![the-witch-review[1].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/0BStVGK.jpg "the-witch-review[1].jpg")
I'm an hour into this trainwreck, when does it get good?
Nice b8 m8
Why are her eyes so far apart?
>>69227212
how is this b8?
Never
>>69227236
should I watch this or MAMA?
>>69227670
What's under her chin?
>>69227720
Her collar.
>>69227895
>>69227670
Why is she so lewd?
>>69227895
>>69227915
brit slag genes
w2c witch gf? serious replies only
>>69227194
I bet capeshit is "good" to you.
>>69227194
> mrw dem ankles
>>69227670
>>69227895
My father always told me to beware women with thin lips, and to seek out those with widely space eyes... Sage advice, dearly bought
>>69227194
1hr and 1 minute in
>>69227915
She is a slag.
>>69227963
I bet you watch slightly above average drivel (eg The Witch) and think they're actually masterpieces
>>69228100
>>69227236
>>69227194
Fuck off.
The Witch has a very monotonous setting but it's fascinating watching all the characters slowly going mad.
9/10
>>69227895
That thing someone did to Jokers mouth someone did to her eye holes
>>69228134
that's a good movie
the witch is bland af
>>69227236
>Why are her eyes so perfectly spaced?
FTFY
It gets good 90 minutes in.
>>69228340
Yeah but Ralph Ineson.
>>69228325
hue
>>69228438
my god she is perfect
>>69228499
>dem perky little tits
>dat adorable smile
>dem big green eyes
Forgive me, padre, for I have sinned
>>69227194
Nobody liked this and I totally understand why. However I liked it because I get hard for authentic slow burning period films. It's a New England Puritans nightmare realized in a film, I guess you have to put yourself in their shoes to realize how this could be seriously terrifying. Also Thomasin just wanted to suck dem titties but instead got the life sucked out of his dick by that witch.
>>69228739
I liked it, anon.
>>69228798
How could you not lust after such a perfect woman?
>>69228766
I'm glad because everyone was expecting some ooga booga shaky cam jump scare fest and I can't even.
>>69228739
> I get hard for authentic slow burning period films
Same here, anon. Any other films of this type that you enjoy?
>>69227194
PLEB
>>69227895
Oh God my Lord I now begin. Oh help me and I'll leave my sin.
For I repent and thou shall be. Thru evil I will turn to thee.
Whom ever shall destroy my faith. For I repent and thou shall be.
Oh God my Lord I now begin. Oh help me and I'll leave my sin.
For I repent and thou shall be.
Thru evil I will turn to thee.
>>69229083
Look mom, I posted on 4chan for the very first time!!
>>69228946
>Master and Commander
>The Bounty
>Gosford Park
>Dangerous Liasions
>Restoration
>The New World (Yeah I know but I have a soft spot for this one)
>The Name of the Rose
>Andrei Rublev
>The Duelist
>Barry Lyndon
>>69229187
Thanks based anon
The father was a retard
The mother was a cunt
Caleb got /ss/ to death
The twins were literally goat worshipers
Thomasin was my waifu...
>>69228739
Thomasin is the older sister
reddit loved this flick
>>69227194
It'll get good just as soon as you have taste.
>>69231203
shut up pleb
>you will never live deliciously
Literally finished this film hours ago.
I seriously couldn't enjoy the "horror" of it.
Not because it was bad per se, but Thomasin was just too fucking hot that I got distracted.
>>69231336
>>69231369
I was amazed she's 20. Bitch looks 15 tops in the movie.
Monroe tier genetics.
The Witch fuckin sucked and anybody who doesn't agree with this opinion is a fucking cuck.
