/tv/ IT'S THE TELEVISION EVENT OF THE YEAR! BATTLE OF THE NATIONS 2016
Battle of the Nations starts today. It's basically a real life chivalry where europoor nations dress up in medieval gear and beat the shit out of each other. The politics is hilarious, the fighting is intense, and people usually end up with mashed limbs.
live stream: https://youtu.be/PqE-FXzx3Lo
WHICH SHITTY EUROPOOR COUNTRY DO YOU SIDE WITH?
>>69136784
All on Finns.
>>69136784
I'd like to battle their nations if you know what I mean.
>>69136784
Two women.
Dropped.
Are God's own country in it?
>>69136915
#GWI
>>69136801
This, still basically undefeated.
>>69136915
Yes, and US and AU and NZ for some reason
how the fuck did anyone manage to die in ancient times if they had armour
I stand with stannis
>>69136993
Most of them weren't knights I think.
>>69136993
Infection.
>>69136993
>not everyone could afford armor
>armor doesn't always protect the entire body
>weapons were made to pierce armor or for stabbing/cutting at exposed locations.
Russians in BotN are OP please nerf.
RUSSIA STRONK
>the not so historical gaffer tape
HEH
>>69136993
Armor was extremely expensive, most soldiers had to make do with less than what is worn in modern tournaments.
Weapons used in warfare were tailored to penetrate armor. Spikes, daggers, hammers. Whacking each other with swords like in Battle of Nations can score points in the eyes of a judge, but isn't as effective at killing.
Killing wasn't always the point. A couple of peasants might gang up on a knight, grapple or wound him, but keep him alive for ransom.
In general, battles back then weren't incredibly deadly. Forensic evidence of medieval soldiers suggests that the average fighter might accumulate many small wounds in battles spread over years before eventually biting it.
>Argentina
wtf
>>69136993
>>69136993
THE PLAGUE
wow this is so bad.
>>69138375
It should be Europe only tbqh, more immersive. Although if they already do a "Europe only" tournament then it would be ok.
>>69136993
You push the guy on the ground, grapple him, and then stick a dagger into a gap in the armor.
>eurocucks are so backwards they still fight like it's medieval times
>>69136784
>mfw there are still white people in Europe
>>69136784
not even joking, i watched a short vimeo documentary on this the other day
it was about some guy in new jersey hoping to win the regionals, nationals and then the worldwide
his team was knocked out in the first match...
How many damsels does the victor claim at the end?
>>69139242
They all look like men in dresses. Quite fitting for Yuropoor.
I think regular longsword fencing looks better desu, this is just weighed-down tired guys bashing each other over and over again
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5zueF4Mu2uM
>>69139242
Damsels are not there to be claimed by some brutish knight, they are there to be respected by their intellectual equals
I'd be surprised if anyone wanted the victor! They'd be much more likely to go for the quiet helpers with obvious wit who were above such juvenile games
:')
go denmark!
>sword and shield
Oh shit
Lol The Mountai is BTFO that manlet
>>69136993
>how the fuck does anyone manage to die these days with bullet proof body armor
Though seriously people died from
>Getting hit in gaps
>Getting hit really hard
>Getting crushed by things
>Drowning
>Scalding
>Getting cooked by the sun, turns out metal gets hot
and most commonly
>Falling off of horses
>>69139295
What didst thou just spake of me, thou dog? Know this, knave, I am the best sword in the fleets of Sir Francis Drake, and I hath partaken in numerous raids ‘pon the ports of Spain and hath carried off over three hundred Doubloons! I am trained in musket warfare and am the best shot in the militias of His Majesty! Thou art nothing to me but another target. I shalt strike thee down with all the furies of the Heavens above and Hells below, of a sort not yet seen on this Earth. Thou thinkest that ye can slander me, naught consequence? Thou art mistaken. For as we speak, I am contacting my spies and friends cross’t the breadth of old England to locate thou, so thou best prepare for mine storm, ye cowardly poltroon. A divine storm that shalt wipe out ye pathetic existence. Thou art but food for mine dogs, for I canst be anwhere at any time, and I canst kill thou in over seven hundred ways with naught but mine sword and buckler. Nay, not only am I extensively trained in the arts of unarmed combat, but I hath also access to the entire arsenals of His Majesty’s militias. I shalt use it to its full extent to wipe thine miserable body of the face of Our Lord’s Earth, ye dog. Alas, if only thou had knownst what unholy retribution thine libels were about to bring down on thee, mayhap thou wouldst have kept silent. But thou did not, and now thou shalt pay the price, ye Godforsaken dogsbody. I shalt shit fury down from the Heavens ‘pon thou, and thou shalt drown in it. Confess, and prepare to meet thine maker, sirrah.
