>character wakes up
>I need my coffee
>"Don't talk to my until I've had my morning coffee!"
I'll talk to you whenever I please, dicknozzle.
>>69219011
>character wakes up
>water bed leaking
>trips on shoe
>lands face first and eyes are aligned with a clock that fell on he floor letting the character know he is late
>>69219100
Give it a rest, teenager.
>>69219110
name 6 kino where this happens
>character wakes up
>doesn't have an alarm clock connected to a spring that pies him in the face with a shaving cream pie
>>69219011
>character has coffee before eating anything
It is an American thing. They become addicted to caffeine and can't function without a morning coffee.
>>69219011
>straight male character pours himself a cup of coffee
>adds milk/sugar/splenda
>scene enters on character sleeping, who immediately wakes up looking perfect
>doesn't have boogers and a smear of drool across their cheek
>>69219011
tfw never had coffee in my life
>character wakes up
>immediately gets out of bed and starts his day
>>69219123
Look at the bottom left hand corner of your meme, friendo :^)
>>69219480
Which in turn is caused by Americans working too many hours and being sleep-deprived.
>Characters meet for coffee date
>Don't have the awkward, overwhelming urge to shit 20 minutes later
>>69219011
My dad was like that. Glad that fucker finally croaked, to be perfectly honest with you famalamadingdong.
>>69219792
>croaked
>>69219123
>Strawman: The image
>>69219723
It's like fucking clockwork
>>69221075
All uppers are like that, amphetamines especially.
>all these kids who don't drink their morning coffee
lel
>>69221237
>needing a chemical to stimulate your brain every day
>>69221295
>being a manchild
>>69221295
>not enjoying the taste of coffee with the stimulation being a pleasant side effect
>>69221295
Doesn't the brain function based mostly on chemical reactions anyway?
>>69219011
>character wakes up
>character wakes up
>doesn't have a throbbing, painful erection
>>69221474
I wish I liked the taste of coffee. I hate it and feel like I'm missing out on so much
>>69221482
It's all electrical impulses and chemical reactions son
>character wakes up
>it was all a dream
>Character wants coffee
>But only if its decaf
>>69219011
>don't talk to me until I've had my morning coffee
>but sir, you don't drink coffee
>character wakes up
>doesn't immediately grab his gun off the nightstand and spend 30 minutes deciding whether or not he should kill himself
>character wakes up
>girlfriend is packing telling him she's leaving
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G0NnpJb0NwY
>character wakes up
>doesnt have a raging, throbbing, foreskin bursting hardon which his hand automatically rockets to
>>69219519
It's really great when enjoyed and not used as a crutch. And when not taken to extremes of serving size like Americans are prone to doing.
>>69221843
>character is established as never having had a wet dream that stained the fuck out of his sheets and caused his mom to bring them out in front of the family
>>69221843
>character wakes up
>can smell his stinky crotch
>runs his fingers over his sweaty dick and balls
>sniffs them
>does it for ten minutes
>>69221884
In America the serving sizes are that big because it has less caffeine than other countries. I think.
I'm not a coffee doctor so I might be wrong
>>69221843
Dude, sea kelp if thats you
>>69219615
How do they live without their government-mandated nine months' vacation every European enjoys?
>>69219011
>charater wakes up
>doesnt immediately contemplate suicide
Immersion ruined
>>69222025
Who's gonna take this b8?
>>69219011
>>69219063
>>69219480
literally all of my co-workers do this, they all go out for coffee before 10am every day.
>tfw all the cute girls i work with ask me if i want to go with them to get coffee but i always say no because caffeine doesn't do anything to me and coffee makes me shit my brains out and fart for two hours
>>69221967
>character wakes up
>crotch smells like bad ranch dressing
>he's okay with this
>tfw I love coffee but it makes my heart go crazy and gives me the shakes and makes me feel like im going to die
>>69222170
still messin with them freak hoes
stank ass pussy smellin like cool ranch doritos
>>69222195
You should buy coffee with a lower caffeine count bro
>Character goes to the bathroom.
