>normally just download movies
>figure I'll see one on the big screen
>go to local theater
>ticket to Batman vs Superman
>decide to go all out
>get redvines, large popcorn, large soda
>fuck yes
>get perfect seat
>trailers start
>two girls in front keep looking back at me and whispering
>movie starts
>hear woman say "that's him right there"
>turn and see woman with usher
>usher asks me to come with him
>woman gives this weird shoulder flip and sits down
>usher brings me to back room
>tells me that I was staring at the two girls and making them feel uncomfortable
>try to explain that I was only watching the previews
>manager takes my photograph
>tells me the police are on their way
>tells me I'm banned from all AMC theaters forever
>says if I try to come in again I'll get arrested for trespassing
>ask him if I can get refund
>denied
>ask if he can at least go get my snacks
>tells me they're already thrown away, even though that's obviously bullshit
>wait in basically a broom closet for over an hour
>police come and handcuff me
>take my statement
>ask them what law I broke
>they say I'm lucky they're not taking me in for disturbing the peace
>give me a contact number and case number
>tell me an investigator will be contacting me
>tell me to stay away from schools and playgrounds or I'll be put in jail
>get walked out in cuffs
>released at their patrol car
My life is basically ruined now.
fuck
>he wasted his time posting this
ya you fucked up
you need to sit next to another group so it doesn't look like you are a single.
That or pay a homeless guy
>>67773727
Well the problem is solved because I can't go back. Waiting for the investigator to call is killing me though.
>>67773625
That's what happens when you don't use the theater showers
It seems like a pointless expense, but it stops this happening
sigh, now you know
>redvines
>>67773625
what a story mark
>>67773625
>redvines
DISGUSTING
>>67773886
There's literally nothing wrong with redvines. Top tier theater candy.
>>67773625
Should've just told the usher that you couldn't have stared at them because you're blind.
>>67773928
>>67774005
>not biting the ends off your redvines and making it into a straw
why even live?
>>67773972
Yea this bullshit worked in daredevil, very unconvincing blind man, if it weren't for him being actually blind those ninjas woulda' figured out his BS instantly. But theater security is probably not ninja-qualified.
>>67773625
ITT: things that never happened
>>67774084
Easy for you to say when you're not wondering if this bullshit is going to go to court or not.
>>67773625
reading this made me angry
fuck you
>>67774181
If this is real you deserve it. There's no way in hell I would go to a back room of a theater because some fucking rent-a-cop told me to. You should have just walked out.
>>67774202
living it is worse
>>67774233
Yeah i'd just leave and look twice as guilty for fleeing. No thanks.
>>67774269
That's right, you were worried about your snacks. How could I forget. Again, if true, I hope you get on a sex offender list.
>>67773625
>tells me I'm banned from all AMC theaters forever
How would that even work? Do they put your picture on the wall of every theater?
>>67774313
Shit cost almost 20 dollars.
I go to movies alone all the time. OP is a liar
>>67774372
Careful where you sit bruh.
>>67773625
>popcorn
There's your problem, order a patrician snack like crab legs next time
>>67773625
this is shit posting but OP if this actually happened you could sue the police for literally millions of dollars. They violated your 4th Amendment rights by handcuffing you and then essentially saying they weren't arresting you.
>>67773625
dumb frogposter
>>67773625
I'm waiting for the pic of OP to confirm my suspicions that he looks exactly like an IRL Pepe.
>>67773625
How did you even get into your local théatre alone without a falcon?
>>67773928
Anything but Milk Duds is a fucking waste of money, you pleb.
>>67773625
You're full of shit.
Stop posting garbage and at least support conversation that is relevant.
Or just shut the fuck up entirely.
That would be good too.
>>67773625
>ticket to Batman vs Superman
Manager and cops are obvious Marvelfags and are trying to kill capekino one viewer at a time
>>67773928
>he's so poor he buys redvines instead of twizzlers
I had twizzlers once, they tasted like candle wax. I pity you Americans, all your candy tastes like shit and you don't even know it
>>67774754
Thinking all American candy is like Twizzlers, Hershey's, etc. Is as stupid as thinking all American beer is Budweiser, Coors, etc.
>>67774854
Name some good American candy then
>>67774676
You're a pleb if you don't realise that OP is just adapting the classic french indie film 'pas un seul permis' into greentext.
>>67773625
>he spoke to the police
>he accepted being detained by a theater manager
>he accepted theft of his possessions
lel get a load of this fucking dumb frogposter
>>67774905
Reese's Cups, Jolly Rancher, AirHeads, Nerds, most Taffy
>>67775103
I've had all of those except AirHeads and they taste like garbage
Reese's would be OK if the chocolate wasn't such poor quality
>>67775160
oh bullcrap, Stlantic City Salt Water Taffy is incredible
give me some good candy names then
>>67775160
>Jolly Ranchers
>garbage
you fucking pleb, kill yourself
>>67774676
Fuck off.
>>67774497
this op you can get rich quickly.
>>67773625
cool story bruh
>>67774497
Police can handcuff you during an investigation for their safety.
>>67775248
what does this prove?
>>67775248
so what did you actually do
>>67775230
Literally any brand of European candy, even our bargain basement chocolate is better than your brand name palm oil shit
>>67773625
>wait in basically a broom closet for over an hour
Why??? You could've made a daring escape. This is what makes me not believe this.
If you really didn't bother those girls then get a fucking lawyer. sueing AMC will probably make you rich
>>67775380
you're just shitposting now
>>67775381
>run away
>basically automatically admit guilt
>add on fleeing justice and resisting arrest
no thanks
>No singles policy memed to life
You niggers are going to destroy this world with your meme magic.
