You ever heard of the saying "Why'd the chicken cross the road?" Well it didn't. I'm the fucking road, Ray, and nobody crosses me.
>>70560052
Caspere knew this.
When i was a boy i had a dog, ray. He was a good friend
>>70560052
this meme shouldn't have died
>>70560052
Never order ketchup sauce on your burger Ray, you n me, we aint no fucking tomatos.
You know the oldestie in America Ray? That power can be innocent. How else do explain my debt to the electric company?
>>70560052
They say the early bird gets the worm. Well, I don't eat worms, Ray. I eat the early birds.
>>70560052
Ray, you know that sound when a hard shit hits porcelain and drips into the water?
We are that sound and the world is that porcelain, never aim for the pond.
>>70560052
They say, if you cant stand the heat get out of the kitchen. Well Ray........... i dont even have a house anymore.
You know how they say measure twice, cut once?
Well I don't give a fuck what you do, Ray. Just remember I'm the ruler.
>My Dad always said one man's trash was another man's treasure, Ray. Well I'm Scrooge Mc-Fuckin-Duck swimmin' on garbage island, and necessity is the mother of invention.
>I think you're mixin' up metaphors, Frank.
>A penny saved is a penny earned, Ray. And I'm about to judge the fuckin' book by it's cover.
This was honestly the best tv meme. Too bad it required a brain to use it so it quickly died off.
>>70560227
GOAT meme 2 b h
>>70561052
Brain?
>>70560052
>>70560228
>>70560239
Oh god i'm crying. Let's bring this back please.
They say you can't make a silk purse out of a pig's ear, Ray. I say fuck the silk purse, gut the whole pig and paint a dollar sign on its ass. No big bad wolf is going to blow that house down.
>>70561274
Samefag.
Well Ray it looks like it's out of the furnace and straight into the fire, except my house was always on fire and I'm the fucking arsonist
Ray, I used to wait in line, until I realized the world is my fucking In N Out drive through.
>They say that having one in the hand is worth two in the bush
>Well maybe l'm sick of standing here holding my cock in my hand, Ray
>Maybe l want whats in the bush
>l wanna be elbow fuckin' deep in the bush, Ray
>and l'm not afraid of getting my boots dirty
Looks like I'm up creek without a paddle Ray and I'm about to put the money where my mouth is.
>>70560239
We need more daring synthesis like this
You know the old saying, be careful what you wish for? I'm the result of careless wishes, Ray.
Someone once told me its upstairs for thinking and downstairs for dancing Ray, but stand amoung an army of corpses and ask the dead if honour matters, then you realise your dancing shoes and dirty boots are the same fucking thing.
They say Rome wasn't built in a day Ray. Well I'm Rome and I say when in Rome.
>>70561657
Chuckled
Caspere's death affected us all. His phantom lingering in the shadows, watching us fight over his earthly goods. Sometimes at night I feel like his spirit is crouching on my chest as I sleep, and you know what Ray? It's not a friendly ghost.
A stitch in time saves nine, Ray. But I'd been running for too long, and my stitch is so bad, I don't think I can even save myself.
You know the plane scene from The Dark Knight Rises, Ray? Well I'm a big guy, but not for you or anyone else. I'm my own fucking man, Ray, and I won't reveal the next step in my master plan either. Also I was born in the darkness, remember that story about my dad locking me in his cellar?
>>70561657
Quality
Ray, there's an old saying that goes "fighting with morals is like fighting with one hand tied behind your back", well Ive had both my hands tied my whole life and ya know what? I'm a fucking master head butter..
There are three kinds of people in the world, Ray. Those that live long enough to see their grandchildren, and those that think it's a good idea to correct me.
Ray I want to make love to a man
Fool me once, shame on me. Fool me, sh-sha.. you can't get fooled again, Ray.
They say an apple a day keeps the doctor away, Ray. Well I'm the doctor and I say how do you like THESE apples?
They say there's no rest for the wicked, but when the wicked kill all the rest, the wicked have no choice but to rest. I'm both the Wicked and the rest, so what now Ray?
Ray I think I might be an alcoholic
I'm so up to my neck in shit, I'm thinking about ordering a snorkel.