>Doesn't shake his dick at least two dozen times.
>Doesn't still get a little pee stain on his undies no matter how much he shakes.
>>69222267
I've tried decaf but even that still gives me a bit of the shakes with that tiny bit of caffeine
I guess my tolerance to it is just shit because I don't drink soda or anything. I'd probably have a heart attack if I drank an energy drink
>he doesn't have morning caffeine injections right into his dick
>>69222339
>character shakes dick
>doesnt get raging hardon that must be dealt with
>male characters are discussing urination
>one is horrified to learn another just flips his dick out over the top of his pants
>woman looks on like "o u boys" and is depicted as superior
>>69222339
this 2bh.
whenever i pee before i do it with my gf i get in bed and she gets mad that there's a pee spot on my undies
Something I find ironic about frogposters.
They're the crossposters from r9k who whine about "normies," yet the peak of frogposting is in daylight hours. You don't see as much at say 3 in the morning when the vampires who have truly given up on line browse 4chan.
It leads me to believe that most frogposters are just college/highschool students, many of them probably teenagers who spend too much time on reddit/twitter/facebook.
>character brushes his teeth
>there is no blood
All this fucking talk of coffee
>few years back
>go to visit relatives in Sweden
>They drink coffee every time that they sit down
>like 10 cups a day it seems
>decide to try some
>spend the next hour or so having stomach aches and shitting like my life depended on it (I think it did)
If the Swedes wanted to take care of their immigration problem, they could just hand out coffee at the border. Seriously, Ive never had coffee that strong anywhere else.
>>69222479
do you think everyone on 4chan is from the same timezone?
>>69222445
>>69222339
Key is to wet your hands and wipe em on your pants so you kinda have wet handprints covering the pee droplets
>character wakes up
>coffee house was just a dream
>character goes to bed
>keeps his shoes on
>>69222163
Don't put cream in it.
>>69222479
It's 2:17 right now.
>>69222479
What are you a 4chan detective?
>>69222508
>>character brushes his teeth
>>69222508
Your gums are weak bra go to a dentist
>>69222511
I think the majority of the board's population are American and there's only 4 hours difference from east to west coast.
>>69222508
>Character doesn't brush his teeth with cake frosting.
Fucking hate foreign films.
>>69222549
i don't, i use almond milk. everyone knows that coffee speeds up digestion and can cause diarrhoea
>>69222479
I've never been to /r9k/ pham
>>69219489
>le men cannot enjoy sweetened things meme
>>69222596
there are more europeans here than you think
>>69222479
>not realizing pepe became a normie meme literally years ago
Newfag
>>69222652
Sweetened coffee is disgusting though
>>69222693
depends on the kind of creamer tbqh
>>69222675
Shouldnt they be praying to Mecca?
who /gradys/ here
>european character acts smug when American is around
>cries self to sleep over tfw no greencard
>character wakes up dead
>character wakes up
>cries himself back to sleep
>>69223050
>character wakes up
>doesn't cry for thirty minutes before getting out of bed
they could just do it as a quick montage
>>69223115
>character wakes up
>there's a horse's head crying at end of bed
>a female character has literally never woken up with sheets soaked by a wet dream
Dont they know this happens to us too?
>>69223015
>romantic movie
>cumshots literally never "cum" up
Seriously?
>>69223192
(you)
>>69219011
>character exists
>doesn't go on 4chan to post Bliss
It's like they make this shit up
>characters use the F bomb every other word
>arent uneducated lowlives
>Vietnam war
>it ain't me starts playing
>>69219011
Show me your coffees /tv/
>characters have sex
>immediately turn and lay on their backs without showing any movements that the man pulled out or came inside of the woman
Always bothered me with sex scenes. Because if he ended up cumming inside the woman, it would be extremely messy and uncomfortable for her to just lay there and ignore it then go to sleep.
And it never shows the guy actually pulling out to cum anywhere.
