I've never watched any of his movies apart from Machete. Where do I start from? Under Siege?
Start with his latest masterpiece, Code of Honor (2016).
Watch his first four movies back to back.
>>69336746
Sniper: Special Ops aka American Sniper 2.0
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fz_TIl_TgpY
>Steven Seagal
>Jean Claude Van Damme
>Dale Dye
You don't watch. He's like Van Damme but worse.
>>69336976
Rob Van dam
>>69337078
but he is /tv/ latest meme-man. I want to fit in.
Hard to Kill
Above the Law
Marked for Death
Out for Justice
Under Siege
All genuinely great action movies.
>>69337392
>I want to fit in
Well, I'm sorry to hear that...
>>69336976
how can he move so fat while being so hairy this doesnt make any sense
>>69336746
>Under Siege?
Yes, enjoy your 90s tiddies
>>69337531
still trying to force that meme, huh
>>69337451
I think these are a solid bet if you like B action movies.
I would also check out Expendables.
>>69336746
His newest kino. Code of Honor
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NrVR3lUPzCQ
Watch his all movies up to Undersiege (1992).
then watch in order to see a proper decent into segalkino:
The Glimmer man (1996)
Fire Down Below (1997)
Exit Wounds (2001)
Half Past Dead (2002)
The Foreigner (2003)
Out for Kill (2003)
Belly of the Beast (2003)
Clementine (2004)
Out of Reach (2004)
Into the Sun (2005)
Urban Justice (2007)
Pistol Whipped (2008)
Kill Switch (2008)
Against the Dark (2009)
The Keeper. (2009)
Then watch everything from Maximum Conviction (2012) to his latest films.
This is just my personal recommendation into essential Seagalcore.
Fill free to give me notes on which films you also think are essential Seagalcore
(I try to pick out noteworthy Segal films that will keep the uninitiated entertained, true patricians should watch all of his movies.)
Whats with these idiots trying to force this shit? You can tell theyre new because we've had loads of steven seagal threads in the past full of discussion and bants without it being "le memeified"
Fuck off back to your containment board you idiotic trash
>>69337677
looks like someone is not getting the punani
>>69337772
>wearing two watches
this shit gets me everytime
>>69337812
one watch is set on west coast time zone and another one in Moscow time.
>>69336746
Pic related is mandatory seagal
Start from this
>>69337655
I forgot On Deadly Ground (1992)
The first introduction of native american environmentalist Seagal
one million percent
>>69338010
>My Cocaine's awful dye job
>>69337451
These bring back so many memories, but I doubt I'd enjoy them as much now.
is seagalposting still alive?
>>69336746
>Steven Seagal
>He's a human and not a seagal
>tfw you will never be Steven Seagal
why even live?
Why is she so goddamn hot, bros?
>>69339873
she was the most annoying character in Under Siege desu
>>69336746
Easy...
>>69339837
Mongolian american lmao
what do you guys think of this scene
>>69340809
*pissing sound*
>>69337639
What the fuck, they basically just made the Punisher starring Steven Seagal
>>69340852
>13 different angles
Fucking kek
>>69341006
MARVEL B T F O
Seagal in the mcu when?
>>69336746
Above the Law
Marked for Death
Out for Justice
Under Siege
The Glimmer Man
Hard to Kill, Exit Wounds and Under Siege 2 are bad but can be bad in a good way.
Everything else is pure trash.
>>69340852
best editing since Armageddon
>>69337639
refn/10
>>69341919
>big guy
>>69341883
post MOAR
>>69338446
Still good watches. Probably more enjoyable as an adult because its such over the top low budget 80s action that doesn't feel obligated to put its head up its own ass. Just segal unapologetically busting heads.
