>hehe the prequels are bad
>I <3 RLM, please be my friends
>muh Plinkett
>guys if you don't like this that's ok
>DON'T BE UPSET IT'S JUST MY OPINIONS GUYS
>>67821243
What's his name again?
>>67821474
Chris "The Cuck" Stuckmann
>>67821519
how is he cuck
you forgot
>THIS MOVIE DOESN'T FEATURE A STRONG AND INDEPENDENT WYMYN THIS IS OUTRAGEOUS
>le pretending to like the Prequels meme
>>67822341
Nice strawman
>>67821243
What shit flick that you love did he shit on to get you this assblasted?
>>67821546
everyone is a cuck
>>67822404
>using a cinemasins defense
Have some self respect, guy.
nah he's aight nice normie dude, not a dick like yms. i don't watch his videos tho
>>67821546
he pays his friends on other youtube channels to fuck his wife
cinemasins went to shit
>>67821243
He has a large fanbase, is a critic for RT, has a wife, and is a published author. He's the spitting image of Youtube success.
definition of bland
The difference between Chris Stuckmann and /tv/ is that Stuckmann gets paid to talk about movies in his basement.
Remember seeing his review on force awakens, after that the rest of his reviews became null
>>67823649
CS was good when their videos were under 10 minutes. Now it's just Family Guy tier non-sequiturs for 18 minutes.
>>67821243
"I HAD A TON OF FUN WITH THIS MOVIE"
"I HAD A TON OF FUN WITH THIS MOVIE"
"I HAD A TON OF FUN WITH THIS MOVIE"
"I HAD A TON OF FUN WITH THIS MOVIE"
"I HAD A TON OF FUN WITH THIS MOVIE"
One of the legion of Youtube "personalities" with bland, middle of the road opinions carefully crated to not offend anyone.
Not a tinge of creative insight to be found. It's hard to believe these are actually people because their videos are scripted and tempered enough to shave off any hint of personality or genuine passion. Boogie10988 is another prime example.
>>67824542
>le if he isn't a cynical memester therefore he is bad
He's one of the few reviewers to actually point out bad things AND good things instead of being a cynical idiot who goes "omg this movie was so shit blood and shit came out of ma eyes XD"
>>67824636
Don't by cynical, be genuine.
>>67824636
I don't get people that look forward to negativity. There are so many people licking their lips, just dying to see movies get ripped apart by their favorite asshole z-list celebrities. I literally see people saying how they can't wait to see this/that review because they want to see how much the guy hated it. Fuck that.
He's fuck sights better than Jeremy Jahns, that's for sure
>>67824851
Jahn's is pathetic, desu.
His Twitter is filled with posts complaining about his comment sections, or whining about how he's too lonely to sleep, or posting selfies of him alone with a glass of rum.
>>67821243
>hating on the Mr. Rogers of Youtube movie criticism
That's like talking shit about a glass of milk. Funny, but ultimately pointless.
>>67824948
Christ, I just checked and you're right. Doesn't seem like that in his videos though
>>67821243
Don't always agree with his reviews, but his Drive and Only God Forgives analysis vids were pretty damn good
>>67821243
I don't hate him as a human being, he seems nice, but I can't stand the idea of someone this pleb reviewing movies. I'd bet anything the oldest film he's ever seen is 12 Angry Men. Can anyone disprove this?
>>67821243
>Is he the most loathsome cunt on the planet?
No. As >>67824542 mentioned he's as inoffensive as they come. Even his bad reviews are too kind. At worst he's someone you don't agree with and don't give a second thought.
I see (or used to) see his picture here regularly, I don't remember his name because the only thing I've seen of him was an awful review of that Chun-Li movie where he yelled the entire time and a video where he quit his job and acted like it was "epic", anyway that guy was was much worse.
>>67824191
at least it's his basement
>>67824542
you sound like someone why hasn't seen his dragonball evolution review
>>67821243
I've never seen him reference RLM
>>67825334
That's him, and his stupid hat. By far the worst eceleb out there. Does he do anything but yell and act like he has ADHD?
>>67825395
Nobody liked that movie. Who's to offend by criticizing it?
>>67821243
I think you're the loathsome cunt OP. I think you're pissed that Chris has a seemingly nice life tbqh.
>>67825495
He's the least cringe-worthy member of his squad.
>>67821243
That greentext fits way too many people.
You could probably make a thread every day for the rest of the year and change the pic to another guy each day and it would work.
loathsome, no. at least he usually tries to be positive, even in bad reviews, like when he did lady in the water. he agreed that the movie had a lot of weird and terrible shit in it, but the cinematography was good and at least Shyamalan was trying to be original and Paul Giamatti was good in it. then there's JNH's score. nothing wrong in that department.
>>67825558
>Doug
>least cringe-worthy member Channel Awesome
Have you seen his recent videos?
