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Imagine being Mike. Completely soulless, drenched with sorrow
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You are currently reading a thread in /tv/ - Television & Film

Thread replies: 255
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Imagine being Mike. Completely soulless, drenched with sorrow and smite. Always wondering when he will be rid of this terrible damp, the damp which has weighed down his heart like a waterlogged mattress.

Imagine being so jaded, so digusted with yourself, that drinking 5 beers before filming any RLM series is the only thing which will make you feel half the man you think you are.

'Hahaha, yes that is funny' Mike says, under the intoxication of alcohol. Acting as if it is his natural demeanour.

His pseudo-smiles grinding together like an un-oiled cog, counting every second it takes to get through another episode of BoTW.
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>>70181907
>>
These guys are great.
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>>70181907
he brought the pain and suffering upon himself
anyone who CHOOSES to review capeshit for a living does
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he always looks like his gf cheated on him
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>>70181992
do you really think he deserves to be an alcoholic, miserable man?

i don't believe he does. he's got a successful youtube channel. he should be happy.
>>
RLM must have more pasta about them than anyone else. That says something.
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>>70181907
>depressed about easy money
its his fault
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>>70182032
but she did anon :/
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>>70182123
I have never seen this pasta before, and I am always on top of the latest RLM memes.

This is some new shit...
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I suppose the only reason Mike puts up with Jack is because of the work and that he can spite him like he did with the sausage pic
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I'm not sure you understand how much fun it is to be a functioning alcoholic. Knowing you can just drunk your problems away at the end of the day, puts into perspective how insignificant those problems are to begin with.

There's always a line you have to draw mentally so you don't go off the edge but most people can live within that zone.

Mike's doing fine.
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>>70181907
>all dat projection
Kill yourself
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>>70182208
Can agree, I don't give a fuck about my problems until they're PROBLEMS.
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>>70181907
Atleast he's not Rich
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>>70182192
>spite him like he did with the sausage pic
The fuck kind of autism are you spewing now?
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>>70182345
the sausage pic anon. everyone remembers.
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>>70182384
The Olivia Munn thing they posted on Twitter? What does that have to do with spite and/or Jack?
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>>70182032
why do your thoughts instantly go to cuckoldry
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>>70182431
What DOESN'T it have to do with spite and/or Jack?

Exactly.
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>Mike only puts him in there as a fuck you to the audience for not accepting him
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>>70181907
There's no question why they started their new show re:View. Every new movie they review is the same old schlock, they rarely review older/more underground films these days because of how popular their web site/channel got.

I dunno about you guys, but when Mike and Jay are drinking beer I constantly keep an eye on the liquid levels in their drinks, and Mike goes through beers like a wild animal during a 30-40 min episode.
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how about fuck you cunts?

mike is fine. fuck you and stop projecting.
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>>70182480
Being a cuck means you ENJOY watching your gf or wife cheat on you.

Getting cheated on doesn't make you a cuck. Being INTO being cheated on does.
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>>70182632
>I dunno about you guys, but when Mike and Jay are drinking beer I constantly keep an eye on the liquid levels in their drinks, and Mike goes through beers like a wild animal during a 30-40 min episode.
1. You legitimately have autism
2. You realize these videos are edited down, right?
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>>70181907
Thanks bro I'll use this in other RLM threads it will sure get me a few (you)'s!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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>>70182192
>>70182431
Jack defended Munn in a Pre Rec stream a couple of weeks back. He got pissy when commenters suggested about Munn what that pic does.
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>>70182632
In the Re:View extended cut you can see that how the conversation progresses is edited. So i wouldn't put too much weight in it. Although he seemed plastered in that episode with the flask and Rich being annoyed. Who knows
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>>70182717
edited videos =/= you cannot see how much alcohol is drank
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>>70182717
1. I actually pay attention to liquid levels in drinks in anything, whether it's a youtube film review, TV show, or movie.
2. Duh, but you can tell when he gets a fresh one vs the liquid levels varying by several sips through editing.
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>>70182864
Okay. So? Do you really think they posted that image on Twitter to "spite" Jack? Do you think they even KNOW jack defended her? Jesus Christ, are you this fucking retarded?
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>>70182865
They've also shot and killed Rich Evans multiple times on Half in the Bag. OMG DO YOU THINK THEY REALLY SHOT AND KILLED RICH THOSE TIMES?????