As a true Seagal conosseur I've created the following list
ACTUALLY GOOD ELDER GOD TIER
>Hard to kill
>Under Siege
>Out for justice
>Nico
PRETTY GOOD
>Glimmer man
>Exit wounds
>Under Siege 2
>Marked for Death
BAD IN A GOOD WAY
>Belly of the beast
>Half past dead
>Into the sun
MEDIOCRE
>On Deadly Ground
>Fire down below
MEMECORE
>Good man
SHIT
>everything else
t: I've watched all the seagal movies
>mfw Hard To Kill is going to be on tv tomorrow
I'm fucking ready, phams. This is going to be my first Seagal kino
>>69342285
Fucking love Half Past Dead
Seagal films with black sidekicks are my personal favorite
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tsXabeuK2PE
I rewatched Out for Justice a few days ago and I didn't remember that it was shot here in my neighborhood. It's practically overrun by Chinese at this point and the only thing still on the block where Richie did Bobby Lupo is the pizzeria.
>>69344242
Take pics and post em
>>69344266
I'm at work right now but it's on 18th avenue and 85th street if you want to check it out on google maps
Why would a NYPD cop wear a black Special Forces beret in a crime scene?
How do these movies get made at this point? Are the kinomakers just doing it to get a laugh at Seagal's expense?
>>69344961
Probably because they still make money.
S N A T C H E D
>>69344961
probably money laundering or something else involved.
IIRC One of the NYC mafia familias wanted to finance four Seagal movies in late 90's most likely to launder money. Movie producer and Seagal personal friend Julius Nasso who was connected with the Mafia was also part of the thing.
Mafia didnt like when Seagal backed from the deal and apparently was close to pooping his pants when the mobsters threatened him.
>>69338010
This is a must see if you ever wondered what it takes to change the essence of a man
>>69345293
Bullshit or no, I buy it.
>Let me tell you something that might be a bit dangerous. I was raised in Japan. I was schooled in martial arts. I was given the title of master. They take a movie “The Last Samurai.” They have a 5-foot-2-inch little guy, whether he was straight or gay, I don’t know. I don’t care. He had never been to Japan. He doesn’t speak Japanese. He has never held a sword. They make him the Last Samurai. We got 450,000 phone calls [laughs] from everybody in the world saying, “That role was perfect for you. How did that happen?” Most of the people I know didn’t like the film and didn’t go see it. It’s just a classic example of Hollywood and the politics.
>>69336746
Just watch them all in chronological order, using Outlaw Vern's book as a guide
>>69345388
I dont about the money laudering, but Seagals mafia ties are true and no big secret
http://www.cbsnews.com/news/steven-seagal-muscled-by-the-mob/
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Primo_Cassarino#Steven_Seagal
>>69345504
I'd like to set up a Seagal movie watching night with /co/ so we can follow his book and sprinkle in his analysis and trivia of Seagal's work.
Seagal is literally the second coming of christ
>>69336746
Pick your poison
>>69337639
that stunt double at 00:42 lol
>>69345596
Oh my god
>>69345596
This really puts all this shitposting in perspective. We are but seagal acolytes
>>69345596
Which is the movie with Easy... EASY
>>69345870
The Foreigner
>>69345596
>The Out For Justice trailer on 35mm film
my god
>>69345596
I would legitimately like to own that action figure.
>>69345596
man i wish i could do this but organizing by what ethnic accent or background he takes.
>>69345958
Thanks lad
>>69345870
this one sir
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2dakhzl2SBQ
>>69346038
Memes aside, what the fuck did he mean by this
>>69345585
Can he only grow a goatee?
>>69346080
i was thinking it was just the black guy telling him to be cool because hes carrying an explosive. but he obviously doesnt know its a bomb.
it looks like the black guy is holding him hostage, but it doesnt make any sense for him to say it when hes in the middle of a piss and stood 5ft away
>>69346176
His "goatee," is nothing more than Flex-seal that he's sprayed on his face and scalp.
>>69337639
>doesn't kill a woman
>"I'm still an honorable man"
It doesn't get any better than this.
>>69346176
Maybe
In his TV show he had a beard one season when he was first trying out his Operator look, but it looked fake as hell though
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2b5bG8Rcpxo
>>69337639
i feel like they laid all the cards out on the table with this trailer. i know people dont watch his flicks for the story, but it kind of just outlined the whole 'plot'
>>69342913
better not be edited
>If so no take to blood bank
>>69346080
I think it's a directing/editing mistake.
The cuts were probably filmed separately, and the guy was supposed to be going "easy...EASY" as Seagal's walking to the urinal, then Seagal was to say "What do you think I'm doing?" before he starts pissing
>>69340809
Pissing intensifies.
