https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3VsG1xtIwSk
christ
what the fuck
kevin smith is going legit crazy
>>69346922
> entire cast is a bastion of kikewood nepotism
Kill me
That might be twe worst thing I've ever seen.
>>69346922
the fuck
>>69346922
It kind of makes you want to reassess your opinion of his earlier works, doesn't it?
>>69346922
>Kevin Smith criticised BvS
I legit can't even KINDA respect him
I'll need to instagram it!
>it's a kevin smith thinks he can still direct episode
>>69347110
>start watching the original clerks
>acting is fucking terrible
>stop watching it
>>69346922
That's a joke, right?
... Right?
>brazis: bratwurst nazis
is this real life?
>>69347251
No. Jokes are funny.
Looks fun
weed has turned his brain to mush
This is just sad. Please Kevin, JUST FUCKING STOP.
>>69346922
>Brazis
So is the fact that that is fucking stupid supposed to be cool?
I just can't get the idea behind that title.
Is yoga as a concept supposed to be funny?
Is it 2008 again and is this an episode of King of the Hill?
The ever living fuck?
Even Rob Schneider would have too much self respect to do this shit.
This is what feminism does to society.
That trailer gave me no understanding of what the movie is about.
>>69346922
>does a handstand and squishes a bunch of little men with her ass
Oh boy here we go. Do you think Kevin Smith made his daughter do it, or is it Depp's kid?
>>69346922
>Lily-Rose Depp
Well, that explain why Johnny is in it.
>Harley Quinn Smith
Oh God fucking damnit, Kevin.
this is what happens when you let nepotism into your movie.
aka the godfather 3 effect.
Nobody's going to mention the fact that this has both Depp's and Smith's daughters in it?
Even Will Smith wouldn't do this to Jayden.
Also, Johnny Depp + Vanessa Paradis = hot stuff.
>>69347566
>thick
It's Harley
>>69346922
>Depp's character from Tusk is not only an official part of this fucking universe, but a main character in the movie
OH FUCK
Kevin Smith is the definition of "DUDE ITS BAD ON PURPOSE I DIDNT EVEN TRY SO I DONT CARE WHAT YOU THINK"
Then why the fuck does it exist? The "intentionally" bad thing you wrote, shot, directed spent a 1000 hours on? Why does it exist if you straight out say its not worth watching
Just because critics hurt your feelings years ago and your spirit tapped out doesnt give you the right to make "criticproof" films
>>69347594
Erf
NEENER NARNY?
>>69347575
>Harley Quinn Smith
>Harley Quinn
That poor soul.
>>69347613
He's also going to be the Quint in MOOSE JAWS probably
>>69347610
>Okay, honey. In this scene you need to sit on these little men until they squish!
>Why do they all look like you, dad?
>JUST DO WHAT I SAY. PUT ON THE TIGHT PANTS THAT DADDY LIKES.
>>69347110
Up through Dogma I think he was still a legitimate filmmaker. Sure some were rough around the edges, but he wrote with a purpose and was trying to say something. This though? This is pure garbage.
Yoga Hosers is kino! KINO!
Goddamnit Kevin, you're not Canadian, leave Canada alone, we never did anything to you, fuck off.
>introducing Lily-Rose Depp and Harley Quinn Smith
>>69347619
You're marooned to a desert Island which plays only one movie and only one movie on a loop for ever.
You have two buttons that will start the loop. If you don't press a button, you will die. Once a button has been pressed, you can't change your selection. There are no other form of entertainment on the island.
Option A):
>After Earth
Option B):
>Yoga Hosers
Which button do you press?
>>69346922
>johnny depp is in this
have i accidentally slipped into an alternate dimension again?
>>69347652
Red State was good
>>69347777
Yeah, and you need quints to go back.
so whats with his recent obsession with canada?
>>69347752
Yoga Hosers. At least there's women in it that use their asses as weapons.
>>69347752
after earth was a nice sci-fi national geographic program
>>69346922
At least fucking Tusks had Michael Parks, what is this shit now?
>>69347752
If I don't press a button, would I die?
