Hey, filmmakers and screenwriters. What are you working on? Have anything to show? Do you plan on making a career out of your work, or is it just a hobby? Let's talk.
RESOURCES:
Terry Rossio's Essays on Screenwriting:
>http://www.wordplayer.com/columns/welcome.html
FilmCourage YouTube:
>https://www.youtube.com/user/filmcourage
History of Hollywood free online course:
>https://www.edx.org/course/hollywood-history-industry-art-pennx-hollywoodx
SCRIPTS:
>https://screencraft.org/2014/01/28/download-70-screenplays-legally-free/
>https://sites.google.com/site/tvwriting/us-drama/show-collections
>http://www.simplyscripts.com/tv.html
CONTESTS:
>https://screencraft.org/screenwriting-contests/
>http://www.finishlinescriptcomp.com/
>https://filmfreeway.com/festivals
>https://www.tblaunchpad.com/
JOBS/OPPURTUNITIES:
>http://www.entertainmentcareers.net/jcat.asp?jcat=126
>http://www.networkisa.org/writing-gigs.php
I'm reading scripts trying to get better at writing them. I want to enter some contests and (if I win any of them) possibly team up with some indie producers by the end of next year.
80's Script guy here
I've been going through a rough couple of days lately, and during that time I decided to try opening up a new project to get my mind off things. Just wrote a page, no clue where I want it to go, but it helped me feel a little better.
>>70331183
Sounds like Michael is going to have at least a few more rough days than you are.
>>70330230
writing a psychological horror under the guise of a rom-com and then directing it there-after
>>70331360
That's one way of putting it, yeah.
Originally I was thinking about writing a crime movie in the guise of a painfully generic indie comedy, but I feel like I couldn't pull that off with this opening.
I don't know if it's just my depression getting worse, but I'm no longer interested in any of the ideas I've been pursuing.
>>70331580
pursue them.
>https://drive.google.com/file/d/0By1TNDXmdstGVTV2T25tRktIVEk/view?usp=sharing
First 3-ish pages of a low-budget horror flick. Also, first time I've ever attempted writing a script, but I'm finding it's a lot of fun.
>>70331631
I remember you, good stuff.
>>70331543
I could see you tweaking the tone a bit and getting a pretty unique crime/indie comedy. Like an accidental kidnapping story, or something. I would watch it.
Just finished a feature screenplay! Well, "finished", I still need to edit the whole motherfucker, but I'm glad I wrote the first draft of the final page of this one. It feels good.
Biggest issue now is getting a camera to shoot some short stuff I had in mind. I really have my eye on a GH4, but I'm questioning putting a thousand and a half on just a body, one lens, and nothing else. However, I've used it before, and I love it, so I'm leaning towards just working some more freelance gigs and getting some part-time, non-related job to save up the cash.
>>70331710
Hey, thanks.
One of the reasons I love these threads is seeing people's work develop. It's a shame they don't tend to last very long.
taking shit step by step making that proper logline.
bigger bitch than I realized.
Not just the 1+2. but the 1+2=3 one, the real one.
>>70331849
Yeah, that'd be cool.
Part of why I want to write this is just my extreme disdain for the idea that indie movies have to be Napoleon Dynamite-style quirkfests, and going in using the idea to fuck with people's expectations would be fun.
The other reason is I've been listening to This Year by the Mountain Goats almost on a loop for the past day. Inspired something in me, along with Andrew Jackson Jihad's People album.
What're your guys' best loglines?
>>70331990
i remember you from last thread
>>70332010
Hey hey what up
>>70332080
good on you with your thing
i hate twee shit too
you gonna direct your script after you finish it?
>>70331990
I think you should pursue it, it could be great. Also, A+ indie writing music.
>>70330230
In the process of making the finishing touches on a tv pilot. I joined this free online course specializing in tv pilot writing and the feedback I've gotten has improved my work so much.
In addition to that I'm outlining an indie, coming of age type movie. The only one I can realistically shoot of all the ideas I have.
Pic related is a little excerpt from the pilot. How's my formatting?
>>70332124
I'll probably direct, yeah. The 80's script is what I'm focusing on now though. Still gotta find an actor for one of the main characters...
>>70332149
I might.
Also, ayyy what up.
>>70332217
What's the course?
And I remember a previous version of this, your formatting has improved a lot. Nice work!
