ITT: Times you acted like the Joker
>order mcdonalds
>pay for it
>leave before its ready
HAHAHA HEE HEE HEE HO HO HO
>>69138551
I'VE GONE COMPLETELY BONKERS MOTHER
>>69138551
Did your mom freak?
> Poo in pants
> go to friends house
> sit in his new sofa
>>69138551
absolute madman
>Guy leaves his watch in uni class
>Take it
>Turn it back by five minutes
>Give him the watch back
>Now he'll be five minutes late for everything
>>69138580
>Hey kid, wanna buy some magic
Suicide Squad hasn't even been released and it's already out memeing civil war
Will marvel ever make a proper meme movie?
I 'forgot' to resupply my wife's buck with a new box of condoms as I was ordered to ;)
Before you read this: Please don't judge me... I'm just sharing my story because people asked...
Wow... okay, I wasn't sure if I was ever going to tell anyone about this, but it's late and I'm sleep deprived so i guess I'll just write it now and regret it in the morning :/
First of all, - just for some background: My mom died right when I was born, (she was actually really, really hot- but this isn't about her. I guess that's ****ed up to say, but whatever.) I actually grew up with my Mom's family, because my dad has all sorts of emotional issues and he bailed before I was born. So you can see, my childhood was really kind of messed up.
Anyways, growing up I feel like there was always a lot of distance between me and my sister. When I was about 17 or 18 I first noticed that my sister was a hottie.
I don't want to go into to many details about it, but basically what happened is that I accidentally found a video that she made of herself. I knew she didn't make it for me- but I thought she was so ****ing beautiful that I watched it twice. (probably would have watched it a hell of a lot more, except that like right around the time I found the video, all this crazy **** went down and I had to leave home. (My mom's family who I was staying with got in bad trouble with the law. I never talk about it).
Sooo... I was totally lusting after my sister at that point. She was also having bad trouble with the law. She was actually in custody when I left home.
1/2
>have 3 huge scars on my chest from a car accident
>had a girl at my place a couple months ago
>ask her if she wants to know where I got these scars
>>69138681
>measuring a film's success via the quality and amount of memes created around the film on a Japanese image board
>>69138125
>infiltrate a hospital for lolz
>dress up like a half nurse/half clown rape baby
>nobody notices how brave I am
>blow up the hospital in revenge
>guy asks me for directions
>apologise and say I don't know the area
>he says 'ah, no problem'
>as I walk away a smirk grows, for I do know the area well
>homeless man asks me for change
>say I don't have any
>I actually do
DEVILISH
This morning
I took a shit BEFORE showeringHonestly I want to be stopped someone call the police please I need help
>>69138734
>tfw you're such a marveldrone you have to protect Disney kid films from even a vague hint of being insulted
Guy left his e-mail account open in one of my university library's public computer kiosk.
I proceeded to send incredibly rude and hateful e-mails to a majority of his loved ones before logging out.
For fun.
>walking down the street
>homeless bum asks me for money
> say i dont carry change which is true
>but at that moment i was carrying change
>>69138797
I think you need help if you do it the other way around buddy
i used blue ink on my test paper in high school
>>69138681
Guardians was literally meme reddit desu senpai
>>69138884
Only "dance off" was a meme and it didn't have any staying power
>>69138551
Dana Carvey Show thief
>I don't always finish my greentextsDAMAGED
>>69138819
DCucks know no boundaries
>friend asks me if I want to see Suicide Squad
>I say yes
>I actually don't
>register as an employer on a website mediating IT jobs
>put out job as junior software engineer with high starting salary
>mailed an applicant and said he had the job if he moved to this city before august
>there is no job
HEEEEEEEEY
SHUT THE FUCK UUUUUUP
I'M TRYIN TO GET A SMILEY FACE TATTOOOO
>what is groot
>what is rocket
>what is everything drax says
>>69138125
N E V E R
>>69138884
GotG is reddit tier memeing, so it was played out by the time it even got in theaters. Even Jurassic World gave us longer lasting memes.
