>>68233769
My falcon is allergic to paper, plus a pen will set off the scanners

>>68233769
>waterproof pen

You expecting a flood, Noah?

>>68233816
The showers you idiot

Do you faggots ever get out of the basement?

>>68233838
Do you go to auschwitz cinema?

>>68233838
also comes in handy for the 4d water spray effects and scent sprays

>>68233816
So how do you keep your pen from getting wet in the theater waterslide? I mean every theater has waterslides instead of stairs nowadays, don't they?

>>68233954
> he doesnt have ladders in his theater

I just hire cinema-guide that answers any my question about movie.

>>68234018
The ladders are there too of course, sadly you need a VIP ticket in order to use them.

>>68233769
>be me
>going to see Zootopia at the Alama drafthouse last night
>there's a special promotion 'bring any animal' for zootopia showings only
>my falcon injured his wing last week so I bring my vulture (Untermeyer)
>its a late showing, three other people in the theater, sit in the same row as the other 3 to make it less complicated for the waiter
>cinema shooter is drunk and sleeping in the handicapped seat in the back. One of the other 3 stole his magazine and now his assault rifle has nothing to read
>my waiter arrives dressed up as Batman
>order a grilled chicken wrap for my vulture and a pizza for myself. Also order a pear cider
>he throws a smoke grenade at my feet and makes a batline to the kitchen with my order
>first 30 minutes is fine, Zootopia is fun but notice the other patrons animals getting restless
>they bought a ferret, a bloodhound and a pelican
>the pelican keeps flapping its wings every 3 seconds and squaking
>raise an order card and complain about the waterfowl disturbing me and Untermeyer
[1/2]

>>68234411

>batwaiter throws a bat-a-rang at the other table down the row and informs that an anonymous person in the theater complained about their pelicans antics
>when my waiter leaves again the group is staring daggers at me
>got food, the ferret is running between my feet during the movie, and the dude with the pelican is throwing popcorn in its mouth
>raise another order complaint, the theater manager comes in (dressed as deadpool) and tells them their little butts are being bootyblasted out of the theater for noise
>the girl picks up her ferret and throws it at me, but misses and hits Untermeyer instead, who flies over and begins pecking and slashing at the group
>the dog starts barking and the pelican gets spooked and flies into the screen tearing it and shitting all over the place from the popcorn
>the two alama workers grab Untermeyers wings and hold him down. My vultrue responds by pissing all over the faggot girl with the ferret. The dog is howling at the pelican in the corner and wakes up the cinema shooter
>realizes his gun is jammed and starts hitting pelican owner in the back of the head. Round in the chamber goes off and shoots the overhead flying pelican
>say fuck this and throw down $22 plus tip, grab my vulture and run out the gender neutral exit in the corner of the theater
>halfway to home realize I never got my pear cider
>shoudln't have tipped

True story.
Otherwise I usually have a great time at the alamo.

>>68233816
>he doesn't reflect upon viewing the kino and write down his thoughts while in the showers

stick to the capeshit threads

>>68234498
I get my best ideas in the cinema showers and the waterproof pen is great tool to have.
Just don't drop your pen

>>68234411
>he throws a smoke grenade at my feet and makes a batline to the kitchen with my order

Ok I laughed a little