>Doug Stanhope: Johnny Depp Is Being Blackmailed by Amber Heard – Here’s How I Know
http://www.thewrap.com/johnny-depp-is-being-blackmailed-by-amber-heard-heres-how-i-know-guest-column/
>>70194567
God I want a beer
>>70194594
>mfw when im having one right now
>>70194567
No matter what comes of any of this, Doug just made a good career move.
Come tomorrow, a day everyone has off from work, there'll be a shit storm over this article on social media.
>>70194654
Fuck. All I have is some brandy and half a bottle of cheap vodka.
holy shit this guy drinks beer and smokes cigarettes
bad.ass.
>ARGHHHH, HELP ME DOUG
>My girlfriend, Bingo, and I have known Johnny Depp for a few years now.
is he dating his dog wtf kinda name is that
>>70194724
not gonna lie, you sound like a negro, but if you have something to mix that vodka with it could be a decent night cap.
Best stand up comic working right now
>>70194594
Drinking beer and sake right now senpai
>>70195119
Toss up between him and billy freckle dick.
>>70195119
Dave Attell is still working right? Then you'd be wrong.
>>70195257
Dave has admitted that he is the sizzler to Dougs outback.
>>70194724
just came off a four day bender on vodka.
i drink 3/4 of it, then the next day i drink the rest and go buy another bottle, leaving me with half a bottle. the next day i drink the half and buy another bottle, leaving me with 3/4, i finish this the last day and dont buy any more cause im satisfied.
i need help.
>>70195224
True
>>70194954
Not a dog, just a retard.
what did he mean by this?
>>70195335
Muster up some will power and just stop. That's what I do. Sure you'll be irritable and feel like shit for a day or two but the fact youre in control of yourself defeats that feeling.
>>70194954
It's less of a name and more of a name-o
He just basically said Johnny has no real friends or bros.
>>70195490
holy kek
It's quite telling of her mediocre acting ability that you can see how unconvincing she is in still images
That's a special kind of liar
I wonder how much Johnny Depp had to pay him to write this bullshit article.
Also, while he was there the night of the incident, he wasn't there during the incident like he implied in his tweet.
>>70195935
Stanhope really doesn't seem like a liar
>>70195935
>have to be paid to defend a friend from some lying bitch
you lead a sad life
>>70195490
Like it.
>>70194954
Amy Bingaman. Do you understand how nicknames work?
Sorry, but this guys testimony is biased since he's a friend of Johnny Depp and naturally a friend is gonna side with him. And the only other people that have come to his defiance are biased as well, such as his ex wife because of unresolved feelings and his daughter, because she's only 17 and of course she's gonna stick up for daddy.
>tfw no movie featuring Stanhope, Depp, and Bettany going out at night and getting into various situations as they get drunker and drunker
>>70196460
Since when can't people testify in defense of a friend?
>>70196460
>A nigger's ex-wife is disqualified if her opinion is in his favor
So this is the power of cultural marxism.
>>70194954
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WG7pRy5c1fY
Stanhope & Bingo on Howard Stern, good listening. Talks about his friendship with Depp.
>>70195119
Who is Lena Dunham???
>>70195429
He means:
>I love guzzling an Entire bucket of semen from Horse, dogs and negros, shaken not stirred.
>>70195490
How long before Winona Ryder comes out, says that Johnny abused her and even raped her?
>>70196922
Ronnie is the best thing to happen to the Howard Stern show
>>70196938
I don't think she can stand up
>>70197068
Winona has an undying and unrequited love for Johnny
Bet he feels pretty stupid now for giving up on her just because shes a little crazy and chasing after that young hot poon
is it possible he did hit her with the phone but shes embellishing it and making it out like he was violent all the time?
Exactly how hard is it to get your woman to sign a pre-nup?
I love stanhope but I care so little about celebrity and "drama".
Hell I was only half amused when bingo told him on stern she banged a bus driver.
>>70194594
Today I had my sip(s) of alcohol in over 6 months. Feels good.
>>70196478
>something horrific
allegedly threw a phone that hit her in the face
LETS BLOW THIS REAL OUT OF PROPORTION. People are acting like he fucking went Rocky Balboa on her ass.
Based Doug, a real pal
>>70195172
>Sake
this is literally the only drink I can't get into. Just tastes like watered down banana-y rice vinegar to me.
