Ez pz.
>>70004474
>>70004474
>passing through Angmar
>passing through Siege of Erebor
>Rhovanion not under invasion
Good way to get yourself killed while taking the longer route, away from the conflicts of Rohan and Gondor that need your help.
>>70004767
Why didn't the eagles fly west until they circumvented the Earth and got to Mordor? Surely Sourman wouldn't expect an attack from the east
why not a boat?
>>70004474
>>70004834
In both of these they'd have to pass hundreds of miles of enemy territory. Eagles has always been true though.
>>70004474
Angmar fucks your shit up.
>>70004834
Harad fucks your shit up.
Why didn't he just shove the ring up his ass?
>going through angmar
literally worse than sailing to gondor
>>70004688
>flying at 100 mph
>still has his hat on
>>70004952
would shoving the ring up his ass have turned him invisible?
Easiest solution. Biggest plothole ever.
>>70004978
Thats actually a good fucking question. Quick someone write a letter to Tolkeins grandchildren. We need to find this out.
What's so scary about Angmar?
>go north into Angmar
Haha nope. Might as well take the scenic route through Moria and visit every orc den under the Misty Mountains as long as you're being suicidal.
>>70005023
It's where Saurons dad used to live. Still a bit of a mess.
>>70005023
>hey bro welcome to Angmar, make yourself at home
>oh you won't be needing all that skin
>>70004947
>>70005023
Really cold, really big, mountaneous, still full of orcs and 'other' creatures
>>70005101
is this FFVII or what
>>70005101
Going off the map fucks your shit up.
>>70005101
>get fucked by Valar
>>70005132
Could they have used dwarves to tunnel there?
>>70005023
necromancy, ice, constant blizzards, wights, witchking country
>>70005009
>>70004978
No, because it only turns you invisible when surrounding the flesh no being surrounded *by* flesh.
He could go invisible using it as a cock ring of course.
>>70005023
You ever play Warcraft III/WoW? You know Northrend? It's based on Angmar.
>>70005094
>>70005097
>>70005109
>>70005159
That's sound rad. All that backstory is from silmalirion right? I once began to read it but couldn't get through the valar's bullshit.
>>70004961
He is a wizard
>>70005202
I think it's Roverandom/Unfinished Tales shit, but I'm not sure.
>>70005196
But when his body contracts around it a bit of his intestine is bound to go in.
>>70005202
It comes up a bit in LotR, they even name drop it in the movies.
>>70005101
Inb4 flat middle earther fags
>>70005196
if he poops a little and the poop goes into the ring, would the poop turn invisible?
>>70005101
Middle earth is a discworld m8
>>70005202
It's best explored and fleshed out in Battle for Middle Earth 2, which is an RTS vidya game. It also features in LOTR online.
>>70004870
Middle Earth is flat.
>>70005226
Maybe he would be going in and out of invisibility as it shifts to protrude enough intestinal lining through and against the inner ring.
I think it expects more rigid flesh
>>70004688
>>70005270
>>70005288
Could you go off the disc?
>>70005003
Nah the Eagles were under attack too, there are few of them and couldn't spare a couple
>>70005294
Do people need to see the ring to be jealous of it? Or would it's presence be enough? Would they crave his ass(hole)?
>>70005196
Why didnt he keep it in his mouth so he could stick his tongue through it when he had a sword and shield in his hands?
Would a chest hair going through the ring when worn in necklace form make you invisible?
Do hobbits even have chest hair? They have mad foot hair.
>>70005003
That's not a plothole, just something that didn't happen
>>70005094
You mean Morgoth ? He wasn't in Angmar, Angband was in Beleriand and it was drowned with the rest
>>70005351
Imagine meeting the fellowship and finger popping frodo then bam youre invisible.
>>70005351
That would make for a very awkward scene, a sodomy where the assailant goes invisible upon entry.
>>70005356
I think hair doesnt count cause it mustve passed in during their many tumbles.
>>70005363
>implying gandalf's last words weren't "fly, you fools"
>implying that didn't mean they should go north to get the eagles' help
>implying gandalf was dumb enough to actually think they could pass through the Ash Mountains
>>70005270
>>70005288
Middle Earth was made round during the downfall of Numenor. Before that, it used to be a disc, but then men fucked shit up, and Eru raised Valinor into an another dimension type of thing (hard to explain).
