ITT: Seinfeld in [the current year]
>Jerry gets in trouble for not writing "happy birthday" on the Facebook wall of someone he just met
Kramer starts vaping
>gif not even from Seinfeld
>it's a George sets up a Tinder account with shopped photos, but ends up getting matched with his mother who also uploaded fake pics episode
>Jerry meets a nice man, fairly manly for this day an age. A growing beard that is trimmed neat and he is definitely the type to like football
>He seems to be overzealous about facebook and badgers Jerry until he can get him to friend him on the website
>Jerry has a hard stance when it comes to facebook birthday notifications; he doesn't bother with them. He feels it is too impersonal to write happy birthday on the website
>A cut away shot of the manly new friend in the light of his monitor scanning his page, getting more and more upset
>The next meeting the new friend is passive aggressively giving him short answers in an exchange between the two of them
>Elaine asks what that is all about, noticing the weirdness and how uncomfortable Jerry is acting
>Jerry sighs and explains that he never said happy birthday to the guy on facebook but he said it the next day when he saw him and learned that he was upset about not getting it on facebook
>Elaine questions Jerry about this and discovers his rule about saying Happy birthday
>Subplot with George and Kramer where they are trying to be converted by their new Muslim friend who they are trying to impress or something takes a few scenes
>The climax of the episode comes with the manly man acting rather childish and like a teenage girl, having a tantrum about not getting the happy birthday on facebook and Jerry, like a cuck, apologises and is forced to write something on the wall to get the guy to calm down
>At the end, the guy is in hospital because of some misfortune or he is dead or something, Jerry takes the opportunity to unfriend him and he looks smug and victorious
>The end
>George comes up with the idea of an iphone app that locates the closest bathroom, but somebody he knows steals the idea and makes millions
>seinfeld is called a racist for wearing a MAGA hat by accident
Krame goes to Bernie Sanders rally.
>>68636907
This would be better with George.
He doubles down and gets increasingly enraged throughout the episode.
>IT'S JUST A HAT, JERRY! IT'S JUST A HAT!
jery is now black
elaine is now asian
george is now indian
kramer is now latino
>>68636948
IT'S THE ONLY HAT THAT COMES IN MY SIZE JERRY
>Elaine goes full SJW again
>there's a new tenant in the building
>George gets in trouble because he refers to the new tenant as "he" when in fact he's a transgendered woman
>there's a protest outside Jerry's building
>George tries to diffuse the situation by pretending he was a woman that had an operation to turn into a man
>then his new girlfriends finds about it
>>68636983
>He tries to cover up the words on the hat to avoid any more trouble
>He has to cross through a Latino pride parade to get to work
>The cover on the hat starts to fall off and people start to notice the words
>He starts to panic and run
>IT'S JUST A HAT! IT'S JUST A HAT!
>>68637043
WHY DID YOU MISGENDER MY COWORKER GEORGE?!
HOW WAS I SUPPOSED TO KNOW SHE IDENTIFIED AS A WOMAN!
>>68636697
well it is seinfeld
>>68637080
it's a seinfeld
>Elaine tries to run for Vice President
>It's a Kramer's cooking is noticed by some hipsters and he gets a large online following and he appears on some morning show and cooks for the hosts and lots of solo slapstick comedy ensues episode
>Jerry finds out someone has been adding very personal details to his Wikipedia page
>George finds out he has a three star rating on uber and adamantly refuses to use the service again causing the crew great inconvenience.
>Elaine is banned from a trendy new restaurant after Jerry accidentally mentions to the manager that she gave it a bad review on Yelp
>jerry goes on a date
>turns out the woman isn't actually a woman, but a DFAB transgender femme-presenting genderqueer
>jerry calls her a woman
>all of tumblr is after him, he can't leave the apartment
>meanwhile, kenny rogers chicken becomes gluten free which upsets kramer
>>68637405
>>68637476
These would be 10/10 episodes
i can't tell if anything in this thread is real or ripped from that godawful modern seinfeld twitter account
seinfeld 2000 is the only good one
Wait wait wait... you said "she?"
