Why is Seagalposting so comfy?
>Why is Seagalposting so comfy?
Because now
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-VM9gMR4z5I
Absolute madman
These threads were better when they were once in a blue moon like Brando threads.
Being posted every day makes them lame as fuck. Probably redditor crossposters doing it too
>>68923583
because its a fresh meme. Give it a few weeks and it will feel like a chore like baneposting
>>68923662
i bet someone already made /r/motherfuckerbirthdays already
>>68923693
>>68923662
Wow look at these negative fucking nancies
Let Steven into your hearts
>>68923693
Steven is never a chore
SEGAL MARATHON WHEN?
>>68923583
I don't understand this hot new meme because I haven't seen any new Segalkino. What's his new movie? Should I see it? Something about a fat operator!!?!?!
>>68924179
Never a chore
Never a bore
Immature literature litters the floor
I figured you for a bigot before
But don't be bitter and sore
Just spit and record meticulous thought
>>68924251
Watch Fire Down Below. Truly the most comfy of Seagalkino.
Do you think sensei would be willing to dye his luxurious hair silver to accept the role of Batou in ghost in the shell? It's the role he was born for, he even has the little shrunken raisin eyes needed.
How many motherfucker birthdays have you snatched today, anon?
>>68923583
I'm going to watch all my Seagal flicks, what kind of wine should i drink during the marathon?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4E1NFckaDqU
>>68925354
Wow I can't believe Steven didn't aikido the fuck out of that bitch for copying his hair style.
>dey tooker!
what did he mean by this?
The good ol' days
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-1NBbe__hXw
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tQU_Tdo23eE
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_9XxT-w4kWk
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WrpPbnMGvn8
Oh, you think the poonani is your ally. You merely adopted the poonani. I was born in it, molded by it. I didn’t snatch every motherfucker birthday until I was already a man; by then, it was nothing to me but jammin'!
>>68924219
some time next week supposedly
>>68923583
>>68923831
Kek, looks like pubic hair glued to his face
has there ever been a geater katana master?
>>68928169
but that's a wakizashi right
Seagal was a meme like 15 years ago when irc was still a thing and people used it to communicate with each other.
I don't understand why /tv/ is trying to make him a meme again?
>>68928209
it's actually katana but it looks like the smaller wakizashi because Seagal is a big guy
>>68928243
oh that makes sense
Because Seagal is the great Seagal of All Times
is Seagal the most badass cop in the world?
>>68930016
>is Seagal the most badass
Yes.
>>68930183
People in Arizona must feel blessed to have a deputy like Seagal to protect them.
gimme 3 segal flicks to watch with my brah brahs
>>68930589
American Sniper: Special Ops
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gyEr8Q2PKf4
God Man
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rHY8o7eS9zw
Out of Reach
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NmX4XsdID5I
>>68923693
>>68930589
A Good Man
Kill Switch
Pistol Whipped
>>68930589
Under Siege
Fire Down Below
Above the Law
>>68930589
Haven't watched it myself, but I heard a lot of good things about the Birthday trilogy.
>Force of Execution
>A Good Man
>Absolution
>>68930589
Under Siege
Hard to Kill
Above the Law
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mXx3_ykUpfY
I love madtv's steven segal
ME
>>68932846
>Sasso-Seagal goes on rampages and kills people left and right
>real Seagal gets choked out and shits his pants
>mfw the parody is more badass than the real thing
>>68923698
what? just for understanding that you should be shipped off to reddit
any /bobbylupo/ in?
>>68923657
>Devogoddess1 year ago
>Go seeeeeeeeeeegaaaaaaaaaaaaal!
>that terrible feel because Friends got the wrong machisimo
>>68930016
He loves that operatorcore stance with the handguns.
>>68933091
It hides his gut
Why was he sorry to hear that?
>>68933212
Because they took her.
Watched Exit Wounds last night. Such a funny cluster fuck of a movie. Too many characters, crazy as balls plot twists - its mental. One of the last films he made with a big budget, decent distribution, cast and all the rest.