>>69219123
>>69223535
And a male character has literally never gone to sleep with the condom on his dick and woken up to a crusty dry horror show.
>>69222652
If you add anything to your coffee you must not like the taste, so why not just take a fucking energy shot instead? There isn't a sweetener in the world that doesn't make the coffee taste like ass, literally for women, children and faggots who go "wahhh it's bitter!"
>character wakes up
>doesn't exercise before heading to the office
>character showers in the morning instead of just before bed
>>69221607
Good coffe is legit in the top 10 things in life
>>69224012
>Not starting your day off fresh
Disgusting faggot
>>69219455
i do
>>69224012
I hope this is bait because showering before bad makes zero sense whatsoever in any aspect of the concept
>>69224157
Does mommy still wash your sheets for you?
>>69224123
>any era
>sleeping in filth
>>69224157
>going to bed with disgusting body oils and sweat
Be honest how much acne do you have?
>Character goes to bed
>Immediately falls asleep
>>69224275
Be honest, is this an Amerifat thing?
>>69224012
>Character showering
>He can ignore the urge to touch his peepee in a sexual way
Unbelievable desu
>>69224424
I would pay money just to be able to fall asleep easily every night
>>69224275
>he doesn't just wipe himself down before bed
>character orders coffee
>drinks with lid on
>doesn't know that coffee workers pee on lids at night
>>69219011
Why don't autistics like coffee? I never knew that was a thing until this thread.
>>69224501
>european shower
>it has to sputter and spit because no water pressure
>>69224567
If only stores had a sleep aid section
>character takes toast out of toaster
>doesn't immediately go back to bed
>>69224777
I take 2 or 3 sleep aid capsules and still stay up for hours. Happened last week. They just make me sleep too long once I finally do fall asleep
>>69224275
Found the virgin
>>69219063
>dicknozzle.
You have to be 18 to post on 4chan.
>>69224723
>american shower
>>69224815
have you considered ... taking them earlier?
>character brushes their teeth instead of using hot coffee to kill all the bacteria
>female character says she can't live without her coffee
>proceeds to pour a cup of sugar and cream into it
>>69224843
???
>>69224912
I don't see a problem. That webm is the perfect hue of coffee
>>69219110
nigga, that only happened on one episode of the x-files
>>69224946
>nigga
Stop yousing that word cracker
>>69224912
dear god
Serious question: how do people not have natural energy when they wake up? How do you get to that point?
When I wake up I'm like "LOOK OUT MAN ETHAN COMMIN THROUGH!!!!""""
>>69224942
you disgust me
>>69224912
>>69224944
>>69224986
>Amerilards besmirch their coffee with all this cancer-causing flavouring bullshit
What the fuck is wrong with you people?
>>69224940
chlorinated water
>>69225063
>How do you get to that point?
adulthood
>>69225041
>yousing
>>69222195
Just get decaf.
>>69225119
So Americans bathe in the pool?
>>69225120
I'm 18 and I'm still like that. So is my dad and he's 51 with a swollen kidney
>>69225079
Our tastebuds are still functional. Whatever shit country you're from I'm sure the food and public water has destroyed all sense of taste for you, but we like to enjoy the taste of our drinks.
>>69225063
I do have natural energy when I wake up.
2 pm rolls around and I crash. I need an afternoon coffee.
>>69222339
>not using toilet paper to dry it off
It's like you want an ocean of piss in your undies bro
>>69225154
Better yet, they literally drink pool water. That's how degenerate they are.
>>69225063
By eating a hearty breakfast from McDonald's ™
>>69225228
I'm talking about the minute you jump out of bed man
>>69225172
>Talks shit about water when his is full of flouride
>>69225172
>American drinks are so shitty you need cancer to enjoy them
>>69225264
Oh by eating a plentiful dinner from McDonald's ™
>>69225172
>my tastebuds are functional
>needs boatloads of artificial flavoring and sugars to enjoy something
yeah, no wonder you're all obese.
