MEANWHILE IN HOGWARTS /tv/
PUFF
U
F
F
R.I.P Cedrick
>>69944930SCROLL SCROLL SCROLL SCROLL SCROLL SCROLL SCROLL
>>69944930
FUCKING MUGGLES
/min/ when?
Children, Please Welcome our Guest Speaker who will be discussing "Door Holding AND Time Travel"
What kind of kino would Headmaster Dumbledore like, init?
Bloody hell, my bull Jamal just cucked me in the Slytherin dungeons. Blimey, my little white cawk nevuh stuud a chance!
>tfw you will never be bullied by rich Slytherin sluts for being a hufflepuff faggot
>tfw mum sends an embarrassing howler and everyone stares
>>69945346
Weasley detected, hasn't your mother ever heard of fetus deletus?
Blimey there must be a dozen of you shitting up Gryffindor, costing us housepoints for being retards
>tfw days of Dumbledore making us win every year are over
Nice while it lasted
WELFARUS ENORMOUS, MUFUGGAH
Black could be anywhere
>>69944993
>best student at school
>couldn't even dodge a curse or duel a fat retard
Cedric was useless.
>>69945204
>>69945836
>>69946069
Muggle sympathizers everyone they're probably from Ravenclaw to fucking degenerates
>>69944930
>no prayer room
>Griffindor dormitory isn't facing towards Meccah
>Hijab is not mandatory part of the girls' uniform
>no spell to convert non-believers
Hogwarts was pretty islamophobic tbqh
>>69946221
>>no spell to convert non-believers
What? They definitely had a spell to blow things up.
>>69946181
SHIIIEETT
>>69946221
Now Now you have a place for those type of teachings
>>69946303
>literally called Bombarda
>>69946351
>Prisoners are Muslim
>Guards are wearing Burqa
>>69945472
this is a slytherin false flag post
weird and creepy
like a young snape
>>69946453
That was made up by the retarded moviemakers, in the books the spell is Confringo and Expulso
Harry Potter was easily one of the dullest franchise in the history of movie franchises. Each episode following the boy wizard and his pals from Hogwarts Academy as they fight assorted villains has been indistinguishable from the others. Aside from the gloomy imagery, the series’ only consistency has been its lack of excitement and ineffective use of special effects, all to make magic unmagical, to make action seem inert.
Perhaps the die was cast when Rowling vetoed the idea of Spielberg directing the series; she made sure the series would never be mistaken for a work of art that meant anything to anybody?just ridiculously profitable cross-promotion for her books. The Harry Potter series might be anti-Christian (or not), but it’s certainly the anti-James Bond series in its refusal of wonder, beauty and excitement. No one wants to face that fact. Now, thankfully, they no longer have to.
>a-at least the books were good though
"No!"
The writing is dreadful; the book was terrible. As I read, I noticed that every time a character went for a walk, the author wrote instead that the character "stretched his legs."
I began marking on the back of an envelope every time that phrase was repeated. I stopped only after I had marked the envelope several dozen times. I was incredulous. Rowling's mind is so governed by cliches and dead metaphors that she has no other style of writing. Later I read a lavish, loving review of Harry Potter by the same Stephen King. He wrote something to the effect of, "If these kids are reading Harry Potter at 11 or 12, then when they get older they will go on to read Stephen King." And he was quite right. He was not being ironic. When you read "Harry Potter" you are, in fact, trained to read Stephen King.
>>69946551
Didn't read lol
>>69946165
Reminder that Hufflefag's golden boy has lost quidditch matches to his gf and to Draco fucking Malfoy
>>69945472
Nice try, Draco.
>>69946645
>not recognizing that pasta just from the thumbnail
hello /v/eddit
>>69947544
>yfw when you realize that the only reason Cedric got into the Tournament is affirmative action
I bet the goblins did this.
>>69946551
>Atlas Shrugged
I'd fuck Ermione in her hufflepuff, if you know what I mean, lads.
>>69945472
The Twins are alright. In fact it's mainly the youngest two that suck.
>>69946551
spot on mate
>>69947917
>>anon, cuckboy supreme, tries to sneak into the girls dormitory to steal some of hermoine's well-worn socks
Them the magic slide that the prude founders installed activates and you get thrown back into the common room.
