overcoat desu
>>70759058
I hide 2 sausage rolls down my sleeves
I smirk and unleash them and pretend Im assassins creed when I get passed theatre license checks
>>70758652
I failed my C.2 bird licence, so I can only have one bird companion, to be able to legally circumvent the no singles policy, me and my falcon have to attend to mandatory weekly granary service.
>>70753794
I dunno it was pretty Kino when ours was shouting DATES, GET YOUR FRESH DATES during Aladdin.
>He's never smuggled a bag of M&Ms into the theatre by hiding them up his ass before
Pfft... child's play...
(Until you fart and nearly spray them everywhere)
>>70757607
>tfw my mum bought my katana-peeler folded a thousand times and cooled with mother milk
>tfw the kinograph peelers are now mandatory
>tfw peeling my potato with some pleb tier filthy knife
>>70759188
I got confused when I thought he was selling dates to get around the no singles policy. I got laughed out of the theater and my cape got stuck in the door
>>70759188
that's pretty funny, when i was in my cinema our snack boys kept shouting GET YOUR BAKLAVAS, GET YOUR SUGARY SWEET BAKLAVAS
>>70757180
wow you must really be some intelligent free thinker individual !
>>70753507
>image.jpg
>>70753562
>but is easily opened without a knife
Name 2 fucking fruits who are hard to open without a knife!
>recliners
>his theater doesn't have sofas
Poorfags
>>70753507
all memes aside a banana is one of the more considerate foods you could sneak into the theatre. no loud packaging and no crunch
>go to the cinema in america
>the audio is entirely in spanish
>>70761023
>what are germs
>>70755508
just toss some of those around
>>70753737
REKT
>>70753507
100 posts and not one mention of her nipple being out
100 posts and not one mention of her nipple being out
100 posts and not one mention of her nipple being out
100 posts and not one mention of her nipple being out
god damn /tv/ is gay
>>70761251
wtf are you talking about nigguh?
>>70761251
it's the shirt design
>>70761271
>>70761251
stop watching so much porn.
>>70761320
>A PIXEL
wew lad are you a virgin?
>>70761374
You're a fucking moron.
>>70761317
>>70761337
>>70761374
true virgins detected.
I posted this thread to see how retarded /tv/ is.
took you guys 140 posts to see the titty.
>>70761251
good job anon
>take my banana to the theater
>accidentally go to the autism friendly showing
>nothing but screaming and hollering the whole time
>they hammer their anvils faster to get the projectionist to skip the boring dialogue
>kid in a sonic shirt takes my banana and hammers it into pulp on his anvil
>my falcon just sits their like nothing happened
>cinema security comes in suddenly and escorts me out, because I lied about having a girlfriend waiting in the theater for me (no singles policy)
>trip on my cape on the way down the stairs
>the crab legs I snuck in fly out of my pockets
>cinema security arrests me
>shooter suddenly runs in with a Joker mask on, opens fire
>escape the cinema police while they're engaged in a shootout with him
I'll go back in a few weeks when they won't recognize me.
>>70753507
post some sweaty delicious theatre feet
>>70757251
jar of mustard
>>70761454
you're not allowed to congratulate yourself
>>70753507
>all these disgusting flip flop wearing cunts
>>70755977
Underated
>>70754302
Eat shit grump
>>70754487
>doesn't have comfy recliners
>f-fucking americans ;___;
Get more jealous, pleb
>>70755361
Aren't birds very vocal and generally noisy?
>>70754669
Too fat to sit up
>>70756854
What the fuck, that would piss me off. You didn't pay to have someone place their feet on your seat.
I understand footfriends probably like that, but see it from another perspective.
>>70756854
Dating a QT22/7 22 year old Reddit scum.
I'm 30 and browse the chans.
We have TONS of sex.
I start telling her that I'm going to put her feets in my mouth, she looks terrified.
In reality, I have no interest in feets other than grillz keeping them clean and nail polished.
Anyways, one day while fucking I pin her down and put her foot in my mouth.
She screamed so loud and tried to get away.
Now I have a ironic foot fetish but only to scare grillz.
Living the Dream
>>70753606
They aren't so bad, the random shower searches are off putting though
>>70755467
G'day cunt
>>70757073
At least you tried
>>70753507
Ooga booga
>>70761813
Falcons are generally well behaved and only get vocal on penis inspection day, snooty owls and their owners are the ones giving a bad reputation to the cinema avian academy.
>>70760979
Melon, pineapple, your mum's legs (one of these is a lie).
>>70762715
>cinema avian academy
Using this as a prompt for a short story.
>>70753507
>imagining the smell of the open peel an hour and a half into the film
that's some experience ruining shit
Oh fuck do people actually pay attention to others at the cinema? Cuz last time I went I made myself a couple of chicken and cheese sandwiches while the movie was going.
I mean, it's healthier than buying pick n mix sweets and it's what I wanna eat.