>>69225170
I envy you, maybe I could be like that if I stop smoking and drinking every day
>>69225312
No I mean like the SECOND you wake up man. The second those eyes open
>>69225286
>tries refuting with Alex Jones tier nonsense
>>69225339
The waking thought of you heading down to your nearest McDonald's ™ and getting the new tasty Mcgriddle ™ for only $2.99 (for a limited time)
>>69225319
You gotta drop that man. Save it for the weekend, it feels like more of a relief.
During the week, you have to get in a productive head space, you have to ask yourself "what should I be thinking about, what should I be doing?". That's how you get ahead in life man. But you have to stay sane, that's what weekends are for.
>>69219011
>character wakes up
>begins fondling his testicles
>wakes his wife for a quick morning fuck
>Giving her the bone
>kids walk in and ruin everything.
>>69225427
No man I mean before you can even THINK man, you just there.
>>69222163
"Sure, I'll go"
It's that easy you sperglord, you don't have to actually drink coffee since the whole "would you like to come with me for a thing" is for your company rather than drinking coffee
>>69225359
enjoy your third eye being blocked.
>>69225522
Science has never proven the existence of a sixth sensory organ.
>>69225502
By having a healthy diet of McDonald's ™ every day. I'm loving it, are you? ™
>>69225567
I think I'm lovin it...but I might need to know some other delicious gourmet dishes on the menu of my local McDonald's??
>>69225079
>cancer-causing flavouring bullshit
britcucks literally believe in conspiracy theories
>>69225712
>Chicken Mcnuggets; tender, juicy chicken mcnuggets made with white meat, wrapped up in a crisp tempura batter. made for sharing, or, if you want 'em all to yourself, then that's our little secret.
Just one of many choices that will give you the pick up you're looking for. I'm loving it ™
>>69225318
It's disgusting really. Why would you even drink coffee if the taste offends you so much that you need to dump milk, creamer and other shit into it? Drink it black or not at all
>entire family eats breakfast together in the morning
>parents has time before work to do this
>>69219455
whats wrong with this?
>character's mom doesn't give him a blowjob to wake him up
>>69219110
Record scratch
Freeze frame
> You're probably wondering how i got so late
>>69219455
I do this most every morning.
Dumb mouseposter
>>69219011
>character wakes up
>lights cigarette
>takes one drag
>puts it out
>>69219011
>character wakes up
>no boner
>>69225499
They should do a realistic one:
>Parents having morning fuck.
>Kid Walks in "Mummy? I want cocopops."
>Dad goes into rage mode and gets out of bed.
>Grabs kid by his PJ's and slams him against the wall.
>"Sit there and watch you little cunt!"
>Mummy starts screaming.
>Dad holds her down while fucking her.
>Staring into my eyes as he does it.
Why won't he stop? Why didn't he stop /tv/?
>>69229325
what's wrong with you?
>character doesnt make their coffee with a French Press
>>69229621
Percolator master race checking in
>>69229567
I watched too much teenage mutant hero turtles when I were a lad.
>character is an attractive white male with plenty of money
>is unhappy
>>69222339
>Not using toilet paper
Come on, guys.
>>69229955
reminds me of this movie coming out
>The vacation of a famous rock star and a filmmaker is disrupted by the unexpected visit of an old friend and his daughter.
Happy successful attractive white people and their petty relationship problems. Who the fuck wants to watch this?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1mOVgI0-pb4
>fucking
>no condoms
Every fucking time, m8
>>69222163
>caffeine doesn't do anything to me
>soffee makes me shit my brains out and fart for two hours
you dumb
>>69230114
That looks great desu senpai
>>69219455
frig off
>he isn't addicted to caffeine
lmao what a fucking pussy
>character wakes up
>everything is great
>wakes up again
>everything is not great
Well which is it?
>character goes out with friends
>they all laugh and shoot the shit
>something amazing happens that they will all remember
>he doesn't wake up
>>69219499
>doesn't have dried tears across their face
>>69221803
"Listen to me very carefully because I'm only going to say this once: COCK. BLACK."
>>69230536
all me
