I-I don't get it! There are supposed to be quips in superhero movies! Where are the jokes?? This isn't funny!!
>>68097792
Here I am sitting here reading the latest variation on the "superhero meme thread"
You know what I wish? I wish I was a barbaric king lounging on a throne, swigging mead from a jewelled goblet, my thick beard matted with foam. My own 12 year-old daughter is sucking my cock, eyes downcast respectfully. The rest of my womenfolk are stitching me a cloak from the faces of my enemies.
>>68097959
Better plot than BvS anyways
>>68097792
You know what is funny though? 29%.
>>68097959
MUH DICK
>>68098223
Salty DC memes are my favorite. Pls post more.
>>68098223
Right, except an enormous part of Batman's character is that he doesn't kill.
Nah, let's just throw it out the window. Then when he has the upper hand on Superman and no reason not to kill him, let's have Superman tell Batman that their mothers have the same name! BRILLIANCE
>>68098351
there is no reason to continue this, the movie is a failure with critics and at the box office, just let the DCucks drown in their misery an ignore them.
>>68098420
>used "DCucks"
>says to ignore them
You're the one who keeps posting about the movie and them.
>>68097792
Marvel has made multiple hit movies over the past decade, many featuring Cena list heroes. So apparently they know what they are doing. DC meanwhile just released a movie featuring 2 of the biggest comic book characters ever, and the movie has been panned and is a financial disaster. Be made as much as you like, but Marvel has proven themselves.
>>68098351
>an enormous part of Batman's character is that he doesn't kill
When will this meme die?
That's only fundamentally important in the Nolan movies (even then he definitely causes some deaths).
I take it you've never read a Batman comic book. Motherfucker has killed plenty of people over the years.
>>68097792
>>muh Martha
>>DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING
>>Lex Luthor designs the Justice League logos
>>muh Apokolips foreshadowing
>>68097959
follow youre dreams
I'm no Marvelfag but damn
this DC jealousy is getting out of hand.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jWHHsdE_oQg
>tfw no batman like this
*tips fedora while stepping out of the shadows*
The pitiful peons at Marvel have underestimated the power of DC one time too many. The "Marvel Cinematic Universe". Huh. A shoddily shot, messily put together series of soulless and artless wastes of celluloid designed to appeal to the base intellects of moronic manchildren still dreaming of becoming powerful as they waste their lives away masturbating to images of Black Widow.
Only a fool and a weakling of mind could gain satisfaction from watching poorly animated CGI trade weightless and impactless punches while trading quips a severely mentally retarded Thai ladyboy would find beneath him/her.
DC understand cinéma. They understand kino. DC know how to build shade and light in a performance, how to engage the minds of true enlightened souls. DC have redefined not just superhero films, but the entire film industry itself.
Mentally challenged Marvel fanboys can only begin to grasp the tectonic shift in filmmaking that has been unleashed. Critics and reviewers fail to recognize a movie far ahead of its time once again, crying on their blogs about lack of snark and quipping - failing to recognize a literal masterpiece as it unfolds before them.
The public have responded. The entire filmmaking industry has been shaken to its core. DC have changed the game utterly - a new landscape is carved, a beauty is born, a God walks among men.
*teleports away*
>movies about children's comic books
>t-they have to deep and dark! They have to be an exploration of the human condition, get me auteur Zack Snyder!
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Batman killed 0 people in BvS
Wait for the retcon. The movie itself is retarded cuz no one acknowledges Bruce shooting folks with gatling guns or exploding cars but the news reports fukin branding really nigga, but I promise you it will go 1 step further. IN future movies with interaction with Joker or Red Hood or whatever, the no-kill code will be referenced, then there will be scores of people saying "Like wait a minute he killed in BvS!" then director or writer or producer or whoever will say "NO he didnt" then theyll say "Yes he did" then theyll say "No he didnt!" ya huh nuh uh ya huh nuh uh
There will be retcon. He did not kill anyone.