>>69345596
And I thought it was too much to download the marked for death soundtrack.
>Fucker got it on Vinyl
>>69346357
Steven looks quite familiar in this clip
>>69340809
>>69340965
>>69341280
>>69341883
>>69342285
>>69345293
>>69345585
EAZYYYYYYYYYYYY
>>69346380
Really? Why would anyone cut that part out?
>>69346645
The metaphoric blood bank faggot
>Sawed off shoved down his throat
>>69341883
does he think the buttstock is a suggestion?
>>69347014
This is a man who ignores serving suggestions in favour of the whole thing, so yes, probably.
Steven Seagal hates Pestposting faggots and is the guy that got a Pestposter arrested. Fact.
>>69342285
ACTUALLY GOOD ELDER GOD TIER
>Hard to kill
>Under Siege
>Out for justice
>(Nico) Above the Law
>Marked for Death
fixed your list poser
>>69347070
You have autism don't you
>>69348571
found the pest poster
Does Seagal watch his own movies?
>>69349736
It's probably the main reason he does them.
Notice how no one in his films ever acknowledges how old and fat he is? Gotta boost that ego somehow.
So you're walking home at night after having a great time with your friends at your birthday party.
Then you turn the corner and this is all you see.
What do you do next?
Does Seagal have the most awsome haircut in hollywood?
>>69349736
The primers, where did they go?
>>69346357
Seagal as soild sanke? what do you guys think?
>>69350004
Imagine being Seagal watching your own movies in your mansion while wearing kimono surrounded by beer kegs, pizzas, hot wings, kebab plates, hamburgers, pastries, chip bags and Russian sex slaves.
>>69350443
Is it plugs, wig, or spray-on hair?
I also can't figure out how long it is.
>>69348607
Found the autistic virgin who samefags in threads that offend him
>>69350671
>Russian sex slaves
I thought it was more like south-east asian sex slaves?
>>69350711
Plugs and spray, also it's only few centimeters, only the sides are long
>>69350711
he uses GHL
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2GeF7A05zQ8
>>69340852
If some French director had done this the scene would be lauded as a masterpiece of cinematography.
>>69336746
>>69336976
>>69337508
>>69337531
>>69337639
>>69337655
>>69337772
>>69337889
>>69337948
>>69338010
>>69339837
>>69340852
>>69340885
>>69341883
>>69341919
>>69342913
>>69342916
>>69342934
>>69343097
>>69344917
>>69345097
>>69345293
>>69345456
>>69345508
>>69345585
>>69345596
>>69346038
>>69346357
>>69346504
>>69349736
>>69350443
>>69350671
I hate his fucking face
>>69350882
Not really.
>>69346357
what the fuck does he say at 0:43?
>BOOYAH
>WARNED YA'LL
>>69345596
nice collection, seagal. now piss off
>>69337451
these are legitimately good and Seagal was a handsome manly in shape tall bad ass in them I wonder where did everything went so wrong
>117 / 40 / 54 / 2
kek
>>69351065
he says BLOWJOB
>>69338010
goatest
seagull
>>69345617
I didnt open the attached file and had to go back and check
if it was a webm instead of a gif and at 00:42 they had drawn in a stunt double doing something instead of drawing in seagal I'd have laughed till I farted
>>69340852
>that editing
>that tastefully camouflaged mats
>that air running motion
muh sides
>>69340852
Spit my drink all over the place, I wasnt ready.
>>69339837
CIA agent? WTF???
Where did the punani meme originate from?
>>69354056
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vLe_BZ1mo3I
It's a slang term for pussy
>>69338446
Marked for Death is a blast
>>69354153
So he didn't actually say that in a movie?
>>69354419
I don't think so, I have some reserves in memeology though so I might be wrong
>>69336787
>>69336976
Which is the better movie?
>>69354153
Ive never actually listened to any of his music before. What the fuck ethnicity is he?
>>69354605
Hes a Chinese Ukrainian Native American honorary black man
>>69354605
Japanese, native american, american, italian and russian
>>69354605
that motha aint white
>>69354735
You left out that that mutha ain't white
>>69346357
i need a medic
>>69342285
>>Nico
>Birthday's coming up
>>69341919
>Walk in an alley
>See this
>What do you do?