>>69138923
>he's still doing it
LOL
O
L
I stabbed a man with a rubber knife
>>69138873
facebook tier answer
>be in army
>squad m8 tells me to cover him
>don't cover him
>be on /tv/
>op asks for times i acted like the joker
>dutifully oblige
>>69138797
I think that's doing it right my scheming memeing friend.
>>69138664
no you didn't
>someone asks for the time
>"It's about quarter to six"
>it was 12 minutes to 6
>>69138623
>9fag watermark
>>69138961
Groot tried to be a meme but it didn't work.
>Mom says dinner will be ready in 15 minutes
>sneak into the kitchen and eat a cookie
SOMEONE STOP ME I AM DAMAGED TO THE CORE.
>take 25i
>laugh for 13 hours straight
>laughing at nothing
>crying while laughing
>can't stop laughing
>staring in the mirror laughing
>staring at the ceiling laughing
>make it stop
>HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA
>please let me die
Do not take 25i.
>eating dinner with the family
>mom says i cant get down from table until i finish my vegtables
>ew gross am i right lmfao
>i put them in my mouth and pretend to swallow
>proceed to get down and go to the toilet spitting them out and flushing
haha if she found out she would of FREAKED
>playing with pupper
>who's a good boy? who's a good boy?
>don't tell pupper he's a good boy
>>69138763
>guy asked me for directions
>"please hey man I'm new to this area I need to find the hospital"
>sure no prob friend it's a couple blocks that way
>but I told him the wrong direction!
>>69138125
when i put whipped cream on my friends face
AND TICKLED HIS NOSE WITH A FEATHER
YOU CAN GUESS WHAT HAPPENED NEXT!!!!!!!!!!!!!
>no ice cream unless I finish all of my vegetables
>discretely feed them to our dog under the table
>eat ice cream
>mom still doesn't know
>>69141503
What happened? You can't fucking make a post like that and then leave me hanging.
>>69141494
You son of a bitch he probably really needed to be there for someone. How do I even share a board with you animals?
>>69138726
WHERES THE SECOND PART WHERE YOU TWO END UP BANGING REEEEEEEE
>>69141622
HE
FREAKED
>>69138125
>be at a packed bus
>old lady asks if she can have my seat cause her legs hurt
>"no"
:]
>>69141693
I know right! His mom was probably really sick or something that's why I did it LMAO
>annoying guy from my class sits next to me on the train
>make small talk
>"oh here's my stop"
>get off and immediately get back on different carriage just to get away from him
>he saw this and I don't care
>>69141382
I assume that's some sort of degenerate drug you hippie faggots can't properly name.
>>69138623
>obese dog
>obese owner
Gas em both
I used wikipedia as a source on my final Physics paper
I regret it everyday.......NOT!
>>69141903
It's a research chemical. Kinda like synthetic mescaline. It's prettyfun
>>69141987
You absolute madman! You actually got away with that?
I broke the sink in the bathroom, and didn't tell anybody. Wait that's not joker. That's Ricky bobby from walk hard.
One day, after I brushed my teeth, I drank orange juice
... ON PURPOSE
>>69141459
too far
>>69141459
TELL HIM HES A GOOD BOY
>>69138125
One time I ate my roommates take out and left the box in the fridge
>>69138763
kek
>someone asks me if im in line
>say yes even though I wasnt in line
>buy something to seal the deal
Bitch got fooled I was never in line
>>69138551
ABSOLUTE
>Guy asks to me grab the object with both hands
>Only use a single hand
MOMS
>On holiday in New York
>Go to Wall Street
>Yell 'CUT'
>Noone does anything
Fucking monkers
>moving desk with friend
>he tells me to lift with my legs
>lift with my back
HE FREAKED
>Waiter tells me plate is hot
>Grab it anyway
Bought an adult priced bus ticket back when I wasnt old enough
He he he ho ho ho
>>69138125
>go outside and around house to brother window so I can use his WiFi
>knock on his window
>he opens the window and says "what are you doing here"
>I tell him to turn on the news, will Smith was wanted for murder, the police knew he was at the scene because they found fresh prints
>he closes his window and starts telling his Xbox live friends
>I SCREAM "They found fresh prints!"
>he looks out the window visable upset and confused
>" fresh prints" I yelled again
He didn't get it and went on to tell me later that I was thinking of another Will Smith. We was with my grandmother at the time. I told him again that I knew it was THE Will Smith because he left fresh prints. My grandmother got the joke immediately.
