Do you still leave a tip at the cinema even if the butter dispensers are out of order?
>getting my favorite movie theater snack, pissy shitties
>soda machine is broken, can't make it authentic
>ask them to squirt me up some of the blue slushie
>she says it goes against company regulations and she can't
>she uses water instead
Blandest pissy shitties I've ever had. Unacceptable in this day and age to not have your soda machine working. Didn't leave a tip for her or for my waiter during my in-movie dining experience either
>>70480577
>tipping
>>70480577
Is this bait or do Americans really have butter dispensers?
>>70480577
SWEET JESUS
America?
I bring my own stick of butter just in case
I also like to stick pieces of popcorn onto my stock and pretend it's corn on the cob.
>when the theater jester makes fun of your shirt in front of everyone
>>70481029
I was the assigned theater jester last week, how the fuck are you supposed to concentrate on the movie while you're trying to make people laugh?
>>70480577
Yes. In fact, it is commonly accepted that one should tip around 50% of the total owed if any of the equipment is broken and cannot furnish you with the product you desire because it will be harder on the employee later when they go to fix it.
>>70480970
Yep we sure do faggot
>>70481297
why would you bring birds to the movies
>>70481369
>he doesn't bring his falcon to see flicks
What a loser.
>>70480577
fuck off
>>70481297
>singles policy
>YFW it will actually happen to prevent mass shootings
>YFW MEME MAGIC
>>70481369
If I don't bring Xavier, my dedicated kino falcon, the head cinema falcon usually sees me as defenseless prey and drops an anvil on my head.
the cinema clinic charged me $5000, my Kinosurance went up to $350/mo and class 4 Kinometography Licence was revoked.
>>70481029
>>70481094
Better to be the theater jester than get selected for the theater gladiator arena. Some of the higher end theaters put you up against bears and manticores, it's impossible to enjoy the flick while fighting for your life.
>>70480577
>not bringing your own butter and melting it over your corn with a lighter
>>70481297
And where the fuck am I supposed to put my wood logs?
Depends. If I see its broken from far away I dont, but if I press it and it doesnt work I leave tip there anyway
>>70480577
what is a pissy shitty?
Does your theater provide towels?
Bastards make me bring my own.
Who else fills up a cup with the butter and drinks it? Bonus points for drinking then eating the popcorn
>>70481909
I like to use a large cup to hold all the butter, then I take my straw, fill it with butter, then bend it and use it to sprinkle it on each popped corn kernel before I eat it.
>not bringing an ironing board to the theater
Have fun looking for something to do during boring parts of the movie. Meanwhile I take care of some housework
Hold on, you tip at the fucking cinema?
Jesus christ
>>70482103
If I want good seats in the future you're damn right I do.
itt: fat douche bags
how in the hell does both, your body and personality suck?
>>70482035
>not bringing an anvil and proper blacksmith hammer
I fucking love pounding my anvil during tense scenes.
The sparks and the smoke, the falcons freaking out, the crab legs flying everywhere really get my adrenaline going.
>>70480577
>butter dispensers
>>70480577
>butter dispenser
>butter
We don't do that shit here, or tipping cinema staff. (wtf?)
>>70481980
Whenever I get the chance I get crab legs then open the lid to the butter and stick the whole thing in. The crab flavor improves the butter drink
>>70480577
>tfw you pull the carved knuckle out of the Kinomeister-general's cloth sack and get stuck tending the furnace for the duration of the flick
Captain America: Civil War was still pretty good though
"Give a large popcorn topping with popcorn, please."
Oh, I leave a tip alright
>>70482273
>>70482214
Seriously though yuros don't have this shit at their theatres?
Are these the most patrician /tv/ mèmes
>>70482182
>2016
>not being a hedonist
fucking beta cuck
>>70480577
absolutely, it's common courtesy.
>>70482103thisis the only sort of tipping I do at the cinema
>>70482103
it depends if i'm going to be using the furnace or not, usually i'll get my smelting done before hand, but if im in a rush i'll have the stokers load up some coal and carry the ore to my seat while i purchase my crab legs (boiled over hard - side of jelly beans)
its considered very poor form not to tip the stokers for this service - though it is technically complimentary
>>70482444Of course
>putting some disgusting warm corn syrup on your popcorn and calling it """butter"""
>>70482483
that is fucking terrible
>moobs
real fucking boobs on a man
i'd kill myself at that point.