>lotrfags always crying about angmar fucking anything up
>literally everything i google says nothing is in angmar during the time of lotr
>LE WITCH KING OF ANGMAR
>literally isn't even fucking in angmar
Shut the fuck about Angmar. Just walk right fucking through. Nobody is there.
>>70005455
Smeagle elbow deep in Frodo with that ring lust
>>70005465
It's empty until you wake some 1rst Age semi-god creature
Given time this would work, so the need to start early. Dwarves should be very efficient though.
>>70005464
It's still not a plothole. It's just something they didn't happen to do
>>70005252
would the ringwraiths be dissuaded to take the ring when they found out its around a turd?
>>70004952
Sam would turn invisible
Great thread guys.
Welp, time to rewatch all 3. (not the extended shit - fucks up the pacing)
>>70005517
Actually that's genius. Just mine a shaft under Mordor and pop right up inside Mt.Doom.
>>70004978
Maybe it would turn his shit invisible.
>Ring up the ass to make invisible shits
>Shit on Sam's pillow
>Await the inevitable
>>70005528
I actually agree, the Eagles aren't exactly some invincible creatures, and they're easily spotted. Not to mention the Nazgul Eagle Interception System (NEIS™) is quite advanced
>>70005530
Could the ring be hidden effectively if you left it on a solid log of shit? It would be invisible and the smell wouldn't be pleasant.
>>70005554
Yeah sweet dont worry about the fucking molten lava mate
>>70005553
>not the extended shit
>>70005584
just flick the ring into the lava really fast when it burst through the ceiling and run for it
>>70004688
>muh eagles
That's where they were heading in the first book/film before Gandalf got dragged away by the Balrog. He even says "Fly you fools!" before he falls down.
>>70005534
topkek
>>70005488
>those big lived-in--a-cave retard hands
>that tiny hobbit asshole
Sam would need to get real good at knitting diapers. Lest they visit the spider lair early.
>>70005584
How much of the lava is need to melt the ring? You could make the tunnel flood slowly and then leave the ring there.
Would it be easier to steal lava from Mt. Doom and then bring it to the location of the ring?
>>70005517
Well thats why they went to Moria. It was they way under
>>70005584
I don't mean come up through the fucking volcano itself, you mong. I just mean the surrounding area. You can skip a whole lot of bullshit doing this and as long as nobody notices you (Which why would they?), you're basically going into Mordor easy mode.
>>70005584
Its already a suicide mission, nobody think they're coming back from this. They hit lava? Good! Getting the ring into the lave was the point, right? Good guys win!
WHY DIDN'T THEY JUST GIVE THE RING TO TOM BOMBADIL !?!?
>>70005595
just put a door in the tunnel
dorf doors are impermeable to liquids
>>70005662
Because he doesn't give a fuck about the ring. Literally, he gives no fucks about normie problems like Sauron taking over Middle Earth.
>>70005581
Im not sure the books and movie would have been as good if it was just the fellowship meeting and instead of doing the quest they just sent a lump of shit to the shadow realm then fucked off back home.
>>70005662
>mfw I'm an eternal ghost who doesn't give a shit about who rules the lands around me because they can't do shit to me
>>70005534
top
fucking
kek
>>70005590
no point. they add nothing to the viewing experience (in-fact they take away front it).
I own them and I used to think watching them was somehow better because more content. But going back and watching the original cuts was way better.
Why didnt they just go out into the ocean tie the ring to large rock and drop it? Unless orcs get a submarine and scuba gear they have no hope of ever reaching kt?
>>70005534
nice
>>70005611
>that shitty theory again
>>70005534
>>70005708
>no closure on Saruman whatsoever
>no Mouth of Sauron scene to build tension
>better
>>70005534
>>70005754
well if you enjoy them thats great anon. i do like the mouth of sauron but its not necessary for me.
>>70005632
>>70005699
>>70005726
>>70005736
Sam doesn't post on these boards you fucking morons. You can't "BTFO" a fucking fictional character.
>>70005534
>>70005777
checked
>>70005648
Another simple idea, just have an eagle collect lava from Mt. Doom and bring it to the shire. Use a flock of them to increase success rate
>>70005792
theyre laughing at a joke, you literal autist
>>70005792
Sean is that you?