>>70182866
It changes the amount of TIME that the alcohol is drank in.

Holy shit, no wonder Mike and Jay never interact with fans. You people are the biggest fucking idiots on the planet.
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>>70182934
The way Jack talks about those things all the time on stream I don't doubt that he talks about it in real life a lot as well. If they discussed X-Men at all I'm sure it's come up (as it was important enough for Mike to post a picture on Twitter about it). You make it sound like he did it solely to spite Jack. I never suggested such a thing. Why are you so upset about this? Calm down love
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>>70182928
>>70182866
>>70182864
>>70182632
Wow, the autism is real.
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Anon saw Mike and Jesse leave a jewelry store in a mall in Milwaukee. Seeing as Jesse is basically unemployed (a directors credit is not actual work) then it stands to reason Mike bought it, most likely with Patreon cash.
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>>70183079
You literally said in an earlier post that Mike posted that image specifically to spite Jack.
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>>70182934
>>70183003
What the fuck is wrong with this guy
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>>70183105
>implying half of this thread isn't just trying to get a rise out of real fans

no autism, only small bants and trolls
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>>70183136
Hold the phone! Are you saying that people purchase goods and services with the money they make from doing their job???? You've uncovered the conspiracy of the century, anon!
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>ywn go to school with AIDSmoby's kids and bully them for their names and hairlines

;_;
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>>70183155
No, Jack is the subject of the post and the picture is only mentioned as one of the ways he could spite him. It in no way says that he posted it solely or specifically for that purpose.
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>>70183215
Well, you're right. I will never do that because I'm not a worthless retard that picks on children.
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>>70183162
I don't know but he gets upset about nothing very easily. Jack?
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>>70183162
>>70183204
>>70183252
GET OUT JACK
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>>70183252
jack pls
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>>70183373
>>70183328
>>70183286
>durr I'm pretending I'm talking directly to the person I'm making fun of
Kill yourself
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>>70183432
jack pls
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>>70182480
projection
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>>70183215
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>>70183468
LOL gotem
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this thread is a fucking shambles
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>>70183633
>a fucking shambles
>a shambles
In shambles. This thread is IN shambles. Learn how to use words correctly, anon.
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>>70183252
>i frequent reddit
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>>70183732
>not being an illiterate faggot = reddit
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>>70183215

>tfw Jack will never come to your house complaining that your son is bullying his kids and that we should peacefully talk this over and straighten things out but that never happens because you would call him a pussy faggot and threaten to get your gun and shoot him for tresspassing if he doesn't leave your fucking property
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>>70183501
what kind of hair you want, Mywifeson?
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>>70183633
is this a DC thread?
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>>70183215
MYSON PACKARD VS PETER PARKER PACKARD
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C'mon guys. There's edgy, and there's people's kids edgy.
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>>70184226
More like
>there's normal /tv/ autism, and then there's RLM thread autism
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I miss old RLM threads before Gilchrist ruined everything
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>>70184313
i barely remember what they used to be
i feel like i've been brainwashed
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>>70184313
Gilchrist didn't ruin anything.

Autists that actually paid attention to a bitter ex-friend Brony ruined everything.
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>>70182176
It's pasta in spirit
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>>70184351
(ctd) The only thing that I really remember is that /tv/ used to worship Rich Evans as some kind of demigod, and now everyone abuses him for some reason
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>>70181992
I was really surprised he didn't enjoy Civil War, yet he liked First Avenger, Iron Man 3 and Jurassic World.

Mike is the weirdest kinda pleb. Like the movie has to actually be bad for him to like it.
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>>70184528
That has nothing to do with Gilchrist and everything to do with us learning more about Rich Evans' personality and how he's both arrogant and ignorant.
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>>70181907
>smite

you retard
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>>70184593
>Mike is the weirdest kinda pleb

at least he keeps the streets of milwaukee clean
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>>70184593
Jurassic World was good.
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>>70184528
>/tv/ hates something now that it used to love
everyfuckintime
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id let rich evans fuck my wife
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What is guy name again?
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>>70185794
>p-please post stale, unfunny 4 year old pasta, anons. Please.
Kill yourself.
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>>70185849
Damn that's a long name. It must be German or something.
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>>70185869
haha xD
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>>70185869
kek
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=odJWMxjWQoo