>>69347752
Option C):
>>69347803
hockey and weed dude, his whole personality is encompassed by that
>>69347815
Lily Rose and Harley Quinn in yoga pants
>>69347828
Yes as mentioned in the sentence
>If you don't press a button, you will die
>>69347803
>>69347803
Well the guy has been wearing an Edmonton Oilers jersey everyday since 1986
>>69347831
Option C is being spit roasted by Gary and Jake Busey
>>69347752
>If you don't press a button, you will die
You made it too easy anon
>>69347859
feel the bern
>>69347828
It would be extremely painful.
>>69347831
>Option C
is the entirety of the Big Bang Theory played at 25% speed on VLC.
>>69347870
Now you're talking
I feel sad for those girls, I'm pretty sure they think this is an embarassing piece of shit but couldn't be honest with their dads
>>69346922
That looks terrible.
Is "filmmaker" the only career where the longer you do it the worse you get?
>>69347862
I don't know shit about hockey
So... what's this actually about?
Feels like something Smith made to put his daughter in and because he's a huge Canadaboo.
He made it bad on purpose guys, you just dont get it losers
>>69347752
A
M Night is still a better director than Smith.
>>69346922
What the fuck
I can't wait to see how terrible Clerks 3 is. He got high and wrote the script in one night. I want him to do something unforgivable.
>>69347650
KEK
>It's a Kevin Smith movie starring Johnny Depp
>Kevin Smith's daughter is starring
>Johnny Depp's daughter is starring
>Kevin Smith's daughter is starring
>Kevin Smith's wife is starring
>Jay will probably make a cameo
>Amber Heard will probably make a cameo
is this officially Nepotism: the Movie?
it's very apparent that Depp does not give a flying fuck about his credibility as a serious actor anymore. I know that should have been clear after Mortdecai and PotC 4: the Search for More Money, but this is just the final nail in the coffin.
>>69346922
DUDE WEED LMAO I RIGHT WORDS ON MY MAC AND THEN SOMEHOW GET FUNDING
Is there a legit way to live in a parallel universe because this is just fucking insane.
What if it's a misleading trailer and by some bizarre stroke of genius it turns out to be amazing?
Kevin Smith clearly lost his mind a while ago, back when he started wearing Blue and oranges hockey jerseys daily just because it was his lucky color.
I really want to know what event in his life turned him crazy.
>>69348085
The only thing that would be amazing is if it's released in more than a dozen theaters.
>>69347010
>kevin smith is a christan
Your move, alt-cuck
>>69348085
What if the entire movie is just Kevin Smith and Johnny Depp's daughter's wearing tight pants and using various yoga and wrestling moves on miniature men? There would be extended scenes where they take turns sitting on one of the mini men and smothering him with their crotches to get information out of him, of course.
Whoever is giving Kevin Smith money needs to stop.
>>69348157
He's from Jersey. The fucking guy feeds fast food to his dogs and dropped 30k to fix Jason Mews teeth.
He's always be a little wacko.
>>69346922
I liked Tusk and this looks just as much confusion and funs as it was. True kino.
>>69347110
Johnny Depp or Kevin Smith?
So the two girls fight off Nazi sausages? I don't think I quite get this.
>>69348051
let's not forget about Kevin's podcast buddies
>>69347177
Did you hear that, kids? Instagram! That's a popular cellular phone application that you kids seem to love! There doesn't need to be a joke, just a direct reference! YOU should Instagram it too!
>>69346922
What loving father would let their daughters first starring role be this.
>>69348345
MENTION TWITTER NEXT
>like his early movies
>embarrassed when cop out and red state came out
>see this
I guess cop out wasn't that bad
>>69346922
Not gonna lie, I'm a little confused
wat
I don't understand this trailer.
So, two girls are invited to a party, where they're going to be used for sex, which they don't like, so they visit some French stereotype in prison who has an army of little sausage men? And they learn yoga to fight them?
I'm sure I could maybe understand if I watched the trailer a few more times but I really don't want to.
>>69348345
Remember when that was already done two years ago?
>>69347146
he took it back after watching it again
>>69348278
>Does Kevin Smith gap to his daughter?