>>69355597
>>69356019
What happened?Also it's Aikido
>>69356019
What happaned, stevie?
>>69356090
*Aikino
Why does he look the same in all his movies now? Same orange glasses, beard, fatness, scarf.
Is it some sort of seagal cinematic universe he's creating?
>>69356388
>yfw there is now a seagal universe where all his movies are canon
>>69356809
pure kïn'ô
EASY
>>69344917
Because he is incapable of playing a part that is just a cop. He has to be ex-SF/CIA/whatever. Just so you know how badass he is.
>>69345596
>Under Siege HD-DVD
>Under Siege 2 Blu-Ray
Nice touch.
/r/equesting title of the movie where EASY happens. Keywords on googlegod does nothing.
In change, the Buddhanaychure with Steven Seagal
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yxloUBCYuFM
>>69357124
scratch that, point to the clip on youtube plz, that shit's hilarious
>>69357013
Is there any flick where his character isnt former green beret, CIA, SEAL or mercenary?
Oh wait he wasnt he CIA IRL too?
>>69357186
well he is a big guy
>>69357124
Has been mentioned several times in the thread, but here ya go
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2dakhzl2SBQ
>>69357306
Thanks man, generic title wasnt helping I guess.
>>69357306
Was he looking at his penis and saying easy?
Sheeit I didn't realise EASY guy was in game of thrones.
Also he's a big guy
>>69340809
>Easy...
>>69340965
>EASY
>>69346594
>EAZYYYYYYYYYYYY
What did he mean by this?
>>69337655
I will back this glorious yet truthful post.
This is what is takes to change the essence of a man.
>>69337451
Dont forget under siege 2
Now with a new quirky black sidekick
E
A
S
>>69357538
>oi, easy, ya gonna get yer birthday snatched
>>69357637
Was that the dad of Eazy-E?
>>69337889
>I wonder what my bro Sergei and Putin are doing right now
>>69357683
This is where memes of epic proportions collide. A match made in meme heaven.
>>69356019
What happened?
>>69356376
I laughed.
>>69356376
>>69337639
Wait a minute, Sniper and Code of Honor came out within a week of each other!
>>69359037
>Sniper and Code of Honor came out within a week of each other!
Sounds familiar, crossover when?
I don't think anybody on capeshit could take Seagal 1v1
>>69359642
Who the fuck rushes someone while holding a gun?
>>69360685
It's funny how the average action movie goon's IQ is the same, whether it's high budget capeshit or seagal DTV crap
>>69359642
What is this from?
>>69360782
A Good Man
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d1In78YppuA
>>69360829
wtf its like a cross between tommy wiseau and google translate
>>69360829
>seagal kills 24 people
>seagal fights Cheng Zhi at the end
Seagal new Jack Bauer confirmed?
>>69337110
ROB
VAN
DAM
>>69360829
>>69360880
His voice fascinates me so much
>>69337639
I'll never get over that fucking accent.
>>69337639
so he's fully operatorkino now is he?
what's the next step of his master career?
holy fuck https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mojo_Priest
>>69356376
>>69361733
screencapped it for the thread
>>69361957
>Released April 2006
WHERE WAS THIS MAN'S GRAMMY?!
>>69361957
"dust my punani"
> AllMusic Review by Thom Jurek [-] Apparently, action movie actor Steven Seagal didn't toss in the towel after 2004's Songs from the Crystal Cave. That record couldn't make up its mind what it wanted it to be: adult contemporary, Triple AM, neo-soul, rock, or modern slick blues. Mojo Priest is a step up in terms of focus, and Seagal has learned how to use a recording studio. But here, he's focused on a kind of watered down, nocturnal form of urban blues. It's ultra-slick;
>>69337677
This is the containment board retard.
>>69361957
>Ballad of Bobby Lupo
my sides
Is Steven Seagul for real?
>>69336746
Is this scene kino?
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=OFxYGvRCrDk
>>69362425
>...
What did he mean by this?