He looks so young and full of hope here. ;_;
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>>70186077
WOW ANON, HOW DID YOU FIND THIS RARE OLD VIDEO? LITERALLY NONE OF US HAVE EVER SEEN THIS BEFORE!!!
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>>70186077
>a thousand beers later
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>>70182610
good reference to the episode 3 review, friend
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>>70182690
nope if your wife cheats on you, you're a cuckold. that's what the word literally means
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>you'll never have Jay cuddle you, play with your hair, and whisper movie facts you don't give a shit about in your ear as you fall asleep

Why even live? ;_;
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I really like the new show they're doing. I usually don't give a shit about the new movies they review, and prefer them when they're not desperately trying to be funny. Re:view seems comfy.
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>>70186409
only if your wife cheats on you with a black guy, idiot
>>
People wonder why these threads are so cancer, but it seems obvious to me. There is nothing to talk about. It's like having threads about a group of news anchors. It's like having threads about threads. Know what I mean?
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>>70186212
Mike 'the thousand beer reich' Stoklasa
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>>70186634
Retard that's called being a democrat
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>>70186693
that's part of the truth. but i think a major factor that accounts for the mean-spirited slandering and shitposting is that most of us have a man-crush on RLM and wish we could hang out with them. since they are unreachable for us, we resent them for it and do the next best thing, talk shit about them and imagine a fanfic version of their private lives, which is the only way we can make ourselves feel like we're participating in their lives in some small way
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>>70186210
Nobody said it was rare, you autistic piece of shit. Holy fuck, take your meds, man.
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>>70186446
>he thinks Jay is affectionate

He probably chokes bitches while fucking and does other really violent shit during sex.
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>>70187102
>Jay
>sex
>bitches
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>>70181907
CHECK OUT THIS QUALITY /tv/ AND FILM RELATED POST

holy shit you guys are fucking losers
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>>70186912
>a man-crush on RLM and wish we could hang out with them
PROJECTION
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>>70187171
Yes it is the definition of projection. it's also true and you know it.
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>>70185794
Beneficial Cucumber
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>>70186212
Is that a photoshop of Mike's face on Rich's head? or is that really Mike?
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>>70187900
too much hair to be Rich's head
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>>70186077
It's so weird to see them when they were actually semi-attractive and not fat alcoholics
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>>70186212
>A thousand beers in 14 years
Is that supposed to be a lot?
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>>70187162
sage in all fields xD
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>>70184639
Is that supposed to be mike?
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>>70187981
Why could you possibly give a shit if they're attractive or not?
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>>70188521
you better believe it
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>>70188618
When? He looks completely different.
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>>70181907
Thaaat's right Susan
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>>70188701
Don't be this retarded, anon.
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>>70188701
Yes he does look completely different. In fact, it almost looks like a completely different person altogether.
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>>70188701
it's Mike from an alternate dimension where instead of fat he gained some muscle
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>>70188871
nice fanfic
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>>70186077

Rich and Mike were total husbando material back then
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>>70188928
>alt universe mike will never beat me up and rape me

;_;
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>>70181907
>be mike
>tell rich he should do some videogame shit inbetween shows
>people actually enjoying it
>rich and moby start a new channel on which they even upload streams
>pre rec starts picking up speed, but rich still has to throw all the earned money in the pot
>ends up uploading all new pre recs on their own youtube channel, keep the twitch money for them
>pre rec is now making more dosh than the other shitty shows
>mike is now so pissed he makes a shitty wannabe pre rec with jay as a podcast

tell me it wasn't so, pro tip: you can't
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>>70186446
I could totally chill in bed and listen to Jay talk on an on about movie facts that are both interesting and not at the same time.
>>
>>70189122
Nice fanfic, anon. Nobody gives a fuck about Pre Rec. RLM proper makes $12k a month on Patreon, plus ad revenue on youtube, where their videos get 100s of thousands of views each. Pre Rec stream videos get 1-3k views on youtube.
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>>70189220
You realize they're making cash off the actual twitch stream, the YouTube views are just for shits and giggles for the fans.
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Look at these hotties.
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>>70189269
>a small handful of people donate $2 to ask them a dumb question
Yep, that has to build up to over $12k a month right???
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>>70189304
Where is this picture from?
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>>70189220
>Nobody gives a fuck about Pre Rec
meanwhile in reality their videos generate 100-200k+ views,
they don't have to pay rent or anything for the equipment,
they stream from rich's home,
up to 1k viewers on sundays,
lots of subscribers, people throw away their money in donations to get their messages read from rich.