>>70332288
good shit senpai
good luck
So who has dropped screenwriting software in favor of this open, human-readable markup?
http://fountain.io/
>>70331990
>this year by the mountain goats
fuck yes Anon
Finally another fan of TMG, they're so fucking great. Listen to any of their unreleased stuff? it's top
>>70332311
It's on coursera.org and is called "Script Writing: Write a Pilot Episode for a TV or Web Series (Project-Centered Course)"
I don't wanna sound like a shill but I would definitely recommend this to anyone who wants to create and write for their own tv show.
>>70332416
I did a lot of stuff on coursera a few years back with comp sci, it's pretty cool they're hosting screenwriting stuff now. I'll check it out.
Recently finished writing the pilot for a web-series with my friend. It was supposed to be Flight of the Conchords but with two film students, but the style of it changed a bit.
Trying to find the rest of the cast, but we're looking to start soon.
>>70332413
I've just really been listening to a couple songs, finally caved because a friend of mine fucking loved them and I was in a bad way so I thought why not
>>70332475
I wish they had something similar for movie scripts. It would really help me be able to turn my stuff from loglines to drafts.
>>70331990
>>70332413
He's such a great storyteller, I actually started outlined and writing a beat sheet loosely based on Transcendental Youth, but I think his work is best done in three minute increments with his own voice.
That and his novel, which is actually pretty fucking neat. It's one of those works where I'd rather not see an adaptation, since the written format works so well for the story.
>>70331887
Good work, anon. And I'd go with the camera you've used and love, especially to start out. If you're just planning on submitting to festivals and building up a portfolio, it should be more than good enough.
>>70332600
I might listen to more of them now, I've got literally nothing but free time and I'm looking to ease the guilt of quitting a job that my dad gave me after two days.
I'm a fucking asshole. I just didn't want a job there.
>>70332010
I don't have any loglines I've really polished up, but here's a two drafts I found in my docs:
>Three D-list actors find themselves being kidnapped and hunted down by a deranged fan of the straight-to-DVD horror film they all starred in, who believes that the killers work must be finished.
>A young couple meet and fall in love moments before their untimely deaths and find they are destined for opposite ends of the afterlife. The pair must fight angels and demons, ghosts, spirits, and even the Gods themselves to stay together.
>>70332877
>>Three D-list actors find themselves being kidnapped and hunted down by a deranged fan of the straight-to-DVD horror film they all starred in, who believes that the killers work must be finished.
but is that a proper logline tho? that's more like a pitch hook
>>70332955
The second one isn't proper, actually. I didn't write them as deliberate loglines, they're just notes in my notes, haha.
I'm 13 pages into a short film. I quite like it and I'd share it, but I'm actually writing it for someone else.
>>70332877
Good shit
>>70333032
they sound pretty good anon
I'm looking forward to them.
particularly the first- fuck it's catchy
Writing a feature at the moment about a author with writer's block trying to reclaim his former acclaim by writing a book of interviews on suicide and why people do it. Inspired to find the reason why people kill themselves through the unexplained suicide of his best friend in college many years ago.
His grip on reality becomes fractured, when his life, work, and mind becomes upended by a visiting author to his college he teaches at.
>>70333069
>>70333118
Thanks, dudes.
I'll be sure to post my progress around here when I start the process of actually writing them.
>>70333225
Your dialogue's weird. Stilted, I guess.
>>70333273
writing the first draft at the moment.
>>70332877
the actors one is great
afterlife one = nah
Idk if I should buy the rokinon cine 16mm lens for my T5i. give me opinions
watch "mistress" with robert wuhl and robert de niro
pretty much the same story. might help
>>70333225
>>70333273
I think it seems stilted because there's no action to break it up. Dialogue doesn't usually run so long uninterrupted. It's not necessarily bad.
>>70333358
nigga i'm trying to get the sigma 8-16mm
i want that look that chris doyle made for "fallen angels"
I'm set to work on a crew for a feature length indie starting next week and I'm super excited about it.
Also there's a reason we usually separate the /swg/ and /fmg/.
>>70333225
>>70333400
meant that post for you.
the inciting incident that visiting author?
i'm guessing that he reminds the dude of his dead best friend?
inside llewyn davis is also kind of similar
>>70333319
Thanks for the honest opinion. I'm actually trying to play genre bingo with myself, the afterlife one is supposed to be a rom-com type thing. I think chicks would dig it. I'll work on the logline tho.
>>70333478
very cool. how did you get involved with that?
>>70333478
very nice
become friends with as many people as possible
>>70333443
We shhould just pull the trigger and buy the lenses.
Also, what's fallen angels?
>>70333478
OP here, I chose to combine them because both have been inactive lately.