>>67825558
He looks like a pedophile\nerd\self-loathing piece of shit
>so basically like the average youtuber
>>67825590
I smell a hot new meme.
I watched his videos for a short period of time, one video pissed me off (I can't even remember what it was, wish I did) decided to unsub
>>67825519
you're still wrong. every review he does offers some criticism. not enough? maybe, but it's there.
>>67825623
Yes. Have you seen Linkara's movie?
>>67825665
>Linkara's movie
Please no, don't let that be a thing.
>>67825631
I don't know about any of that, but he is a nasty cockslut.
>>67825701
You've been missing out, buddy.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h76fBmV2GVo
>>67825558
kek'd because he looks like this guy http://i.4cdn.org/wsg/1459624022079.webm
>>67825665
Touché.
>>67825649
They're safe and toothless criticisms, meshing with his intended audience as much as possible. The persona that he's cultivated over the years is as safe and calculated as one can be. If he actually hated a movie, he would review it as diplomatically as possible, not injecting an ounce of personality or passion into the review. Some people like that shit, i personally do not.
>>67825746
I haven't even made myself watch the avgn movie.
I think I'll just skip it.
>>67825746
>People seriously thought these guys could make a movie
I couldn't watch more than 30 seconds.
>That cringeworthy dialogue
>Completely shitacting
>everyone's sitting on a sofa telling bad jokes about movies
>I'm thirty and I still feel like I need an adult after watching Caligula!
>>67826202
It also cost six times the budget of Eraserhead.
This entire thread and its ilk:
>>>/trash/
Friendly reminder that youtubers don't belong on /tv/.
>>67826202
I made it five minutes. When you fuck up a simple quick cut "We'll be never be x" "we're x" gag you know it isn't worth seeing.
>still watching shit reviewers
Come join us at the patrician review channel, /tv/
https://www.youtube.com/user/ralphthemoviemaker
>>67821243
Not a fan of his videos but I don't mind him either. He seems like a nice guy and doesn't have a miserable attitude like many other reviewers.
>>67824948
>movies are the only things that keep him going
Suddenly his reviews and ratings make more sense.
>>67826075
why does it matter at all to you? unless you wish to match his opinions with your own it shouldn't matter what the fuck he says.
I would take him or someone like Jeremy Jahns over someone like Every Frame a Painting or Yourmoviesucks any day.
The latter are pretentious fuckwits with a middle school level understanding of "real film" while the former are two normies with normie taste and who are completely honest about what they are. Other youtube "critics" are so far up their own ass (like the literal faggot behind YMS) that they go out of their way to pick the most inaccessible films to be their favorites.
>hehe the prequels are bad
they are bad. There are highlights for sure, but they are bad.
>I <RLM, please be my friends
I have literally never heard him talk about RLM
>guys if you dont like this that's ok
by disagreeing with this are you implying that you have to like everything? That seems kind of silly
>DONT BE UPSET ITS JUST MY OPINIONS GUYS
Would you rather he insist that his views are the only right ones?
He isnt the god damn Adonis of flim criticism but for fucks sake give him a break.
>>67825558
>The videos I am unbelievably lucky you care about seeing will be done when they are DONE. I have a VERY BUSY SCHEDULE. You can not comprehend my deeply troubled life of having to watch Power Rangers and read comics and then talk about it on camera. IT. TAKES. TIME. Do NOT ask me when the next video will be out. Respect my deep and introspective process.
MOVE ASIDE FOR BEST YOUTUBE CRITICS
>>67826505
i want passion and authenticity in my reviewers
>>67826587
I guess that's a good point. He's got lousy taste, but he doesn't think he's better than other people because he's seen every Kubrick movie.
>>67823649
they went to shit when they started getting longer and creating more videos. Only upside to that is that it is basically impossible for anyone to take his videos as any kind of legitimate criticism anymore since almost none of the "sins" have anything to do with film.
>>67826732
i'm beginning to wonder how many of his videos you've watched
>>67826701
>i'm going to give this one a 4.35/5
>I'm going to give it a 3.85/5
Why the fuck do you faggots use so many fucking decimals?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8VUyJYpPwks
what the actual fuck
>>67826875
A few
>>67826980
because they are fucking idiots
>>67821546
Only a true cuck would ask such a question.
>>67826987
That is kind of cool. I remember going to Blockbuster all the time when I was a kid.
>>67826987
There's still a family video in my city. I never go though. Netflix works for all my needs.
![maxresdefault[1].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/aL8wryr.jpg "maxresdefault[1].jpg")
Miss me yet /tv/?
>>67827693
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6CozBD3GAP0
>>67823649
They were always shit.
