>Give me 72 hours
>You've got 36
>>68931880
>5 minutes left on the bomb
>hero proceeds to have an 8 minute fight
>defuses the bomb with 10 seconds left.
>>68931880
>and to show you we're serious, you have 12 hours
Thought of /tv/ exactly when I heard this
>be james bond
>disarm bomb with 0:07 left
>0:07
>007
jesus christ marie
>>68931989
fucking hate this tripe
>You have 24 hours
>Wow, that's way more than I needed! Thanks!
>give me 72 hours
>you've got 5 seconds
>supernatural happenings occur
>absolutely no one believes MC or gives him a chance, not even jokingly or just to see where it goes
>>68932044
one time
IN ONE FILM
EVER
after he fought a midget with a razor hat after an all girl pilot team knocked out everyone IN THE BASEMENT OF FORT KNOX
yeah should have been 0:01 seconds.
i knows.
>character dies
>turns into an emotional dracula animated frog
>characters orders a pizza
>it's just cheese
>bomb
>red green and blue wires visible
ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
>i can have it done in 8 hours
>you have 4 scotty
>scotty: always double the time it takes
>kirk: scotty always double the time it takes
>>68932142
cut red.
>protagonist characters are joined by antagonist characters
>"We've got company..."
>>68932138
>pizza gets delivered
>they pull it out of the box and take one bite
>another character proceeds with banter
>we never see the pizza again
ahh I'm parched!
>drinks a sip from an empty cup
>WE'RE NOT SO DIFFERENT, YOU AND I
>IF YOU KILL ME YOU'RE NO DIFFERENT THAN I AM
>>68932904
>*kills you*
>"Well, what's it gonna be X? Catch me? Or save these innocent civilians?
>"Both."
>character orders a beer in a bar
>brandless nameless beer is served
>guy leaves in a hurry
>tosses a bill turned into a ball on the counter
>"keep the change"
>do you expect me to walk, Goldfinger?
>no Mr. Bond, I expect you to fly!
>>68933002
>Slowly pays the exact amount required entirely in spare change
>"Keep the change"
>>68931880
>Come on! Let's go
>Give me a minute!
>You'll have 30 seconds
>just doing my job, Luke
>it don't make it right, Boss
>>68931880
>"but what does it do?"
>"that's the beauty of it! It doesn't actually DO anything!"
>>68932093
This fucking bothers me to be aich fammy
>>68931880
>Give me an hour
>You've got 60 minutes.
>characters eat at a fast food restaurant
>its a real small chain restaurant and advertises it as much as possible
>>68931880
This literally happened in Civil War
>it's quiet
>TOO quiet
>It's the ship that made the Kessel Run in less than twelve parsecs
>You've got 6 parsecs
>>68931989
This is the worst one.
>Give me an army
>You've got 20 good men
>disarm the bomb!
>Ok, I need 3 billion years
>You got -58 years
>We have been dead for half a decade. The war is over, Jim.
>Credits to It Aint Me
>You need to hack the mainframe
>Give me 15 minutes
>You've got 5
>We need to hack the mainframe!
>Easy. I only need 2 hours..
>You've got like 3 weeks so..
>>68931880
>Get me a vanilla coke
>you got crystal Pepsi
>>68932089
Name 5 kinos, 3 cinemas, 4 films, and 2 flicks this happens
>Give me 36 hours
>You've got 72
>This is AntiHack-Net Security System, we'd need at least a month before we can crack it.
>I'm in
>>68933188
my fucking sides
>"I need 4 hours"
>"You have 2"
>*lol I actually don't need 4 hours, I asked more time to have space for negotiation*
>shit happens
>"You just lost 30 minutes for that"
>>68931989
>defuses the bomb with 10 seconds left.
You spelled 1 wrong.
>>68933565
the seventh seal
empire
nymphomaniac
Brazil
to see the full list you must buy my book at www.blacked.com
>>68933642
Thanks for this quality post. Printed it out and stapled it to my dick to gain your powers.
>you said I had 24 hours
>I lied
>>68933247
>Shhh! You hear that?
>I don't hear anything
>EXACTLY!