>>70332877
i like the actor's one too.
It's like real life, when some uknown starred in some shitty movie early in life and it just comes back to haunt them, years later
>>70333529
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P503l1lKrqA
apparently this movie was shot on a 6.5mm lens
>>70331183
>EXT. FIELD. DAWN
Scrap "The sun's just beginning to set on the horizon." It's just superfluous.
>>70333483
This is later in the story when he's visitng an old classmate that was friends with his best friend who killed himself and himself.
He's been trying to talk with him so he can get some more information about their friend, when he finally does there's this almost beating around the bush in their conversation.
Max doesn't like David.
>>70333483
The inciting incident being on the way home from dinner with the visiting author, he and his wife pass a police crime scene, a suicide, which prompts him to write about suicide as a subject.
>>70333682
ah he's your obi wan.
who's david?
>>70333610
That's fair, I've just always used Day/Night because of reasons.
>>70333759
The protagonist of the story.
>>70333489
no worries, the actors one is something i'd pay to go see
>>70333225
>>70333273
>>70333401
Too much expositional information, long and unnatural speech patterns, unnatural conversational flow. Makes it all feel wooden. Either we already know a lot of the information the characters are talking about due to the images you've shown us, or you're overloading and subsequently boring the audience.
I hate getting new ideas while I'm working on other projects.
>>70333519
A friend from high school knew a guy that was shooting and she got me in contact with him. It was really weird. Just kinda fell into my lap
>>70333863
iktf
>>70333863
also
>>70330230
I have a DSLR but it's shit in darker areas and when the ISO is higher on videomode there are dead/heat pixels.
What are good amateur video cameras that won't break the bank?
>>70333863
Just keep them all written down somewhere. I've got more than 30 different story ideas and I fight the urge to flip-flop around constantly.
>>70333948
just rent cinema cameras senpai
>>70333885
...not to say that I'm still in high school. I'm out of college.
Just wanted to clarify.
>>70333948
T3i Rebel have always been good starting cameras. Or a Canon 30DI think that's what they're called. I use it all the time at the place I feelance at and it has great picture. And also I don't know how to use their real cameras yet.
Anyone here film guerilla?
Set stories
has anyone gotten kicked off of locations? Workarounds? Ways to hustle on location?
>>70335050
you should read up on how the '28 days later guys did it' it's not guerilla per se, but their rigs were. hand-held digital cameras. ect
>>70335106
Right.
I usually film guerilla and somehow barely get away with it.
Fake blood on walls without permission with a bloodied up actor playing dead shouldn't be let off so easily but for some reason I've been lucky.
I usually find that when you approach rent-a-cops first IN THE MIDDLE OF SHOOTING, they will let you shoot on-location for a limited amount of time.
What's the general opinion on a Sony A7RII? Might purchase one soon to shoot some short films
i've been doing some grip work recently with the promise of camera work in the future.
things are going alright. it's definitely been fun still trying to make a living off it, though.
>>70335289
Great camera but make sure you get either more batteries or some kind of external power.
It fucking drains bro.
>>70335289
Fantastic low light shooter, full frame, some good native lenses for it, adapters for the rest. It's a great camera for shooting if you're okay with it getting a bit hot and it eating through batteries.
>>70335311
Get a battery grip, fixed my problem with the a7s.
>>70335050
No but I've got a short I want to shoot which I'm gonna have to go guerilla on. Takes place mostly in a car, thinking about renting or building a rig. Will the cops give a shit if we're driving around in a decked-out vehicle? Only plan on shooting at night in relatively desolate areas. Driving takes should be quick.
>>70335841
Cops wouldnt care too much I think
whats the best sort of beginner camera to buy to shoot film? im not talking about anything to make a movie with, but i want to try and work on using lighting, shadow, camera movement etc
>>70331580
It pains me to hear that you're depressed as you are probably a great guy. Please get out of this rut
>>70336778
literally any camera that's not your phone as you can't control exposure well on your phone (unless you buy some app or something)
i recommend a canon t3i
>>70336877
>(unless you buy some app or something)
For iPhones, FiLMiC works wonders.
>>70336877
I've seen shorts at festivals filmed on tablets, so I guess anything really does go
>>70332479
Is it going to be hosted on YouTube, Vimeo, or..? Good job finishing it, anyway. And good luck making it.
stuck waiting up all night for the editor to finish a cut for network, i mean i'm sending it from home which is nice but jesus christ i just want to sleep
>>70337755
I feel that doggo so hard honestly
bimp
>>70337755
I hope you got to go to bed by now, anon.
