>"This isn't the real world, this is Canada."
Fucken hell, really? Is Kevin Smith the worst at writing dialogue?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cawQWKsqXmA
What the fuck is a yoga hoser
also Kevin Smith is a fat shit that needs a heart attack real soon
>>70537405
Kevin Smith has been shit since Mallrats.
>>70537405
honestly it looks pretty fun for a kids movie.
His a hack, puts his wife and kid in a dumb fucking movie. Claimed he was done with that whole universe keeps returning to it with Clerks. Fucking Tusk
I bet they fuck like all the time
Why is Kevin Smith so obsessed with Canada?
>>70537405
as a canadian I despise him
>>70537587
>smith is still insecure manchild who refuses to wear proper clothes in front of his own grown daughter
He disowns it and calls it his kid's movie. Way to throw your kid under the bus, douche.
A NEENYER NARNY?????
>be a director
>make your underage daughter do lewd scenes
this looks beyond awful
what the fuck
who greenlit this
>>70537405
Are they both his kids or just the ugly one?
>>70537742
fat
>>70537720
kill me
>>70537799
the chick on the right is his daughter the other is Johnny Depps kid
>>70537587
she looks like the poor mans alison haislip
movies are all an elaborate money laundering scheme
I want to impregnate Lily Rose Depp.
>>70537405
>sorry aboot that
LOL GET IT CANADIAN ACCENTS!
Holy fuck it just keeps getting worse and worse
lily rose depp is cute af tho
>>70537405
What can we do stop the Clerks royalty checks to stop him from making more shit?
I'd rather fucking die than watch this.
>>70537826
>Hot
Yep she sure is.
>>70537826
>skellingtons are hot
>Kevin Smith is powerful enough to get something this terrible produced
scary desu
>>70537742
like for real, there is no way he doesn't know that people are going to stare at her ass.
Is it creepy to use your own daughter like that or is it smart?
>>70537611
The passive aggression from Cuntnadians isn't picked up by his radar.
lily-rose a cute
The 8-bit font is really triggering me.
What does this have to do with old, low resolution fonts?
>>70537405
This might end up being Smith's biggest bomb. adults aren't interested (he's plastered "ITS A KIDS MOVIE!" everywhere) and teens don't want to watch annoying overexxagerates canadian memes of themselves. the plot is Youtube short tier and the titles makes no sense.
how much will it make?
>>70537587
nice
Kevin Smith? More like Kevin Shit.
This almost feels like one of those trailers for Grindhouse, but it's just a fucking terrible teen flick instead of some good shit. Red Letter Media could do a half in the bag like The Zookeeper about this movie and they could trick people again.
If you want a real Canadian shock/horror/comedy movie, watch Hobo with a Shotgun. At least it's real Canadians and not a bunch of fucking retards playing Igloo livin' Canadians.
>>70538191
$1500
what did she mean by this?
>>70538279
You can already tell she's gonna be as fat as her dad by looking at those arms and shoulders
>>70537405
whos the qt on the left
>>70537405
what the fuck is this movie even about
>>70538218
>Rutger Hauer
>"real Canadians"
uhhh....
>>70538482
>qt
She looks like a fucking tranny. Crazy manface.
>>70538482
The skeleton is Johnny Depp's daughter. I'm sure she'll fill out when she gets older.
>mfw this fucking crap
>>70537908
I'm starting to believe this more often lately.
>>70537742
>>70538279
Do you have the webm of her crushing all the meatmen with her big ass?
>>70538279
she's so fucking beautiful
>>70538521
Most of the cast is Canadian. How many Canadians are there in this shitty fucking movie?
>>70538018
leaf detected
>>70537587
Wy does he make tga fae al tge time
I wish johnny depp's qt faughter had kein smith's thicc daughter's body
>>70537720
best part of the whole trailer bro.
literally bae omg
>>70539250
the definition of uglycute
>>70538279
Thick in all the right places. HNNNNNNNNNNG
>>70539250
pretty hot desu
>Im not even supposed to be here today
Jesus fuck Smith what happened to you?
Stealing off yourself now
>>70537405
God FUCKING damn I hate the memeification of Canada. All of the accents are wrong. The stereotypes are wrong. The setting is wrong. Canada isn't some wonderland of niceness and free healthcare, it has issues. I love Canada but I can acknowledge that.
Kevin Smith knows jackshit about Canada. He's not even Canadian. He needs to fuck off.