>give me 24 hours
>who the hell are you?
>www.youtube.com/watch?v=RUjPz7BKjlM
>bad guy hands good guy a gun
>good guy tries to shoot bad guy
>*click*
>>68931880
>It's loud...
>A little TOO loud...
>Hero kills dozens of random mooks to get to the big bad
>Hero doesn't kill the big bad because Hero is "better than you"
This was the one thing that really bothered me in the Deadpool movie - Wade and Colossus had killed plenty of people before then, why the fuck would they do that and then let their primary target live?
I mean, Wade kills him anyway, but why the fuck didn't he point out how stupid Colossus was being?
>get buttraped
>"is that all you got"
>I didn't kill my wife
>I DON'T CARE
>we could do this the hard way or harder way
>>68933757
>WHAT?
>it's a post apocalyptic movie
>not all women are rape slaves
>you have a week
>dumb character intervenes, "two weeks"
>1 week
>"5 days"
>Deal
>they will NEVER make it
>*genius black man appears"
>HOL UP
>what if we did this super simple thing nobody thought of
>holy shit they WILL make it
>*genius black man disappears*
>party scene
>fight breaks out
>music suddenly stops
>>68931989
>Star Wars
>"We only have 10 minutes left to disable the weapon!"
>They are kilometres from the building, dawdle when they get inside, and still make it in time
>Consider this my resignation
>Shoots evil boss
>Main character makes a thread on /tv/
>It ain't meme starts playing
>western movie
>protagonist walks into bar
>everyone stops and stares
>>68933738
>Bad guy tries to shoot protagonist
>*click*
>"Ha, I took your bullets!
>Doesn't even notice the weight of 17 rounds missing from HIS OWN GUN
>Scientist gives a simple explanation of what is going to happen
>"In english please"
>dead good guy is not actually dead
>he was wearing a vest the whole time
>>68934342
>Genius computer hacker/president/communications officer/crack pilot/greatest sorcerer is always black
>Almost never is in real life
>character gets shot
>collapses as if they've died, doesn't move
>protagonist kills antagonist
>rushes to character's side
>some object that was important in a previous scene stopped the bullet
>>68934504
This genuinely made me lol
>>68934567
>Character gets shot point blank with a S&W 500 or a fucking rifle
>"It's okay, he was wearing a vest!"
>>68934567
>cold good guy is not actually cold
>he was wearing a sweater vest the whole time
>>68934531
>The explanation isn't even completely accurate or even good and is obviously ripped off of wikipedia
>This is still too "smart" for American audiences and it needs retarded down
>Every server has a vulnerable backdoor with amazing GUI
>Give me 3 weeks
>You have 2 days
>I'll do it in 10 hours
>does it in 45 minutes
>>68934710
Its important not to make your audience feel stupid
>hacker is beginning to hack something
>LOADING HACK
>Villain introduced- badass that kicks everyone's ass.
>Villain joins forces with the heroes - turns into beta male bitch.
>villain's second in command fucks up
>villain pulls out gun and shoots grunt
>>68934758
Then why do they keep making me feel stupid for watching their shit instead of taking my own life? I mean fucking seriously, none of this shit is above about a middle school level of education. Do all kike directors simply have no high school education background or what?
>>68934861
They didnt go to high school, they went to movies
>>68934787
Badass decay a fucking shit.
>Villains always use common sense so they can keep creating artificial as fuck conflicts
>Heroes are retarded shits who can't figure out basic shit in order to keep the "drama" going
>>68934702
damn......
>>68934567
>fatal shot hits good guy in the chest
>is dead, people cry
>wait, what
>"he he, good thing I always carry this THING with me"
>*shows THING that he wears as a pendant/in his shirt pocket with the bullet stuck in it*
> this system is behind fifty different firewalls, the password changes every 5 seconds and it self destructs if you fail to breach it!
> can you breach it?
> only five people in the world can
> we're screwed!
> no... I invented it
>>68934925
oh my god, I fucking swear I watched a movie with THIS exact line delivery.
>>68934925
HE DESIGNED IT
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH
>>68934925
>only x people in the world can
I always wonder how they get to X
>>68934987
Start at A
>Alright, what is plan B?