Last time I was at the theatre I forgot to tip the ticket ripper and he tripped me as I was walking by.
>>70480994
I thought people eating entire bars of cheese or butter was just a meme.
>>70481909
i fill my popcorn bag up with butter until it leaks
>>70482562
You can get ketchup or relish too if you're not into the popcorn butter.
>>70482483
being a slave to your biology and food companies is as le beta cuck as you can get
>>70482638
My local theather has chocolate topping for the sweet popcorn, and chilli/jalapeno, butter or soy sauce for the normal popcorn, I've seen some people bringing their packs of ketchup and putting them in popcorn, but I never ate that, and I don't think that tastes good.
>>70481253
Probably why you're all so fat then mate
>>70480577
Do you americans leave tips for fucking everything? I can understand leaving a tip for the waiter, but on the fucking cinema?
>>70482877
i visited an american cinema and i forgot to tip a couple of the staff, then 3 cops in mobility scooters fined me $500 for not wearing a new england patriots jersey
>>70482877
I worked at a theater in high school for 3 years.
Maybe 5 times total I got tips, 2 were $1< and the rest were just change the customers didn't want. One time a girl worker got tipped $100 on Christmas by some weird old dude who was Jewish, she was 16.
Also we do have butter dispensers. At my cinema the butter had to be heated before it could be loaded into the butter dispenser because it's solid at room temperature.
>>70482877
I'm not american, but it is usual to leave tips for waiters, bell boys, valet parking, taxi, delivery services, massage sessions, pedicure, etc....
eating while watching a film - pleb-tier
>>70481909
>implying the public has access to the dispensers
Are you a theater employee or just an ignorant European trying to meme? That shit is behind the counter and you don't get to choose the amount, they just drizzle a bit on there.
>>70480970
Lol europoors don't have butter dispensers
>>70482877
It's like you WANT them to fuck up the projection.
>>70481612
this
it's not that any of us ever wanted to bring our falcons to the theatre, it's just that it's become a necessity over time
>go to see warcraft
>realize halfway through the movie that I forgot my cinema shower pass
>realize what that means
>as most moviegoers exit during the credits, I remain in my seat like the other people without passes
>once they all exit I strip naked in the theater with the other peasants
>line up with the other pass-less theater patrons in front of the screen
>woman loudly crying holding her infant child tightly, she knows what is about to go down
>the spotlights from the cinema watchtowers shine upon us
>the cinema warden enters and orders the guards to hose us down
>brace myself as i am hosed down by the powerful hose the guards use to hose down the screen after each screening
>several of us go toppling down, our naked bodies sliding about the floor from the pressure of the hose
>as the screams grow louder the hoses pressure only increases
>after 15 minutes things finally end
>we struggle to our feet, bruised and bloody
>getting dressed afterwards
>find my shower pass in my jacket pocket I was wearing all along
boy did I feel dumb!
>>70483065
They have it on display at my theater from 11 AM - 12:34 PM on Tuesdays. I usually fill up water bottles at a time and save it in my freezer for whenever I want to see a film at night sometime over the weekend.
Only employees can dispense butter at my theater because too many patrons were drinking butter straight from the nozzle.
>>70482877
It's a meme, idiot.
>Butter
That shit is closer to plastic than anything that came from a cow
>>70480577
wtf that's gross af
>>70480840
>pissy shitties
Lmao m8. It seems this actually exists.
>>70483065
AMC threatres have it out in the open with napkins, straws, etc.
I love how out of every shitty meme thread about theaters, this one is actually true. We also have butter flavored salt.
>friend tells me about prostate stimulation
>he eventually convinces me it's a good idea
>he says a banana is perfect
>before going to see Her i decide to try it
>get a banana and peel it
>try to ram the flesh up my ass
>breaking up as it's going in
>get a knife and push it all in
>masturbate and have a pretty mediocre cum with an uncomfortable feeling in my ass
>all of a sudden feel a tectonic rectal shift
>go to the toilet and strain until my face is red, with farts as hollow as I had ever felt, but no banana, I have to leave as I am late
>drive to the cinema
>all the way through the film I am farting, the people sitting next to me left
>the smell is horrendous, a kind of hearty saccharine beef smell
>all of a sudden a quake that would cause yellowstone to erupt
>my rectum quivering violently
>i unleash a torrent of farts, shit and banana.