>>69362497
I can never tell if he's sad or mad or just trying to remember his lines
>>69351210
>I wonder where did everything went so wrong
Burger King
>>69362555
They bullied him cuz of the way he runs, it all went south there
>>69362555
He's always been a poseur, it's just that his declined fame and aging have made it even more egregious.
ANYBODY SEEN RICHIE?!?
>>69362689
Nothing but a badge and a gun.
>>69362689
This was unironically a really cool scene.
>>69362689
ANYBODY SEEN BOBBY LUPO
>>69362689
[muffled fuck you in the background]
>>69362689
I know why Richie did Bobby Lupo
>>69362689
Hey Sticks,
yeah get him Sticks
/tv/ dubs Richieposting when?
editfag you lurking?
>>69362666
satanic trips: checked
That motion he does with his hands as he's fucking people up cracks me up every time.
Some guy posted a similar one months ago.
>>69362894
ANYBODY SEEN EDITFAG?!?
>>69362893
He Stinks, and I don't like him!
>>69362689
"Sticks" in that scene is the legendary Dan Inosanto, one of Bruce Lee's three students of Jeet Kune Do. I didn't know this until recently, and he is just a random mook.
Richie got SNATCHED
>>69363149
ANYBODY SEEN BIRTHDAYS
ANYBODY KNOW WHY RICHIE SNATCHED BOBBY LUPO'S BIRTHDAY?!
>>69345596
truly a man amongst ants
nice collection and dedication
>>69345596
After careful analysis, it seems that the thing on the bottom right is a reel containing the theatrical trailer to Out for Justice.
Holy. Shit.
How do you even play that mang, you got a projector just for that?
>>69340852
I was driving when i remembered this Webm i had to pull over because i feared i was going to crash from laughter.
>>69337639
What a fucking masterpiece, this is truly cinéma absolute
E
>>69363697
He's an African American man
>>69363697
>>69363809
Well, he WAS in an all-black band in the 50's, y'know
>>69363542
I hate when I'm out in public and I suddenly remember some funny shit I saw here. You can't even explain why you're laughing.
who wins?
>>69337451
Under Seige had some of the best tits ever put on film.
>>69363909
I think these are the tits you're referring to.
Forced meme.
>>69361211
Sounds like it was ADR'ed too, as if the actual actor was even worse
>>69364202
>Forced meme.
Well, I'm sorry to hear that...
>>69364191
www.muhdick.com/hot/damn/bruh
>>69364257
*memes*
>>69364202
Forced execution
>>69346357
>you'll never rek someone so hard a siren starts blaring for no reason
>Seagalposting on several /v/ threads
>Constant Seagal operator webms on /k/
I'm sure there's more crossposting, these are just the ones I've come across
Have we started the birthday?
>>69364717
Spotted on /vr/, /m/ and /vg/ too.
Seagal's time to shine has come!
>>69364717
>tfw Seagal got intimidated by Van Damme in that retarded indian chief costume
The whole story is a lot funnier to me now, kek
>>69336787
>>69337639
>code of honor
How fucking dumb were the Cops in that movie?
>didn't bother to search up Seagulls face to ID him
>walked the crime boss down to the police car in broad daylight when there was a sniper on the loose
>didn't bother to take dental records of the dead body at the end of the movie "the military will handle it now".
>>69364202
Lads, we don't have the official /b/ seal of approval, whatever will we do!
>>69366083
Well I'm sorry to hear that
*pause*
*confusion*
>>69337639
wait what, why is the cop getting into a knife fight with him
>>69361957
best scene coming through
>>69366456
I love Squib dancing. It's so stylized and fun.
Real world people getting shot is so boring and undramatic.
Is there a Seagal clothing line?
How am I suppose to get da punani if I don't look the part?
>>69367524
You just know he has a sacred tomahawk hidden in that baller ass jacket.
>>69367524
He has zero native ancestry right?
>>69367524
I didn't know he was rocking his autistic indian persona that late into his life. That pic can't be older than 10 years
>>69367769
As he grows old and senile, his identities are starting to overlap.
>>69367769
>his autistic Indian persona
THIS MUTHA AINT WHITE
>>69367810
But which one's the best?
>>69367846
>the gangsta
anyone got any clips from this kino?