>>70338742
nope! still waiting, then there's the ~70 minute export time once it's actually handed off
>tfw slowly but surely over the last year i've been learning after effects, cinema4d and making instrumental film score shit in ableton
ah yeah, it's coming soon boyz. the true kino. now if only i could get a grip on cinematography so my shit doesn't look like home movies.
>>70338850
we should work together friendo
>>70338850
>i've been learning after effects
learning how to make some fancy lower thirds...figured that'd be the most practical thing to start with when you work in reality
>>70338832
Sounds like some kind of torture. I hope you get to sleep in tomorrow, at least.
>>70338850
Protip: Learn about photography first. Then, apply that to motion. You'll have a decent base to work off of.
>>70338998
i do, still beats the old days riding the night shift when a cut wasn't done until 6am - and that one had to be sent from the office.
>>70330230
Well I'm currently trying to make a short film to apply to college, but I've been through 7 drafts and different pitches but still can't find something that I'm completely satisfied with. Getting frustrated and the film needs to be done by the end of this month...
>>70339172
Making an existential coffee movie where the MC kills himself is always a winner. Or make an action gunfight movie revolving around a briefcase.
>>70339172
What in particular are you getting stuck on? Are you applying to a writing program, or something else?
>>70335050
I have gotten
>kicked out of the mall
>pulled over for speeding while filming background plates on the freeway
>had guns drawn on us by the police while filming a shootout using airsoft guns as props
It was all worth it for 28 solid minutes of the running time, it's all there on the screen.
Fuck, I miss making short films.
>>70339226
Well actually, it's film school. The thing is that I'm constricted by a specific format, which means that the short cannot be more than 5 minutes long and must also follow one of 4 different topics that I get to choose from. I really don't want to make anything generic, and the ideas I've had so far are not necessarily bad, but they just divert too much from the topics I can choose from.
I have a GH2, a wide, a telephoto and 3 batteries. I'm about to just make due with this for now, I mean Tangerine was shot on an iPhone ffs. With what I got, I can shoot full HD and have control over depth of field and exposure so why should I spend more money that I don't have? My only real issue is shooting in 16:9 because the guides for 2:35:1 are awful. Has there been any films shot in 16:9?
>>70339321
damn dawg, you got a link to that shit?
>>70339353
taxi driver
and plenty others
get an anamorphic lens desu
or fake the look with diy youtube vids
finished one, starting another. how the fuck do i sell this thing, every nigger says something different
>>70339411
Your first one almost definitely isn't going to sell. If you really think it's that good, submit it to some contests. If you win, you'll get interest. Pretty much the only way if you've only got the one.
>>70339411
feature or short?
shorts dont sell
I'm a newfag to film making I have written a short film and want to make it the camera I own is a Panasonic hc w570m is that good enough to make a short film on or should I wait until I can get a better one?
>>70339466
and what if i have more than one. will probably have about four by the end of the year
>>70339470
feature. going for the throat
>>70339341
If you list the 4 topics I'll try in come up with some ideas, but if you want to be all honest and come up with it yourself thats cool too
>>70339402
There's a trailer for it on YouTube I slapped together years ago, but it has my name on it and I'd prefer to not post it on any Chan boards, haha. I'd delete it but I lost access to the account years ago. It's just a shitty student film I did with a literal zero budget. I'm still pretty proud of it. I was then only student who broke like, 7 minutes of running time and was given a special screening during a student showcase. Pretty embarrassing to be honest.
Posting an excerpt of my spec-script for, well, look at it, and going to sleep. I expect real critique when I wake up please. Thanks.
Goodnight.
>>70339523
Dude, Tangerine was filmed with an iPhone. Just use what you have and go for it.
>>70339563
Night night, anon.
>>70339548
just submit it, if it gets into festivals, then you talk to as MANY people as possible and market the film like no tomorrow
>>70339548
Then you can send out query letters to agents and have something to show when they ask "what else you got?", probably still won't sell, but it'll maybe get you work.
>tfw take shitty movies, plop them into premiere/audition and try to cut a better movie
anybody else this autistic? i spent weeks cutting down BvS into something a little bit more watchable and showed a buddy and even he agreed it was better.
>>70332789
Two days anon, really?
>>70340032
eh, nothing wrong with that, gives you a structure to work in
>>70340032
There's literally entire communities that do this, anon. They're called fanedits
https://drive.google.com/open?id=0B9ctvuy2ZREzOUp5YkVtZGVwYWs
cut this recently
>>70340738
Very good.
