Embarrassing movie story thread?
I lost my virginity to pic related
I'll greentext it if there's enough interest
did he like it as much as you?
was it rape?
I got my first blowjob during an opening night screening of Seven Pounds. Thank God the theater was empty
>>70141996
This is not reddit. There are no upvotes. Just tell your story, kiddo.
How long did it take for the guy to cum?
>>70142112
Is that how much he paid you?
>>70142175
Alright then
>Meet up with girl at her dorm apartment
>Chubbier than expected, but /fit/ has made me believe in the high-test meme
>Genuinely believe I can do it
>Make awkward small talk in the elevator to her room, figure out she's dumb as a box of rocks but 'loves film'
>"Who's your favorite director"
>Blank stare
>"I don't know any names. I just like musicals"
>Well there goes any chance of coherent conversation
>>70142333
>Get to her apartment as she starts bitching about her roommates
>Tune her out while she complains about her roommates
>There's a fucking cat on her bed staring me down
>0 for 2, I can already tell where this is going
>She kicks the cat out of her room to reveal a blanket with the glorious face of David Bowie from Labyrinth on it
>Mockingly say "Oh, you were serious about the musical thing" while taking clothes off
>She giggles with glee and runs to her laptop to start playing it
>Literal Hank Hill ass despite being 200 pounds and 4'9"
>'Ground Control to Major Tom, Your Circuit's dead, something is wrong'
>She's already struck out, I've essentially given up on her as a repeat sexual partner
Thread is dying, someone bump this shit
You're a faggot
>I'm thoroughly invested in the movie
>She tries putting my hand on her breast
>Feels like old greek yogurt
>Half-assedly fondle while starting to really follow the plot
>She starts singing along
>plsno.jpg
>Start making out with her just to shut her up
>Put on smelly sheepskin condom because she's allergic to latex and as her to blow me for a bit
>Goes on a tirade about how her ex was into rape-play and blowjobs trigger her
>actually uses the word trigger
>/pol/wasrightagain.mp4
>Figure I would ram it in her so I could be done with the whole ordeal
>She's asian so she's tight as fuck
>Grab a toy from under her bed and start fucking her with it to the rhythm of "Within You"
>She's cum like twice now and obviously has no interest in me finishing
>Figure out I'd like to at least enjoy myself that night
>Use her roommate's netflix account to start watching Chef
>She starts complaining about something, so I stick a finger in her while the movie starts
>Actually start sympathizing for the guy as she starts literally begging for my cock
>I guess
>Get halfway in and slowly start rubbing her g-spot as the Chef and his family start traveling the country in their food truck
>With each new city my thrusts get harder
>She starts moaning then says something about Sofia Vegara
>Only reason I haven't left by now is because of the grace bestowed on me by Bowie's codpiece
>The loving embrace of the father with his wife pushes me over the edge
>Our two sweating masses collapse into one as I cum
>Before she can realize what was going on, I whisper "My name is Chef"
Spent the rest of the night watching Family Guy while I hit her from behind.
Sex is honestly overrated desu
So what did you think of the movie?
>>70143336
Honestly that was the first time I watched Labyrinth . Those puppets were scary
And Chef really wasn't that bad honestly. From what I saw at least. Not sure what the meme around it is
>>70143272
>She's cum like twice now
oh son...you have so much to learn.
>>70142176
>>70143505
It's what she said, but I figured she was lying. Her clit got super big though and she squirted a bit. Probably just hit her bladder weird though.
>>70142112
Did you swallow?
>>70141996
I fingered a girl to this. My mates saw.
Wait, that's not embarrassing, it's awesome.
>Fucking an overweight asian SJW just to lose your v card
Jesus niggerfucking christ what is wrong with you son
At least settle for an overweight white one like i did
Chef was okay. Just okay. One of the most inoffensive movies on the planet.
Why did they spic up ScarJo? I literally thought it was a some Mexican lookalike at first. Also they just never mentioned her character again.
>>70144123
>>70144123
how did they spic her up?
The dude had this movie on when I had my first gay experience.
I was really embarrassed because I always thought I had a small dick (6.5 inches), but this guy made me feel like a monster. He was fucking tiny.
>>70144977
But, did you like the movie anon?
>>70141996
>Embarrassing movie story thread?
>I lost my virginity to pic related
>I'll greentext it if there's enough interest
Losing your viginity to a movie. Not losing it to The look of love By Isaac Hayes.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0IzxHKI8PJE
>>70142936
>>She starts singing along
The worst struggle of being a patrician is when she gets horny but you've just begun to enjoy the film