rich and aids making more money, no question about it, rich is even unjusting himself slowly. he looks way more confident now
>>
>>70189329
Whatever it is it's more than most of us make sitting around playing video games and talking about stupid shit with friends.
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>>70189304
Damn Mike was svelt no wonder he fucked lauren
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>>70182610

It's like poetry.
>>
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>>70189578
he didn't, you're thinking of lisa, that's an entirely different story, pic related
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>>70189509
Yeah just look at all those big view counts!
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>>70189509
>their videos generate 100-200k+ views
They get around 5K for most stream videos, and closer to 20-30k for actual Pre Rec episodes (only because those are posted on RLM's website and twitter)

>they don't have to pay rent or anything for the equipment
How do you know this?

>they stream from rich's home,
Nope, they stream from the RLM studio, which is paid for by money generated from real RLM content. Rich couldn't even afford a new computer on his own

>up to 1k viewers on sundays
That's not a lot. You realize this, right?

>people throw away their money in donations
$2.00 donations. Wow.

I'm just going to assume you're very clumsily trolling. A reality in which you actually believe any of this is just too depressing.
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Mike seems to be good with animals AND children! What a sweet guy.
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>>70189850
And you seem to be good with autism. Stop obsessing over these people, anon. They'll never be your friends and you'll always be alone.
>>
previously recorded? more like seriously retarded amirite
>>
>>70189850
Where do you autists find these pictures?
>>
>>70189981
Never underestimate idiot retards with no lives that worship e-celebs.
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>>70189981
I save them from other autists.
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>>70190137
>saving 15 year old photos of e-celebs that don't even know you exist
Christ, how sad.
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>>70190137
Jesus Christ, how small is Jay?
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>>70190280
I'm sure you save many pictures that have no personal connection to you as well.
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>>70190369
5'6 in heels. Seriously.
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>>70190369
If only we had visuals of him standing next to people. It's a shame they don't have hundreds of hours of video that showcase this.
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>>70190369
5'11
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>>70190440
>The beginning of a gut just starting to show

That was literally the day Mike's life changed for the worse. If only he had dropped that bottle and not let Gilchron peer pressure him into doing deadly addictive alcohols.
>>
>>70190440
I don't. I seriously don't. But tell yourself whatever you have to to prevent yourself from suicide.
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>>70189743
>citation needed the post
>believing mike and jay keep the 12k, doesnt know about patreon fees, taxation, cost of employees, rent, equipment erosion, etc.
>calling other dilusional
lel
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>>70190708
>>believing mike and jay keep the 12k
Nobody said that, idiot. Fuck, these threads are filled with the dumbest mother fuckers on /tv/.
>>
>>70190632

Yes you do. I bet you have a folder full of your ugly waifu and frogs.
>>
>>70181907


>Mike said in the tremors review he is 58

Jesus
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>>70190824
And then Jay laughed. Because he was obviously joking.

Kill yourself.
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>>70190758
wow genius, since you have complete insight about the rlm payroll please elaborate how much every one gets so we can laugh at your drivel
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>>70190991
I don't have insight into their payroll. Never claimed I did. Nice strawman.
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>>70190991

Rich gets table scraps from when they are done eating. Mike and Jay split the bulk of the money, they pay Jack and Wizard a $5k appearance fee per video because they are fan favorites.
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>>70191060
>Never claimed I did
>claiming to know how much rich and moby making with pre rec

nice damage control
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>>70190991
Moving those goalposts I see, eh faggot?
>>
>>70191138

Oh, and Jessi gets paid in abortions and of course gets child support from Jack so she and Mike can raise Trison.
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>>70191156
resorting to name calling, eh?
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>>70191210
Mike is a literal cuck?
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>>70186893
hah. classic
>>
>>70184639
everyone else in sandals or bare foot and he's in work boots with a cig hanging from his mouth. kek
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>>70191210
I seriously hope you're joking.
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>>70192194
Don't be this retarded, anon.
>>
>>70191331