>>70332789
>two days
Kill yourself.
curse you progress bar
>>70340931
thanks!
>>70341160
what is that, avid?
>>70341201
yeah
>>70331183
>looking contemplative
>drops into a scowl
...babbes first script huh?
>>70341239
been using premiere for years and never gave avid a shot. what's better about it?
>>70331183
>Scott Peterson
Is this movie about the teen years of a guy that murdered his wife?
>>70341272
well if you work with other editors/assistants you can all work in one project at the same time, that's basically why it's the primary film/tv NLE
>>70332789
you know how hard it is to get a job? you could've gotten budget money together.
>>70341094
i agree with this anon
>>70341272
It's basically the industry standard, and once you get used to the learning curve you can do a lot more with/do it faster than premiere
>>70331183
How old are they? Sounds like immature punks. good intro, im hooked.
Also, just a note. You don't use "ing". Things just happen. "The sun is low. The sun sets."
"LOOKS contemplative" "He's got a bottle on his hand. His expression changes."
Idk, take it with a grain of salt.
>>70341242
You are a fucking asshole who needs to stay out of these threads.
>>70341371
You're doing it right.
>>70339563
These journalists don't seem to care about investigating the room of the person they are interviewing.
Make them have more presence by having one of them scoping out the place/ detective style
P84. Maybe change it to "Melvin; Well, you were wrong about Skinner."
If the CPT is scheming on a level? I think less words with aggression might sting more?
Why does Richard laugh?
The last parts of the page feel "groovey" like an old cop show but I'm not sure how good that will come across if your actors can't deliver.
Also, why would CAPT leave his room? Maybe Melvin can be trying to handle the door, while Richard is looking for clues or whatever it is these journalists are after
>>70340738
Is that score from Winter Soldier?
>>70341916
Pacific Rim
>wanted to get some serious writing in tonight
>spent the entire night shitposting and now it's almost morning
>>70339172
Why don't you write a short about a memorable day in any time of your life. The draft would probably somewhere around 5 pages right? Then add whatever regulations they're asking of you.
Maybe write a 5 page short story and transfer it to script format?
>>70342082
i forgot to mention to exaggerate
>>70339563
richard says "I don't know why anyone would take drugs" Is that supposed to be a joke?
>>70333225
They're too easy going. What if they have beef with each other but circumstances brings them together?
>>70333816
David seems lacks any visible motivation from the 2 pages i've read. He's too much of a nice guy.
If his best friend killed himself, i would say there would be reason to retrace his friend's steps. Maybe going back that road brings back anger from the time David thought he was over.
But right now David feels monotone
>>70332217
http://gointothestory.blcklst.com/free-script-downloads/
compare format
>>70331543
Make it a crime movie with teenagers!
Music video guy here.
Yesterday we went to the color grader. I wanted more time for the edit. But sadly it had to get locked.
Teaser releasing on friday. And management still trying to cut a deal with VEVO and mtv.
>>70333529
>>70333605
Lenses are never a bad investment. An expensive DSLR is pretty much out dated by the time you buy it. At the same time its a heavy investment and with only a few hundred euros on your production budget someone is able to rent lenses that you could only dream of.
>>70333948
>>70333977
>>70334131
DSLR are consumer photo cameras. If you don't have the money for a proper light truck then go for a Sony A7s. But mainly I agree with the other dude, just rent a decent cinema-camera.
>>70330230
Short film I made last year, trying to get some actual funding together for a short this year
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=2114knVbM8M
>>70331849
I agree with this person. It can have funny moments to breath. I would focus on the crime elements first though.
We all know a good movie starts with a good script. The problem is, there is about 10,000 good scripts out there that will never get made. The key is who you know and how much money can you raise.
Anyone know how to get some financial backing. I have no fucking clue. I have tried everything. Tried getting an agent. Tried networking. Tried film festivals (even had success). Tried direct contacting small, indie studios.
Literally no luck.
Just finished writing a script for a short I'm never gonna make (probably)
>>70342558
The scene in the Jazebo/bandstand reminds me of Father Ted
>>70342626
Do what Guy Ritchie did for Lock Stock and just go around to businesses in the area and see if they would finance it
>>70342690
don't keep us in suspense. bust it out
>>70333863
This, fucking this
>>70342626
>>70342550
Going to production houses and introducing yourself. Assuming you got the portfolio to back it up.
Film funds are a big one. Theres probably some national fund that gives away millions to a lot of different projects each year.