>>70195935
Stanhope is a renowned bridge burner. He's widely recognized as a brilliant comedian yet lives in bumfuck, Arizona and performs at rundown comedy clubs and backyard BBQ's. If he cared about money he would have sold at years ago.
>>70197610
You can call me a misogynistic red pilled cuck but this picture just about literally makes my blood boil
>>70197650
Jesus, what a freak circus.
>>70197565
well tbf shes claiming a lot more
'Johnny then grabbed me by the shoulders and pushed me onto the bed, blocking the bedroom door. He them grabbed me by the hair and violently shoved me to the floor.
'Johnny was also screaming and threatening me, taunting me to stand up. After several minutes, Johnny stormed out of the condominium, but not before tossing aside and breaking nearly everything in his path.
>>70197764
I agree you misogynistic red pilled cuck.
>>70197610
White women. The new black plague.
>>70197294
>possible
More like probable. My GF accidentally hit me in the eye with a TV remote once. I should've called the cops about it.
>>70195490
kek
She could be lying but then I'd be lying if I said I felt bad about a mega-rich hack like Johnny Depp getting his money stolen from him.
>>70197855
Is this supposed to be bad? Because if my mother just died and my wife of a year told me shes leaving me two days later and she wanted millions of dollars that I earned Id do much worse than shake and push her around a bit. Maybe i'm just a horrible person.
>>70197855
I refuse to believe Depp lived in a condo
>>70197610
>no bruise or even makeup covering bruise
Burn this bitch.
>>70197610
lol she looks like a witch queen cackling over her new army of skeletons
>>70198030
There are swanky, beachside stand-alone condos are worth millions in places like California, Florida, Italy etc. my very unintelligent newfriend.
>>70194567
Did Stanhope cause Johnny to beat his wife?
>>70197610
laughingallthewaytothebank.jpg
>>70197610
One day men arent going to take this anymore and are going to collectively snap
who knows what will happen
>>70198149
Cunt
>>70198166
You'll go to work, come home, rub one out, and shitpost on /tv/. Same as everyone else. Everyday. You won't do shit and neither will anyone responding to this.
>>70198149
it phrased like a dufus but yeah, doug saying that shit to him could have pissed him off at his wife to beat her
>>70198142
I meant cause that was his house. And that's not a fucking condo
>>70198245
nothing lasts forever cunt
>>70198149
>Schwartz
>>70198263
kekkerino
>>70197353
Link?
>>70198263
DELETE THIS DO NOT BESMIRCH MY HUSBANDO'S GOOD NAME
>>70195312
So they are both classy as fuck?
>>70198257
Oprah lived in a 4million dollar condo, the stinking rich own a lot of places, here's Depp's private island
>>70197294
UH definitely? If he really wanted to beat this bitch he'd have done more than leave a little red scrape. Looking back now I bet he regrets that he didn't. Id even go as far as to say that he was in a blind (maybe drunken) rage and was just throwing shit all over the place (something Amber said he actually was doing) and accidentally hit her in the face with something. Honestly if a grown ass man purposefully threw a fucking phone directly at a woman's face it would do much worse damage
>>70197695
Put it in beer. I never drink by itself.
did him and bingo get back together?
>>70198405
We need Russell Crowe to weigh in. That nigga is like the phone throwing expert.
>>70198149
>Schwartz
>>70198263
>that smear
subtle
>>70197185
>unrequited
They loved each other and also fucked for a time, I don't see what's unrequited about it. Also she left him.
>>70197695
traditionally you drink it warm, simps from those funky little sake glasses.
it's not bad when served correctly, otherwise i just hold my nose and shot it.
>>70198615
I don't get it
>>70195490
you've done well here anon
>>70197161
Oh you mean literally
>>70197610
She looks like Preacher Kane from the Poltergeist films.
Fucking creepy arse American slut.
>>70195935
Dude you're a really pathetic piece of shit.
>>70198310
im sorry anon
i just thought the laugh looked similar
>>70198623
she left him because he wouldn't marry her
has she even been romantically linked with anyone since?
>>70197294
>act like a crazy psycho bitch all the time
>be up in peoples faces
>yell and scream, don't respond to logic or talking
>hurl abuse inches from face at the top of their lungs
>get pushed out of the way and they slam themselves into a doorframe and immediately start calling everyone telling them you've gone insane the she feels terrified
happened to me, some girls just get off on it. amber heard seems like the type.
