What do you think of Woody Allen's new movie starring Kristen Stewart and Jesse Eisenberg? It's premiering at Cannes next week.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LsmwF3xUWHM
Stewart is a whore and Eisenberg shouldn't be getting work (how the fuck is he an actor in the first place?)
in other words, I hope it bombs
>>69086931
Stewart is good in select roles.
Eisenberg is good in the garbage.
>>69086901
I'll watch it, but I think it's just going to be Jesse Eisenberg and K Stewart playing themselves again, like in Adventureland.
>>69086955
either way, I'm not watching because of Eisenberg and Allen is just nothing but a brand household name now, a husk of his former self.
I never understand people like him who never retire, it's as if he has to repay outstanding debts or something.
>>69086901
How man dicks do you think she's sucked?
Has she let a man cum on her face before?
>>69086990
Does Jesse Eisenberg ever play a character that isn't himself?
>>69086901
He must have been really desperate for a blowjob.
>>69087131
He was a good Zuckerberg tbqh
she strikes me as the sort of girl that sucks the joy out of every place she goes
I really don't like Eisenberg. He always talks fast and as if he's out of breath. This only worked for The Social Network.
>>69087121
on her face?
she probably has lost her gag reflex at this point, could throat you to your ball sack when you cum
>>69086901
Kris10 is probably one of my favorite actresses.
Trailer looks good but i don't think it will be as good as clouds of sils maria though.
I also don't understand the Eisenberg hate. I mean he plays the same role practically every single time but it's not bad. He generally fits his character.
>>69087171
I wish she would suck the joy out of me
>>69087196
K-Kristen isn't like that.
She's in Equals too, K-fags.
>>69087349
Comments like >>69087196 make me really sad.
Why didn't she want to work with Will Smith?
Last good allen movie was Midnight in Paris.
Everything else was shit, mediocre, or just fell flat.
>>69087171
>she
Anon...
>>69087508
She doesn't like black folk according to /tv/ hollywood insiders.
>>69087421
why? are you saying you'd like her better if she didn't know how to please a man like that? are you gay?
>it's a scrawny weasel jew lands a 10/10 episode
>>69087530
Blue Jasmine was great you pleb.
I love woody but can't stand Kstew or Cera-lite. I think i'll skip this one.
>>69087580
It wasn't even original. It was literally a reintroduction of a streetcar named desire to a newer audience.
He's a fraud, the pleb here is you.
>>69087508
because it was gonna be a bad movie. and i think she wants to do more artsy and laid back shit.
>>69087556
I just don't like people being overly graphic and lewd for no reason.
>are you saying you'd like her better if she didn't know how to please a man like that?
I like her regardless.
>are you gay?
I'mgenderfluidjk im straight
>>69086901
Quips zingers and jews oy vey!!
>>69087662
>I just don't like people being overly graphic and lewd for no reason.
why?? do you really approve of the guy asking if her face has been cummed on, but not the guy saying she has no gag reflex? this chick is a straight up whore, who gives a shit if you like her regardless?
>>69087029
>implying Blue Jasmine and Midnight in Paris weren't great and comfy as fuck
He can make shitty movies every few years but he shouldn't retire, clearly.
>>69086901
what would you call that outfit?
the lack of images on this imageboard saddens me
>>69087844
30s slut chic
>>69086901
2quirky4me
Eisenberg really is a good Woody Allen self insert.
>you will never eat her asshole
>tfw no qt 1930's gf
>>69086901
>what do I think?
She's too old
don't like Eisenberg's way of talking, but he could pull off the stand in Woody Allen role. Still giving it a watch because it's an Allen movie. Midnight in Paris and Blue Jasmine were great, and while not very good, Irrational Man was comfy.
>>69087349
Really?
The chick who was getting eaten out in her Mini-Cooper in the middle of the day by a married older man isn't like that?
>>69086901
Well it's not out yet so it's kind of difficult to form an opinion about it, you know?
>>69087662
>genderfluid
had to google that one
>>69089305
It's not like Sanders is some ugly old Jew. The guy isn't bad looking.
>>69086901
What's the jewish precentage of this film?
Midnight in Paris is a such a strange sort of reverie... it ends better than Vicky Christina Barcelona does, and it's a more cohesive film, but it seems to be arguing that France is better for jettisoning its idealism.
Conversely all of Midnight in Paris is either some form of spiritual porn or material porn. Maybe that's what feels so authentic about it.
'Barcelona' branches out from spirituality to an obsessed physicality...
I expect that cafe society will be along these lines... from celebrity to hedonism. A short step!
>>69086901
>Steve Carrell
When will this meme die already.
>>69086901
Kristen bang Woody Aleen for this.
EWWWWWWWWWWWWW, she is such a whore.
Never watched a woody allen film and never will. He's a hack
Looks average, waiting for woody to die, all the good old time directors have passed or lost their talent, his times come.
>>69088568
How does Jesse Eisenboyg keep getting roles?
>>69086901
Looks decent. My husband's daughter likes them both a lot so I'll probably take her to see it over the summer.
>>69086901
I think you need to post more pics of KStew.
>>69086901
>Jesse Eisenberg
I expect it to be Woodie's best since Midnight In Paris. Both leads are good at playing themselves which is fine, so I don't get the bitching.
>>69086901
Does it involve jews, psycoanalysis, valium and neurotic people?
>>69092831
The nose knows.
It's not a fucking superhero movie so of course /tv/ won't see it.