What makes seagalposting popular? Why not U N O?
>>68930649
>thought videos were just trailers
>they're literally the entire fucking movie uploaded to youtube
>probably won't even be taken down
Is there anything he can't do?
>>68933542
Be asian
>>68925262
Official cast photo hot off the set
Could he have played Neo, senpai?
I saw Kill Switch last night. Holy fuck, why isn't that movie better-known? Every single decision the filmmakers made is so baffling that it's almost a horror movie. It's like a bad trip. Absolute fucking kino.
>>68933427
>yeah we're excited to be exploring this bold new avenue of marketing our films, straight to DVD was too ten years ago so now we're going straight to youtube, although we're getting less than ten percent of the views of some teenager swearing over super mario we think it's the best way to really get the message out there
>>68927311
Is it just me, or did early Segal always go up against top tier villains
>rogue CIA agent Strannix
>crackhead mafioso Richie
>the mercenary leader in Under Siege 2, Big Ed from Twin Peaks
>tyrannical Michael Caine and mercenaries led by Dr. Cox
>>68933849
>Well, I'm sorry to hear that. 'Cause now...
>I will every electronic brain pancake crystal elderly
>>68933904
Not just Neo, he's been cheated out of other roles as well
> I would say the same thing, just to be polite. Let me tell you something that might be a bit dangerous. I was raised in Japan. I was schooled in martial arts. I was given the title of master. They take a movie “The Last Samurai.” They have a 5-foot-2-inch little guy, whether he was straight or gay, I don’t know. I don’t care. He had never been to Japan. He doesn’t speak Japanese. He has never held a sword. They make him the Last Samurai. We got 450,000 phone calls [laughs] from everybody in the world saying, “That role was perfect for you. How did that happen?” Most of the people I know didn’t like the film and didn’t go see it. It’s just a classic example of Hollywood and the politics.
>>68928169
>That guy has a sword, I have a gun... I know, I'll just hit him with my gun.
>>68928169
He always does that thing where he waves his hand around between moves, is this the secret of his power?
I'm putting out an EP soon and I was thinking this would be a good cover. Do you agree?
>>68934305
If you cover I want the punani
>>68934000
Don't forget Screwface, mon!
Anybody have some rare Seagal's?
this general needs a guide with list of best movies
whats the one with the fight in the bar with russians and hes mumbling
>>68923657
I wonder if he tried to kill her because if she had bowed back they would've cut her head off, because muslims only bow to god.
>>68932957
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4Zu1YIukylw
>>68930649
>out of reach dialog
>"it seems like the predator has become the prey"
>"yet it remains to be seen, who's the predator and who is the prey"
This blew my mind.
>>68933849
>Cause I will fist on the soul of every motherfucker, Burt Dey
>>68935708
BABILUPO!
>>68935708
This is unironically great.
His best line, hands down.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TbM4nkPwmfM
Some poonani in life can be bad
It can make you really mad
Other times it is so smelly it makes you swear and curse
When you're fucking that pussy,
Don't throw a hissy fit Steven
And this'll help things turn out for the best
And...always look for the right ponaani in life
Always look for the oversized size in life
If life seems jolly rotten
There's something you've forgotten
And that's to not act insane and be a liar
When you're feeling an oversized dump
Don't be a silly chump
And...always look for the right poonani in life...
Always look on the oversized side of life...
For being in the FBI is quite absurd
And lying cannot be the final word
You must always face reality with a bow.
Forget about your sin - give the audience a grin
Enjoy it - it's your last chance to redeem yourself
And...always look for the right poonani in life...
Always look on the oversized side of life...
Your life's a piece of shit
When you realize you've made up all of it
Steven's life is a laugh and his movies are a joke, it's true
You'll see it's all a show
Keep 'em laughing as you go
Just remember that the last laugh is on you
And...always look for the right poonani in life...
Always look on the oversized side of life..
(come on Steve, cheer up!)
Always look for the right poonani in life
Always look for the right poonani in life
(Worse things happen in Eastern Europe, you know)
Always look for the right poonani in life
(You know, you come from nothing - you're going back to nothing.