If you have something with social meaning or context like minorities, the poor, depression, addiction etc, then you could try to get funding from one of the organizations that specializes in these causes. Stories about homosexuality for example is very hot right now and theres so much funding flying around.
Enroll for contests that give you a starter budget.
Crowd fund it (most annoying and im never doing that again)
If you tried all those things then maybe your portfolio isn't strong enough. And maybe you need to go back to smaller budget things to build it.
Also instead of getting funding, maybe look at getting expenses taken away. Ask for sponsoring from camera and light rental. They usually got stuff collecting dust. Ask organizations that have something to do with your film (or its themes) to help out with locations and try to only spend money on logistics, catering and post production.
>>70331183
Seems you dont really take note of what other people say. Because that BEAT is still there. Or maybe you just didnt read the thread anymore during.
Anyways this is why feed backing on this board when it comes to writing is pretty much useless. As is posting a single page of screenplay. The most someone can do is look at your formatting or grammar. Which is at most 5% of what it takes to write a good script.
>>70331580
Good luck, famm. :)
https://join.skype.com/IR718GCXNU4M
Get in and share some work. post some scripts. get some feedback
>>70341308
>>70341239
How does it communicate with other software packages like after effects? I might wanna switch at some point. And how are the system requirements on consumer computers?
>>70341320
Probably should tb h
>>70341371
Thanks, I'll work on that formatting a bit. Yeah, they're supposed to be teenagers/early 20's.
>>70341242
Did I not mention I'm working on that 80's inspired script?
>>70342537
>go full Tarantino-inspired student film
I want it to seem reasonable that they're teenagers.
Just wrapped on a nightmare of a feature as 1st AD. Ballooned from 4 weeks to 7 through pure incompetence and the producer / director firing majority of the crew.
Now I'm onto a few shorts I'll be directing in the coming 2 / 3 months.
Got my 5 year plan going as well. No safety net, gonna smash it cause I have no other option.
>>70347771
what the fuck is that?
you leaking the sekret klub?
Shot and edited this short film/music video.
What do you guys think?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4V6w4soVPKk
>>70339563
dialogue seems really lazy and one dimensional
man i love these threads
everyones so comfy and nice
>>70342558
guy with ginger beard cannot act to save his life
>>70346058
I probably just wasn't able to see it, might've left early.
And yeah, posting a single page really isn't the best thing to do. I have a couple really short scripts on Drive, if anyone wants to read them.
>>70351918
I wont be able to properly get back to you. This imageboard is not the proper channel for feedbacking, Try the skype tho.
>>70351960
Aight fair enough.
>>70351539
Not bad. There's not a real hook to the story, but if you're just the camera/editor that's not your job anyway. Good work, man.
>>70351539
Hello fellow dutchfag. I thought there was something very dutch about the settings and people. Were you the one that commented in dutch to me a few days ago?
It's in dire need of a better camera and proper lights. But since its a very low budget thing Ill just ignore that.
Since you're the editor. I might aswel comment more on that. First of all alot if not all the scenes out stay their welcome. They don't stay interesting for very long however they are edited in for much longer than they should.
You try to fix this problem by over editting it. You cut away alot in an attempt to keep things interresting but instead another samey shot follow.
The concept feels like it needed more of a documentary feeling. So you get all these short sometimes minor and sometimes major moment. This happens abit more during the carnival scene, which was the only one that didnt over stay its welcome. Personally I like it when music and narrative blend with musicvideos. This one sadly seems to focus on narrative abit to much and even in that department fails abit. The introduction of illness does not really help that.
lastly. The girl has a really fucked up nose. This seems like a shitty thing to mention, but since you were the camera-op aswell it feels worth to mention. Because you should have helped her abit with your shots. And capturing her from her pretty side. The same way an editor sometimes needs to help actors with their performances.
I think getting more people attached for your next project isnt a bad idea. Maybe get a director if you want to keep shooting it or a DoP if you want to direct. But for sure a gaffer and setdresser.
>>70351977
So try the skype then.
>>70341981
it's okay, man
t-tomorrow
>>70352993
thnx dutchfag. appretiate the honesty. lot of the band's work I did, check out some more on that channel.
>>70352993
Ik ben niet die camera goos, maar ik ben wel de persoon die laatste in het Nederlands commentte.
Two of my shorts are on the cutting room floor. Started casting for a third. Freaked out about the festival submission circuit, bros. Any advice for a nobody?
>>70353939
Just make your work the best you possibly can. If you've got anything good, it will show. If people don't like it, they won't remember you, and you start again fresh next round.