>>69947973
well in this story, anon has figured out a charm that allows him to sneak past it.
however, he couldn't sneak past hermoine.
anon on the bottom, inside of her shoe, underneath her sole, getting stepped on repeatedly by her sexy foot, because he was a horny gryffindor student who tried to sneak into the girl's dormitory.
Oh fuck the Emmacucks arrived. I can smell the doritos remains in their neckbeards.
>>69945472
>fetus deletus
>>69948098
you can't have a harry potter thread without a bit of hermoine worship. it's always been this way and there's nothing wrong with it.
>>69945472
>fetus deletus
you owe me a new pair of sides m8
>>69948147
She's overrated as fuck and an annoying feministic whore, not the kind of girls /tv/ should worship. /hp/ is Luna's domain.
>>69946551
Pasta alert
There's a snake in ma boot!
>not becoming pals with cucks ape and brewing love potions and that luck potion all day
>>69946645
no shit
thats why you're a fan of low IQ trash like HP and game of thrones nerd lmao
>>69948272
i said HERMOINE worship, not emma watson.
i grew up with a crush on hermoine. for 8 movies i dreamed about being in hogwarts and having her as my gf. i dreamed about how pretty her feet must be.
i have no connection to emma watson. it's all hermoinealso, LOL at redditjanny deleting my post. my post was perfectly fine.
>>69945472
Molly was right to keep popping out kids, look how they turned out:
>Super handsome genius head boy that scored veela pussy
>Dragon expert and quidditch superstar
>Genius head boy
>Twins that were known as the funniest guys in school, were actually magical geniuses in their own way, also quidditch superstars
>Girl that was said to be a 10/10, got to be one of Slughorn's favorites despite being from a poor family, became a quidditch pro and got the chosen dick
Her only mistake was not aborting Ron
>>69948365
But Hermione is just like Emma, a boring, bullying, hysteric, loudmouthed, small-minded, self-righteous SJW normie bitch.
>tfw blackmailed Professor Flitwick with pictures of him on a gay cruise ship at a squib poz party and got him to teach me the anti glisseo spell so I've been going into the girls dormitory and having orgies with all the sexually frustrated 10/10 Gryffindors
Hermoine is black.
>>69948519
Without Ron the chess match wouldn't have been won and Voldy would have come back inside the school and nuked all the students that weren't Slytherin.
>>69948747
Crucify Molly
>>69948747
i never understood the chess match
why'd he have to sit on the horse, he could have jumped off
>>69948519
Don't talk shit about Ronnie the effing Bear.
>>69948948
Lavender, pls
what is stopping those niggas from brewing the liquid luck and ODing in that shit 24/7????????? xD
>>69948948
my nigga
>>69948272
>being this triggered of a neckbeard
Truly hilarious she's a goddess
>>69948527
No senpai emma is great
Which is funnier, Wizard People Dear Reader or the dramatic reading of My Immortal the Harry Potter fanfiction written by Ebony Dark'Ness Raven Way?
Leave wandkino to me
>>69949082
Neither you fucking fetus
>>69949082
I didn't listen to the dramatic reading, but no way it's better than WPDR, even if My Immortal is hilarious.
>>69949082
like 2/3rds of My Immortal was a hoax anyway
>>69949007
expensive/rare ingrediants
>>69949105
Remind hogwarts is a character in the half blood prince and its halls engulf the characters in times of stress
>>69947814
>cedric died bc harry is a good sport
>>69949371
If Cedric was even slightly competent he could have stunned Wormtail when Babbymort was giving Harry headpain, and prevented the entire war, but no, he just stood there like a retard.
Hufflepuffs are useless.
How did the Harry Potter movies manage to be so much better than every other movie adapted from a young adult novel, minus Hunger Games 1 and maybe Maze Runner? It's seriously impressive, every other series is shit in comparison.
>>69949446
Why did Harry keep telling everyone that Voldemort killed Cedric when it was his retarded sidekick the one who did it?
>>69949446
You're right he couldn't even expelliarmus him. Why was he so aloof in a fucking graveyard.
And why the fuck was a hufflepuff hogwarts' champion. Did the goblet want cedrics dick too
>>69949606
you have no taste
it's that simple kid
>>69949168
>hoax
what? it's just a fanfic
>>69949606
I agree but hunger games 1 is still shit especially shit compared to potter
Haven't seen maze runner don't care to. Its bc theu hired.good dps and directors and actors
>>69949668
wow a free bump
>>69949708
Stop replying to it.