>>69138125
I pee in swimming pools >:D
>>69138125
>Leaving McDonalds
>Lady says have a nice day
>I don't
Dentist told me to floss after every meal.
.
.
.
.
....I only do it before I go to sleep
>>69143625
Upvoated
>call someone reddit
>know that he's obviously from 4chan
>friend falls asleep in my chair
>put his hand in warm water
>he wakes up and asks what the fuck I'm doing
>>69138734
>measuring a film's success via the quality and amount of memes created around the film on a Japanese image board
Are you implying that any other metric of a films success matters?
>>69138729
madman
>>69143853
Don't bother. He's just a hothead.
>>69143896
i like this
>Buy every ticket to matinée BvS showing
>Sit in theater alone
>go far a long trip in the car
>go to the rest stop
>i say i don't have to go
>i lied, i got a uti
>friend1 puts thumbtack on friend2's chair
>friend2 takes too long to return
>friend1 gets up to see where the fuck friend2 is
>takes the thumbtack and put on friend1's chair
>friend1 returns and sit on the thumbtack and screams
>>69143942
>watch the english dub
>go on /a/
>claim you can't tell how good or bad the voice acting is unless it's your native language
HEEHAHAHAHEHEHEHAH
>>69138734
Well duh
This is why I consider Paul Blart better than say 12 years a slave.
I put sugar in Mom's salt shaker.
HOPE YOU LIKE YOUR STEAKS EXTRA SWEET
I stole a Beward of Dog sign and a few days later I was watching Lord of War and they were talking about Jared Leto's character staring at a Beware of Dog sign.
Truly there is only chaos.
I went on an anonymous imageboard once and posted with a tripcode.And I didn't even post an image.
>report a bomb is inside the mall
>the bomb is actually in the library
I told someone that avatar (the show) was an anime.
WHEN I WAS GOD ONLY CHILD
>>69144067
12 years a slave had Classic Paul Dano and Run Nigger Run though. What does Paul Blart have on that level.
>>69141989
Lol why can't you queers just grow mushrooms like a resonable person
>>69138623
>tell my mom i'll be home in 10 minutes
>get there in 20 minutes
>>69138961
I don't know. Are those supposed to be memes?
>>69138763
Kek
>>69144031
Is there a video of a full playthrough?
>>69138125
my god i fucking hate jared leto
>"DO NOT WRITE BELOW THIS LINE."
>draw a smiley face instead
>made a post on 4chan about my reaction to an event that happened
>mfw I didn't post a face
>ask mom to come to my room
>pretend I'm asleep when she comes
Didn't think I would ever admit this, but here we go:
>Order a pizza online
>Select the "pay with debit" option
>Arrive at Domino's
>Hand them a credit card
I paid for groceries with a check the other day.
I left the store chuckling to myself, the cashier thought I was such a loon!
>Chinese buffet has a "no wasted food" policy
>grab WAY MORE food than I want
>give it to a homeless man after I leave
Never felt more Chaotic Evil than in that moment.
>pour glass of milk
>leave a tiny bit of milk in the carton
>put it back in the fridge
TAKE THAT MOM
>>69146003
Why would you give a man eating at a buffet some food?
I only ask because I know all-you-can-eat buffets with a "no wasted food" policy don't allow you to take leftovers.
>take a penny
>have never once left a penny
posting this anonymously and getting away with it is such a thrill!
>peed into the toilet
>didn't flush
MOM'S GONNA
>made an /r9k/ thread on /tv/
>got 150 replies
>Speed limit is 30mph
>Drive 31mph
HAAHAHAHAHAHAH
>>69146444
>shitpost on /tv/
>gets trips
>>69138125
ITT the correct answer for everybody who posts in this thread is zero.
>>69138551
M A D M A N
A
D
M
A
N
>>69145869
That's fucking brutal, dude.
>Go to Wendy's
>Tell them to take the tomatos off my burger because I am deathly allergic
>I actually am not
MOM FREAKED
>>69138797
I took a shit while showering, get on my level senpei.
I've never acted like the joker, but one time I encountered the joker..