>>70561813
Underrated
They say that in the land of the blind, the one-eyed man is king, well Ray i've got a glass eye
My grandfather told me you can discover everything you need to know about everything by looking at your hands. I've been looking at mine all my life, every day since I was 5, and you know what I've just realized? They're fucking feet.
When I told my dad I converted, he beat me over the head and told he wouldn't allow "none of that fucking Jesus" in his house.
You want to know the funny thing, Ray? Turns out Jesus was a virgin.
It's a dog-eat-dog world and I'm the fucking chinaman.
You gotta be unpredictable in this world to survive, Ray. Just look at me. When life gives me lemons, I don't make lemonade. I make fucking orange juice.
You know how they say that cats have nine lives, Ray? Well I sure as hell have at least nine lives, but I aint no fucking pussy
Never check the time with your watch. Something that close to you shouldn't change so often.
You know the saying "Keep your friends close, but keep your enemies closer", Ray? Well I don't have any fucking friends
Every cloud has a silver lining, Ray, but I'm the golden goose.
>Ray, I want you to head out to Vinci and see if we can't kill two bushes with one bird.
>Frank, do you mean kill two birds with one stone?
>No, Ray. See, my dad used to say the early bird gets the worm, but I don't want a worm, Ray. I'm not a fucking animal. I'm murdering all the pussy out there.
>>70561993
>>70562022
>>70562043
mild keks
Behind every great man is a greater woman. Well mine is in front of me and I'm plowing her asshole, Ray.
Ever heard the expression I'll be on you like white on rice? Well, we're talking about wild rice Ray and it ain't even rice, it's a grass, so somebody's ass is gonna be grass, you can count in it.
>>70560987
>>70560365
top kek
My dad always used to say you shouldn't bite the hand that feeds you, that's why I use a fork Ray. I always use a fork.
They say you shouldn't make a mountain out of a molehill, Ray. Well I'll tell you what. After I'm through with this, that mole ain't gonna just have a mountain, he's gonna have a fully decorated en suite mountain condominium with a little FUCKIN ski slope of his own, you hear me Ray?
>>70562022
You know how you are not supposed to judge a book by it's cover, Ray? Well guess what, I judge a man by how well he's taking cover and you are about to get shot
You've stolen my thunder, Ray. But I'm Zeus and I'll give you a golden shower if you cross me again.
I was always told people like me were a dime a dozen. You know what Ray? They were wrong. I'm a fucking nickel.
>>70562131
replying to your own posts won't make them any funnier
When I was a kid, I went to Grand Canyon and saw a man yelling at it. I asked him what he was doing and he said he wanted to hear the echo. I asked him what it was and he explained that it was the sound waves bouncing back to me. I yelled my name into the canyon, Ray. "FFFFRRRRAAAANNNKKK" and then...silence. You know what I learned that day, Ray? You better listen up because I never repeat myself.
>>70562239
stay mad that he didn't reply to your post, maybe come up with something funny next time, faggot
They say you've gotta break a few eggs to make an omelette, Ray. But all of my eggs are already cracked, and someone stole the fucking frying pan.
>>70562239
I don't think you're very good at scoping out samefags.
You know that saying "You don't fuck the face?" Well today everybody's making faces Ray, and there's a whole lotta fucking bout to happen. I ain't no fuck face and it's time to face the music, fuckwise.
>>70562280
i didn't post anything though
I've heard the world's my oyster, but I'm happy as a fuckin' clam
Ray, if you give a man a fish he'll eat for a day. If you teach a man to fish he'll take all your fuckin' fish.
You know, Ray, when someone closes a door, God opens a window. What I want to know is why he keeps coming back.
Caspere knew this.
>>70560052
>We're all dealt a different hand at birth that gives us different options, but not everybody knows what to do with theirs. You might be born rich, but you're still a retard, Rooney, while I know how to get things done. You might have the box of legos, but I've got the instruction manual.
>>70561599
This sounds almost legit
Ever listen to the sound an owl makes Ray? Well I'm the tree it's perched on and I'm asking 'what' not 'who'.
Don't put all your eggs in one basket? Well fuck that Ray, all my eggs have hatched and that basket is empty, so fuck let them steal the basket because I have got plenty of hens to lay eggs anywhere in this town, now. Casper knew this.