>i can't stop it
>it's leaking down my pants leaving an ungodly odor
>I run out crying, seeing disgusted faces everywhere
>my anus still erupting molten banana
>I drive home and cry myself to sleep
>call my friend an asshole for this prank
>he says you have to leave the skin on
>>70482103
it's more about building up a good reputation with the Theatre Czar over time
the perks of getting in his/her favor later is tremendous, like getting first dibs on deluxe crab leg utensils and personalized soda pop steins
American here, have never seen a theatre with a butter dispenser.
I just saw xmen but the theater shooting range was closed pissed me the fuck off.
>>70483252
Seriously? That's pretty cool, honestly. I'd love to get a little sauce cup so I could divvy out little portions over my popcorn as I ate through it instead of just putting it on the top and leaving the rest of the popcorn bare and free of topping.
>>70483146
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7IVJVTUNl0I#t=29s
>>70483065
>That shit is behind the counter
Hate to burst your bubble but my Cinemark and Carmike theater has them out in the open.
They're right next to the area where you get napkins, straws, and self serve Coke machines.
Did you ever think that maybe they don't just put them out in your area cause you live in some shitty area?
>>70483419
How, they are in pretty much every one of them.
>>70481297
where's the historian to check the date of my anvil?
>>70483173
That's margarine, butter is real butter, just fat from the cow.
>>70483628
I've never seen them out in any theater I've ever been to, across multiple areas, cities, and states.
Post your local theater menus I'll go first.
>>70483762
That's so fucking cheap. My theater charges like $7 for a small popcorn and $5 for a small drink
>>70483762
>Radio
>Bug Spray
>Advil
>Glow stick
>Bag of Ice
>>70483716
The stuff the comes from those dispensers doesn't even qualify as margarine, there is a reason they call it "Popcorn topping/flavour", they can't legally call it anything related to real butter/margarine as it just flavouring mixed with cheap oil.
>>70483762
>radio
>glow stick
>bag of ice
>advil
America plz
>>70483826
Here in the US if you get bored in the theater you can just listen to music. Also we don't shower so the theaters tend to attract bugs.
>>70483906
>he doesn't bring a board game to play when he gets bored during the movie
>>70483951
During civil war I went to the office area in the back of the theater and did my taxes.
>>70483826
>>70483855
>His theater doesn't sell bug spray or glow sticks
Fucking plebs.
>>70483762
>tfw used up all the butter on my t-shirt and have none left to put on my popcorn
>>70483762
Uhm, where are the crab legs mate?
>>70483826
Protip glowsticks are for when a good part happens but you don't want to clap so you just wave the glowsticks around. It's a substie for clapping.
>>70484004
During Civil War I traded crab leg seasoning recipes with the Kinokitchen chef
Nigga that aint even butter!! That shit is just "popcorn topping"!!!
>>70483678
Not in the ones I've been to
>>70480577
this is where we shoot up theaters
>>70484068
Why the fuck do you need bug spray or a radio in movie though
>>70484129
Explained already
>>70483906
>>70484151
>>70484129
This is clearly a drive-in theater's concession stand.
Fucking idiots.
>tfw watching porn in the kino computer lab
>>70482877
The only person I tip at the kinoteque is the penis inspector, and only if he grins and makes eye contact with me during the testicular sweep
>>70484104
Well they can't call it "butter" because that's copyrighted by the Land O' Lakes company and they don't want to secure the rights and pay royalties to label the machine "butter." But we all know what it is.
>>70484219
>drive in
>2016
Nice one m8
>>70483749
http://laughingsquid.com/butter-your-movie-popcorn-more-completely-with-a-simple-hack/
http://haphazardlymaturing.blogspot.com/2011/07/movie-theater-popcorn-self-serve-butter.html
A quick google search on yelp with "self serve butter machine" proves it even more.
https://www.google.com/search?q=self+serve+butter+machine&ie=utf-8&oe=utf-8#q=self+serve+butter+machine+yelp
How's the crow taste dumb ass?
>>70482515
I still have that hat
the smell of crabs makes me wretch now
>>70484276
This certainly invalidates all my experiences and retroactively makes all the theaters I've ever been to have self-serve butter stations.
This is at my local Cinema.
>>70484348
Ice Cream for everyone.
>>70480970
It's not butter. It's popcorn topping.
