How does he know when to stop wiping?
you should try wiping your ass with your eyes closed, its pretty easy to tell when to stop
>>68069258
You can feel the moist on the TP when you wipe plus the smell.
>>68069288
how?
>>68069258
He can smell it
He has a heightened sense of touch. He knows exactly how much fecal matter is in his body at any given time.
>>68069258
His ass can sense if it's wet or not better than the normal ass. Also, can you imagine pissing with super senses? You'd want to orgasm every time.
>>68069258
He gets Foggy to tell him
>>68069408
>>68069397
>>68069405
>you will never sniff karen's pussy from afar with your heightened capekino powers
>>68069466
why would you want to do that
>>68069349
when you feel the blood
>>68069578
blood isn't good
>>68069466
what would it smell like?
>>68069678drugs
>poop in the morning
>wipe so you don't feel noticeable amounts of poop on your butthole
>take a shower and get squeaky clean
If you don't clean your asshole after a poop with soap and water then you're an unclean nigger.
>>68069678
fish
He uses wet wipes.
>>68069780
I take dry shits though.
>>68069780
>not just using these
Pleb
>>68069780
I only do that if i need to leave the house that day because i fear i might be smelling of peepee poopoo
>>68069678
Cottage cheese
>>68069466
>Matt can taste her menstruation in the air
>>68069258
>Implying my husbando doesn't have a baby smooth anus that shit just falls right out of
>>68069678
Sour milk
>>68069678
salty milk and coins
>>68069962
Are those cheap or expensive? I've never bought them before.
>>68069258
when he runs out of toilet paper
>>68069678
tuna casserole
>>68069701
>>68069794
>>68069977
>>68069999
>>68070151
>>68070186
>>68070307
does pussy really smell bad?
>>68070186
I would have posted this.
>>68070350
not unless they wash
>>68070350
A poorly maintained one does, and most women are disgusting, dirty slobs
>tfw no blind gf to help go to the toilet
>>68070350
lick the back of your hand, wait for it to dry then shittthats what pussy smells like :^)
>>68070350
it can smell disgusting or have no smell at all. It depends on the girls hygiene, what she eats, if she douches, etc. One of my ex's had no smell and really no taste. I drunkenly hooked up with a girl once who smelled like rotten fish
>>68069397
underrated post
>>68070572
>I drunkenly hooked up with a girl once who smelled like rotten fish
how do you even fuck someone like that without puking
>>68069780
This is the only acceptable answer. And if you need to poop after you shower, save it for the next day.
>>68070549
I've worked as a personal assistant. Trust me, it's not fun to have a handicapped dependent.
"Flushable wipes"
Bitch please they're baby wipes and they'll always be baby wipes just like your "manbag" is a fucking purse you fans
>>68070350
honestly fampai it's only fat or unsanitary girls that are like that, a nice shaved, clean innie pussy is literally the best
>>68069258
Sometimes the difference between a clean ass and a dirty one is a sharp line. Sometimes it's a blur
How do you guys wipe
>>68070871
sitting, back to front, scrunched
To quote my good friends over at reddit, "dry wipe, wet wipe, dry wipe, flush."
>>68070871
I tape a line of toilet paper across the rim of the toilet seat and proceed to shimmy my ass in a circular motion across, scraping the shit off my ass. I then piss on one of the pieces and use it to apply the finishing touches to my asshole.
Then I just leave the seat like that until mom cleans it up
>honestly you just... you hope for the best
>>68070871
I use a bidet you fucking barbarian.
he uses his super smell.
believe me going bathroom is smelly for him.
I'm a blind man too and my smell is out of this world.
He can also detect electtrical interference which is not the same as seeing
>>68070195
>equate
Wal-Mart brand, son
>>68071080
>bidet
funny name for a street gutter you red dot
>>68070871
I'm a girl and i always just masturbate while taking a shit, so I'm really wet when I'm finished, then I drag the toilet paper across my vag ang continue to wipe front to back, same as a wet wipe
>>68071117
weak bait
>>68070761
Normal baby wipes don't dissolve and will clog your shit
Flushable wipes are named as such precisely because they are different, you mongoloid
>>68070871
I dig it out with my bare fucking hands like a man.
>>68071211
Whatever you say babyman
>>68071253
>he walks around smelling like shit and doesn't even know it
>>68070949
This is literally the worst way I can imagine. Enjoy your shitballs.
>>68071292
This will always be my greatest fear. Not even knowing if I smell. Thats why I hold in all my farts and poops until I can get home.
anyone else have the issue where you don't do a complete poo and there's a little bit left inside? And its like your butthole doesn't close properly and no matter how much you wipe, the paper is never clean?
>>68070871
Is there any other way?
>>68071420
every single time
>>68071420
I fucking hate this.
>>68071420
I will never know peace from this feel
>>68069258
not funny
I have IBS, its non lethalt but it will destory you whole life, imagine each time you are leaving your home you are afraid that you will have to take a dumb in public toilet. Your shit is glue-like consistency. It is impossible to clean and require shower.
Take a dumb in work and smell like hobo for next few hours. If you are working in small enviroment and there is only one toilet, flushable wet wipes will fuck sewer.
You can wipe for straight 20minutes and there is steel poop.
fml
>>68071420
That's why you learn to squat. Complete shitting experience every time.
>>68071706
>Found the Indian
>>68071665
cant it be cured?