>>68100408
Post more of these pastas if they exist
>>68100572
There he is. There he goes again. Look, everyone! He posted it once again! Isn't he just the funniest guy around?! Oh my God.
I can almost see your pathetic overweight frame glowing in the dark, lit by your computer screen which is the only source of light in your room, giggling like a like girl as you once again type your little DCuck quip and fill in the captcha. Or maybe you don't even fill in the captcha. Maybe you're such a disgusting NEET that you actually paid for a 4chan pass, so you just choose the picture. Oh, and we all know the picture. The "epic" problematic Evans, isn't it? I imagine you little shit laughing so hard as you click it that you drop your Doritos on the floor, but it's ok, your mother will clean it up in the morning. Oh, that's right. Did I fail to mention? You live with your mother. You are a fat fucking fuckup, she's probably so sick of you already. So sick of having to do everything for you all goddamn day, every day, for a grown man who spends all his time on 4chan posting about how the first capekinography in history completely flew over your head. Just imagine this. She had you, and then she thought you were gonna be a scientist or an astronaut or something grand, and then you became a NEET. A pathetic Marveldrone NEET. She probably cries herself to sleep everyday thinking about how bad it is and how she wishes she could just disappear. She can't even try to talk with you because all you say is "DKEKS BTFO PRETENTIOUS TRASH." You've become a parody of your own self. And that's all you are. A sad little man laughing in the dark by himself as he prepares to indulge in the same old dance that he's done a million times now. And that's all you'll ever be.
Forever...
![1457263831100[1].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/LfjwhgH.jpg "1457263831100[1].jpg")
>>68100572
I stepped out of the theater after watching Batman v Superman Dawn of Justice™ and literally fell to my knees and thrust my arms into the air.
"SNYDER!!!!" I cried.
I cried so much for the first time in my life.
I went in to the movies jaded and cynical after reading all the /tv/ posts about how much Snyder was a hack, Man of Murder, Stop my invincible son and expected absolute trash from the movie. But I was wrong. So wrong.
I couldn't believe the masterpiece I had just witnessed. I felt like throughout the entire film Snyder himself was speaking to me, through Metropolis and Gotham, his love and dedication was there. He assured me that a new era of cape movies has arrived, a new era to save us from these lackluster regurgitated capeshit movies we are accustomed to.
During the battle with Doomsday, the people around me were so enthralled and were convulsing and speaking in tongues, their spit and tears flying everywere, some landing on me, but I didn't care. I was already in full spasm from the orgasmic capekinography I was seeing.
As the movie ended, everyone in the cinema cried. Like wailing and sorrowful crying. Nobody said a word but everyone in there had the same feeling. "Forgive us Snyder for we do not know what we have done"
In all seriousness this is a solid 12/10.
I'm still wiping my tears as I try to relive that moment, I'm afraid I will never experience this exhilarating joy and sadness ever again in my life.
Thank you Snyder... Thank you...
>>68098223
He didn't quip and grin
>>68100572
Snyder is aware that he's dealing with one of the most iconic characters in popular mythos, he respects Superman immensely. And accordingly he strives to elevate the medium in order for it to fill Superman's shoes.
Meanwhile, entitled manchildren fail to grasp his work emotionally and intellectually, and incessantly complain about petty shit because they arrogantly believe they have the last word on how these characters should and would act, not realizing Superman belongs to no one and everyone.
Don't worry, you fucking fat fucks. Snyder's so aware of this that BvS practically took a magnificent artistic shit on you fanboys and you didn't even notice. And he knew that you weren't going to notice. The whole film criticizes this way of thinking. Most of the complaints from fanboys were actually deliberate artistic choices fully aware of the consequences. For example Joker Lex, or the JL teaser spliced right in the climax, when after all everyone just paid to watch Batman and Superman fight (for all they care they could fastforward everything else).