>>70480577
>order a hamburger
>waiter arrives an hour and 30 minutes into movie
no tips today
>>70484395
>crab leg cones
Nice
>its a we pretend to be autistic man children episode
![600px-Nbk-rem870e[1].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/fCglIYy.jpg "600px-Nbk-rem870e[1].jpg")
>>70483097
disgusting
>>70481546
>yfw Mickey and Mallory goes to cinema
>>70484348
do you live in Olympia WA?
>>70483826
Drive in. See filename
>>70482273
its not butter, can't you read
>>70484267
Butter is not copyrighted.
>>70480577
>the cinema
Nice attempt at a false flag britain but americans don't refer to movie theaters as the cinema.
>>70483097
we eat popcorn with salt here
the single idea of sweet popcorn makes me want to puke honestly
Listen, I was on board with convincing people that the no singles policy was real, even the crab legs thing was funny for a while.
But this falcon stuff is retarded, and for that reason, I'm out.
>>70484795
>and for that reason, I'm out
Yeah fuck you too Kevin
>POPCORN
>TOPPING
>>70480994
Pocket butter is a good strat but don't get caught
>>70484245
>he doesn't always tip the penis inspector
My guy goes and warms his hands next to the popcorn crucible whenever he sees me come in.
>>70484725
its salted butter not sweet butter
actually its acidic corn syrup with salt but still
>>70484725
>he's never had kettle corn
You're missing out, though I want to know what you euros do to your butter if you consider it sweet.
>>70483826
The advil is just a typo, meant to say anvil. I pointed this out and got 10% off my next anvil inspection
>>70484903
>he does not enjoy a jug of warm piss on his popcorn
what a pleb
>>70480577
I don't tip unless they hand me my popcorn. And since popcorn is nothing without butter, no I would not tip.
>>70484903
>container of colored soybean oil
holy jebus
>>70484970
If I ever use butter it's for a cake or some other dessert. I use olive oil for cooking and to put on toasts. That's why I think of butter as sweet I guess.
>>70482867
i wish yurops internet wasn't so good so you'd never be able to post on here from your cuckshed desu
>>70482599
Does anybody here think they could possibly eat that entire thing,even as a bet/dare?
>>70485420
I could probably eat a block of good cheddar during a kino
cheese product block/velveeta/butter, not a chance
>>70481369
You don't get to bring birds
>>70480577
Is this why you all shit yourselves constantly?
>>70485539
they're not my birds
>>70482877
I was a white water raft guide in college and tipping has a huge impact on service
We gave zero fucks when we had college students because they never tipped
>>70484970
Unsalted butter
any advice for being the kino singer? I have to perform the national anthem, star spangled banner, and lead the theatre in the pledge of allegiance (which won't be sung)
I;m thinking about bringing a trumpet and playing along instead, but that might get me fined
So europoors don't get butter with crab legs at the kino? Not even clam chowder? Apple pie? Pix dix? All you can grab fries etc etc?
Europoors, not even once.
>>70481297
Where am I supposed to get my anvil, kid?
>>70486088
depends on your contract
mine was very loose, I did the anthem with a trombone, and then I left out the under god part during the pledge
they still kept me on the rest of the year
try calling your supervisor/manager to check if you're not sure
my only regret was not asking to play sad trombone noises during marvel quips
>>70486111
>eating anything other than toasts with caviar and raw salmon accompanied with good champagne
why are americans such fat savages? literally africans of the 21th century
>>70485791
What the fuck does "unsalted" butter taste like?
>>70486334
>good champagne
aaaah the french
>>70486469
Bland, you can get it in america at grocery stores, it's mainly used for baking.
>>70483145
I can't tell if the whole butter dispenser thing is a meme, but holy fuck that would be funny.
>>70483291
>butter flavored salt
I'm going to the U.S. on Friday. I'm going to have to go to the movies just to see if this shit is true. Butter dispensers? Fucking lol.
WHAT THE FUCK IS POPCORN TOPPING
>>70483245
WTF thats disgusting!
Havent seen a hot butter dispenser at a movie theatre since the late 90s desu. Only Odeon ever used to have it too, Britbong btw.
Why the fuck would you tip at a movie theatre? Do you tip the cashier at McDonalds too?
>>70484348
>lil terrorist in suicide vest training gear
>>70483762
>those affordable prices
Why are you lying, anon.
also
>Radio
>Bug Spray
>Glow Stick
>Advil
>Bag of Ice
T-Shirts are kind of understandable but the price kind of makes up for everything else being cheap, except drinks.