>ride my bicycle around the lake
>guy stops me and asks for directions
>I tell him where to go
>he leaves
HE DIDN'T SAY THANK YOU OR ANYTHING, HE LEFT JUST LIKE THAT.
I AM FREAKING JUST THINKING ABOUT IT
I change wallpapers of apple products in stores to a gentoo wallpaper.
I pretended not to like a videogame this other guy in my class liked just to see his reaction
>>69145104
not to forget 12 years a slav
>>69147221
>guy pulls up next to me and asks for directions
>I give him wrong directions
ABSOLUTE
B
S
O
L
U
T
E
>>69147255
>I pretended not to like a videogame this other guy in my class liked just to see his reaction
Welcome aboard!
>>>/v/
>>69138763
absolutely nihilistic
>washing the dishes at home
>never wiped the wet dishes dry before putting them in dish storage
>>69147372
Thanks, friend. :^)
>>69144789
is this the epitome of a victimless crime?
>>69138763I literally always do this because I don't feel like explaining things to a random stranger
>>69138884
What memes were in gotg?
>>69147581
Jared?
>>69138961
>trying this hard to defend the meme status of a movie
Absolute madman
>Friend asks me what video game console he should buy
>eyes dart back and forth, the mischief has begun
>"Wii U"
HEE HEE HA HA HA HOO
>Get inside the metro
>As the door close some guy come running a second to late to get on board
>Stare directly in his eye smiling machiavelliechaly
AHAHAHAHAHAHAH
>>69138763
>Walking alongside freeway
>Truck stops next to me
>This big stereotypical trucker fucker hops out
>Do you know where the docks are? he asks.
>Yeah, just go down this road for 4 blocks.
>He thanks me and drives away
I still have no idea where those docks are, lol.
>>69148279
Truckers have GPS. He knew where the 'docks' were. It was a code for solicitation for oral sex.
And frankly you had it coming. What sort of slut walks alongside a freeway?
>>69138763
only good one
step it up /tv/
>>69138681
You do realize things get turned into maymays ironically, because they're bad or ridiculous, don't you? Did you skip that day in your meme studies class?
>>69148394
Hush now child, this was before gps were mainstream.
But you got me on that slut part lol.
>>69138125
>I took a shit in my aunts cat litter box
>then waited for her reaction
>literally weighed myself before and after
>1+ pound turds
>varieties of turds
>wet mountains
>thick long ropes
>slippery snakes
>sputters of nothing but wet mess everywhere
>used to somewhat cover them up with poop scooper
>so it was like the cat burried them
>poop scooper was broken on one side
>the 1+ pound turds would have bent the scooper for sure
>if not making it impossible to pick up
>also pissed in kitty litter box
>like a giant human piss that would pretty much flood the box
>it would turn hard in the litter, just a giant pancake of human waste
she never caught on, or questioned it, my cousin did it a bit too but felt bad that she never caught on
>I didn't, fuck her it's hilarious
we even told her we used to do it.....she wouldn't believe us
>>69148467
thats not true
baneposting is a thing because of how objectively great TDKR was
>>69138763
SAVAGE
A
V
A
G
E
>>69148467
wrong, I Perrypost because I love the movie
>sign says no loitering
>pass out beneath sign
>wake up with a ticket for $500 stapled to my arm
>too broke to pay it
>>69147249
Doing /g/ods work Richard
>>69149167
Nobody cares about Jenny's take on Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice, Janny.
This thread is just memetastic
>>69149398
Here's your (You), enjoy.
>>69149306
It's called a hothead, you get him out of here.
>WHERE'S MUH CHOPPER, BANE?
![LOCO-VALDES-JOKER[1].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/VV1g8WJ.jpg "LOCO-VALDES-JOKER[1].jpg")
>Pre-book movie ticket online
>When I get there theatre is empty
>Change to a better seat
>>69145869
Are you serious man? Did you get caught? Did mom freak?
I once used my joker voice on a heckler at one of my concerts.
>>69142652
Also Batman in BvS
>>69142805
>>69146180
Go to your room
>>69138125
>ITT: Times you acted like the Joker
I told my mom i hated her. She died the next day.