>>69949127
Blow me you fucking faggot.
>>69949667
it's a parody on mary-sues and the tweens who write them
>>69949645
You're a faggot. Hp has brazilian themes things are very tongue and cheek. There's a lot going on the films are very well done.
>>69949724
So the first third was sincere and then the rest was an intended parody?
She got me wand stiff like Petrificus Totalus
Alohamora off her jeans
She's sucking on my phallus
and I'm sipping on my butterbeer
>>69949802
no, it's all a parody
>>69949800
>There's a lot going on the films are very well done
t. a cinema embryo
Just do this board a favor and stay in your game of thrones threads or go back to /b/ or /r9k/, kid
>>69949668
>>69949800
>Hp has brazilian themes
>>69949826
kill yourself
>>69949866
It's not though, the first few chapters were posted on fanfiction.net by an actual britbongoloid girl.
>>69949645
>no taste
What does this even mean? If anon likes some movies and dislikes other than clearly he does have taste.
>>69949630
It's not like there were many better options.
Alright lads, I need a gender switch potion, and antidote, and someone sort of room aphrodisiac spell.
>>69949998
It's all because Dumbledore made Hogwarts a third rate school with shitty incompetent teachers who are either his soldiers or sycophants. Lucius Malfoy tried to sack him so they could make Hogwarts great again, but sadly he failed.
>>69949932
Pic related right you must be a dumb nigger you can't analyse british film. Yeah yates' had orwellian and brazilian themes as well as others. Are you that dumb you cant even pick up on obvious british self deprecation when it stares you in the face. Commit suicide.
>>69949868
Wow pulling game of thrones out of the hat? That shows shit. Congrats you cant appreciate good filmmaking HP has more to offer than most recent films esp those made the last ten years go watch the revenant
>Be Barty Crouch jr
>Kill Mad-Eye Moody
>Assume his identity through polyjuice potion
>Become DatDA teacher at hogwarts
>Teach nearly two fucking semesters of schooling
>Make sure Harry has to enter the triwizard bonanza
>Make sure Harry wins
>All so he can touch the fucking trophy cup
There has to be an easier way of getting Harry to touch a fucking portkey I mean goddamn Crouch jr himself turned the cup into a portkey. Even if it wasn't the right time earlier, when the time came, couldn't he just have turned something else into a portkey and then have Harry touch it after getting his trust?
>>69949645
It's at least an entertaining film series m8, it has about as much philosophical value as the Star Wars series does (read: none). There's nothing wrong with liking it. I just find it odd how the entire Harry Potter series is head and shoulders above other young adult novel adaptations, when you could argue that there are other book series which are much better.
>>69950140
Give me a month
>>69949702
Maze Runner is actually pretty fun to watch, though I kind of turn myself off concerning the plot; I've heard it's too convoluted.
>>69950233
>There's nothing wrong with liking it
low IQ detected
>>69950230
Because if Harry's corpse showed up in the middle of the maze, everyone would blame it on the tournament.
If he suddenly disappeared without a trace the ministry would start a manhunt to find their golden boy.
>>69946551
That chart is so fucked. I don't even know where to begin.
>>69950233
There's a lot more stuff going on in hp than star wars and lotr combined rewatch em.
>>69950230
>Kill Mad-Eye Moody
He just put him in a chest and anally raped him every single night.
>>69950321
Begin by recognizing it as lazy bait.
>>69950292
> I can't analyse harry potter
Listen faggot the 2 3 5 6 and 7th films are brilliant
>>69950332
>Crouch had a huge Polyjuice stash
>Could get hairs from every little teen slut in Hogwarts
>Night comes, he unlocks the chest, Polyjuice Mad-Eye to some loli and party
IT FITS
>>69946551
This 2bh they're dogshit and the third one is the only one that tried to be something more. Drones will tell you the first two are good, but its a tumblr meme by mongs trying to impress people on facebook.