>>70005816
Try calling me an autist to my face. I fucking dare you.
>>70005815
I think magical fantasy nonsense dictates it needs to happen in that location.
>>70005838
no you'd crush me with your retard autist strength, if you can't understand jokes you probably don't feel pain either
>>70005815
>that writing
>>70005838
I didnt mean it as an insult, mate. I genuinely think you have autism as you were unable to understand that people were laughing at a joke
>>70005855
How many active volcanoes are there? Could it be this is just the only one?
>>70005833
Michael?
>>70005534
>>70005880
Its the volcano the ring was forged in. That's why it's special.
Why didnt Sauron just drain MtDoom?
Or at least put a lock on the door
>>70005872
youre the autist for not realizing its one guy samefagging his dumn post
>>70005003
>Tom Bombadil
>leaving his territory
Haha, good luck with that.
>>70005517
First of all why start in the fucking shire? Obviously minas tirith is the closest safe space to start
Sauron would definitely see it, you cant make a tunnel that long with out serious construction and scaffolding - noticeable af
>Implying dwarves can fucking map out a perfect tunnel that doesn't run into any water bodies, dangerous gas deposits, etc.
>Digging into lava/magma
>>70005662
Because he'd lose it since he gives absolutely no fucks and then Sauron would end up getting it anyway.
>>70005952
So the lava itself could be special too.
>>70005970
should of put a net over the lava
>frodo tries to throw the ring in
>pull net up
>my ring now lol
>>70005970
Nevermind that, he needed to seal that shit up. Just completely lock the entire area down. 24/7 patrols, the biggest baddest motherfuckers you have guarding it at all times. Nobody in. Nobody out. I would have been paranoid as fuck knowing the one and onlu place the source of all my power could be destroyed was an enormous volcano right on my front doorstep.
>>70005792
Fuck off Sam I know its you
you fat cunt
Go back to planting flowers and fucking your hot hobbit wife
>>70005574
fkn kek underrated
>>70006035
why didn't he just make a decoy mount doom
Why didn't they just drop the ring into a different volcano?
>>70006035
That's actually a legit plan and if I ever become some kind of lich I'm taking this into account.
>>70005994
I'm pretty sure dwarves are born to be the perfect miners, so there would be no need for them to resurface, nor would they run into any underground hazards.
>>70006072
Because magic says fuck you.
>>70006009
I think it's a combination of the lava and location which makes it special. For all we know the lava may not even remain lava as soon as it taken out of Mount Doom itself. Its magic nigga, there's bound to be some fuckery going on.
>>70006072
Because then Sauron would fish out the ring and get it anyway
>>70006095
>nor would they run into any underground hazards
Go ask Balin how that worked out.
>>70006128
What? How does one swim through a volcano?
>>70006101
If you destroy Mt doom would the ring be destroyed as a result?
>>70006072
Because it would just sit there and Sauron would win anyway. He didn't need the ring to win, everyone was basically on their last legs.
>>70006150
MAGIC
HE'S MADE OUT OF IT
>>70006134
To be fair nobody expected a Balrog to be hiding out deep inside the Misty Mountains. That must have come as a pretty big surprise.
>>70006072
Isn't lava really dense? Would the ring eventually sink, or would it just sit on top of the lava? If it's the latter, he could get some hogswarts kid to cast "accio" and get his ring back.
>>70006173
If saurons magical enough to swim through a volcano why does he need a shitty ring?
>>70006154
Why would it? I would assume the destruction of Mount Doom would just mean the ring could no longer be destroyed and Sauron could no longer do forging stuff inside his Volcano.
>>70005970 This
What if they madeTENS OFthousands of replica rings of power and catapult them at Mt Doom?
The entirety of Saurons forces would be busy picking them up off the ground
>>70006134
Maybe they just don't dig too deep
>>70005534
This is so clever
>>70004474
>Angmar
>Gundubad
RIP
>>70006210
I'm pretty sure Sauron and Ring Wraiths can sense when the real ring is nearby.
>>70006040
He didn't know they were trying to destroy it. The thought hadn't even occured to him. He figured Aragorn had it or something.
Thats what the whole secrecy thing was about.
>>70006207
So destroying Mt. Doom would be in his best interest?