>A neenya narty
what did he mean by this
>>70539437
All it needs is methheads and drunk Indians.
This looks like fun.
When is RocketJump uploading the full movie to YouTube?
This is a RocketJump film right?
Because it looks like cheaply made, poorly written shit. That's the joke .
>>70537405
>"a kids movie"
>was originally rated R
There actually was a couple of Nazi movements in Canada. One was the National Socialist Christian Party in Quebec, the other was the Canadian Union of Fascists led by the teenager Chuck Crate. Of course Smith didn't actually research this.
>>70539672
Smith probably didn't even research Canada before making this
>>70539583
>So a canadian hitler
>nein, nein, NEIN, NEIN! SO MUCH NEIN IT'S ALMOST TEN
>>70537720
this was where i started laughing out of how bad it was
kevin smith has no shame and no sense of how shitty he is at writing
>>70537405
I have some Canadian friends who thought that line was funny.
>>70537587
why boner
>>70538131
This. I don't give a fuck about the quality of this movie. I want tocuddle withthat qt.
>>70537908
this
and Smith may have psised off some Jew who now makes him atone by whoring out his own daughter / committing career suicide
just sayin
>>70538564
>>70539746
It'd be funny if it was on its own and not said with no irony whatsoever in a movie.
People make such a meme out of Canada that being Canadian is a meme. It's the worst.
>>70539775
>>70538337
She was already fat once
>>70537720
i actually laughed at that
>>70537587
He cast her as a camwhore on holidays
Only watch this for waifus desu
>>70539868
She looks like Hagrid
>>70539668
it's a good joke, I like it
>>70539821
This is what a dad should film.
This shit is basically Canadian blackface. Fuck everyone involved in this project.
>>70539417
Yeah nobody has ever had a catchphrase.
Fuck off fagboi ... the fries are about ready to come out of the oil.
>>70537720
oh my god end it make it stop holy fuck jesus why
>>70539964
Exactly. It's even worse when it's being done by Kevin Smith, who doesn't have a semblance of Canadian blood in him.
Kevin Smith if you're reading this, just stop. Seriously, what made you original in the 90s is long dead. You've turned into a giant cliche of who we were in the mid to later 90s and you refuse to give it up and move on with your career. You suck, and I burned my dogma poster 4 years ago because you suck so bad. Fuck you, thank and good night.
>>70540155
someone make a change.org petition to urge kevin smith to stop
This is playing into my giantess fetish nicely. And girls in yoga pants.
Also the film is made for about three million dollars and makes its money back right away by distribution sales. It literally can't bomb because it's already made its money back.
>>70539868
She looks like Amy Buttercheeks Bingaman.
what the fuck is wrong with kevin smith
>>70540391
He has no self awareness whatsoever.
>>70540465
What is he wearing, shorts made for fat tall people or pants for trees
>>70540391
i think he had a whole think planned for the early 2000s to end the view askview universe in a cool way but jason mewes became a junkie and everyone he knew with talent went on to bigger and better things.
>>70537771
I N D I E C I N E M A
>>70540465
the90's.jpg
>>70540391
He doesn't have Mosier working for him anymore.
>>70537405
christ.
not even discount store ASR can save this shit.
>Walt bry and q are too close of friends of Kevin
>they cannot shit on this and tusk like they normally would
Imagine if they recorded an episode like they did for TFA where they just shit all over Kevin's last few movies like we all know they want to
>>70540864
TESD is objectively better than any podcast Kevin does.
>>70537771
He did.
>>70537405
it must suck to be depps daughter right now
him and smith literally just got together and said lets make a movie to make our kids famous lel
now he's a hobo who beats his wife before her movie comes out
>>70541073
what am i watching
Is this real? Is it coming to theaters or is it straight to DVD/streaming junk? It just looks so bad, it's like one of those super exaggerated movies characters in sitcoms watch.
>>70541073
PAWG
>>70541115
Canada only has themselves to blame for this.
When Canada was becoming a meme country, Canadians just played along instead of fighting back.
Austrians, your country is next too if you keep playing along with the "le upside down xD" meme.
>>70541073
Thick Thread?
>>70541227
Delete this immediately.
Why don't fat people kill themselves?
It would make the world so much better
>>70541073
When was Canada not a joke?
>>70541077
She's too busy spending her nights doing lines of coke with vain narcissistic male models to care 2bh.
>>70539964
this, let's start a boycott on twitter, i want to see if we can get a paragraph post out of Kevin.