What have you lost? Nothing!)
Always look for the right poonani in life
Steven's MasterKino
https://youtu.be/5GEIk70r42I
>>68936352
It's a shame he never did a movie with Schwarzenegger.
what brought on this seagalposting?
was it tom segura's bit on him?
or his ufc embarrassment?
either way I love it - his early movies have the best music
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ifYPJbptMAY
>>68934612
wat
>>68925335
>motherfucker birthdays
explain this pls
Man, so much wasted talent. He had like ten or fifteen years of good movies in him after On Deadly Grounds. All he had to do is shave is head, get a buzzcut or something, and work out. With a little HGH he could be still rocking.
Shame he never had the inclination to work with professionals and be guided.
>>68936517
frig off mr rogan
>>68936392
>>68936533
Rogan? What did he say?
ME WANT THE BUDDY
HE WANT THE PUNANI
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QZaWd0tkhc8
classic
I want to make a movie about an aspiring actor who gets cast in a Steven Seagal movie. Seagal would play himself and the movie would be about the protagonist dealing with Seagal's insanity
>>68936787
Are you Ricky Gervais?
Are we all going to ignore his role in Machete?
>>68936846
>machete
I think everyone decided to ignore that movie
>>68936390
>tumblr
Is Steven a problematic fave?
>>68937032
Machete was amazing, though.
>>68937032
The Grindhouse films are pure fun, buttmuch.
>>68937032
that flick was great kys
>>68923583
Because
>>68937179
>>68937216
>>68937248
>unironically liking anything with Danny Trejo
You guys have terrible taste.
>>68937303
>literally and unironically shitting on Danny Trejo
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7ZTD4jAoIro
>>68934010
kek'd
>>68933406
Raspipi is comfy
>>68937303
Danny was in HEAT.
Fuck off.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yxloUBCYuFM
Where were you when Buddhai Seagal put you on the path to enlightenment?
>>68937887
my childhood fap
>>68936390
>the spin at 1:50 and he still shooting
>>68936390
Looks like fired almost 15 rounds there, spectacular.
>>68923583
>>68937887
God those were amazing. She do any other films where she's nekked?
>>68928243
For you
>>68934010
>>68935708
Jesus Christ, he looks like an antagonist who's bulling poor people around.
A man who's already a meme now has the power of /tv/ memetics, what could possibly go wrong?
>>68923662
Well, I'm sorry to hear that.
>>68938279
Was that your hot dog?
And yeah, he has that persona in most of his movies. He doesn't really play heroes, he plays assholes who go out and kill people while being a dick about it.
>>68923657
someone needs to edit in people trying to kill him during that 'dance' sequence like star wars kid
>>68937887
who is this spunk skunk
>>68926023
i think he was married to that bitch
>>68923693
>Give it a few weeks
It won't last a few weeks. It you want a meme to live you have to spread it, and sadly most of the Seagal posting only happens in Seagal centered threads. No, like Pestposting, Seagal posting will be the new hotness for a few weeks, then it will die.
>>68936488
https://www.youtube.com/watch?list=RD4E1NFckaDqU&v=cfNW1ERej0A
>>68938913
>I will snatch every motherfucker, Burt Day
what did he mean by this?
Anybody seen Richie?!
https://youtu.be/4KlyHwnPqns
>>68923693
>like baneposting
>implying
>>68934042
>I was raised in Japan. I was schooled in martial arts.
Shit, is he being serious?
>>68939914
He's always serious. I doubt it's true though.
>>68939914
You can bet your ass he was being serious. But it's not true though.
>>68939587
>>68940156
Tell me about Richie, why did he do Bobby Lupo?
ANYBODY SEEN RICHIE?RICHIE!?!
Is he italian, russian, asian or something else?
>>68940775
He has Mongol, Russian, Italian and Irish blood running through his fucking veins.
>>68940775
He's italian, russian, serbian, asian, japanese, african-american, native american, and white.
