In the inevitable LOTR remake, what changes should a modern, progressive film director make to make it click with modern audiences?
Frodo and Sam will be an actual gay couple.
WHEN WE GETS TO DA MOUNT DOOM WE'S GON BE FREE N SHIEET
>>68052950
Butt they are a gay couple
Frodo Bashala Achmed Baggins and Samwise Muhhamed Hussein Gamgee will be Syrian refugees trying to get to Berlin to destroy racism and help the EU cover the whole world
Gandalf should be black since he is a good guy and Sauron should be white christian heterosexual male. Nazguls should be transgenders
>to make it click with modern audiences?
since the inevitable remake will be in 2050 tops, everyone should be a robot
>>68052979
>Abraham Sauron's army is composed largely or rebelling slaves from Gondor tired of their oppression from the cruel, white slavemasters
>The council of Elrond decides not to destroy the ring, but bring it south and use it's power to make the Haradrim accept gay marriage
>When Gandalf dies he is reborn as Gandalf the Black, and has a massive afro and chocolate skin to symbolize his purity
>>68052979
I want to fuck that man in a no homo kind of way.
>both frodo and sam are transgender people of color
>aragorn is a 7'1 person of color that has an elf wife
>gandalf is an asian
>merry and pip are replaced with two middle eastern looking female characters that are lesbians
>legolas is an indian (dot not feather)
>eowyn is an african american
>faramir, boromir, saruman, and sauron are all white males
>>68052893
>Frodo and Sam are gay
>Legolas is a transgender woman
>Aragorn is black
>Boromir is white but Faramir is a Mexican
>Gandalf is transgender gay for lesbian Galadriel
>Rohan are clearly medieval Arabs
>Gondor are multi-ethnic
>Bilbo's birthday feature a lot of homosexual couples
>Eowin is under-age and Aragorn fucks her on screen
>Arwen is a man
>The Nazgul wear white robes
>it's a /tv/ invents shit to get triggered by thread
>>68052893
MORE BBC
LESS EVIL STRAIGHT WHITE MALES
*HISS*
>>68052893
make it good
>>68053072
Shariah does not allow robots you cis shithead.
>>68053160
Now that deserves a tip
>Faramir is a cis male at first, but becomes a transwoman when he helps Frodo
>Gollum is removed from the film because it's ableist to portray mental health issues in film
>Sauron is now a white heterosexual male who doesn't feel the bern
>>68052893
sauron is a fucking white male
all humans are blacks and live in egyptian setting
aragorn is a black kween
hobbits are native american midgets
elves are transgender
gimli played by melissa mccarthy
eddie redmayne as trans-legolas
aragorn is a black kween played by lupita bongo
gandalf played by betty white
oompa loompa guy plays all hobbits
>>68053065
>transgender nazghul
>transgender baddies
are you mad? you'd get ripped apart by SJW's if you do that
remember the hardleft sjw creed: of Trans Female Gay, bad things you can never ever ever say
>>68053088
>faramir
he was a good character though m8. Fuck genetics and biology, Boromir is a white man and Faramir is a strong independent black woman. True brothers of gondor
>>68053256
>gimli played by melissa mccarthy
>>68053205
Close but not quite. Gollum and Smeagol are headmates.
gollum would be an MRA
>>68052893
More women. Some blacks in the background.
That's it. All the top hits still have mostly white cast.
If anything we'll see more and more Asians since China will soon become the largest market. And blacks don't sell in Asia. At all.
>>68052893
>Theodan is portrayed as a horrible human being because he is a cis white male
>Aragorn is black or is gay
>Boromir is completely bad
>The hobbits are all gay for each other since the regressive left can't understand true friendships
>Orcs are to look more like whites seeing as they would be too similar to stereotypical American/African black
>Eowen is a completly different character and s Mary Sue to boot
>Eowen has so many scenes that portrays her as the wymen are stronk and independent characterization that plagues films today
>Gandalf is trans
>Saruman is the embodiment of "Evil capitalism"
>Gondor is full of blacks
>Rohirrm have a shite ton of Arabs and Asians
>Eowen replaces Theodan doing the speech before the Battle of Pelenor Fields
>Elves are trans
The future is dark my friends.
>>68053838
>boromir is completely bad
This triggers me so bad
Even in the theatrical version where we never see him offering to go get the Ring in Faramir's stead, I always felt bad for the guy
>I would have followed you my captain... my King
>>68053916
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TAI3YM_49MY
Boromir was the best character, shame he died so early.
>>68052893
whats the point of this thread none of you will have input. it will ne prodced by jews and have black people and shitskins as elves and suck
I am excited to see the improved cgi by the time it does come around
we may not get to explore the cosmos but we are just in time to see some awesome cgi and maybe within the next 20 years it will truly be indistinguishable from reality
>>68052893
Frodo and Sam are a male to female trans fag couple.
Orcs are white.
Aragorn is black, his love interest is white but she's questioning her heritage.
Elves are refugees.
The only thing a hypothetical LOTR movie needs, when compared to the Jackson movies, is restraint, by reducing the action schlock and adding more meaningful dialogue.
>>68054024
>ywn watch Fellowship of the Ring for the first time
>>68053136
Yeah, race changes and sex changes in established franchises are impossible, am I right?
>pipeweed is unambiguously marijuana, doug benson and snoop dog have cameos
>gondor is filled with easterling refugees
>arwen is a part of the fellowship, well liked by all. excellent fighter, can speak several languages, stronger in the force than anyone
>eowyn is now trans, when she says 'I am no man' and stabs the witch king it has no effect
>Prequel trilogy documenting the Kin Strife war in Gondor
>Northmen are blacks
>Eldacar is a mulatto
>Castamir played by Adam Driver
>They will make Boromir a completely horrible person
>The hobbits are all gay
>Eowen or Arwen will be part of the fellowship
>No "I would have followed you my brother, my captain, my king" ;_;
>Everyone will say quips
>Aragorn will be ruined
>Elves would be transgender
>Sauron is a evil white man
>Theoden is killed at Helms Deep so Eowen can lead the Rohrirmm
I don't want LOTR to be ruined bros
>>68054938
>>Sauron is a evil white man
m8, he was always one
>>68055151
He is more of an elf though
>>68052893
Two words: More quips
>>68052893
>all black cast
>plot is trying to prove innocence in ring theft accusation
>starring Afrodo Swaggins, Famalize Ganjis, Barry and Puffin', Baffsalt da whiz, Almos'gon, Gimpy, and Legless
>>68054506
Nigga no one here is saying this shit unironically.