Yes, he's raising Jack's son,

>>70192194

I would never joke about something as serious as my friend simulator RLM.
>>
>>70190137
one of these people is dead now
on the inside
>>
>>70192293
>dat retarded fanfic
>>
>>70181907
At least he isnt AIDsmoby
>>
>>70182690
KEEP TELLING YOURSELF THAT WHEN YOU TO BED ALONE AT NIGHT ANON
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>>70189578
Fuck I forgot about Lauren, Jay is such a damn cuck.
>>
Rare preschool Mike
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>>70192487
Which is more retarded, the person who is making an obvious joke or your retarded ass that believed it for even a second?
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>>70192789
Well considering that nobody believed it even for a second, that only leaves one option.
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>>70192757

Who wins in a fight one Baba or ten Jack Packards?
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>>70192789
>obvious joke
obvious jealousy
>>
>>70192836
See
>>70192194 then end yourself.
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>>70186210
>every RLM thread there's this one autist replying angrily to EVERY post
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>>70192863
Nah breh, I've got a dude raising two of my kids, I'm twice the man Jack is.
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>>70183105
>>
>>70183328
Jewelry is over priced.
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>>70186210
Is that you, AIDSMoby?
>>
What is the origin of the Aidsmoby nickname for Jack?
>>
>>70183162
Doesn't want to lose business.

>anon jewelry is tedious and mathematical unlike painting models and playing strategy games which also happen to improve relationships with life mates.
>>
Why don't people like Jack?
He's a little hipstery, a little too high energy compared to the rest of the cast, and he says stupid stuff sometimes. But...

Actually nevermind.
>>
>>70193284
No one is sure for sure
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>>70182610
>>
>>70185723
>cuck
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>>70193284
he looks like moby with aids
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>>70186822
Supremely underrated post
>>
>>70193337
I think its because he seems disingenuous, like he's acting or playing it up where most of the others feel more relaxed.
>>
>>70193474
But Moby is already skinny. Skinnier than Jack actually. The nickname makes no sense.
>>
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Whos worse AIDsmoby or this faggot
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>>70193569
jack = moby

aids = bad

jack = bad

jack = aids

aidsmoby
>>
>>70182632
If every review is the same schlock its probably only because ever new movie is the same old shlock as well.

Sure, i may be giving them more credit than is due since I enjoy most of RLM's content, but I think that they're probably more invested in review "popular movies" because its what's fucking available. It actually fulfills somewhat of a purpose when someone sees that a movie they could see is shit.

Although the opposite would be true of promoting indie films. But hey, they review Green Room and that had a limited release.
>>
>>70182610
You should tweet this at them, this is some quality shit.
>>
>>70193758
they review popular movies because theyre popular and get views.

they give good and neutral reviews to capeshit as to not offend their audience
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>>70191060
>strawman
>>
>>70193758
>they review Green Room and that had a limited release
And that episode of Half in the Bag has way less views than most episodes of Half in the Bag. The reason they stick mostly to the big blockbuster crap is because that's what their audience wants to hear them talk about.
>>
>>70193860
>greentext
>>
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>>70193284
failed rlm project from 2012
>>
>>70193569

Dude you are fucking stupid.
>>
>>70193864
Maybe because people that want to see Green Room don't want to get spoiled. That's why I haven't watched it yet, closest showing was pretty far
>>
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>>70193706

That faggot.

>mfw Mike said in the extended Tremors review "Or it could be Jack and Josh, and our lowest rated show ever".
>>
It's gotta be an honor for Mike to have autists constantly make threads about him on obscure Taiwanese architecture message boards
>>
>>70181907
>drenched in sorrow and smite
>smite
>>
>>70189220

Why the fuck doesn't Gilchrest get this much??

https://www.patreon.com/GarrettGilchrist?ty=h
>>
>>70194115
Almost as much of an honor as it is for us to have autists like you commenting on our threads. Thanks for noticing us sempai.
>>
>>70194309
Because he's an autistic brony
>>
>>70193706
It's obviously Josh, he just comes across like an asshole in the videos he's been in.

Constantly talking over people and trying to dictate the direction and pace of the conversation.