>1
Despite clocking in at over two solid hours, the movie fails to properly set up and develop its characters and their back-stories, there is almost no build up and, even worse still, chemistry between the actors here. - 0/5
>2
Cramming in every "plot point" you can find in the book does not engaging storytelling make, and it's a wonder there ever was a third movie. - 0/5
>3
Splendid. An entirely enjoyable pop fantasy adventure that never for a moment insults the intelligence. By very very very very far the best of the Potter movies, the only one that manages to capture the funky mad energy of J.K. Rowling's hogwash. - 2/5
>4
Easy come, easy go. - 0/5
>5,6,7,8
Didn't see them
>>69950292
>not enjoying growing up watching HP
It was the GOAT movie experience. In-universe Harry was the same age as me, so it was like growing up with friends.
Sorry you can't appreciate that m8. I'm not saying they're great movies, they were just__fun__
>>69950233
You're answering your own question. You can tell there was much care put into it. Its better than the books hp had really solid to excellent filmaking
>>69947947
>Bad film is intellectual poison
If your mind can be so easily warped you're already a lost cause.
>>69950417
Crouch, like most death eaters, was only sexually attracted to Voldemort.
>>69950502
>that image
How ironic
>>69950460
I guess the better question is how come nothing else of equal value has come along? Just laziness? If so that's a shame.
>>69950460
the last 3 did, but the first 5 films had horrible pacing if you read the books (i.e., everyone)
>>69950430
You're a huge faggot 3 was excellent. 4 was the worst.
5678 were great. Really fucking good. You haven't even seen them yet are commenting lile your opinion matters top kek just top /tv/
>>69950430
>my post
>well though out posts backing up with excellent classic /tv/ cinema knowledge
>>69950549
>15 year old from /v/
>sperg tier
Huh I guess this image really does still hold up in 2016
>>69950547
No I thought the pacing for 5 was great it was a good adaptation to me it cut out everything it needed to still get everythinf across.
3 wasbt badly paced to me. Its supposed to be a little off thats goes with the style of the film. I realltly love it. I thought 2 was also paced fine
Some of my best moments in high school were going to the midnight premiere of 5, 6, 7, and 8. I miss it every now and then tbqh
>>69950615
> I can't retort my shit opinions and not seeing the film so I'm gonna call the guy who called me out on being a worthless faggot 15
Ok pal you're not projecting
>>69950541
Yes to be honest. You could tell they put in the time and effort to make them as good as they could. They weren't just professional, dan was apparently non stop energy and made it easy for the cast, but you could tell they were prideful in being a part of the series
>>69950230
>when the time came, couldn't he just have turned something else into a portkey and then have Harry touch it after getting his trust?
Portkeys don't normally work in Hogwarts. The cup was the one exception that had to be "whitelisted" against Hogwart's anti-magical-travel protection. And it was actually very necessary that the cup be a portkey to transport the champion out of the maze ASAP, because the champ would very likely have been wounded and possibly poisoned by the maze's giant spider final boss.
If you could just turn anything into a working portkey within hogwarts than Draco's mission in the 6th book would have been cake. But instead he had to use the vanishing cabinet
>>69950634
5 was prolly my least fav because of the pacing even though it was my favorite book. idk they all do a good job of putting the books on screen, but as a movie they always felt rushed. felt like they needed to cut the scenes that only work in the book and draw out the more important ones.
they were all still enjoyable movies though
>>69950705
>He replies to pasta
>>69950705
>straight to the projection card
I can't stop laughing
Just imagine being this mouth breathing /v/ tier
>>69950692
I know bro. They were the best times.I heard warner bros wants to rerelease them sometime
>>69950877
>v!
>NO b!
>NO rk9
>no reddit!
Keep going bro you got it for sure!my god youre a faggot
>>69950978
All four are the same thing because of plebs like you that know nothing about cinema or art
goddamn /v/ crossposters
"but but but i put a spin on it about hogwarts instead of "bizzaro /v/" like /v/ does!"
faggots. also HP is literal tumblr shit spewed here.
>>69951027
Lol LOL
LoL
Okay man. Im on this board for a reason that most aren't. I dont use the others. I probably like films you like as well. In fact I'd bet on it. I can appreciate potter. Its better than almost 90% of what's on the board most of the time
>>69951150
No its not. Try deciphering film instead of shitposting on this board and watching nolan flicks
>getting my wand for the first time
>creepy bugger tells me the wand chooses the wizard, whatever
>got this great wand, feels perfect and wotnot
>duelin me mate one day years later
>nails me with an Expelliarmus
>suddenly wand doesn't seem to work right
>turns out it swapped allegiance to him now
wot the sodding shit is this. Why do they not tell us "oi mate, watch out your wand might change owners if you get disarmed of it" then they go and teach us the disarming charm in the second year of schooling?