>I said she...
You said she?
>I said she...
George, you *knew* Xi was Transgender
>It was an honest mistake!
>Newman kills Jerry for sleeping with his transgender cis friend
>>68637537
I came up with the MAGA hat thing myself
unless the twitter account has said it already
>>68636611
jry ge ipd
>>68637498
>kramer and george's dad team up to start a restaurant that only sells food with extra gluten added in
>Kramer starts a Let's Play Twitch / Youtube channel
>gets a decent following because of his catchphrases and wacky demeanor
>Newman asks him to stream together, but they end up fighting when Kramer accidentally pushes Newman into a lava pit in Minecraft
>in the last scene a SWAT team breaks into his house after a prank 911 call from a follower
[Dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dah]
>>68637796
>Kramer and George's dad start selling transfats or big gulps after they were banned
>Newman uses his UPS truck to bring the stuff in from Jersey
>Jerry and George are going through TSA security
>Jerry makes smart-ass comments about having to take his shoes off and security theater
>George tells Jerry to shut up and do what they say. George follows every order robotically and gets through security.
>Jerry's about to go through the scanner when an agent stops him and asks if he's wearing a belt. He begrudgingly takes it off.
>He steps into the scanner and the next TSA agent tells him to pull his pants up.
>"The other agent told me to take the belt off!"
>"Sir, I need to cooperate and pull your pants up."
>"I just don't want you thinking I'm someone who goes around wearing his pants so low!"
>TSA agent speaks into his radio that they have a situation.
>Jerry gets detained and both he and George miss their flight.
>>68637578
>Newman gets arrested for planning a beta uprising in NY
>footage of his apartment has piss bottles and anime figurines everywhere
>>68637796
>>68636611
>KKKramer gets curbstomped by a bunch of angry BLM supporters
>Kramer buys hoverboards in bulk and tries to make a profit by selling them on the street
>Meanwhile, George, Jerry, and Elaine discuss the new manspreading laws at the diner.
>George is against them, but after Elaine jumps on his case about it he blanks and can't come up with a counterargument.
>Elaine leaves, George starts dwelling on the conversation.
>Starts rehearsing arguments against manspreading in case it comes up in other conversations.
>Several scenes of George exasperating Jerry by trying out rhetoric on him
>A woman tells George to stop manspreading while riding on the subway.
>He makes a huge scene about how it's a ridiculous law and and launches into a bunch of the arguments he's been coming up with
>She turns out to be an undercover cop and arrests George for manspreading
>Kramer is testing out the hoverboards at his apartment when he gets a call to go bail out George
>Leaves the hoverboards he was testing on as he leaves, when he returns with George he opens the door and the pile of hoverboards are on fire
>Bassline, Credits
>>68638329
how about
>george injures his testicles somehow
>gets on subway
>manspreads because his balls hurt
>gets arrested for manspreading
>>68636611
>tfw Seinfeld will never return
>the old gang will never come back
>tfw Curb was the closest thing and now it's also gone
>all new sitcoms suck
gerge get iphone
jery get ipad
>Gentrification forces everyone to move to Brooklyn
>Jerry dates an arab girl named Isis and takes her to the 9/11 museum
>>68636611
>george pretends to be trans so he can use the womens room
Frank Costanza starts dating again. He meets a woman and things are going fine until...
(guest star: Caitlyn Jenner)
>>68636951
>tfw this is the most accurate one.