>>70353068
Thats not to so its complete shit. Just a few things thats keeping back and that you could focus. A good editor only makes a cut when it works.
>tfw I feel handicapped at this and out of my depth
>>70354805
yeah im proud as fuck of it and the short film is extra footage from the music video/song it was filmed for. i know there are problems with it and that thing's arn't that clear from the first view. but i do feel like we set up a good no budget production
>>70355211
Just a proper camera next time and a few lighting equips to get away from that DSLR look
>>70353168
ahh so theres three dutchfags
>>70355099
Just keep pushing through. If you can make it, you will make it.
dont give up
>>70330230
Working on my girl gang/Warriors influenced idea.
Still gotta start the script but just working on the characters and their flaws and strengths.
Plan on shooting either next year or the year after. Want to build up a decent budget for it.
>>70357948
>warriors
Ayyy my nigga
I have a notebook full of ideas, a handful of which I think are pretty damn good. I've run them by friends and family, as well as anons on 4chan, and they've all said that they'd see it because it sounds good.
What is the best way to get into writing a screenplay, and translating the vision and story in my head into a decent draft? I'm also a cinematographer first and know how to get great shots.
>>70358849
step by step- idea to logline, premise, synopsis/outline-write it.
it's oging to be shit, rewrite it, review everything, startover, rewrite that, another review, and after 3-5 reviews it'll be decent. dont forget feedback from real people not folks who wish they were screenwriting.
>>70358849
Friends are never a good source of feedback. The nature of the relationship is just to different for it. Either dive into screenwriting, but theres a chance you won't translate your ideas well. Best bet would be to find a writer and collaborate. Or just let him work on his own. And you picking back up at the production stage.
>>70352993
>>70342550
Just came back from color grading and things are looking sweet
>>70359060
Thanks for the reply. I can't really afford a writer to collaborate with, outside of paying them maybe a few hundred dollars or something. I like to think I'm a good writer who could craft a solid script with some effort though.
And that preview shot looks sexy as fuck, good job
>>70359024
Could you possibly explain that step by step in further detail? I appreciate the advice anon.
>>70359306
there's not a 'formula' to it but moreover guidelines you can follow that will help you out.
first you have your idea, with this, work it into a logline so that your film takes shape.
for example: A loner decides to go into the wilderness because he doesnt see a future. once there he find a hurt bear cub and nurses it back to health. He learns that maybe there is meaning in the actions that we do even if overall we are scared.
some shit like that- (not a good example, made that shit off the top of my head). but bascailly it's a before+event=outcome/lesson.
then move onto a premise- short summary with thematic elements- fear, love, purpose ect.
then onto outline/synopsis, break it down a bit more over what exactly happens
he leaveshome- goes to woods- finds cub-nurses it-defends it risking life- cub protects him from predator-ect ect.
see where I'm going? Sorry ,still pretty amateur but I'm trying. You've got this anon.
Why bother making films when it will all be obliterated in a million years?
>>70359306
I assume this guy >>70359024 Is Northern. In that case its best to join the Skype where me and him can help you.
Still you can find a writer who will work for free if its a good story. Someone like yourself who wants portfolio work and is dedicated.
Time to do the final renders for the teaser release tomorrow
>>70359306
>>70359497
it's at least a plan you can follow that helps flesh out your story and fill in the gaps. Now you have a better idea overall of how it will look like and go, and you can write that.
join the skype group bud, we're not all dicks haha https://join.skype.com/eKvuBaeLCKVb happy to help if you're willing to put in the effort
>>70330230
>a /tv/ general
haven't seen this one in years
>>70351714
The quacking guy? Tbh I just used people from class for the small roles
>>70330230
Wanna do a little short comedic film about a scientology-like cult meeting in the woods, then an actual alien visits them and they celebrate, only to have the alien tell them how much their cult got wrong. The leader flips out and kills it (via bashing it with their book). The issue I have is that I can't really figure out the ending, I mean I'd rather the method of killing the alien be funnier, and something should happen after.
Thoughts?
had a dumb idea for a short - a parody of the Ring with a laser disc instead of a vhs tape. nobody dies because nobody has a laser disc player
>>70360248
I think you can come up with something that does not have to rely on references.
what's a beat?
sorry
>>70360910
Its supposed to indicate a change in dynamics. So a turn of mood or power during a conversation between characters. But most people think that just by writing BEAT in the screenplay that they are adding depth. Instead you shouldn't write BEAT you should write so the reader feels that beat.
Writing beat is kinda like writing "emotional moment" instead of writing what action and dialogue that creates the emotional moment.