>>69139305
Pretty much this - these are done with knockdown rules, so half of it is just guys blundering into each other.
Still, Russia will win - their team are legit drunken tough as nails loons.
>>69136784
BUT WHERE ARE ALL THE MINORITIES
THIS IS BLATANT RACISM
Met some of the American team at Dragoncon last year - they have some ex NFL players who are huge. The brawls look intense.
Anyway, shouldnt this be in /asp/?
>>69137407
>armor was extremely expensive
Depends on what type of armor it was. fully fitted, personalized plate armor sure.
Non fitted armor, helmets, basic chain mail, not really.
>we will never have these threads on /sp/ again
>>69139630
>Anyway, shouldnt this be in /asp/?
They should be on /sp/. But reddit mods killed the board.
SERBIA STRONK
Do they ever spill blood?
>no peasant waifu to soothe your ills after a hard day in the fields
>>69139742
Broken bones and concussions, but thats about it.
do they do any half-swording?
That armour looks like it might cost a lot.
>>69139504
> hound helmet
[/spoiler] FUCKING CONFIRMED [/spoiler]
>>69139700
All they did was kill off things like the hurricaneb/owl/ threads.
DEX > STR
>>69139974
>all they did was kill the fun
True
>MEXICO IS INCLUDED
Fuck, there aren't enough countries represented.
I vote for Hungary I guess or Poland
>>69136784
Ladies in full plate are the best kind of ladies.
>>69140235
Kek
>>69139342
Obvious Argentinian Knight
>>69139974
And car chase threads, deep sea threads, eventbowls, spelling bee threads, the list could go on.
Yeah, I'm glad the board got saved and reduced to the slow as fuck state it is in now. Bravo, mods and reddit.
>>69139832
>half-meming
>a good strategy
UKRAINE GONE BERSERK
I don't really get bucklers
Like, couldn't you just go around
>>69140419
The problem was that at some point, someone decided 4chan should take itself seriously. I assume we can blame Moot.
>>69140490
I assume you can move your buckler quicker than the person attacking can redirect their sword. Big shields look like more fun though, saw a fight once where one guy got a great shot on his opponents head with the edge of one of the bigger shields.
POLAND STRONK
fuck
>>69139295
Still better than your chinese cartoons, faget
>>69140692
kek who's that
They should host this at a time when countries that actually matter can watch and not have to read about it on a Cambodian Janitorial Journal during work.
TODAY I WILL REMIND THEM
>>69140692
seems actually pretty strong
>>69140737
They should make a spinoff called Krazy Krusaders where Christian Yuros/Whites fight Muzzie Arabs/Malays
>>69136784
>Australia VS. Argentina
Wtf I thought this was about europeans?
>>69140842
But Aussies and Argies are white, close enough :^)
>>69140692
which country is that
>>69140893
USA MOTHERFUCKER
WE BURGER KNIGHT NOW
Is there going to be a torrent somewhere after? I can't watch this now
>>69140916
leeeel why is Burgerknight one of the Immortals from 300
>>69140842
Its anywhere that wants to join - started off as a mostly Eastern euro thing plus Russia
competition of qts
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RvaEB-Jmb4I
When are the big fights? I want to see one of these 21 v 21 brawls
>>69141123
Tomorrow is the big battle
>>69141180
lol that picutre
>*teleports behind you*
>heh, sorry heathen >:^)
I wonder if these guys are frustrated they weren't born a few centuries earlier where they could've done the exact same thing but had women gold glory and estates heaped upon them
How can such an awesome concept result in such a dull sport? Is it general incompetence, lack of definable rules or the fact its a bunch of overgrown children who think they are knights? European martila arts are such a fucking joke.