>>70541325
Is this his wife?
Canada, you can't feel good to be represented like this.
>>70541359
Pre-Trudeau.
Trudeau and post-Trudeau years are the time of the Canadian Joke.
Looks unique and sexy. But if you wish to watch Haunted House movie 6000 or Capeshitter 4 instead then be my guest.
>>70541501
LOL no this is his wife
>>70541564
honestly, i don't. especially when it's coming from a libtard like Kevin and his daughter who post self righteous 3 paragraph posts on instagram about social issues every weekend.
it's like making a film set in africa and going OOGA BOOGA OOOH OOHH AAH AHH
>>70541705
Still better than expected.
>>70541705
who is the broad on the far right?
his mom?
Scan BC: The Movie when?
>>70537405
So why is the guy who got turned into the walrus in the prequel a yoga teacher now? Or is this just lazy casting?
>>70541705
Look at the way he's dressed. The very definition of a man-baby.
>>70541811
good point
>>70540864
What's wrong with Tusk?
>>70537742
Didn't he force his wife wear a see through shirt in Clerks 2 ?
>>70541564
Better than how Trudaeu is presenting himself to the world.
Him and his wife need to get sucked up by a tornado.
not even Lily Rose can get me to watch this garbage
well, maybe
>>70541843
She looked so fucking gross in that movie. Like a meaty rubber mask for a face. I had no idea that was his bitch.
>>70541908
That is Johnny's little girl.
A FUCKING LEAF
>>70541977
solid parenting job amirite?
>>70540960
Yeah I started off with J&SBGO when it was new but didn't start listening to TESD until last year. I was surprised at how good it was it's probably the best podcast I know of.
It's so weird listening to it because Kevin seems to be like the personification of everything they hate
>>70537405
As a Canadian, I am deeply offended by this trailer. Canada is a multicultural nation that has welcomed many immigrants and refugees over decades, and yet this film portrays only white people. Even worse, this film seems to take place in Winnipeg, a city with a noticeable Aboriginal history and population, and yet I see no representation. Any portrayal of Canada without celebrating its rich history and diversity is a false (and anglocentric and racist) portrayal.
>>70537405
Left girl is cute
>>70537405
I was ready to hate it, because Kevin Smith, but that actually looks alright.
>>70542105
>aboriginal history
So hundreds of years of passing out drunk in the snow?
>>70542107
a little bit
>>70542089
>all those incessant jumpcuts
Fuck I hate web 2.5
>>70542105
It's a post Jay and Sipent Bob, on weed, nu-Kevin Smith movie. Of course it's just going to be white people and over the top dumb shit happening.
Also senior party. Ugh.
>>70541705
She did not age well at all. shes one year younger than him and she literally looks that she could be his mom.
From everything I've heard she seems like a complete bitch
>>70538191
Uno farto.
>>70542141
Pretty much this.
>get regular land cheque
>spend it all on pot and cheap alcohol
>pass out on couch watching Resident Evil
>watch up with nothing but 4 dollars in pocket
>end up buying some mouth wash for a quite drink
>>70542223
It's a compilation of vines.
would go to the theater and masturbate to this shit/10
>>70541827
>>70541908
I wonder if Amber taught her some stuff
>>70542089
I have a boner...is this normal?
>>70542568
why do you think she got with Johnny in the 1st place?
>>70537405
honestly, he only ever had one good story to tell, and that was Clerks.
nothing was good after that. nothing.
>>70542601
nah, if you're dick can keep up with all the cutting and jumping then that means you have a high functioning penis, capable of processing arousal at substantially higher input rates than the average man. congrantulation anon.
>>70537405
why would kevin pair up his ugly ass daughter with this qt angel?
>>70542776
she used her sexual wiles on him
>>70542776
they went to the same school and became friends. it is how Johnny ended up in Tusk.
>>70537720
The fucked up thing is this used to be a big hockey boy way of talking when I was im highschool. We'd replace the first letter of words with the letter N. Looking back on it we were pretty retarded in highschool.
>>70537799
You're so fucking new, remember daily threads about depps daughter on here
>>70543122
>remember daily threads about depps daughter on here
all the actress threads that predated the dedicated 'waifu' autism were fucking great.
>>70542776
I think she's cute, but I'm real life you always see two girls that are friends and one of them is the hot one the other one is usually cool by far lower on the looks department
>>70543209
Dad's never at home. Can you tell?