>>68640467
>tries his move and finds out Bruce's boob job was botched
>huge national scandal
>George gets outsted as Frank's sonb and women all over NY badger him for having a groping father
>surpisingly, his dating life gets a huge boost
>>68636876
This is actually perfect did you come up with that
>>68639227
>it took this long to reference the greatest account on twitter
>Kramer gets a job as an uber driver. Steals Jerry's car to use for his job. Jerry uses this to his advantage and gets chauffeured to the places he needs to go for free
>>68640408
jesus christ
>Elaine knows someone is farting in her yoga class and starts hanging out with a woman to find out what she eats to know if its her
>Jerry is afraid of using uber/lyft after an instance with a dirty car. Enjoys the filthiness of a cab
>George works for a company that does 3D printing and his fired for making Jetsons figures, which Jerry mocks him.
>Kramer and Brian Wilson are caught in a lie together
>Newman marries an asian woman and she never talks and everyone assumes she's mail order. Turns out she's a singer on Broadway and is often on vocal rest, jerry accidentally tells he "You have some gook on your face" instead of "gunk" She screams her head off at him and has to bow out of that evenings performance
>They get a Lyft home which smells exactly like the farts from elaines yoga class.
>>68640908
>Jerry uses this to his advantage and gets chauffeured to the places he needs to go for free
That sounds more like something that George would do.
>Jerry and co. Go to watch BvS
>Everyone hates it except for George who thinks it's a masterpiece
>His mental health deteriorates as he becomes increasingly paranoid, accusing his friends of having been bought by Disney
Basically just redo Kramer cancelling the mail but with his facebook account, guest star: Mark Zuckerberg.
a "george tries to impress his gf by being a literal cuck" episode might be funny tbqh
Kramer sells his car and puts a $1k down payment on a Tesla 3, only to realize that it'll actually be released in about four years.
Side plot, Elaine finds out about the make-your-own-peanut-butter machine at Whole Foods.
What age does the pension pay in the US? Theyre all 60+ now
I haven't even watched Seinfeld but I know enough about it though popular culture and dank /tv/ memes to find all of these hilarious.
>>68643494
Thanks bro be sure to up vote!
>>68637511
>it's a george samefags episode
>>68643166
>Jerry: A cuckold?
>George: A cuckold! She wants to make me a cuckold!
>Jerry: That's insane! You said no, right?
>George: (shrugs)
>Jerry: No. No! Really?
>George: (excitedly) What could I do? You know how long it's been since my last relationship? I'm not getting any younger, you know!
>Jerry: You have gotten noticeably balder.
>George: Watch it, buddy!
>Jerry: Sorry.. So.. what was it like? Did you have to watch?
>George: Well I tried to. It was... upsetting.
>Jerry: Was he.. You know.. Bigger.. Down there?
>George: You think I looked?
>Jerry: (gives George a look)
>George: (pauses, looks away) Yes he was.
>Jerry: Oh, Moses hold the roses.
>George: And that's not even the worst part.
>Jerry: What could be worse?
>George: I think I liked it.
Elaine: I just used that new Uber pool, saved myself $15 on the journey
Jerry: I don't trust those car sharing apps, you could end up riding with a complete psychopath
Elaine: Yeah the guy I was with was a nightmare
*George comes through the door*
George: ELAINE! Can you believe we just saved fifteen whole dollars on an Uber ride? We should share again some time!
*Jerry pulls same face as in the picture*
Jerry get ipad
>Jerry secretly unfollows his girlfriend on Facebook because she posts too many selfies
>Girlfriend gets upset when she finds out because he's ignorant about things going on in her life.
>"It's not like I unfriended you! I just unfollowed you! Two completely different things!"
>Elaine sends an ass shot to her dad who has the same name as her boyfriend
>>68636611
Kramer becomes an Uber Driver
>>68643911
>elaines facebook profile pic accidentally contains a nip slip
>Jerry doesnt vote and Elaine lashes out at him for not feeling the bern while Kramer tries to get him to vote for Trump
>it's a /tv/ knows nothing about what it's like in the current year in NYC and all of these scenarios are way off base because they don't relate
Here's a real scenario goyim
>Kramer and George's dad try to create a child's toy based off of the three wheeled scooters kids are driving on, except the model hasn't been tested for safety. Elaine meets a new guy with the last tickets to the previous World Series the Mets were just in. George and Jerry ask her to sweet talk the guy into giving them the tickets and Kramer finds out he has a niece so they try and sell him their product. He agrees and Elaine realizes she really likes him. Jerry brags to one of his dates that he knows a guy with tickets to the game. You know the rest, the product breaks and hurts the niece, he no longer gives them the tickets, lots of yelling, things end with Elaine and maybe some small twist like someone offers to buy the parent to their product.