>>70195935
Stanhope doesn't have a reason to lie, and if you knew anything about the way he handles situations you'd know he is all about telling the truth on stage, and about his personal life.
Everything Stanhope has said makes perfect sense. Amber Heard is young, and NOT that successful an actress, probably jealous, probably willing to back-stab to get what she wants.
>>70197610
Remember when Rihanna was laughing and happy two days after she was beaten to a pulp?
Remember when those girls that were abused by Ariel Castro were joking around with their brand new partner and laughing a few days after they were freed?
Remember when Madonna had a new boyfriend and was laughing it up in front of Paparazzi after she was abused by Sean Penn?
Yeah, me neither.
>getting married with a girl like Amber Heard
c'mon, what can you expect from a cokehead histrionic lesbian?. You have to be extra careful with sluts when you're rich and famous.
it's a doug stanhope hates womyn episode
>>70198896
Same here except I never even touched her. She just spread a rumor through my high school that I tried to rape her and had my own friends keep me away from her and then had to talk to a counselor and get death threats from her father. All because I freaked out when she mouth fucked some guy for a ride home. Oh yeah and then a few years later when she realized I was a nice guy and no one wanted her, broke down and begged me for forgiveness and to take her back. When I refused she told everyone I had herpes.
Take it from me. The first time you get a whiff of the crazy get the fuck out.
>>70198256
but he didn't beat her
>>70199475
I forgot the part where she claimed I knocked her up and forced her to get an abortion (I still don't know if she was actually pregnant, which still fucks with me to this day almost a decade later)
>>70195335
Okay Johnny
>>70195490
>>70198149
>Schwartz
Every time
>>70199813
>imgur filename
>tells other to "go back"
You, I like you
>>70197342
Prenups dont mean shit, and have been thrown out several times. And no, I aint posting shit, google is there for a reason.
>>70195490
>>70199813
upvoted
>>70194724
do it up anon
>>70195490
Oh my jesus tonight
Is there ever time a celebrity IS guilty to you /tv/? I mean, you guys defended Bill Cosby for fuck sake. So is a woman always the liar and the male innocent?
>>70198149
>Schwartz
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>>70201036
Dan Schneider
>>70199475
I realize this may make me sound like a psychopath, but why not kill her? It genuinely sounds like you'd have less of a messy life if she was permanently removed from it. All you have to do is get rid of the body.
>>70201036
>rape 50 women for decades
>2010 comes around
>oh bill cosby raped me oh me too oh me too
mmm
just like how jimmy saville was framed after death (RIP)
>>70194567
Stop making threads about yourself, Doug.
>>70194954
She looks awfully familiar to a certain director
>>70201036
Innocent until proven guilty. The fucking police seems to currently side with Depp.
Do you actually fucking care or respect the right to a fair trial and not a public lynching potentially destroying the loyalty of a fanbase built through several decades of hardwork?
I do agree with you /tv/ will always side with the man regardless, but in the Depp/Heard drama, cmon.
Just fucking put two and two together.
She clearly wants half his fortune, and the best way to built that sense of entitlement is to either have a child or completely paint the other party as a monster.
Fucking C lister actress going after A lister naive womanizer. Color me fucking surprised.
Everybody fucking LOVES Depp. He is admired by weirdos, scene people, budding actors or tabloid reading persons the world over. The only way to discredit him is to fucking let rumors go wild on some creepy violence related story.
The only way Depp is going down is thru pedophilia, selling drugs to kids or spousal abuse.
>>70202094
I despise actors and even I like Johnny Depp
>>70202094
>you need a legal trial to like someone or not
kek
>>70198245
Jaded prick
>no prenup
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
>>70194567
>there goes my hero!
>he's ordinary!
WELL CONGRATULATIONS AMBER, YOU GOT YOURSELF CAUGHT. NOW WHAT'S THE NEXT STEP IN YOUR MASTER PLAN?
cut my life in to pieces
this is my last resort
>>70197294
He probably threw his phone to try to make it land on his side of the bed and it bounced and hit that bitch in the face
>>70202094
> pedophilia, selling drugs to kids or spousal abuse.
One of these things is not like the others.
>>70197610
>And then he said he's 5'9!
>>70201036
>>70202094
Everybody agrees Mel called Winona an oven-dodger, it just depends on the situation.
>>70198257
That's not a house, that's a damn castle.