Most of the time somebody does an off colour joke he lets loose a loud disaproving groan. it's a comedy show you fucking asshole, lighten up.
>>
>>70194309

>$90 a month

I spend more than that on socks.
>>
>>70182032
They call Mike's cock the "elephant's foot"
>>
>implying that i have to imagine this
>>
>>70194369
>Constantly talking over people
But they all do this. Rich is actually the worst when it comes to that.

>trying to dictate the direction and pace of the conversation.
They also all do this.
>>
>>70185698
Hoo, boy
>>
>>70194518
>Mike nudging Jessi to scoot over so he can readjust his position
Yeah, truly shocking stuff.
>>
>>70194444
>They all do this.
big deal. the point is that Josh is the worst of it.
>>
>>70185698
That's terrible :(
>>
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>>70194427
I believe you mean Jack.
>>
>>70185698

I loved how you could instantly tell who had never had a girlfriend by if they thought that was anything.
>>
>>70194945
THIS. They reacted as if Mike was trying to make a move on her and was rejected, ignoring the fact that they've been a couple for years already.
>>
>>70184639
Mike ''World Peace'' Stoklasa reasoning with his fellow man.
>>
>>70194444
>checked
But it's not enjoyable when jaash does it.
>>
>>70195098
>They
gbtr
>>
>>70189877
Hey, mack. Words hurt, ok?
>>
>>70195347
i love the rlm shill when he's in nutty mode
>>
>>70186077
>Rich and Mike were handsome when they were young, while Jay looked like a goblin

Holy shit things turned around
>>
>>70194334
> implying there is anything wrong with mlp fandom

people said this shit about gays and interracial love years back. soon enough you'll look back and realize how fucking stupid you are.
>>
>>70195554
nice standards
>>
>>70194871
is that a massive schlong
>>
>>70181907
Oh but his imaginary distress is nothing compared to the real one the sole mention of him and his goons causes upon you. It's evident, the unwarranted discomfort these people cause on you, to the point of justifying it with your own deranged fanfiction, where every one of your afflictions is projected upon them.

I sure love you people, you're so well adjusted and fun to hang out with.
>>
>>70183136
Yeah and then I saw Mike and Jessi in the in the closet making babies and I saw one of the babies and the baby looked at me!
>>
>>70189122
>pre rec is now making more dosh than the other shitty shows
Even their new crappy review show had more views than any prerec episode.
>>
>>70183136

I've too seen Mike and Jessi (and even Rich Evans) spending money they had to buy stuff they wanted! Crazy world we live in
>>
>>70183204
get the FUCK OFF THIS BOARD BACK TO /REDDIT/
>>
>>70196539
>you're so well adjusted and fun to hang out with
then why are you even here? just to correct factual errors in stupid shitposts?
>>
>>70197018
>then why are you even here?
To remind you all of how much of a shitty person you are.
>>
>>70196973
>reeeee stop antagonizing me with logic
The nostalgia critic is still an unwatchable pustule, no matter how hard you lash out, garbage lad.
>>
Jesse is so pretty, she's like Christina Hendricks. How do I get a gf like that :(
>>
>>70181907
>counting every second it takes to get through another episode of BoTW

To be fair anyone would be in that boat listening to AIDS try to be funny and/or interesting with his attempts at a custom Rich Evans laugh.
>>
>>70197249
*Jessi?
*Jessie?
>>
im about to donate to prerec what should be the text (200 characters)?
>>
Hello is this the reddit general?
>>
>>70187102
Jay's a kissless virgin
>>
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>>70197249
after the breakup, Mike is asking himself the same thing :(
>>
>>70197503
What are you basing this on? If he doesn't broadcast his life over twitter, he must not have one? Is that your logic?
>>
>>70197394
Challenge: No jack for two months check viewcounts
>>
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>>70181907
lol
>>
>>70197657
What movie is this from
>>
>>70198068
Foreverially Delitized 2
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>>70182208
I hate idiots like you who say purposefully retarded things like "being a functioning alcoholic is great" like you know something that no one else does when in reality you don't know shit about the subject you're discussing. there's nothing fun about that life you edgy little shit. alcohol is one of the only two drugs in the world that can kill you from the withdrawl alone. not many people know what a nasty drug alcohol can be, you obviously don't.
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Why not use a lot of returns to make large vertical posts?

Something

Like

This

Would

Make

Bigger
More annoying posts than just a bunch of numbers.
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>>70197704
He's a manlet.
>>
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