>>69231498
She wasn't 20 when it was filmed obviously. Probably around 17-18
>>69227895
AYY
>>69228739
>authentic slow burning period films
>It's a New England Puritans nightmare realized in a film
this shit right here
its not a fucking horror film or any of that bullshit
its a very well done period piece about how these poor cucks actually lived and what they literally unironically believed
there is no need for spoopy jump scares - its a fucking history flick and its fantastic
absolutely fucking disgusting that people don't get that
i don't care if you thought it was supposed to be some shite pleb tier horror movie - you should be able to recognize that you were mislead and its actually something else thats actually good
>>69227895
Thomasin is cute!
>>69231336
I think it's inspired me to try to do so, honestly.
>>69227895
She's like those deformed youtube babies.
>>69231798
FUCC U M8 LETS SCRAP
>>69231798
For you.
I didn't like it. It sits in a grey area between an art film and a basic horror movie, failing at both. The subtexts are too heavy-handed and the atmosphere of realism and dread disappears with short bursts of over-acting and cheap genre tropes.
>>69227194
This movie is not for you. If you didn't like it then minutes in you should just shut it off. Enjoy watching paranormal activity part 99 a quest for more shakycam
>>69228739
>It's a New England Puritans nightmare realized in a film
that's what the guy who made it said in a vice interview. I guess you and he think the same thoughts
>>69232334
not that anon but you sound like a dick
It's an astute, obvious observation, and so what if he is making the same claim as the director
>>69228438
You just KNOW.
>>69232443
you should suck his cock then
>>69228739
Thomasin is the oldest sister you goon
you dont get to see her tits but you do get to see a nice bum bum
Thank god there is a witch thread, I still need therapy after seeing it 2 months ago
Thanks to this movie I've now realized I have a raging boner for movies directly and indirectly about Satan.
Any recommendations?
Pic related. I thoroughly enjoyed Horns.
![the-witch-goat_0[1].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/VFKTTd8.jpg "the-witch-goat_0[1].jpg")
>>69227194
It doesn't get good until the best character shows up.
>>69232946
Literally GOAT.
>>69232946
just like Drag me to Hell
>>69232908
V/H/S 2 has a story involving Satan, or at least a hellspawn.
I didn't understand the devil's motivations in this movie.
Was he only afterthat sweet, sweet cunny?
Why did hekill the kids?
>>69232908
Rosemary's Baby
Also anyone else do the Satan dialogue to themselves, in that voice? It's low-key fun.
Try it: Wouldst thou like to live deliciously?
>>69233072
To put her through horror, breaking her, and separating her from her family. After such atrocities she's more than willing to submit to the possibility of a delicious life, seeing the world, butter.
>>69232908
>Devil's Advocate
this one is really good with Neo and Hoooahhhh!
>>69233072
you know how he's always like, "do you see the book before thee?" he's after souls silly.
>>69233149
Yeah, but he ended up with one. He could've taken six.
>>69233170
I think he got everyone but the son and the father actually.
>>69233123
fucc me ded i just wanna lick her
Could you have resisted the powers of the v v itch, bros?
>>69233336
not even for a moment
>It's a /tv/ pretends to like one of the most boring movies of the year to act like they have superior taste episode
>>69233336
Depends if it was natural seduction or witchcraft.
Id obviously fall for the latter, otherwise seeing a whore in the middle of the woods is an immediate red flag.
>>69233392
how pleb do you have to be to think this movie is boring
>>69233392
this, unironically enjoying things is so passé
>>69233392
>boring
not an argument
>>69233392
IT'S 2016, PEOPLE.
COME ON!
>>69233415
>films are an art form created to entertain and pass time
>this movie is boring as fuck, therfore it has failed the most basic objective of any form of entertainment.
>>69233415
No, it's a description.
>>69227194
it doesnt get good, its just gets more like "are you still watching this, stupid?"
its being shilled by tards without gfs who have a stiffy for the adolescent blonde
>>69227194
at the begining
>>69233466
>art form created to entertain
wew lad
>>69233471
it's not even that, it's a brain fart. it tells more about your disposition than the actual movie
>>69233533
>Wew lad
Not an argument
>>69233506
How fucking dare you, sir.