>be in construction demonstration
>supervisor says to me he needs the clamps and points to them
>I just nod and smile
ABSOLUTELY FREAKED HIM LADS
>>69138763
>guy asks me for directions
>tell him to turn around and look straight forward
>knock him out and rape him on the street
he still doesn't know where the toilets are
>>69138726
ok luke
>>69148467
Are you implying that the plane crash scene is anything but perfection? It's so great, it made Aiden Gillan a Hollywood star even though the scene lasted barely 5 minutes.
>put sharpie in my bp while masturbating
>next day
>kid in college asks if i have a pen
>give him the sharpie
>mfw he chews on the end
lol thats my poo you dumb idiot
>with girl on a train station
>remember that girls like bad guys
>announcer said don't step over the yellow line
>put foot two inches past the yellow line
>plan on fixing my sleep schedule
>sleep all day and don't fix anything
I'm insane.
>Moms says I can't play videa for the next week
>Puts an Internet lock on 4chan and /r/fur
>Kill that bitch
>Rape her
>mom tells me to clean my room
>shove everything under my bed
>>69151033
>mom says I'm not allowed to use the Internet
>unplugs my Internet cable
>plug it back in while she's at work
I got a DWI
Can you imagine the scene in which The Joker explains to the tattoo artist that he want's the word "Damaged" tattooed to his for head and what font he wants for the "HA HA HA HA" tattoo.
>>69150412
Rape is not funny, anon. Very unjoker.
>>69138125
>waitress asks if i want cream or sugar in my coffee
>say yes please
>i actually like black sugarless coffee but i drink it anyway heHEHEEEHEEHEEHEHEHEEE
>>69138125
>go to poor friend's house
>take a shit
>throw the paper on the toilet instead of throwing it into the designated shit bin
>flush afterwards
>>69138125
>be at movie theatre with family
>big line formed outside of specific theatre
>doors open and I walk in
>older dude with his family tries to stop me, tells me to go to the back of the line
>tell him lines are a social construct, nobody told them to get there early and line up
>looks like he wants to fight me, but utterly he knows he is defeated
>>69152038
ABSOLUTELY MENTAL
>>69152944
I saw something similar happen in a supermarket checkout line. A sickly old woman cut to the front of the line, probably because she has difficulty walking or standing for a long period of time.
The cashier told her to get to the back of the line though.
Old sickly lady BTFO.
>>69138915
You're old.
Alos it's called The Taco Bell Dana Carvey Show,jerk.
>told my friend Liam to lay on the floor
>he actually did it
>Went to /tv/
>Posted about Bane
MOM'S
>>69143300
ye
>Told girl everything was going to be fine
>turned her into a heroine addicted prostitute
>>69151351
stop please
>>69138940
>Create job post for job I want
>Recieve tons of resumes from people in my field
>edit their name and contact details and apply for jobs with my new CV.
>>69138125
>mate leaves his smartphone lying around
>correctly guess his unlock password
>change the language to Chinese
>>69138822
lol some kid did something similar at my uni except he sent emails to like TAs and professors offering sex for good grades (it was a girl who left her email open), the computer lab had a CCTV setup so he got identified and arrested
>>69138674
Fuck off back to r3ddit?
>>69153201
;_;
>>69138700
>not letting your buck cum inside while you eat her out
shit cuckee, faggot
>>69138125
>Fat chick sleeping on couch day after party
>carefully paint stick of butter next to her mouth with sharpie
>carefully wet her feet
>rub butter onto floor
>close door
>start pounding on it
>wakes up startled
>open door back up
>perfect timing, she was standing up
>takes one step
>back is covered in butter and ready to be fried
It was more a had to be there series of events. Needless to say I almost went into a coma laughing so hard.
>>69148467
TDK, TDKR, to a lesser extent MoS, and now BvS are all meme factories because of the quality of their film making.
>buy a 3D HD IMAX deluxe ticket to batman v superman on opening night
>grab a seat in the standard definition screen
>checking out at the mall
>cashier tells me to "have a good day"
>I didn't
>>69138734
Say whatever the fuck you want about this retarded meme factory of a board but TDKR was forgettable as fuck and memes are the only reason it is actively discussed even to this day.