He posts her pics on his own facebook page.
To think I was actually hyped for this trilogy at one point, what the fuck happened to you Kevin?
>>69347752
Yoga hosers, at least that has fap potential, as there will be no other method of titilating myself while on the island.
>>69348335
When will he ever stop with that retarded staring
Also I feel bad for Justin Long
You know, an actual reverse gender teenage gender Jay and Silent bob would be entertaining. Should had done that instead of trying for pg 13
>>69348413
At least that was a comfy movie.
>>69348391
P U F F Y
U
F
F
Y
>>69348391
>there will probably multiple sexually charged scenes that kevin smith wrote specifically for his daughter
>>69348413
That wasn't a punchline. It was a plot device that was integral to the story
Moose Jaws when
>>69348464
>dat pudge
>>69348335
who is that elderly woman at the bott-oh
>>69348499
Indeed, comfy as fuck.
>>69348179
>There will inevitable be a vore scene, since the mini men are made out of sausage
Kevin Smith cast his daughter in a fetish film
yfwDan Schneider is the executive producer
>>69348464
>Arabic subtitles
Well at least he thought about his friend Ben al-flecki when he made the trailer
>>69348335
Your stepdad's wife
>>69348282
yea i think you got it
i have no idea either
It's like he watched Tim and Eric, didn't get why it was funny but tried to blend it into Clerks along with teenage girl fun time movie tropes.
That was rough.
Remember yesterday when I posted the premise of the movie and said that it looked fun?
I'm changing my mind.
>>69346922
why is this getting hate, this kind of absurd avantgarde is exactly what the spirit of /tv/ is about
>>69348754
wut? /tv/ only discusses mainstream tv series and capeshit.
>>69348754
>>69348850
hey, Kevin, post more pictures of your daughter then we can talk.
Can someone explain to me who this is intended to be for?
Kevin Smith fans won't give a shit because it's teenage gurl power trash.
Teenage girls won't give a shit because it's manchild Kevin Smith trash
Literally no one else will give a shit because the world is tired of Depp mugging.
This is a movie for no one.
>>69348893
just check her instagram https://www.instagram.com/harleyquinnnn_/?hl=en
>>69348754
What's the deal with Nazi sausages, Kevin?
>>69348897
Kevin wants it to be a 'tween girl movie'. He even went up against the MPAA to get the rating down to PG-13 from R.
His daughter is getting thick.
wew lad.
She might need her own pair of Jnco jeans.
Someone post that Facebook post of the daughter with her prom date where Kev goes full retard
Why were there arabic subtitles?
>>69348897
>Can someone explain to me who this is intended to be for?
teenage girls/boys
>Kevin Smith fans won't give a shit because it's teenage gurl power trash.
Kevin Smith fans will watch ANYTHING he makes.
>Teenage girls won't give a shit because it's manchild Kevin Smith trash
Probably true.
>Literally no one else will give a shit because the world is tired of Depp mugging.
/tv/ cares. there's been 6 threads about it in 3 hours and counting.
>This is a movie for no one.
I wish.
>>69346922
>OK honey, in this scene you're the hot young cashier in tight yoga pants, and I'm the mini fat man made of sausage.
>You're going to do a handstand, and then slam your thick ass down on my tiny body...hnng..and then you're going to pick me up...I'm so tiny, and you're so big...hnnng...
Daily reminder his next movie is Moose Jaws
>>69349018
Arabs are the prime audience for cunny, fictional or otherwise.
>>69346922
Fucking Hollyjewd bluewashing Majin Buu.
https://twitter.com/thatkevinsmith/status/2554608773?lang=en
did kevin really lose a bet with this tweet?
>>69348897
I guess its for me
>babes
>humorously terrible antagonist
>jokes at canada's expense
>jokes at millenials' expense
>johnny depp being wacky
This wont compare to the masterwork that is Tusk but I think ill enjoy this movie to a degree
>>69349029
>/tv/ cares. there's been 6 threads about it in 3 hours and counting.
You haven't caught on to the fact that for some reason some threads appear 6 times a day for a period of time after which noone discusses said movie any more? Kinda weird if you think about it right? Especially when they sink to page 10 and then they are bumped, mysteriously.