>>68069780
>If you don't clean your asshole after a poop with soap and water then you're an unclean nigger.
This. My work has a shower for this explicit purpose.
>>68069678
Like old pennies drizzled with sweet and sour sauce.
>>68069678
bag of sand
>>68071420
There are people that take a shit in less time that I pee, sometimes I can hear them in public toilet, each fucking time, they get in, 3 seconds, first I hear
>ugh
then
>*plump*
Done
Miracle-tier shit whole life, its great feeling, you feel like your legs are light as fuck, comfy emptiness in your bowel and happliy gaping anus after big long turd took a ride.
>Not sticking your ass ovr the edge of the bath n using the shower head to blast your butthole clean
sickening desu senpai
>>68069678
fish and ballsack smell
>>68071864
>not boiling a pot of water before your poo and using the hot water to scald your anus as punishment for being so filthy.
>>68071751
Nope, you can take meds but there is barely any difference.
Colon itself is okay, but bowel movement is fucked up, due to food is not properly digested and as result shit is glue-tier, full few weeks constatipation or life time diarrhea.
Stress is the biggest factor. Your brain unconsciously control bowels, so when head is fucked up it result in shit.
>>68069678
pic related
>>68071420
>>68070350
LMAO
ive only smelled that from clothed women who were filthy enough to smell through clothing. but the naked ones ive encountered smell more like pheromones and jesus
>>68072047
i have the nevereding shit problem sometimes too m8
fuck it, most times even
sometimes i'll have the dry ghost shits that dont leave any marks for weeks
>>68072131
what do pheromones smell like
>>68071439
Demolition Man was a good movie.
>>68072117
DELETE THIS
>>68072177
basically like bags of salty fish and sand
>>68069780
Get a bidet. They make simple ones that install on to any toilet. I got one for Christmas. Changed my fucking life.
Downside is you feel like a fucking peasant when you have to shit without it.
Do you remember this guy that was posting few years agon on nye. He had a bin next to his desk, its wast shitbin or whatever robots call it, there was shit all around bin on the floor and on his chair, because he did not wipe after.
>>68072242
pheromones are released through armpits too though
do female armpits smell like salty fish and sand?
uses a bidet
>>68070871
I use paper towels and dig it all out aggressively.
>there are actual plebs here who don't shit in the shower and then throw it in the trash
>>68070949
>back to front
>>68072320
Plus you can crank it to max and give yourself a little ass play/high velocity enema.
FGM
>>68070871
Side to side
>>68072337
>Guy
That was a girl bro. Let that shit sink in and imagine how she must have smelled.
>water splash from your shit hits your butthole
>it's actually your piss splashing on your butthole
>>68072543
>dick accidentally touches shit-log as its coming out of the asshole
>>68072320
>mfw your parents gave you an ass hose for Christmas because you smelled like shit
>>68072543
I thought i was the only one that pee'd while pooing
>Water splashes up my asshole when I shit
>instantly get an erection and rub it on the bowl until I cum
>>68072697
crazy
you must be the only person who has ever done that
>>68070716
>he has never puked on a girl while fucking her
>>68072177
idk if i can describe it but they are mammalian magic…like primal level stuff. scents that you dont "consciously" smell but on some deeper level it just brings out your instincts as a man/beast/animal
>>68072954
my ex girlfriends pussy was like this. never had one since that came close
>>68072239
>>68073011
>>68072954
pubic hair catches and carries pheromones so if your gf has a bit of hair down there you can get the same experience
This is the patrician way to wipe. Anything else is suicide tier
>>68069962
I switched to these last year, and they're amazing. Never going back to toilet paper.
>>68074072
Why not both? Toilet paper for the heavy stuff, and wipes for the cleanup.
>>68073729
No one can afford TP that strong
>>68073729
is that supposed to be a simpson?
>>68069258
He probably take a shower after wipe(i'm not blind and i do that).
>>68073729
how about a system like this?
it's a reusable, self-cleaning belt that turns at a desired speed. you simply squat over it or a seat could be installed. obviously there would need to be a balance between durability and comfort of the belt.
>>68069258
If you use babywipes (which every civilized person should), you can just wipe 4 times and be sure everything's fine.
>>68071665
There's a guy at my job who totally wrecks the bathroom every time he shits. I just assumed it was because he's fat, but maybe he has IBS.
Although aren't people with IBS usually skinny?
>>68069258
one time it was so much to take almost need mother assist to wipe but it was not too much in the end thanks to remind
>>68073729
There's no way to turn the toilet paper upside down, so you'd just be streaming shit down your back
>>68071665
> steel poop
> mfw
>>68074072
>>68069962
Enjoy spending tens of thousands of dollars destroying your home's sewer system
>>68071420
That happened to me today for the first time in a long time. Even after I gave up and took a shower and spread my cheeks for the water THERE WAS STILL POOP.
>>68071420
>>68076006
Eat a couple of pounds of vegetables a day and you'll never have this problem again. In fact, you'll have the most pleasant shits of your life
>>68070186
Oldfag confirmed
>>68071665
Do you have diarrhea often?
>>68069962
mah nigga
>>68075018
That and youll be touching your own shit
>>68069258
he has a bidet
I drank some high fiber mix once. Two hours later, I effortlessly shat out 30 feet of perfect rope-shaped poo. I felt like I was the complete god of my own anus. It was fabulous.
If anyone ever needed one thread that summed up /tv/ this is it
>>68076918
Did you take a picture?