ITT: Armond's upcoming review of Civil War
>Captain America: Civil War is an inauthentic venture into the already overly saturated Marvel universe. The Russo's attempt at playing upon shallow themes, witty quips and flashy imagery falls short of providing a meaningful and substantial addition to the comic book genre. An elementary attempt at countering the depth and themes provided in Batman v. Superman: Dawn of Justice simply creates a vacuous 140 minutes motion picture. Civil War's vapid attempt at combining humor and complexity simply provides the status quo for the masses of adorning fans, while leaving the rest of us asleep in the theater
>>68240957
I started reading this guy's reviews after BvS. Dude legitimately has personality issues.
>>68241030
>The men of Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice may not please eunuchy fanboys but anyone old enough to experience morning wood will appreciate it. Taking that comic book novelty where superheroes temporarily become rivals, Batman/Bruce Wayne (played by Ben Affleck) mistakenly blames the recent destruction of Metropolis and nearby Gotham City during an invasion of aliens on the mid-battle appearance of Superman (played by Henry Cavill). The antagonism between these specimen (Affleck follows Cavill’s already muscled-up example) is based on both men’s confused urge to do good. Each orphan’s personal torment and heroic ambition amounts to a passion. Grindr might match them, yet they’re initially mismatched which means that when they finally meet—and fight—it’s equivalent to a hate fuck.
>That’s because director Zack Snyder’s movies are adult comic books—“adult” as in the old label “For Mature Audiences Only.” He goes against the juvenile vicarious pleasure of comic book surrogate crime-fighters to something deeper. Snyder’s Batman with his five o’clock shadow, supersedes the morose hero of Christopher Nolan’s gloomy The Dark Knight trilogy, just as his Superman (also Clark Kent) junks the jovial Superman of the Christopher Reeve movies and Brandon Routh in Bryan Singer’s adolescent fantasy. Thanks to Cavill, Snyder’s Superman/Kent looks to be in perpetual tumescence.
>Snyder, who made the live-action antiquity layout 300, and produced 300: Rise of an Empire, can’t help but sexualize his superheroes. Yet it’s worth noting that this is part of his very grown-up interest in how characters act out their private drives. The personal is political for Snyder which means that although Bruce Wayne and Clark Kent clash, due to misreading each other’s citizenship, they share a testosterone bromance.
>>68241054
>They look good together because Affleck’s puffy-chin adult petulance (recalling his role as TV’s Superman George Reeves in Hollywoodland) may be the moodiest performance he’s ever given while Cavill’s virility (so chiseled it may well be from another world—the world of Sean Connery knock-offs) fits him to yin-yang completeness. Their confrontations disprove the delusion that men cannot make love face-to-face, the same way men fight. (Gay political pundit Andrew Sullivan makes a cameo appearance protesting “Every act is a political act!”)
>Ignore all that Internet nonsense against Affleck’s casting; he’s a warmer presence than Christian Bale’s stoic Batman who, at best, seemed a selfish lover. Check The Brothers Grimsby where Sacha Baron Cohen jokingly referred to the henchman played by Scott Adkins as “Ukrainian Ben Affleck;” it certified a hotness type. And smoldering Cavill wears the Superman uniform like a second skin. Costumer Michael Wilkinson’s brocade Superman suit is successful fetish gear—textured fabric with sequin octagonals invite you to touch that thin line between drag queen and stud. Male intimacy in this film gives new meaning to the old phrase “iron fist in a velvet glove.”
>If fanboys don’t cream to Batman’s dream sequence (“It took me to the lie, a beautiful lie” Wayne says), grown-up gay men surely will. In his dream, Batman wears a leathery mask, hiding his identity, while he is taunted by wasplike creatures and forced to acknowledge Superman’s equivalent virility. This goes beyond Guy Ritchie’s boy-boy teasing in last year’s The Man from U.N.C.L.E. (which co-starred Cavill). It is the most surreal dominance-submission dream in Hollywood history. But Batman v Superman is also a political allegory, using masculine sex appeal to examine America’s current political confusion. Zack Snyder’s comic book avatars are not for children.
>>68240957
>>68241054
>>68241121
https://youtu.be/7p5-14rjWUM
Why is it that Marvel's motion pictures can't generate this type of analysis? Seems all surface level, while Snyder's productions always seem to split the public and cause discussion.
>>68241054
bryan singer's superman movie is actually subtle with putting shit from singer's mind out there
>that superman suit
>>68241030
You cant handle the truth fakkit
>Quips
Is he one of us?
>>68240957
why dis nigga think he be denzeil washington
>>68240957
I really kind of like Armond even though I no longer believe he actually bases most of his reviews on anything but contrarianism (anticipating what the other critics will say and then going against it).
Contrarianism isn't such a bad thing when there's a critical hivemind, and it's fun to see people getting mad at him for going against the crowd.
The thing is though he was a really good film reviewer in the '80s and would say stuff about movies like DO THE RIGHT THING that no other reviewer, black or white, was saying. Eventually he got to be more of a troll but still fun.
>>68242111
What did he say about Do the Right Thing?
>>68242111
>
I think its more about even critically acclaimed films have problems
and movies that everyone bashes can have stuff in them that are worth a second look.
I guess its contrarian but I think there is a reasoning behind it.
BvS got slammed really hard but I think most people who watched it would say its not any worse than most other capeshit films (obviously not a high standard)
>>68241121
If fanboys don’t cream to Batman’s dream sequence (“It took me to the lie, a beautiful lie” Wayne says), grown-up gay men surely will. In his dream, Batman wears a leathery mask, hiding his identity, while he is taunted by wasplike creatures and forced to acknowledge Superman’s equivalent virility. This goes beyond Guy Ritchie’s boy-boy teasing in last year’s The Man from U.N.C.L.E. (which co-starred Cavill). It is the most surreal dominance-submission dream in Hollywood history. But Batman v Superman is also a political allegory, using masculine sex appeal to examine America’s current political confusion. Zack Snyder’s comic book avatars are not for children.
Classic Armond
Literally what.
>>68242711
this is precisely what i've been saying the past few weeks, not in defense of snyder, but simply to point out the hypocrisy of what this movie is faulted on.