>>69348464
There is a gender swapped Jay and Silent Bob in the Clerks porn parody. Also supposedly the "movie" portion of the parody was good enough that they released it without the sex scenes as a legit movie due to popular demand.
>>69346922
This is like something they would've made during the 80s.
>>69349132
>tfw cucked by yourself
WEW LAD
>>69347704
>introducing Lily-Rose Depp and Harley Quinn Smith
>>69346922
Kevin: Hey remember After Earth, lets do that again but we'll put our kids in it.
Depp: I see no way this could go wrong
>>69349226
>Clerks porn parody
I don't ever want to see those three words in the same sentence.
>>69349356
It exists. Same with the Friends and Seinfeld porn parodies as well. Also a whole series of Star Trek ones and even a Star Wars one.
>>69349132
Harley must have lost a bet aswell
>>69349226
>due to popular demand.
Smith fanboys are cancer
>yfw at 1:15 Kevin Smith playing the Bratzi, gets squished to death by his own daughters giant ass
What a hero
>>69348051
it's a small indie movie man, if he wants to give all the roles to people he knows who cares?
>>69349573
>who cares?
People who respect their audience
>>69349573
Imagine being able to make movies for a living, but having to take studio suggestions for casting
Now he's doing what he wants creatively, and gets to cast whoever he wants. His daughter had a clause where she could fire him from the film if she didn't like how it was going.
Who cares indeed, it's his movie and his choices.
>>69349631
What if respecting your audience means picking who you want to pick for roles, instead of pleasing a couple of whiny autists on 4chan?
>>69347566
I want that ass to commit a murder on my face.
>>69349631
His audience is people who are fans of his movies. His movies include casting his wife, and Jay Mewes. Now that he's collaborating with Johnny Depp I see no difference.
Its like those stupid ideas you have and mention to friends as a joke when drunk or stoned or whatever, but its actually made into a movie.
Remember when this shit was rampant during the VHS era?Please make it stop noone wants this
>>69347594
>Vanessa Pardis
Jesus WHAT THE FUCK
>>69349656
Fuck off Kevin.
>>69347566
It's definitely Harley, her hair is notticably longer
>mfw Kevin Smith is almost 50
>mfw he'll never make a good movie again
>>69349751
>yfw that's 100% what happened
He plays after the movie, the podcast episode with the discussion that started this movie. Smodcast is the place where he gets stoned with his friend and jokes around. That's where Smodcast Pictures comes from. I believe the next movie he's doing also came from a podcast conversation: Moose Jaws. Basically what you think it is: Jaws but with a Moose. Also going to have Johnny Depp as a character.
>>69349776
>those teeth
nope, you can fit an jet airliner between that
>>69347190
For years I have been baffled by the love for Clerks. The acting and writing are god awful.
>>69349842
he's never made a good movie tho
The teenage girl coming of age comedy part of the trailer is what interests me, but the goofy ass brazi bullshit is lame as fuck
This looks like some straight to Redbox shit
This looks like that movie your scroll past that finally pushes you over the edge and makes you say out loud, "There's never anything good on Netflix!"
A NEENER NARNY???
>>69347566
thisismyfetish.jpg
Little slut
>>69350019
Stop it. This movie does not deserve meme recognition.
>Kevin Smith legally called his daughter Harley Quinn Smith.
>>69346922
Seriously, what the fuck
If you don't think this looks fun, you may not like fun, or have forgotten what fun is.
>>69349776
She was hot.
>>69349879
Really? Im right behind this sort of thing if thats true. Things out of left field are always worth a look Ive found. Movies that arent trying to be a game changer, but just get the idea on screen, no matter how stupid.
>>69347704
>introducing these two girls who played these exact same characters in my last movie.
>>69350067
>There is a 99.99999999999999999% chance that Kevin Smith legally named his daughter after a character that he regularly masturbated to
>>69348461
JUSTin long
>>69348464
When this was first announced I assumed it was going to be a female version of Clerks. Since he's making "MallBrats" I guess he's decided to use that as the vehicle for his child though. It's really pathetic that whenever Kevin talks about Yoga Hosers he calls it "his kid's movie" like he's intentionally trying to distance himself from it.