>>70542089
>the body is tight
>>70540824
What's he doing now anyway? He's always off on some project on Smodcast, but I haven't seen anything produced by him in some time outside of that turkey movie
>>70539858
>le 'if people were rain i'm drizzle and she's hurricane' man
not gonna lie I liked that when I had a difficult to get over oneitis back in highschool
kek, what a fag i was (tfw 6yrs later and i still want to be with that grl)
>>70542103
Get Old used to be good at the start when it was more off the cuff and just Jay and Kev bantering for an hour. When it started getting more produced and formulaic it lost its appeal
Why is Kevin Smith such a cuck?
https://youtu.be/t_lGaBPbJLM
>>70541705
I fucking hated that cunt in Jay & Silent Bob strike back, her character felt so forced and she wasn't even on the same level of hotness than the other two gril bandits. every scene that she was in I physically cringed
>>70543730
Wait there was three girls? I only remember two.
>he actually wore this to a premiere
>>70538131
She's 90% cheekbones.
>>70537405
i just wanna fug his daughter, i dont even give a fuck
>>70541705
>kevin smith as a somewhat less fat version of himself
good lord
Lily Rose a cute
More like thewurst;-)
>>70544396
why couldn't they have this bitch in star wars instead of that daisy ghoul? or literally thousands of other young actresses that are actually attractive?
>>70539868
>Honey, I really wanna put you in this movie but you have to start throwing up after you eat, okay
>Dad, why don't you just stop buying cakes and eating shit for dinner to help instill healthy eating choices in your daughter?
>You're grounded, sweety. Now go to your room before I beat you with a hockey stick.
>>70544083
holy shit he's fucking ripped
>>70543613
Definitely. I only listen for the 5 minutes of time jay gets to actually speak inbetween Kevin's weed shit
>>70544510
Next time you try to be funny you should remember to actually make a joke lmao
>>70542567
Ugh
Don't try to be funny when you're angry. It's transparent and always stands to make you look worse.
wait, that's not ASR?
>>70543730
>she wasn't even on the same level of hotness than the other two gril bandits
I watched it with a buddy's ex-wife and she said exactly the same thing. The awkward part is that she looked like an even less attractive version of her.
I know all fathers are blind to how ugly their daughters are, but it was really a cruel joke for Kevin Smith to put his daughter in a movie opposite Lily Rose. She's kind of bizarre looking to me, but she has an objectively attractive "movie star" face. She also weighs like 85 pounds. Kevin Smith's daughter has an unfortunate face and weighs like twice as much.
>>70544636
do ho ho
>all the shots of harley in tight clothing
Nice
omg VAnessa is in it :3 ! yey!
>>70537405
Jesus... I just want Clerks 3 man...
>>70537504
It has a monster made completely of human corpses
>>70537405
I don't even mind he wanted to make a movie with his daughter, but this looks like total garbage.
If I was her, I would be offended my dad put me in such a crappy movie.
>>70541220
This is giving me some strong mommy drives
>>70544396
weird face
>>70545200
U R gay
>>70537405
I'm not going to lie, I really enjoyed the trailer. It looks pretty good heimo.
:3
Isn't that blonde dude Bella Thorne's ex?
>>70537405
>I'm not even supposed to be here today!
Bravo Smith
>>70545197
>>70540552
yooo
>>70546817
Is there some kind of joke here that I'm missing?
>>70541184
best director. who else is putting sticks of butter in chicks' asses then fucking it out?? WHO??!
>>70543223
Harley has a hot bod though. Depp's daughter looks sickly.
>>70545307
what a slutty face god damn it wow
>>70546981
That line is from Clerks. Kevin thinks that blatantly ripping himself off is clever.
>>70546981
Watch Clerks
>>70542089
miley 2.0 incoming
>>70547110
>>70547115
Ah. I was going to watch it recently, but they took it off Amazon Prime.
>>70543209
I thought only fatherless nignogs acted like this?
>>70547166
Miley wishes she could be as big of a slut as Lily Rose.
>>70538191
he's literally taking it on tour because he knows the only way his braindead fans will show up anymore is if he brings jay and does a Q&A after the show basically.
>>70544083
Okay WHAT I thought that was a fucking photoshop... he literally fucking wore that to a public event? WHAT??