I'm not even Jewish.
>>68644110
>I'm not even Jewish.
Or funny
>>68644166
Sorry your Rabbi gave you a lobotomy instead of a circumcision.dickhead
>>68637045
>George gets in trouble because he refers to the new tenant as "he" when in fact he's a transgendered woman
>when in fact he's a transgendered woman
>he's a transgendered woman
nice
>>68644277
im not jewish, your diatribe was shit
George takes an insult directed towards him too personally on an online forum and decides to track OP down.
"You can't just call someone's opinion trash and get away with it Jerry, it's unamerican. I'll find you WizOfNoscopes99"
>George accidentally uses Grinder instead of Tinder
>George thinks he might actually like it
>>68638502
Been waiting to absorb mass quantities of Larry Sanders Show again in near future to get some of those creative vitamins my brain needs.
>>68640408
only one fun
>>68636611
Kramer dates a SJW
>Oh, Jerry, don't say that.
>Why not?
>Well, for starters, that's sexist.
>Sexist how, Kramer?
>Well I'm not going to MANSPLAIN it to you, Jerry!
>Mansplain it?
>Don't tell me you need to have mansplaining explained to you! That'll create a patriarchy paradox!
>That does it, I'm blocking The Huffington Post.
>>68637405
>Jerry finds out someone has been adding very personal details to his Wikipedia page
It would be Kramer.
>>68642678
>>George works for a company that does 3D printing and his fired for making Jetsons figures, which Jerry mocks him.
lel
>>68636876
I'm pretty impressed.
The subplot cracked me up as well.
>Georges coworkers wife pokes him on Facebook
>Kramer becomes a champion for transgender rights after accidentally running into the women's bathroom at a wingstop. Elaine is labeled a bigot in the process.
>George gets into a spat with an mma fighter over ways to be hygenic with cauliflower ear
>Jerry reluctantly asks Newman for help to get the delivery guy to stop leaving his packages outside his building
>Kramer, are you playing a video game?
>No, Jerry, I'm watching someone else play a video game.
>That doesn't sound like fun.
>Don't knock it until you've tried it! I've been watching this guy play Dark Souls 3 for the past fifteen hours.
>Fifteen hours? Shouldn't he have beaten the game by now?
>Ffffwoh. Jerry, don't say stuff like that, people will know you haven't played Dark Souls 3.
>Neither have you!
then Kramer gets the idea to livestream himself watching other people livestream video games.
>George gets into a month long argument about capeshit on 4chan with a 15 year old kid
>>68644788
>episode ends with George meeting his gfs little brother and figuring out its him when they have the same conversation in real life
>Jerry gets a new neighbor
>The new neighbor earns a lot of money
>like a whole lot
>especially for his age
>his company offers good benefits
>character goes to take a shit
>character takes a shit
>character goes to wipe ass
>character wipes ass
>character flushes ass wipes down toilet instead of just throwing them in the trashcan.
>George goes on a whole tirade about how Android is so much better than iPhone to Jerry
>Elaine can't decide which to get based on emojis
>Kramer likes Windows Phone
>>68644877
>"theyre TRIPFAGS Jerry!"
>"Are you feeling ok George?"
>"They use names when it's anonymous! They should just be anonymous!"
>"What do you care? Infact I don't care, I'm going. Unplug the computer, go and have a walk."
>"I would but the tripfags will think they've won!"