Snyder provides an alternative to mindless entertainment, escapism, and power fantasies. He uses Superman as the vehicle to inspire a cynical generation.
People haven't noticed that their reaction to BvS was exactly how Snyder predicted they were going to react. He understands modern society and its decay so well, that he knew he was going to get crucified by glorified bloggers and "nerds".
Just face it, you're out of your league, and you've been exposed as lacking basic film and film analysis understanding, not to mention the emotional maturity of a brick.
>>68097959
hey /sp/eddit!
![1458685199857[1].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/dV6H0Ne.jpg "1458685199857[1].jpg")
>>68100572
>It's a political thriller
>It's a spy film
>It's a kaiju film
>it's a sci-fi film
>It's a horror film
>It's a coming-of-age story
>It's a character study
>It's a religious allegory
>It's a blockbuster
>It's a love story
>It's a Greek tragedy
>It's an épopée
>It's a pop-culture pastiche
>Its fearless scope captures the subtle and grandiose; a dilating pupil, a single pearl rolling off a hand, a nuclear explosion in the stratosphere
>It's a blissful dream and feverish nightmare
>It's a slice of life
Glorified bloggers and self-proclaimed online critic nerds expected capeshit.
If we seek your monument, we'll look around us.
The status quo has changed, and the road is long and winding. But with fraternity, selflessness, and compassion, we'll all carve it together, with our bare hands if it's necessary, out of the cathedrals of lie's granite built by cynics for their false prophets.
ZACK SNYDER DIED FOR OUR SINS
>>68100572only pasta that matters
![1458971420421[1].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/VVUTeRx.jpg "1458971420421[1].jpg")
>>68100572
To everyone in this thread praising this movie hold your head up high. You were one of the first to get it. Your kids will be in utter awe of you for seeing this movie first run:
>The year is 2066
>"Grandpa anon grandpa anon can we talk to you"
>Your hearing is not as good as it used to be, but you try your best.
>"Yeah. What is it little ones?"
>"Grandma anon says you took her to see Batman v Superman on your first date"
>You grin to yourself. "Yes, yes I did."
>"Grandpa, how does it feel to have witnessed the death of capeshit first hand and witness the birth of capekino? My teachers tell me this is one of the biggest moments in American history."
>"Well little ones, many were scared. Traditional reviewers didn't know what they had on their hands. They didn't understand it. So naturally, as humans do with the unknown they start to hate it, fear it."
>"Wow grandpa"
>"Many understood that we had something different but it was hard to express. Imagine tomorrow seeing a totally brand new color, never seen before and never existing on the visible spectrum. How would you explain what you see? How would you comprehend it? You could not. You would only realize you were seeing something new and beautiful. That's what Batman V Superman was for us kids. Something new and something beautiful. It jump started the entire capekino movement and destroyed all modern film criticism as we knew it. World peace was shortly established and no child went hungry anymore. We achieved a whole new level of evolution and we can all thank Zack Snyder for it."
>"Wow gramps, that's a crazy story."
>"Hehe kids, you'll understand it soon enough. Hey, who wants to take a trip to Disneyland on the holodeck?"
>"Yaaaaaaaaaaay"
>"Heh, let's go kids"
God bless you Zack Snyder.
>>68097792
Serious question: do you think someone who took his family out to see a movie titled Batman Versus Superman with the expectation that it would be a fun, simple action flick and instead got grimdark 2deep4u crap is justified in feeling cheated?
>>68100572
Snyder’s thrillingly intelligent use of interior conflict and political antagonism vastly outclasses Christopher Nolan’s Batman trilogy: Batman Begins, The Dark Knight, and The Dark Knight Rises — all noxious — which were bellwethers of our culture’s decline. Fanboys prefer the Nolan films for their “darkness,” which emphasized the sophomoric, pseudo-tragic elements of the Batman graphic novels. But Snyder’s more adult treatment finds the material’s emotional core. This displeases the fanboy/hipster whose adolescent embarrassment about feelings was exploited through Nolan’s emotionless violence and post–9/11 nihilism. Snyder counters that cultural crisis and visualizes the millennial moral struggle as pop myth. His essential subject is mankind’s struggle to discover compassion as well as common obligation — or dare I use the non-political term: brotherhood?