>>69136964
Wait what
What does USA medieval armor look like
>>69136784
>hurrr lets use swords as bludgeoning weapons and hit each other on the armor over and over
This has no relevance to historical martial arts.
>>69141354
This stuff isn't really HEMA
>>69141416
Nice shitpost sempai
>>69141512
My post is completely accurate.
>>69141535
Nice shitpost sempai
>>69141354
This is probably more what you're interested in
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5zueF4Mu2uM
>>69141512
He's right though
>>69141416
If these guys fought like in real life obviously there would be maiming and fatalities
>>69141366
Well in real life it looked like this
But I guess they couldn't wear it in the competition so they just use European armor
>>69139700
they're allowing the threads to be on /sp/ btw. doesn't matter now but for tomorrow
>>69141563
Nice shitpost sempai
>>69137018
my negro
>>69141563
>amerifat gets triggered because someone who has actually opened a history book calls them out on how retarded their 'we wuz kngithz' roleplaying dress up game is
>amerifat dressed as a persian immortal with scimitar
>gets BTFO by based potato knight
>tfw you and a thousand other people are watching autism being live streamed
>>69141707
>sad reaction
Why? It's super fun.
>>69141624
>It's an autistic kid doesn't comprehend a friendly competition episode
>>69141733
What am I doing with my life
The guys who participate, especially the Eastern Europeans, usually do have a background in HEMA but due to the nature of BotN's points system they don't normally get to show it off
Behold
BOLAND STRONK
>>69141742
It's all pointless anyway
>>69136784
>not turning the sword around and smashing the enemy with the hilt
Amateurs
>>69140121
This is my fetish
>>69141801
If they ever used any techniques that were effective then they would hurt each other, so they're stuck with just wailing on each others armor like a bunch of tards.
>>69140121
>>69141827
>ywn sniff their arming doublet after a long day in the field
;_;
>>69141881
>>69140121
When do the females fight?
>>69141742
you weren't here watching it this time last year?
Wow it's just like Game of Thrones in real life.
>that big ukrainian guy with his qt waifu in red
What do the americans even wear? They didn't have any medieval garb.
>>69141988
AMERIFAT IS GASSED
>>69142018
He looks like a Persian Immortal
>>69141988
Shitskin garb basically
>>69141338
Also likely dying horribly, violently and painfully.
>>69142020
He's getting blitzed hard
>>69141338
Even if they were born in that time, odds are they'd just be tilling the land, throwing rocks, and getting drunk.
Which is still a pretty sweet life when you think about it.
>>69142190
Don't forget dying of dysentery
MASKED BURGER HAS EVOLVED TO NO LONGER REQUIRE OXYGEN
>>69142295
He definitely needs a burger break though
why does he wear the mask?
>nothing personnal.........kid
>>69141988
There's plenty of medieval American armor but it's mostly made out of bone and wood, sometimes tin or copper
>>69140121
>tfw you will never know it's a female fighting unless she grunts or someone tells you
>>69142687
I'm pretty sure you'll notice someone 30cm shorter and considerably weaker
>>69142738
That's me
>>69139832
No, bypassing the armour would result in people actually getting injured. Thus it's not allowed.
>>69136784
>yurocucks
LMAO
When does Aus fight? You know, the only truly white first world country?
>>69142738
>men and women are always defined by a set of dimensions and there is absolutely no deviation
>>69136784
Why don't they get these guys to be the extras in GoT and get them to bring their armor, instead of cheaping out on the shitty costumes they use now
>>69142342
To hide the tears
>>69142926
Numale cuck detected
>>69142342
>burger king in chainmail
It all makes sense now
If this what europeans call war games since they can´t use guns?
>>69142970
or just a manletLike the rest of us
>>69138375
WE WUZ KNAGHT AND SHIEETAs a argentinian sound weird to me, but some friend go to renaissance fairs, but im descendant of ruskies i dont give a shit
Is it done for today? When do the events resume?
>>69143050
5vs5 starts tomorrow, that's usually what everybody watches
>>69143050
tomorrow
>>69143050
They're done for today, tomorrow is the 42 man battle
>>69143050
after the ritual servicing of the muslims
I'd side with the side with most waifus
Or whoever is killing either french, Danes or dutch. Hate those fags.