Beats are something that the writer works with, it should not show up in a screenplay.
>>70361131
understood
so it's more of a note to self when you write the word "beat"?
and it's beat as in change of beat, change of rhythm?
>>70361131
>>70361655
should you instead write, for example, "dark score starts playing"?
>>70361704
>>70361655
Its indeed a change in rhythm.
"Dark score starts playing" is a way to indicate a beat but thats something you do with composition and sound design. Instead it should already be in the scene itself. But just writing BEAT does not actual create a change in rythyhm, it should be in the body language or dialogue or whatever.
>>70361877
>Instead it should already be in the scene itself
but shouldn't the writer indicate that somehow?
Or do the sound designers go over the script with you and write over their "beats"?
oh I understand, you mean the scene, as in the visual part.
>>70362008
>but shouldn't the writer indicate that somehow?
as an editor, i think it's similar to how a lot of editors try not to cut with music before a scene is built - the logic being if you can make it work without music it will undoubtedly work even better once music is added in
eh, in screenwriting "beats" are not changes in rhythm per se, and have little to do with how a scene flows (that's what editing is all about). when you're talking about beats in screenwriting, a beat is simply the smallest unit of writing (scene > sequence > beat) and basically refers to a single point of action in the screenplay.
>>70362359
Dumb animeposter
>>70362008
The writer does need to indicate it but through the story. If it needs to be obvious for the audience then it should already be there in the script.
If two drug dealers are in a back alley and everything is fine. but you want a change in rhythm maybe to suggest that things might not look as kosher as they are. You don't want to write "BEAT" to indicate that change. No you write what changes that rhythm, maybe a car drives by and someone looks from the corner of his eyes. Maybe a sound is heard in the distance.
If two lovers fight,and the man is attaching the woman. You don't just write BEAT to indicate that now the woman will attack. No you write the dialogue in such a fucking way that even a retard can understand by just reading the story that the rhythm has changed. Maybe the wife throws some information into the mix that the man thought was a secret he kept. Thats a change in rhythm.
Some people use BEAT as a way of indicating a slight pause in dialogue or action. But I also don't agree with that. Because that pause does not happen in a void, The actors don't just freeze and stare at nothing for 2 seconds before continuing, even that pause is something either in action or the surrounding environment.
I don't know where this lazy use of beat came from but I see it to often. Show us what happens when there is a change in rhythm, show us when there is a pause. Maybe when you are directing (and only when you are actually going to the set) you can have a personal script with the beats noted down, just so you can remind yourself if the actual scene places enough emphasis on that beat.
>>70362359
>>70362433
>>70362578
Let me quickly add that the "dumb animeposter" is actually right. Beats are also a measurement. The same way a music piece(story) is made out of bars (scenes) and bars are made out of beats.
But I assume this would be the last reason why someone would actually write them into his or her screenplay. The beats he is referring to is general flow and should especially be kept out of the written words and be left only.
Well I'm off to bed. Tomorrow the teaser for this music video will go online. And the full version next week.
>>70363609
goodnight
is the GH4 worth saving up for?
>>70364417
>is the GH4 worth saving up for?
is the a7?
that shits pricy
Alright, I'm back. Thanks for the critique.
>>70341729
>These journalists don't seem to care about investigating the room of the person they are interviewing.
I'd add that but right now I'm not sure it would be appropriate for private journalists to rummage through Army property. It just doesn't seem right.
>P84. Maybe change it to "Melvin; Well, you were wrong about Skinner."
I'll think about it.
>If the CPT is scheming on a level? I think less words with aggression might sting more?
Can you elaborate?
>Why does Richard laugh?
John laughs, and he's laughing because the irony based on what Richard just said (how long do we wait? guy comes in right after).
>The last parts of the page feel "groovey" like an old cop show but I'm not sure how good that will come across if your actors can't deliver.
It's supposed to be 1994 in this scene. It was meant to feel like that sort of.
>Also, why would CAPT leave his room?
You'd have to look at the rest of it.The captain that returns is actually a clone, which is why he seemingly comes back so quickly.
>Maybe Melvin can be trying to handle the door, while Richard is looking for clues or whatever it is these journalists are after
I wanted it to be quick with the door locked andthe fake captain coming in. I'll try to incorporate the latter part of that, though.
>>70342152
We're you even reading it closely? Take THE drugs. Specific ones. And he means 'why would someone steal them'. That's why they're there, probing him about what he really knows.
>>70351610
So, what should I do to spice it up?