>>69350164
>There is also a 99.99999999999999999% chance that Kevin Smith regularly masturbated to his daughter
>>69350226
So? We all have
>>69348464
Man, Kevin Smith's daughter is fat, WHO'D KNEW
>>69350119
No matter what anyone in /tv/ says, they haven't taken their stupid idea all the way to the big screen. You gotta respect the follow through. /tv/ wants to bitch about remakes and sequels, but don't give credit to people making the movies they want to make instead of waiting till a studio chops it up enough to sell to a mass market.
>>69348445
But Jaden tho.
>>69348983
She's built like a linebacker. She's hitting her peak right now.
>>69346922
What the fuck did I just watch?
>>69348464
>that framing
Why can't I get famous as a fatty, make shitty movies, and trade my daughter for Depp's for a night. Kmimsa
>>69350042
im pretty sure kevin diddled her at some point. you just know that fat fuck sex addled pervert must have snuck into her room several times just to lick her toesi wish i was him desu
>Red State (2011 film)
>Budget: $4 million
>Box office: $1,874,460
>Tusk (2014 film)
>Budget: $3 million
>Box office: $1.9 million
>Yoga Hosers (2016 film)
>Budget: $5 million
>Box office: ???
HOW LOW CAN HE GO???
>>69350415
is he self financing or something? who would give him money?
>>69350415
Tusk and Red State probably might have made their money back after DVD sales. He really fucked up by not promoting Red State. It was an actually decent movie that could have made some money in the theater but his ego refused to let it be advertised.
>>69346922
it looks like the fucking tim and eric movie
what unfortunate looking daughters
>>69350474
Probably Depp.
>Here's some money fat movie man, make my daughter shut up about wanting to be a movie star.
>Introducing Lily-Rose Depp and Harley Quinn Smith
This explains everything. But also, was it really necessary for them to put the last names in red as if no one would notice the name Depp at the very least? And fucking seriously, Harley Quinn? You can shit all over this trailer without even talking about the movie.
>>69347190
Only acceptable Clerks is the cartoon version.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CGbgAisf6_c
>>69347618
this, it's so fucking annoying.
will you guys stop being so basic?
I require some pictures of Harley Quinn Smith's ass.
>>69347752
Only seen the movie once but I seem to remember After Earth having maybe a half hour of actual dialogue so I'll have to go with that one.
>>69347894
For you.
>>69347185
>Still
Dogma was his best movie and that was still riddled with Kevin Smith crew in jokes and SNL quantities of unnecessary celebrity cameos.
>>69348897
>Kevin thinks Tweens sill like Tween movies
kek
>>69350906
Salma Hayek is never unnecessary.
>>69350872
Kevin Smith is a big guy.
>>69349041
>>69349041
Living the dream
Betting he's got nobody around him willing to offer honest criticism, or if they do they all like the exact same shit as he does. Lack of good critique, an uninspiring creative environment, and bootlickers, can all do terrible things.
>>69351016
Kevin Smith is an idiot.
You're writing, producing and featuring in a film, you hire Salma Hayek and you DON'T put in a scene letting you enact your fetish with her?
Kevin smith
>PG-13 strip dance with a rubber prosthesis covering the good stuff
Quentin
>licking tequila off her bare feet
>>69348464
UGHHH THIC
>>69350776
>>69349776
L O N D O N
>>69347146
BvS is shit even a hack can tell it is
>>69351284
>people are shocked that Kevin Smith wrote and directed a giant shit heap
Really fags?
>>69351319
hhhnnnnggggg
>>69350525
Red State was not a decent movie.
It literally jumped across genre borders every 5 minutes in an attempt to be different, and the only thing that succeeded from that was making the plot fucking retarded.
>>69351343
he's directed some masterpieces so it's fucking crazy that he makes such shite now
>>69350117
Yeah, with her mouth closed.
>>69351398
>masterpieces
Whoa, Hey, Whoa, Whoa, Hey.
His movies are alright.