The pain of post–9/11 as reflected in Nolan’s Batman films was a paradigm shift. But fantasy cannot conscientiously be enjoyed Nolan’s way, without any sense of social, historical, or moral consequence. Snyder manipulates this new paradigm so that mankind’s sense of mortality is embodied by Batman, Superman, and their arch-nemesis, Lex Luthor. (All three characterization performances are, well, perfect.) Among today’s outstanding American filmmakers, Snyder has an eccentric interest in the spiritual expression of his characters’ conflicts. From the erotic antiquity saga 300 to the anthropomorphic fable Legend of the Guardians: The Owls of Ga’Hoole, Snyder demonstrates a caricaturist’s knack for elaborating Good vs. Evil. It takes just such dreamlike moral clarity to reprove the Nolan trilogy’s chaos.
>>68100572
>"Grandpa, can you tell us the story again?"
>"Yes my child what story would you like to hear?"
>my grandchildren and his friends gathered around me eager to hear the story
>"Tell us about when Batman v Superman was released, the Dawn of Capekino"
>"Ah yes, during those times Marvel and Disney dominated cape movies, they released superhero movies like there's no tomorrow, each one a copy of the other. People were getting tired, wanting for something new"
>"And then came a visionary, his name was Snyder and he took cape movies into a brand new direction. Cape movies with substance, cinematogrpahy, deep and insightful themese and symbolism, never before seen only taught possible into arthouse cinema."
>"Snyder combined the cape movies and kino, never taught to be possible before ushering a new wave of capekinos for generations to come"
>"That's amazing grandpa, what happened next?"
>"Snyder was hated. People back then didn't understand something so beautiful could be melded with comic book heroes. He was persecuted and humiliated and insulted by almost every forum and critic during that time"
>"That sounds awful grandpa"
>"Yes, yes it was. It was a terrible time to be a patrician of the arts but ultimately with much perseverance, Snyder won thus starting the era of capekino"
>a tear falls from my eyes as I finish the story
>"Grandpa, why are you crying?"
>"No, my child, it was just during those brief moments, I doubted Snyder. I-I took part in hating him...I wish I could have said sorry to him... "
>>68100572
proof that capekino exists
>>68100145
>Motherfucker has killed plenty of people over the years.
>over the years
>First two years and rare occasions (usually with foes who resurrect themselves multiple times) equals "over the years"
When will this meme die?
>>68097792
wrong image m8 - Marvel fags look like this
>>68100145
t. someone who hasn't actually read batman comics or at least the popular ones like dark knight returns for fucks sake where it's an actual plot point
>>68097792
>yfw Civil War is also really dark and serious with just some moments of jokes and it gets praised, 90% RT score
Can't wait for the assmad
>>68102791
It's confirmed to be standard Marvel humor and only the end gets somewhat dark.
>>68100572
Is this an official dc fanboy cringe thread now?
>>68102070
Kek, truly the dawn of justice
>>68102880
[citation needed]
>>68098351
>Right, except an enormous part of Batman's character is that he doesn't kill.
I always thought that the point was that he didn't use guns, because they reminded him of his parents getting shot in front of him. He at least has to accept that accidents happen.
>>68097792
>>>She with you?
>>68100323
Just wait until the review embargo for Civil War lifts. It'll be a full week of RT score screencap threads and laughing Evans.
>>68103962
kekThere's a terrible "size doesn't matter" quip by Ant-Man, more to come later.
>>68105444
This is the calm before the storm.
>>68097792
https://youtu.be/gYKeQczkFfM
>>68106725
what a colossal faggot
>>68106725
BASED