>>70562369
that's actually pretty deep
They say let sleeping giants lie, Ray, but I say hook the narcoleptic motherfuckers up to a polygraph already.
They say an apple a day keeps the doctor away, Ray. Well you can't fuck with me and expect that some fruit will save you from getting hurt.
>Do you ever see snakes around other snakes? Its in their nature to be alone. To be survivors, killers. Thats what I am velcoro, a fucking snake in the weeds. Slithering around, shedding my skin of all the bullshit of this crazy world. Watch your step motherfucker *hiss*
You when they say destiny is in my hands Ray? Well guess what, all I have is a dead hooker
You can fire arrows from the Tower of Babel Ray, but you'll never strike me cause I'm a fucking God
My old man gave me one piece of advice before he died, Ray. Never get involved with a land war in Asia. And you know what I've learned since then? Every already knows Iocaine comes from Australia, so the cup is well and truly on the other fucking foot now.
Ray, my dad always used to say, "want not, waste not." Well, these guys might be wanting for the ICU in a few minutes because I'm about to waste some motherfuckers.
You know when Obi Wan says "these aren't the droids you're looking for?" Well, these are the drones we're looking for Ray, and Obi Wan's gonna feel a Jedi mind trick up his fucking ass when I'm done because a star wars has just begun.
they say there's always one person who wears the pants in a relationship, Ray. Well today the pants are on the other fucking foot, you hear me?
>>70560987
lol
>>70561795
Kek
They say all Xs are Y, Ray. Well you know what I've learned? I'm Z.
'Haste makes waste?' Well I make paste ,Ray, and i'm gonna send these motherfuckers to the glue factory
>>70562400
>>70562211
>>70562155
>>70562022
>>70561677
>>70561599
>>70561522
>>70560399
absolutely apopleptic
You ever that song about tte farmer that had a dog? Well, his name was Bingo, Ray, and today, you can call him Bingo, Ringo, Dingo, or Mingo because toady it doesn't matter. This is a doggie dog town and I'm about to open a new pound for all these fucking puppies.
>>70562369
>You might have the box of legos, but I've got the instruction manual.
t-take it back
If you teach a man to fish, he'll eat fish the rest of his life. But me, Ray? I don't even own a fucking boat. Never even learned how to swim.
>>70562369
Bold meme fusion.
never even had a FUCKING keychain
You wanna know about cops Ray? Let me tell you about the first time I ever met one.
I was a kid, I was at the mall with my dad. Then all of a sudden I end up by myself, I lose track of him. So I find a cop, and I tell him hey mister cop, hey mister good guy motherfucking cop, I lost my dad, I can't find him.
You know what he said to me Ray? "Well I am sorry to hear that", he said, "because now I'm gonna snatch every motherfucker birthday".
Next thing I knew my father was dead, a fucking mess of bulletholes. But the worst part about it is that I never knew what he meant Ray, I never knew what the fuck he meant.
They say a watched pot never boils, Ray. But I'm watching all the pots. And the one thing I've learned from watching is that I don't even drink tea. I'm just watching water boil. And it's time I bought some milk.
>>70562805
You think this calls for a measured respone? Ray, I've never even owned a ruler.
Life's like a box of chocolates, Ray. You take a bite of one that looks nice and then it turns out its full of that fucking creamy pineapple bullshit. I'm so sick of this shit Ray why do the even make that flavor?
Caspere knew this.
>>70562043
kek
>>70561274
>>70560052 (OP)
>>70560228 (You)
>>70560239 (You)
Well, congratulations!
You got yourself caught!
Now what's the next step in your master plan?
I'd like to see Vince Vaughan play more sociopathic gangster types going forward. It's a surprise he hasn't played more of them to be perfectly honest.
You know how they say you have to crack a few eggs to make an omelette. Well Im all outta eggs, and I'm the omelette. And its way past breakfast time.
based Frankposting
>>70562369
>You might have the box of legos, but I've got the instruction manual.
DARING
SYNTHESIS
>>70560052
Best character in the show desu.
Season 2 was goat
They say it takes two to tango.
But here we are Ray.
Dancing the Macarena.