>>70006247
Yeah, it was an inconceivable idea to Sauron that someone would choose to give up the ring of power and actually destroy it.
>>70005632
>>70005699
>>70005726
>>70005736
>>70005777
>>70005794
>>70005942
>>70006218
>>70004952
All me.
Now I'm going to post this on r/4chan
>>70006248
Yeah but how would you even go about that? How do you destroy a massive volcano? Sink it? It was in his bests interests to gaurd it with his life and make sure no sneaky hobbits could gain access to it. All Sauron really needed to do was hold up in Mt.doom and wait for the ring to eventually be found and brought it him, even if it meant waiting hundreds of years. He was too impatient.
>>70004474
>Take an eagle to the Iron Hills
>go down the river to sea of Rhun
>Enter through east of Mordor
Why couldn't this happen?
>>70006324
Just drain it
>>70005534
>le frodo and sam are gay meme
hi /v/eddit
ez pz
>>70006340
>i cannot appreciate a fun joke
did momster let you out of your autism cage again?
illuvatar- chaotic neutral
bombadill- neutral good
ungolitant-chaotic evil
>going through Ettenmoors
frodo would get ganked the second he entered it
>>70006399
Explain how Illuvatar is chaotic.
>>70006330
Rhun is allied with Sauron
Why doesn't Gandalf just cast a teleport spell?
So what stops technological progress in fantasy worlds like this?
I mean they described events that happened tens of thousands of years ago, where people still had armour, steel-forged swords, and shit like that
ff to present, and they are more or less in the same place?
Will people in Middle Earth ever discover electricity? Will they ever design motors, and lightbulbs?
>>70006430
What a bunch of traitors.
>>70006440
When you live in a world where everything is just explained away with magic, technological improvement isn't as important
>>70006247
This
Did he skip the whole "A diversion" line from Legolas?
>>70006435
He's a firemage and doesn't know how.
>>70006444
I know, what did you expect from middle easterners?
>>70006416
he's gives no shit until he feels like it
like flooding numenor or the war of wrath
>>70006440
On Middle-Earth, technological progress is moving backwards. Numenor had shit like submarines and torpedo-boats and the First Age Elves could go to space.
>>70006440
>So what stops technological progress in fantasy worlds like this?
Resources, never developing the scientific method, never developing the sort of middle-upper class that's needed to finance natural philosophers (that is, early scientists)
>>70006435
>>70006475
Seriously though, how powerful are Middle Earth wizards
From what I understand, they're agents of gods, right? What can they do, other than push each other around from afar.
>>70006470
So technically we right now, with machine guns, explosives, spacecrafts, and nuclear weapons, are probably more powerful than Sauron, and all the elves in Middle Earth
Maybe magic is actually what holds humanity back?
Guys, what if all those mythological shit about magic and witches/wizards are true, but humans evolved from magic, because leaving magic behind, is what drove humanity forward
>>70006240
But can they tell all their troops that?
>>70006537
>What can they do
They helped shape the world their power is essentially limitless, they are not allowed to go full power because it will destroy the world and they have already done that multiple times.
>>70006537
Magic in middle earth is mostly about illusions and manipulation.
Which is actually a really smart applications of magic.
Why didn't they use portals?
>>70006550
I believe that was the point of LotR. The age of magic was ending regardless of the outcome and humans had to come out on top
>>70006063
Blazing Nazgul Saddles
>>70006550
Magic is just science that we don't understand yet
>>70006511
I used to have this amazing fantasy story in my head, which had more lore than Middle Earth, and it's set in a world much larger than Earth, and as I was describing it to my friend, he completely tore my whole story apart when he told me worlds much larger than Earth, would have a stronger gravity, and hence human like creatures would not have been able to exist, and shit like that, and how there is actually a limit to how large a solid body can be, because after a while, it's own geology starts to break apart due to the gravitational pull
I really wish someone explains this to GRRM, because according to him, all of Westeros and Essos, are only a small part of what the whole world in asoiaf is, and both those continents together have about the same landmass as earth
>>70006641
Go away Sir Clarke.
>>70006616
Apperantally Tolkien actually made a connection between Middle Earth and modern humanity, with something about elves leaving, all other creatures dying out, and humans triumphing over all
>>70006656
And I wish autistic fucks like you understood that FANTASY doesn't need to follow the laws of physics.