>That WAS plan B!
>sad emotional scene
>slow piano variation of main theme starts playing
>bad guys get shot in the lower abdomen with a handgun
>die instantly
>good guy gets shot point blank with a shotgun
>'tis but a scratch
>>68935040
>sad emotional scene
>it ain't me starts playing
>>68934955
Skyfall is the first one that comes to mind.
>This is the most advanced security system on the planet
>How do you know this plan will work then?
>I designed it.
>And how the hell do you expect us to climb that mountain?
>.....
>.....
>....I designed it...
>In space
>Explosion outside ship
>See fire
>Hear explosion
>this is over
>it hasn't even begun
>>68935414
Name one fucking movie where this never happens.
>character has a birthday
>it gets snatched
>>68933002
>shitty ads are better
>gimme that corona
>mhmmgmgmmm corona
Dude, can we continue with the plot?
>mmmhmmm corona
>>68935568
>pours corona over his bald head
>mmmmhmmm corona boiiiiii
>opens fridge and its filled with corona
>as long as its a corona boiiiii
>>68935464
>end of part 1
>>68932044
It's worse when they disarm it at 0:01
>>68933188
well done
>i can do this all day
>just kill me
>but you're already dead
>>68933002
>YOU CAN HAVE ANY BEER YOU WANT AS LONG AS ITS THIS MEXICAN PISS WATER
>gun shoots from afar
>sound reaches us instantly
>huge explosion in the distance
>sound of it is immediate
>gun shoots in confined space
>not loud, everyone continues talking normally after
It's sad that an animated show like Archer can do the last thing right, even if it's for comedic effect (everyone getting tinnitus).
>give me 26 minutes
>you've got 7 minutes and 32 seconds
>woman fights man twice her size
>is able to fend him off without much effort or technique
See also:
>tiny spaghetti armed woman punches air next to burly bad guy
>he falls over for some reason
>Shoot car
>It explodes
>we're not so different you and I
>yes we are
>how so?
>you're dead (shoots bullets from gun)
>character picks up cellphone
>"Hey...it's me"
>character is a fat middle aged dude
>he attempts to snatch someone's birthday
>>68936010
>shoot explodes
>it cars
>character is a 18 yo white guy
>played by 40 yo black woman
itt: newfags
>>68936038
I'd unironically enjoy that if it was in a cheesy Arnie movie.
>>68936094
Now this is my kind of surreal shitposting
>main character is walking down the street
>a man with an anvil comes over to him
>"hello, would you like this anvil!"
>"i have too many anvils as it is!"
>"when will i be rid of this anvil!"
every. fucking. time
>movie is rated R
>nude female character is seen from the back or shoulders up.
>didn't you kek when he got cucked?
>what the fuck are you talking about?
>>68934861
>Do all kike directors simply have no high school education background or what?
Yes anon, the jews are known for being uneducated.
>>68937233
They fucking must be if their "complicated" science speak is half lifted from wikipedia, half inaccurate. Don't buy jewish intelligence and education memes. Israel's IQ is below 100 and nowhere on Earth has a higher concentration of ashkenazi jews. Jews are actually pretty retarded.
>>68937310
You've proven with all of your posts that you're a standard /pol/ shitposter with a 50-70 IQ. Stop talking about intelligence. You don't even understand basic logic or reasoning.
>"can he do that?"
>"I just went ahead and did that."
>character is taking bubble-bath
>'Splish splash, I was takin' a bath' starts playing
>>68931989
>cuts red wire
>countdown starts to go at double rate
>>68932291
>character orders a pizza
>only eats about half of it
>throws the rest away
>>68937384
Excellent rebuttal. I guess that's why the "science" in kike movies is always both accurate and operating at such a high level. Get the fuck out of here, Jew Jew Abrahams. Go fuck up another movie.
>muh fanny froggu pictures
>>68931880
>character is celebrating and cheering
>triumphant music
>runs out into the street
>suddenly gets hit by car
>>68935537
Motherfucker
>>68937384
Triggered dumb kike.