>>67822341
this literally never happens
Chris Stuckmann > Jeremy Jahns > theFLICKpick > Screen Junkies
I only watch Cuckmann to listen to his voice to make me wet
>>67828683
>jeremy jahns
>>67825633
do it anon
>>67821243
>Hating on based bro Stuckmann
>>67821474
Young Norm MacDonald.
>>67834560
How dare you use kino reaction images when defending redditors
>>67821243
OP confirmed for tryhard ep7 hater who is butthurt he got btfo by based stuckmann
>>67826701
that christian guy seems alright but mark seems to like everything, including that ghostbusters trailer
he seems bland and doesn't make a lot of facial expressions and that gives me the willies
>>67821243
Your pathetic memes aside, his biggest flaw is his knee-jerk reaction movie reviews 25 minutes after he sees them. He never has time to process and objectively review any film these days, because in the age of Youtube Movie Reviewers™ he can't wait to upload.
He's kind of a basic bitch, don't get me wrong, but he has the capacity to think objectively but he doesn't because either he wants that YT top dollar or he's suffering from fanboyism.
He gave like 3 or 4 movies this year an A+. One of them was TFA. Let that sink in.
I fucking love Chris, what's wrong with him?
>actually paying attention to youtube shit
When will the normies finally decide it's time to fuck off?
>>67821243
The prequels do suck. Especially Phantom menace NOT because of jar jar (hes still really bad) but because the movie is a boring, uninteresting mess that is somehow filled with effort such as the miniature sets that somehow look like cgi bullshit. George is so shitty that he managed to make the miniature sets LOOK LIKE CGI if that isn't talent i don't know what is.
Phantom menace is a menace to all that is holy. It is pure dogshit.
>>67821243
Ben Affleck?
This guy has atleast done some short movies to know how hard it is to do something. Hence he criticizes movie makers less. Check out the hilarioucity review of his Indiana jones. I like him so BTFO fags
>>67821243
And he says he's a filmmaker yet he doesn't make anything related to original content that doesn't involve a review about new movie garbage.
>>67823649
And when they brought in that Bobby Burns fag. Ugh.
>>67827693
No. He wants to fuck animals.
>>67821243
King of normies has done nothing wrong really
>investing this much personal energy in despising a random faggot on the internet
Erryone in this thread blows dick
>>67834560
>Stuckmann
>based
pick one and one only
>>67823649
this comment doesnt feature a lapdance xD
Stuckmann is the best movie reviewer on YouTube hands down
>>67837611
He appeals to the plebs and litters his reviews with simpleton's terms like "awesome", "amazing", "fun", etc, with a side of hyperbole, but his review/analysis of Enemy and some of his earlier videos give true insight into his genuine love of film and real ability to understand the craft.
>>67821243
Wooooaaaaah what? He's awesome. Literally nothing negative to say about him. I really don't understand why he'd get any hate unless it's from people who are jealous of his moderate success.
Seriously, he's just a dude who reviews movies, he's not an ass and he doesn't seem to have an ego, he doesn't sway hard to the left or right in terms of his opinions on movies, he generally represents the (sane) majority. What's wrong with that?
I guess I could see how someone would say he's bland but at least he's genuine and isn't a tryhard.
>>67827004
Not enough clearly. If he dislikes a movie he'll say it. I don't think it's necessary to exaggerate for the sake of entertainment if you don't like something. THAT seems insincere to me. But anyway, Chris has done plenty of negative reviews where he spices things up for fun.
>>67837611
> He never has time to process and objectively review any film these days
That's not his fault, that's the nature of running a youtube channel. That's like criticizing a business for laying off employees so they can make money, they're not there for your charity they're there to be successful.
Now this isn't a perfect analogy in the sense that he seems to do it for fun and it's an expression of his love of film but can you blame him for taking steps to make his channel successful?
>He gave like 3 or 4 movies this year an A+. One of them was TFA. Let that sink in.
Oh no he liked 3 or 4 movies a whole lot. Oh no he liked a starwars movie that was objectively really good but it's popular so you're supposed to hate it.
jesus christ
>>67834834
Fuck
>>67826701
>One of them sees the movie and the other doesn't, leading to a video where one just asks random questions and sits there
They need to stop doing this.
>>67826701
good taste right here senpai
>>67821474
My boy
>>67821243
He's a nerdy, beta, cringy autist that attracts other nerdy, beta, cringy autists. Think about it. Nerdy, beta cringy autists live on the internet and spend upwards to 15 hours a day browsing just youtube alone. Of course they will all flock to this gigantic faggot, like his videos, and white knight for him like the nerdy, beta, cringy autists they are.
>>67844686
>that projection
Jesus go see someone familia
>>67844726
>nerdy, beta, cringy autist detected
STILL MY BOY
>mfw hes spills his spaghetti in movie fights
He was so uncomfortable and pissed off.
>>67845254
this >>67844686 literally describes him
>favourite movie last year was TFA
What the fuck, it's a fine flick but christ...