>>69349921
Thank you! Thaaaaank yooouu!! Holy shit, I can't get fucking passed how bad everything is in that movie. I don't give a shit it's a student film basically, the standards that movie has are awful.
Tusk sounded like a funny idea when he was explaining the "true story" on his podcast but the movie was trash. This looks fucking awful. I have somewhat more hope for Moose Jaws simply because it features Jay and Silent Bob but he'll likely fuck that up too.
>>69351398
Let's not go overboard pal
>>69351318
>>69348419
Nigga look at this trailer and tell me he's in the right position to criticise anyone
>>69350019
i've never cringed so hard till this
Did anyone else notice that Smith's daughter is both uglier and a worse actress than Depp's
>>69351506
>>69351551
Okay, I admit, I may have gotten a little ahead of myself there
>>69351542
It'll be worse because the script is entirely written for him already.
He'll try to be tongue in cheek about it.
>Look at how badly made this moose prop is, isn't it silly?
He's like a hipster that doesn't know he's too old and rich to be a hipster.
>>69348157
Cop out and Zack and Miri bombed at the apex of his career.
He started smoking weed nonstop.
>>69350474
that's a good question. you know he could just crowdsource the money for his movies because of his legions of idiot fanboys but they want jay and silent bob movies, not f'ing yoga hosers. maybe it's a complicated money laundering scheme.
>>69351749
>He started smoking weed nonstop.
cool
>>69351592
I'd still film them through the two way mirror when they have a sleepover like
>>69346922
smith needs to fucking stop. honestly he never should have started. clerks was fucking shit.
>>69348178
>kevin smith is of the religion most supportive of israel
yes?
Wait, this girl is not actually named Harley Quinn, right? It gotta be a joke
>kino director
>doesn't enlist a kino actor like Steven Seagal
they would conquer the world with their true form of art
>>69351398
he's directed a bunch of trash lmao. clerks was shit, every clerks, jay and bob movie was shit, dogma was shit, all a bunch of faggot shit.
>>69351919
She is indeedIts a cool name
>>69348413
that poster may have given me aids
>>69351592
>caring about their acting skill
Faggot alert.
>>69346922i once said chasing amy was my favourite film
kill me
>>69351984
t. junior high student
Why though
why
WHY
>>69351989
>age
>16
Bitch looks 30 what the fuck?
>>69351919
One of my best friends best from high school named his daughter Harley Quinn.We're no longer friends.I wish we were, he was a fun guy.
>>69352019
I fucking wish.
The office life sucks balls
>>69346922
Wait did the trailer say "from human hokey jersey Kevin Smith"
Kek, I'm going to have to get really stoned to watch this.
>>69352052
Jesus christ what, i'm with you dude i thought she was mid/late 20s
>>69351535
>Thank you! Thaaaaank yooouu!!
Please Reddit leave
>>69352049
It's just like how I imagine /pol/.
>>69352086
>>69352052
That's her playing Baby Silent Bob in the opening scene of Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back
Why does everything after Clerks 2 feel nothing like Kevin Smith movies?
>>69346922
Who the fuck bankrolls this shit?
>>69352052
>>69352086
Since when have teenage girls not used tons of makeup to look like they're legal?
P.S. not a trick question.
>>69346922
Depp's Daughter is cute!
>>69352129
I don't even know how to use Reddit :^) I'm just happy someone actually has the same opinion as me about Clerks. I've never met anyone that dislikes it, everyone praises it.
Suck my stanky dick, faggot.
>>69352149
Marijuana hampers ambition.
>>69350525
Yeah, he was able to make money off of Tusk because he already had plans where to show it so it made a profit.
>>69352225
She's alsogender fluid. Not memeing
>>69352260
wtf?
no it doesn't
t. cannabis loving investment banker
>>69346922
this is obviously for their daughters demographic and not their own, you fat old faggots shouldn't even have an opinion about this
>>69352475
I'd give her my gender fluid if you know what I'm saying.
>>69352512
I'd suck off her feminine penis if you catch my drift
>>69352475
No her sexuality is fluid.
>>69353088
Oh. Well then her sexuality causes me to produce fluid