>>70006324
Nigga, the ring never would have been brought to him if he didn't attempt to seek it out.
Nobody would wanna destroy it if Sauron simply waited.
>>70006715
>if Sauron simply waited
He already waited thousands of years, correct?
And would it tie in with the "death of magic" thing going on? Maybe he was forced to take his chance before it was too late.
>>70006656
We're constantly surprised at the conditions in which life can exist, plus in a fantasy setting you can easily explain stuff like that away
OK lads, eeezy-peezy plan on how to destroy Sauron
>Gandalf bullshits his way to Mt Doom
>casts the Mark spell
>casts Almsivi Intervention, sending him to the nearest Gondor shrine where Frodo waits for him
>grabs Frodo
>casts recall
>Frodo throws ring
>Gandalf casts Almsivi again
it's a win
>>70004474
well to put in in equivalency, frodo and sam start from shire (oxford, England) and walk all the way to about romania. i think their path was just fine desu
>>70006758
Yes, he did in fact wait, but that was more because after losing the ring initially, he lost most of his power and his forces, and had to take the time to regain himself and his power to some level.
He probably waited until he had the forces built and ready to take on the world and reclaim the one ring.
>>70006777
nerd
>>70006801
Why didn't they just wipe out all of his forces when they had the chance so he could never rebuild again?
>>70006792
Mt Doom is Cernobil or Norilsk or some other hellish place in Russia
>>70006777
I wish I didn't have carpal tunnel. I want to play again
Gotta save my limited computer time for work
>>70006823
"no"
>>70006802
Fag
>>70006816
Probably because they thought he was defeated permanently.
>>70006837
Nigga, Gondor is literally Byzantium and Mordor is literally Iran. Shit, Harad and Rhun are literally sporting Middle Eastern garb when fighting.
>>70006201
It's just that the ring is basically cocaine, he needs it.
>>70006917
stop speaking ebonics. and no it isn't. im talking about distance here not cultures.
>>70006968
You are positively retarded muh man
>>70006992
no. you're the idiot. "mah man"
>>70006968
>stop speaking ebonics
I was literally just about to post this. Quit it.
>>70006837
So I guess in this autistic retarded map of yours fertile Transylvania is Mordor and half of ME is underwater. How retarded are you honestly?
What's in the Iron Hills? Just dwarves living normally whilst the war goes on?
>>70007031
maybe it's because of scale you autist?
>fertile Transylvania
it's not saying mordor is "fertile" it's just the distance. stop being retarded relative to europe.
>>70005639
I'm fucking crying
>>70007029
to be perfectly honest with you family, you should quit life.
>>70007041
Those are pirate dwarves, living off underwater fishing and reaving their neighbors. Their king sits on the Saline Throne. They are known to be very salty folk
whats east of rhun?
>>70007098
Your mum's vagina.
>>70007098
Chinks
>>70007066
Yeah, my autism got the better of me. I never realized ME was this huge tebehe
>>70005574
>>70005517
this guy gets it, dig underneath a volcano.
Why didn't Sauron just hire cheap chink laborers from the East to build 4 volcanoes in Mordor?
>>70006656
Then make your world out of lighter elements
>>70005611
>"Fly you fools!"
Nice memeing. It means "flee" in the given context.
http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/fly
>>70004870
Implying that eagles are actually 'eagles'.
They're not fucking eagles. They're a higher form of being who don't give two fucks about the world of men. That's why they're indifferent.
>Legolas Greenleaf
>Greenleaf
>>70007278
>They're a higher form of being
>higher form
They're a different race. Not a higher race per say.
>Indifferent
That's why they got involved in the Battle of the 5 Armies, helped Gandalf all the time, ect.
>>70007355
Gandalf isn't a man, they feel different towards him.
Point is, they pick and choose when to get involved. They have their own agenda.
So many autists can't understand why they don't just jump on their backs at The Shire and fly them there as if they're giant fucking pets or something.
>>70006777
checked
>>70007338
I admire your dedication.
>>70007338
why did they walk in the shape of a dick several times?
>>70007430
>actually falling for the "why dont they fly the eagles to mordor" meme
Why didn't they use one of those worms that the orcs used in The Hobbit to burrow to Mordor?