>Le uncharismatic, non-handsome, non-rich jew has 10/10 shiksas throwing themselves at him
Woody Allen is delusional.
Oh look another movie people under 25 won't "get".
>>69086901
reminds me of hail caesar
Will watch for the waifus
>>69093967
You must be new
>>69086901
>It's a girl who looks like a boy episode
>>69086901
Nice hair plugs
>>69087530
you're saying that like he doesn't make a film a year
what is the point of putting her in a movie and not showing her feet?
>>69087170
No he wasn't. Zuckerberg is nothing like how Eisenberg portrayed him in the movie.
all those movies where kstew plays the girlfriend of some loner type guy have caused me to develop a crush on her tbqh
>>69086901
>Quirky jews in NY #293810928301
Kinda tired of his shtick really, Woody should try capeshit
>>69086901
i want to see her belly button
>>69094228
>10/10
>>69097276
>Kinda tired of his shtick really
the guy has made like 40 films and he's close to his dirt nap. people just kind of let him go at this point. he literally needs to keep the shtick going to get enough daily drive to live.
>>69092831
It's funny because Eisenberg fits into the same roles that Woody would have cast himself in years ago.
>>69094228
in real life they would've gone for alpha wasp men, the chads of their time: samuel, arthur, henry.
>watching Woody Allen films made after the end of the 20th century
Dude, no.
>>69089305
wew
JUST
>>69086901
it will be another vision into the neurotic perverted mind of the jew, and of course kristen will go along with it because she is a slut
>>69097680
just wacky styling, would rail in missionary with lots of kissing.
>>69094228
Thats because movies are fiction
>>69096735
>ywn have brunch and drink mimosas with KStew on a Sunday morning after getting absolutely wasted together on Saturday night
Why even live bros?
>>69086901
I don't know what to think of it, because it hasn't fucking premiered yet.
You cunt!
>>69086901
10/10 as long as Kstew's feet are on display at least once.
>>69097680
Her buck teeth are very qt
>>69097680
please be an old picture
>>69096735
>>69097680
I just wanna see fuck Chris Strokes or Danny Dong, is that weird?
>>69097680
she's transitioning
Woody allen i still alive?
>>69086901
>kstew dressed like a little girl
>jesse eisenberg
jewish pedo nepotist is at it again
>>69086901
>starring Kristen Stewart and Jesse Eisenberg
Fucking why? Now I have to wait another year to watch a new Woody Allen film.
>>69086901
Why hasn't she transitioned yet?
>>69099262
She's gay m8.
Funny how an actress so hated by plebs has become a festival favorite. She has two films at this year's Cannes.
>>69086901
>that Wes Anderson song in the trailer
Noice
>>69086901
>Jesse Eisenberg
Into le bin.
>>69099753
>le
Ban all users under 25
Can't wait desu
Eisenberg is a neurotic jew in real life so this should work out
>>69097542
Pleb
>>69099362
She sucked ass in the twilight series, and she whored herself out while she had a boyfriend to fuck the director of what would inevitably become a failed franchise anyways.
So she's either dumb or conniving, and the movies I've seen her in are shit while she's shit in them.
Don't really care.
>>69086901
might be good
Kristen "my movies are trash but my soles are cash" Stewart
Eisenberg and Stewart playing the same characters they always play.
>>69100232
her eyes say yes but her tattoos say no
>you'll never cum on her pale skin
What's Allen's best film and why is it this?
>>69087567
That's Woody Allen's life
this
>>69100232
so goddamn sexy, u just know she'd be the best lay of ur life, she probably has zero inhibitions.
>>69086901
I like K, but Woody's late movies have been boring and repetitive. The trailer was nonsense with HD.
>>69100415
No. He married his adoptive gook daughter. He's an old jew perv.
>>69097680
What's next? A gay flag's tattoo?
>>69086901
>2 annoying autistic cunts directed by Woody Allen...
>>69100560
When he was old and busted. Before that, he fucked Diane Keaton. Besides, it's obvious Allen fucked Scarlett Johansson
>>69086901
At least based Storaro will be shooting this.
Haven't seen the trailer but let me guess...
There's a young Woody self-insert going after an out-of-his-league chick. Also even tough he's a self insert the actual Woody is in there somehow.
How accurate was it?
>>69100232
christ, I didn't know that she was a whore
>>69096647
>films must be exactly like reality or they are bad XD
>>69101001
>biopics don't need to portray the person they're based on accurately
>>69101085
Dude if you think biopics portray anything in a realistic fashion you're either stupid or deluded.
>>69086901
Kstew seems to be taking herself seriously as an artist and is taking respectable roles to distance herself from the twilight shit.
>>69086901
Trash
>>69101872
Stick to superhero movies. They're more your speed.
Woody Allen literally did nothing wrong.
>>69103961
no good movies either
>>69087810
I honestly thought Blue Jasmine was the best movie released in 2013.>tfw no Cate Blanchett milf gf
>>69089305
Are we ignoring the fact that's obviously the winter soldier getting blown?
>>69086901
Why in the ever loving fuck do people keep casting Jesse Eisenberg? Especially in roles he's completely unsuited for.
>>69100772
Perfect
Except Kristen Stewart plays the chick out of his league (but everyone acts like she's some stunning model)
And Woody Allen didn't show up in the trailer
>>69086901
Damn. Eisenberg's posture is going downhill fast.
>>69103954
literal perfection lmao
>>69108765
Explain.