To think for even a second that I would watch and re-watch a film simply to masturbate to a sexy, scantily clad woman is absolutely preposterous.
>>69231708
>i don't care if you thought it was supposed to be some shite pleb tier horror movie - you should be able to recognize that you were mislead and its actually something else thats actually good
I don't know why people are having trouble with this. There's a slide before the credits that literally says "so we just took some diaries and combined it with puritan folktales to make a movie"
It's not some exorcism movie, it's just a visual representation of what people actually believed back then.
>>69228739
Tomasin is the name of the girl you idiot.
>>69232908
Tenacious D and Pick of Destiny
someone post the screenshot of her ass i havnt DLed this yet
ITT: Plebs
>>69227895
she has a cow-like appearance
>>69233648
Shut the fuck up. She's bewitching.
>>69233648
Awe, you noticed she applied makeup to her nose to look animal-like. You're doing great my autistic pal, getting better every day.
>>69227670
>>69227895
>>69228438
>>69233707
Muh-muh-muhmuh-muh-muh.....
>>69233631
Apparently, the goat who played Black Phillip was harder to work with on set than Russell Crowe.
>>69234097
"If we wanted him to be doing something violent, he wanted to go to sleep. If he was supposed to be standing still, he was running around like a madman," Eggers recalls. He credits Ford, the film's editor, with piecing together whatever usable footage they had into the acclaimed performance.
No one in the cast had a rougher time with Charlie than Ralph Ineson. A veteran British actor with a bassy voice and large, aristocratic features, Ineson, 46, had to drop 30 pounds to play the family patriarch, a starving farmer. That left him at a distinct disadvantage when he was called upon to wrestle Black Phillip, as dictated by several scenes in the script.
"I didn't have a lot of gas in the tank, really," Ineson says of sparring with the beast, who weighed about 50 pounds more than him. "He was horrible. Really, really horrible. From the moment we set eyes on each other it was just kind of hate at first sight. He had two modes: chilling out and doing nothing, or attacking me."
On the fourth day of filming, Charlie rammed his serrated horns into Ineson's ribs, dislodging a tendon. "Everything hurt," Inerson recalls. "I spent the rest of the five-week shoot on painkillers."
>>69233707
thanks the projection, pedo
now bend over while the doctor injects more chemical castration in your testicle
>>69233392
>Grr be like me
>>69234295
>pedo
Anya is 20. You're doing great.
>>69234459
Poor loner fag. Someone insulted his girlfriend that he never knew.
>people stop midway movie to come and shitpost on 4shang
>>69234538
>people shitpost on /tv/ while watching movies
>>69228438
Sweet Christ she's perfect.
>>69234201
Thanks for info, based anon.
What would this film be like if they'd gone down the found footage route?
>1630s New England
>An English colonist and his son are searching for food
>The boy films his father with a 21st century handheld camera
WILLIAM: What art thou doing, Caleb?
CALEB: Filming thee with a camera, father.
WILLIAM: Pray, lad, what be a camera?
CALEB: 'Tis a device for the recording of the lives and deeds of men, father.
WILLIAM: 'Tis Indian magick, boy. Dispense with thy heathen technology and read of thy scriptures instead.
>Roll credits
>>69233086
Would that it were so simple.
solid 6/10
>>69233575
I would cum buckets in her.
>>69234767
hehe
>>69233392
>waaaaaah talk more about captain america
>>69235983
This. Capeshit has ruined this board.
>>69227194
just saw this
did i like it
>>69236079
Ask the bull
>>69228438
confirmed for actual devil
Am I the only one who got hard as fuck when
'take off thy shift'
>>69233631
best part
i love slow burn films, the problem with this is it didn't have enough of a payoff. great atmosphere though
>>69236399
Nigger are you kidding? That whole scene was erotic as fuck.
>>69236664
i know
she totally sucked his cock
>>69236208
Oh great. I hope he will say to her "Remove thy shift" in some of her next movies.
>>69233631
so stupid its funny