>literally yells IM NOT EVEN SUPPOSED TO BE HERE at the camera
jesus fucking christ
is this like a netflix thing? that's the only way i'll ever watch it
>>70541705
Holy shit his ankles look tiny compared to his frame
>>70537453
He's actually lost a lot of weight since filming tusk
>I'm not even suppose to be here today
>This is so basic
Kys Kevin Smith
>>70538018
Really great comedy. Very original kevin
>>70538279
God she's hot. Is she of age? I don't really care.
>>70539821
Now this I can get into
>>70541705
Why doesn't his wife tell him to quit dressing like a retard
>>70537720
Easily the funniest part, and that's a bad fucking sign
>>70538099
worked for devito in it's always sunny
>>70539669
This is actually a smart move on Kevin's part. He knows its easier than ever for teenagers to watch films that are rated for older audiences and can therefore make a movie that appeals to them and has more explicit content than other teen films without losing too much money. The fact he's probably going for digital distribution after the roadshow means he can basically ignore the rating.
So is this part of the view askewverse? Do Jay and Silent bob show up?
>>70537405
I wanna suck harelys nose. That all.
>>70549027
She's just waiting for diabetes to do its job.
>tfw just realized that this was the movie that Haley Joel Osment went full JUST for
>>70541115
>>70541220
th-thicc
>>70543600
we all do
>>70537405
A NEENER NARNY?
>Abuuut abuut abuuut
even i know that canadians don't talk like that. also wtf i up with these emojis and the tiny sausage nazis??
he even shoehorned the *I am not even supposed to be here* into it.
JUST
>>70537405
johnny depps daughter is so hot
>>70540465
the cheese edit
post it
>>70548637
Why would you ask if you don't care?
>>70537405
im confused whats happening. whats this about. help
![slacker-movie-poster-1991-1020200910[1].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/oniBsWT.jpg "slacker-movie-poster-1991-1020200910[1].jpg")
>>70537405
An aging gen-X'er trying to make a gen-Y movie with 90's sensibilities with his daughter in mind. Ahhhhh, how sappy and shit. Might as well call this Facebook: The Fucking Movie (2016). Face it, Smith fans, he's an old, boring fart of a family man now and this shit is all he's going to do from now on. Personally, I was in a vast minority amongst my hipster crew during the 90's who hated me because I hated Clerks (1994). It was basically a rip-off of Linklater who does this type of filmmaking much better and did it far more superior and less amateurish with Slacker (1991).
>>70543730
me and my girlfriend were watching it recently and she said the exact same thing
>>70547493
look at the fist, dude
looks literally demented.
will watch because its like scrapping out all the low impulse thoughts of some never was jersey trash neckbeard and mixing it with a viacom cartoon and airheads.
>>70537720
His delivery was fucking hilarious, only funny part desu
>>70544974
literally the recycled walrus from tusk
>>70549775
would you recommend watching slacker then?
looks like i wouldn't like the movie. I'd fuck his daughter tho.
harley quinn feet pics where?
>tfw Kevin Smith was one of my biggest inspirations in film but now feel ashamed to even admit that in public
>>70537587
Did Kevin Smith finally get the aids?
>>70550344
>Kevin Smith was one of my biggest inspirations in film
that feel when you still enjoy clerks 1 but realize you're not 16 anymore and jay & silent bob aren't actually funny and kevin is a hack and none of his movies are good so you just sort of ignore him being being a fat manlet and wearing hockey jerseys really isnt that interesting unless you're a bottomfeeder
>>70540465
Are those fucking Jnco shorts?
>>70541705
Is his wife the small titted chick with the big pooter in clerks 2?
Where the fuck does he get his jorts from? I didn't know they still made them that big anymore.
>>70540552
underrated
>>70537405
>Those cringe worthy Canadian "Accents"
>old man is not a Kids in the Hall star but Johnny Fucking Depp
>show the entire movie in the trailer. including the protags being the villains
As a Canadian, I'd be offended if it wasn't just so bad looking.
>>70544083
What the fuck haha
>>70550464
Best stuff Kevin Smith has done are his Q&A's and shit where he just tells stories
>>70543209
Lily wasn't posted here until 2013 she didn't predate anything
Nice try readit newfag
>>70550467
Yeah.... I didn't even know they made those still. His wardrobe is even 90's only meme shit....
>>70537405
>I'M NOT EVEN SUPPOSED TO BE HERE TODAY
>>70537405
Kevin Smith, killurself
>>70544512
>>70547493
>>70550623
Literally retarded
>>70537587
she has a good body, but my god, what an awful face.