>>70007504
filename
>>70004834
Pirates/Corsairs
>>70007430
It's just a plothole mate. Cool your tits. Even Tolkien acknowledged it as such.
Just like that shit Tom Bombadil. That fucker should not have been in the books.
>>70006837
>Hungary is Mordor
can confirm
t. hungarian
>>70007322
Did you know that Greenleaf is a translation for Legolas?
>>70007714
Greenleaf Greenleaf?
>>70007714
Huh. I'd assumed it was his surname
>>70007764
no, legolas legolas.
Reminder that Tolkien is for true enlightened patricians and all other fantasy is for the stupid oppressed masses, and also it's only for white people with white blood
http://www.kalkiweisthor.net/personal-gnosis-j-r-r-tolkien-and-guido-von-list/
>>70007322
A
FUCKING
GREENLEAF
>>70007885
>>70005534
>>70007699
Can agree
t. Hungromanian halfbreed
>>70005534
overrated post
>>70008120
Underrated overreaction
>>70006537
You know that Sauron guy? Yeah, he's a traitor "wizard" at full power. The wizards are just demigod spirits who serve the main gods. So to answer your question, über powerful.
>>70004474
Why didn't Sauron just decide not to be evil?
>>70008245
>implying Sauron is even evil
jej
>>70008271
>he's really a good guy, you guys!!!
>Hitler did nothing wrong!
>>70008282
>implying you have a deep enough understanding of the lore to even being to fathom what I am expressing
jej
>>70006801
He wanted the Ring because with it it would be a total rofl stomp of Middle Earth because Elves and Men have become weaker since his last defeat. He's tried and failed many times before, he wanted to be absolutely sure he fucking won this time.
>>70008297
>implying you have a deep enough understanding of humans to even get why hitler is a good guy
Kek i won't even explain it, you're just dumb xD
>>70008245
Because how else are you supposed to enslave all of humanity? Plus it's so much more fun that way.
>>70008372
>going around in a stupid circle-jerk in order to avoid looking stupid
jej
>>70008396
Ok lad, how's Sauron the good guy?
>>70008408
>not "bad guy"
>therefore "good guy"
>>70005498
Then don't be a faggot dwarf and don't wake it
>>70008408
You don't actually think there is a good guy, right?
How is he evil?
>inb4 attempted domination of a world created literally for his master.
Everything happened as it did in the music, everything was destined by Eru to come to pass and it did, how is it evil? It is what it is.
You should probably read the books. Sauron just wanted control, not death.
>>70008408
OK then, why do you not consider him to be evil?
>>70005611
>>70004688
>>70004834
>Take a million years to reach Mordor
By the time you reach it all of Mens Kingdoms in Middle Earth would be overrun already
>>70008479
You're a fucking idiot.
The universe is how it is, and all time passes as it does, but that doesn't mean hitler wasn't evil.
You clearly have a very narrow grasp of the lore.
>>70008539
You are missing the part where the universe was created for the express purposes of teaching Melkor a lesson, are you trying to say the universe was created for Hitler?
>>70008568
The universe was created for consciousness, Hitler was conscious, as we all are.
Things happen for a reason, that doesn't make them okay.
>>70008598
>being this retarded in order to maintain dignity on an anonymous website
You know you can stop, right?
>>70008408
he dindu nuthin
>>70005237
middle earth was made by magical sky wizards .
it WAS flat in the beginning while it was under construction but by the events of LoTR its round .
>>70004474
What would happen if Sauron got the ring? Isn't he a giant eye? He can't wear it.
>>70008613
Oh look, he can't argue so he has resorted to name calling.
>>70008726
He would transform from a big eye, to a big guy.
>>70008726
Probably the Mouth would wear it then get possesed then probably do some voodoo shit and becomes Sauron again
>>70005574
Its like pottery. It rhymes
Why didn't Gandalf just take Frodo and the ring out of Middle Earth like at the end of the movie?
>>70008726
it would be extremely painful
>>70004870
>circumvent
This got me
>>70005611
This anon is correct. Gandalf can't just summon the Eagles using a insect or anything. They were traveling to their nest in the mountains when the balrog caught the fellowship. Gandalf couldn't tell them where the Eagles' nests were because he didn't have a map.