>>68940775
Native american
>>68940775
He has the best traits of every race.
>>68941117
Kek, he is just a melting pot
>>68941151
He's Italian.
He just wishes he was Native Amerifat because he's a hippie douche.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=23y1cQ2waJ8
What's a fubobi? Is it food?
Would you fuck his Westerner daughters...
>>68941397
..or the Jap one?
>>68941397
Is that a gypsy ghost showing up in the picture?
>>68941397
are their foreheads that big to store the bullshit he's taught them?
>>68941428
>yfw you realize Steven Seagal is ur dad
>>68941397
I wonder if he'll teach them the hairline secret
>>68941397
>>68941428
I don't know why but I'm absolutely certain Steven Seagal is a terrible father.
Crossboard Seagal post comin' through.
>>68941397
>tfw ur kids look like retard dark souls characters
no wonder the guy has given up
>>68941764
and a terrible husband too
>>68941796
Well, his eldest son is actually a model. Look up Kentaro Seagal.
Is the Seagal Slide his best move?
https://youtu.be/fxT12vaGfA8?t=45s
Imagine him in capeshit
Whats your favorite Seagal story /tv/
Mine is the one from the set of The Glimmerman
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=5cUNU8GkMso
Steven had just become a God, and had a crisis of sprituality, and refused to kill anymore badguys in the movie, as he was now a god and thought it would set a bad example
>>68939647
when your belly is so fat you can use it as a table.
>>68942211
This killed me
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X1il9FT5eZ0
It's amazing that I've never heard anyone talk about Seagal positively. He's a massive asshole.
>>68942271
WELL...
>>68941649
Well I'm sorry to hear that
>>68942271
There's just no way Seagal shat himself twice.
>>68923662
This
but don't give a fuck really
don't care about anything anymore
>>68942353
same story he is talking about Gene.
No idea why the midget nigger is telling it though
>>68942398
Do you live for this shit? Do you love it?
>>68936616
That'd be phat
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gyEr8Q2PKf4
>>68942413
Because he's a unfunny hack, that steals other peoples material, this is tve 3rd time i have heard him repeat somone elses story, why dont this fuck get the Carlos Mencia treatment
>>68928169
>24 cuts in 24 seconds
>>68942211
You just posted my favorite, but the one about Steven Seagal: Lawman is a close second.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y434mL2B1Zg
>Get guns OFF THE STREET
>>68942644
Well fuck him he didn't even know Genes name and it is not like Gene told it to him like he did to Joe Rogan.
>>68942675
What's the matter? Can't handle a real film?
>BIRD, DEY
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fy_a7xLzL6w
Kek, the guy is probably one of the biggest fucking hacks out there.
>>68942872
He never was in a real fight on film. It was all choreographed demonstrations.
>>68930695
marathon it
I did last night
eight hours
Unadulterated kino
>>68942958
Of course, also Aikido was never meant to be used as martial arts or cause injury. It is a defensive technique that at the same time defends and protects the attacker from any further injury.
>>68942872
Yeah because at war people just uncontrollably run at you this is such bullshit
>>68943098
No it does not it only works if somebody runs at you like a retard not if they take their time and place their punches right
and don't even start with the moving your head away and hold onto their arm bullshit
>>68923583
Because you are not as threatened by him since he turned into a human tomato.
>>68943173
>No it does not it only works if somebody runs at you like a retard
the funny thing is any martial art will protect you from this
aikido is a meme martial art
>>68942675
can't handle some cuts?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=evd5aWcg0Hc
>>68923583
Why is Sagetposting socomfy
>>68939914
He probably believes it, he's a german irish jew though which is weird because those are the only ethnicities he hasn't pretended to be.
Fucking Russians shitting up /tv/ with their dumb generals.
>>68941197
He's not italian at all he just looks a bit like it.
>>68944739
Nobody knows what he is
Where's the birthday phrase from?
>>68944875
Under Siege 4
>>68927032
Did he give those nicknames to himself wtf
>>68945623
kek
>>68945375
DROPPED