>be OP
>make a /devilish/ thread on /tv/
>thinly veil it as a joker thread instead
hehehe
>Tell my SJW classmates I'm voting for Bernie
>Vote for Trump in the primary anyway
>>69141382
>take 3.6 mg of 25i
>hallucinate so hard I can see myself levitating in the room
>see myself on fire like goku
>I feel like I'm the epitome of manliness and raw strength
>I start fighting with my sneaky backstabbing jew of a friend
>wake up in the hospital with a tube in my mouth
>I overdosed and passed out
I don't recommend taking more than 2 mg
>>69154026
I laughed so hard at this one
>browse a thread full of greentext
>don't even read them unless they have +5 replies
>>69148976
Baneposting is a thing because of how that scene made little to no fucking sense, Bane's voice was pitifull and the movie is a shit pile.
>>69154560
Baneposting is a thing because retards forced the "what did he mean by 'for you'" for weeks to no end until it caught on.
>>69148976
this!
I went to the back of a theater and put my hand in front of the projector and walked back and forth and on the way out I yelled "have fun"
>>69154652
>retards forced the "what did he mean by 'for you'" for weeks to no end until it caught on
It was literally one insanely autistic spammer. But even though I hate forced memes I have to admit that this faggot was something special.
>one day he made like 10 threads in under an hour
>all got deleted before 5 replies
>made a thread where he posted the subtitled screenshot where bane says FOR YOU
>but in every language
>PARA TU
>POUR TOI
>为ä½
He got up to like 30 languages. It was then that I knew I was in the presence of the Fabled One
>ordered a Coke
>"Is Pepsi okay?"
>said yes
>>69154384
This
>really annoying compulsive liar guy lives close to me and thinks we're friends
>he ask for my phone #
>I gave it to him
>>69143824
did he FREAK????
>go on /tv/ every day
>make a banepost
>reply to it with an angry copypasta
>call myself a hothead
MOD'S GONNA FREAK
>Sign says no right turn after 7 AM
>It's 7:01
>I turn right
>send one of my coworkers a living rat
>send another some used condoms
i am sick in the head
>at work
>fart in a storage room with no ventilation
>people literally suffocate and tearing up
>they think somethings rotten in the fridge
>i try to contain laughter for 8 hours
>thirsty
>water jug in fridge, cups within reach
>DriNk Fr0m JuG aNywAy
>at work
>locker room
>look at piece of paper
>it's the lunch schedule
>1hr is written on it
>insert a 30mins
>lunch is now 1hr 30mins
Almost got fired for that one b/c 5 coworkers went for an hour and thirty minutes and thought it was for real
>>69152872
Oh god not this stupid meme again...
>>69138125
I guess that means Leto can't be part of this thread...
>tie a man down
>kill his entire family in front of him
>shake up his soda
>he opens it
Chaos
>>69147127
this
>>69157244
that's not a meme that's mexicans
>post some lewd reaction images but never give source
>>69141898
>He saw this
kek, what did you do?
>escape prison
>shoot police commisioners daughter, paralyzing her
>let two meat heads rape her
>take pics
>make police commisioner look at photos in crazy demented carnival ride
I also replaced the salt in the sugar jar, MOM FREAKED.
>Friends tell me to get on the floor
>dont do it
N E U R O T Y P I C A L
>>69157560
turtle.fish.paint, idolm@ster cinderella girls, for people trying to look it up.
I hate myself for knowing all that just by looking at the image, but eh, I guess if my encyclopedic knowledge of hentai will ever come in handy, it'll probably be now or on some weird Japanese trivia show.
i dropped the screw in the tuna
>>69159944
It's not turtle.fish.paint. It's a Gujira doujin.
>decline bench press
>do it anyway
>>69138763
Hitler 2.0
Drop in on a meeting and do the pencil trick.
>>69146003
literally, the epitome of neutral good. But you knew that.
Mom's gonna freak.
I put minute rice for59 seconds
>>69148163
>wii u
>wew
>wewlad
>wait until old miss Weathers to go inside to bake her pies
>sneak into her flower garden
>take her flowers out of the ground and replant them in different places
hehehehe SHE'LL GO CUHRAZZY