>if Seinfeld were in today, they would all browse tumblr and Twitter
You guys are faggots
>A successful young comedian moves in next door to Kramer
>Elaine starts flirting with him, says she likes the attention
>Elaine gets handcuffed to the bed and fucks the guy while Jerry watches on crying with his cock in his hand
>Seinfeld discovers that George has become a meme on the internet and asks George to sue the internet for damages
>>68644998
great contribution
>Elaine becomes increasingly angrier at the baristas in her local Starbucks for always writing her name wrong
>"WHO THE HELL IS CALLED ALLANIE? Those baristas have it out for me"
>>68638302
>Kramer joins the NAACP as a fake black guy and becomes their most effective leader
>>68644998
Maybe not tumblr, but definitely Twitter and Facebook.
>Seinfelds parents move to Germany
>"I've got a cuckshed Jerry!"
>>68640408
Kek, sounds like a Curb episode
>>68640418
>Elaine: What do you mean you use the women's BAYTHROOM?
>George [resigned]: I like it because it's cleaner
>Jerry: Well do you at least put the seat down?
>George: I sit.
>Elaine runs her tongue under her lips and juts her jaw it
>Jerry: See? He sits. What more can you ask for?
George: I don't wanna mess around with none of that new virtual reality stuff. I already live in one crappy reality, I don't wanna go screw up another one
>>68645240
kek
>>68645192
>E: And what happens if you get caught?
>G: I'll just say I'm transitioning.
>E: But you're bald, George, no one's going to buy it.
>G: Oh really? Remember the time you set me up with a bald chick?
>>68645158
IT'S THE SUMMER OF REFUGEES
>>68645192
>>68645118
>>68636611
george gets into cucking
kramer is the bull
>>68645584
>he's a cuck, jerry!
>a cuck?
>a cuck!
>i'm not a cuck! I'M NOT A KEK!
>admit it george! admit that you're a cuck!
>I ADMIT IT! I'M A KEK! CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!!!
>>68636650
Actually this is perfect for Kramer. Kramerica Industries starts making gross vape juices that people love for some reason.
>kramer starts selling medical marijuana
"you know medical marijuana isn't legal in new york, right kramer?"
"isn't it jerry? isn't it?"
"no, it's not"
"agree to disagree"
>>68637056
kek, good one
>>68644652
>"Why the Jetsons?"
>"I grew up with that show, George Jetson"
>"But you didnt print George, you have the little maid, now Bugs Bunny, that would have been cool"
>"but his name isn't George Bunny"
>"did ya print a George, I don't see a George, I just see a sad man clinging to a metal woman that services him"
>Kramer wins the lottery for $500,000,000
>George bought $40,000 worth of tickets
>Elaine starts sending nudes to Kramer
>Jerry dgaf and just wants Kramer to start paying for food
Maybe an episode that deals with NYC making it legal for homeless people to piss on the streets.
>>68645338
Fucking kek
>>68644877
His Gf's son would be better
>it's an Elaine wants to break up with a guy but can't because she feels bad about his family dying on 9/11 episode
Is the current day Seinfeld thread becoming a new daily thread? I see it all the time
Jery get ipad
>Kramer starts a vapers lounge in his apartment
>huge cloud of vape smoke in the hallway
>Newman bought cheap chinese lithium batteries for the vapes so they start exploding and injuring people killing the business
>Did you see that new Batman vs Superman film?
>Nah, I don't wanna.
>Why not?
>Batman and Superman, I don't know, aren't they supposed to be friends? I don't get it.
>You're right, Jerry. You don't get it. I saw it three times.
>Three times?
>Oh yeah, and that was just today. It's a masterpiece, Jerry. It changed my life. Did you know that Superman is a lot like Jesus? I didn't know until Zack Snyder opened my eyes. I was blind before, but now I see.
>it's the episode where they all pretend to support Hillary but vote Trump episode
>>68644110
Time wasted.