>>69950838
5 grew in me a lot. I wish it was longer of course naturally. I heard one of the scenes they filmed and cut was the brain scene. But everything is done to make a better film. Even though I want those 30extra minutes I don't think it would necessarily make it a better film. It was very good for its runtime and to me couldn't really have been better. Idk it is very satisfying to me.. they all are exceot goblet even though I enjoy it
>>69951354
you're a simpleminded idiot
Something I noticed for the first time. After dumbledore is kill and the death eaters dark mark and leave to run through hogwarts, harry is watching in the tower below. Harry goes to leave downstairs but is so shocked that his spatial awareness is complete shit and he slams into this huge contraption that's right behind him and shakes it. Very subtle somehow though. It gave me the feels. Yates is a really good director.
IT WAS ALL A MEME
>>69950883
I'd seriously consider going to see them with a lot of friends
>>69953544
I USED TO READ DAILY PROFIT MAGAZINE
Voldemort and DumbleD up in the pensieve portraits hanging in my wall
Every saturday quidditch, seeking let me work my magic on them all
I let my wand rock rock my wand pop
Smoking tentacular leaves and mandrakes sippin on slughorns stock
>>69953859
I let my wand rock til my wand pop
>>69945284
>This turns into reverenge sex
I thought it was going to be femdom, fuck that shit.
JUST
Reddit af
>>69955151
Fuck off reddit is capeshit and mad max and nolan flicks and dude bourne and game of thrones and most of the shit clogging up this board
200 capeshit threads a day and you complain about this kys
>>69949007
>use liquid luck
>devote effort to finding a cheap way to make liquid luck
>>69949606
Fuck. Now I've remembered the Inkheart film adaption.
Ravenclaw winning it all this year in quidditch
>>69949173
Also can be deadly to make
Which one should I watch just finished marathoning azkaban
>Harry Potter saves the day again, apparently.
>Huge bias for him and his gryffindor companions
>Whats the point even trying when Harry hogs all the limelight.
>Hurr durr Potter tries to act normal but he secretly loves all the attention
>Iwn have cameras following me
>I'm gonna die in a battle caused by Potter
Being a nobody is suffering
>>69957734
cry more hufflecuck loser
>>69957734
Someone tell Mr. Filtch students are out of bed and on SUICIDE WATCH
>>69948887
Because the first movie was garbage
Guys, am I the only one who thinks Dumbledore doesn't take security as seriously as he should?
I mean in the course of roughly 5 years we had a teacher possessed by magic Hitler, a killer snake on the loose which was luckily dealt with by some students and a member of a magic nazi organisation posing as a teacher for a year.
Voldemort did nothing wrong
>>69958219
I kind of wish Harry realized in the end that Dumbledore was in fact a terrible person and headmaster and that maybe the Malfoys had a point.
>>69958219
Yeah he was seriously incompetent.
>>69958219
Also hired a werewolf that almost killed two students
>>69958245
He killed a guy.
>>69949606
You just called the Harry Potter movies good.
Just realize how low your standards are.
>tfw can't go to Hogwarts so I'm just browsing /x/ and accruing real books about magic
Mostly just the early medieval and renaissance works right now, but I doubt I'll touch any of that New Age bullshit.
I don't even want to be a practitioner, I just want to learn about the old magical beliefs from an anthropological context.
>>69949371
Has there ever been a hero who was more of a fuckup than Harry Potter? Half of his encounters with Voldemort end up with him losing somebody, and he tends to only survive through luck.
>>69945472
>fetus deletus
>>69945284
Tiny panties
>>69947875
>liking the Weasley twins
>>69948519
>genius
>genius
>genius
What are you fucking talking about. The books make it very clear who the genius level wizards are (Dumbledore, Voldy, Grindlewald).
'Head Boy' =/= genius
>>69949630
What is Cedric's pureblood status? Do the books tell us?
>this
>thread
>>69963481
>another redditeur
>>69963583
>hurr reddit
I think you're the one who needs to go back
>>69963645
after you
>>69963680
>>69963645
>>69963583
all of you go back
>>69964209
no
go back 2 reddit
>>69946221
Back to /pol/ you fat American bastard
why is the dean gay?
>>69945472
>fetus deletus