>>67775381
The manger already had my info
>>67773625
What on earth would inspire you to make up a story like that?
>>67773625
It's because you're fat
I go to the movies alone all the time, and people are fine with it because I'm attractive
At least you're now aware of your place in the caste
>>67775655
It really happened. I don't know why no one ever believes what I say. Maybe if I was more convincing the manager wouldn't have called the cops.
fuck my life
>>67773625
>white """"""people""""""
>>67775712
Random girls aren't just going to say you stared at them if you didn't do it.
If this did happen, the correct approach would be to ask for the names of the girls, ask Usher for his autograph so you can sell it on Ebay, then report them to the police. Then go to the local newspaper. You should also have gotten photographic evidence.
They usually have cameras covering most areas at the movies, so you could easily have proven your innocence, unless they somehow reported you for staring at the back of their heads in the theatre itself.
>>67773625
>get perfect seat
So it was in the middle.
>trailers start
So it was dim.
>two girls in front keep looking back at me and whispering
They wouldn't have been able to see you clearly with that lighting and distance, plus nobody actually looks strangers at the movies, let alone turning their heads all the way around to do so.
OP was fapping.
Plus he probably looks like Jared Fogle.
>>67775893
>plus nobody actually looks strangers at the movies
Except for me, for I judge everyone's reaction at certain scenes in the movies.
>>67775980
Don't they mostly watch them blankfaced and silent?
But seriously though, it's like the urinal. When was the last time you saw strangers speaking (see: not arguing) at the movies.
>>67775959
I might have reached into my pocket for my phone or something. That's hardly masturbating.
OP, did you try showing them your theater pistol? I use a Walther PP with a custom suppressor (because some of us care about making noise and disturbing the theater you FUCKS).
Usually once they know you're carrying they'll leave you alone. One time I got questioned by the police but I showed them by gun and they knew I must be an alright guy because I respect the constitution and let me go.
I go to the movies alone all the time and never had this issue. I even see people at the theaters alone.
Regels probably doesn't give a shit as they charge $11 for tickets.
>>67773928
candys for children
>>67776599
*Candy's
>>67776546
this works for me literally every time
>>67775611
>supplying info to a theater manager because you're such a loser beta that you see them as an authority figure
>voluntarily being detained in a closet by this same "authority figure"
>>67773625
You're lucky, OP.
You didn't see the movie.
>>67776734
That's wrong as well bumbo
>>67773727
no the real real answer is to wait until theres nobody in the theater until you go see it.
seeing as its BvS he should be good now
you forgot to bring an extra jacket to make it look like you're waiting for someone
never leave home without one
>>67774718
Twizzlers are garbage compared to Red Vines.
>>67776761
Is the a wrongful restrainment law in the us?
Fuck you typed all that shit and thought it was funny enough to post
>>67776908
If he was put in the closet by force it would border on kidnapping, but this moron let himself be detained by a minimum wage chimp.
reminder that you are never alone
there is a skellington with you at all times
>>67773625
what a bunch of cunts. sorry anon
>>67775248
I've got a few police officer's business cards.
None from being arrested or threatened with arrest.
Unfortunately, I've been the witness to several crimes and several car accidents.
>>67775248
GAINES?
>>67778159
If he was lead to belive dude had authority then dude is still in the wrong, [not that he shouldn't have known better]
>>67773625
>ticket to Batman vs Superman
YOU DUN FUCKED UP. Never go to see DC movies alone, it's serial killer shit.
>>67773625
>supporting BvS
You deserve it.
>>67780699
>>67780703
These
You deserve to rot in hell for supporting a movie like this. I hope you go to jail for a very long time.
>>67775248
get a lawyer sue the theater.
> he skipped the pre show cinema mandatory single men pair ups conducted during the cinema shower
You deserved to have your viewing license revoked creep.
THAT'S SIX YEARS IN THE ISOCUBES CONVICT.
YOU THINK YOU ARE ABOVE CINEMA LAW? I AM THE LAW.
>tfw on cinema sex offender watch list
Now when I go to the theater I have to tell each row that I'm a violent sex offender and sit in the sex offender single seating that people incorrectly assume are for the disabled.
Better than being wheeled out on a hand cart in full restraints like Hannibal lecter I guess.
>75% of the responding posts actually took this seriously
What the literal fuck.
>>67773625
didn't read lol
>>67773625
That's what you get for eyeing up my daughters uh'-biaaatch
>>67774372
I always go to movies alone like Zootopia, surrounded by little girls, all looking at me smiling but I'm a good looking guy and don't have to worry about looking like a loser creeper like OP. Kek
>>67773727
I don't get the homeless guy "meme." South park did it 20 years ago in the south park movie with the kids buying a homeless guy a ticket to be able to see an R rated movie. Do people really think this is fresh meme material?
>go see BvS
>late because of friend, not many seats left
>have to sit up front
>plenty of seats in center of aisle
>people behind them all have their feet on the headrest
>figure they move them when they see I want to sit there
>"dude, there's plenty of other seats"
>"can't you see were using these?"
>have to see at the end of the aisle
>>67773625
I bought out the room for me and my daughters and you weren't supposed to be there uh'-biaaatch
>>67782487
>>go see BvS
>>late because of friend, not many seats left
>>not many seats left
Stopped reading your lies there
>>67782627
Well, not many seats that weren't surrounded by people.
>>67773625
>take my statement
>ask them what law I broke
Never talk to the police
>>67782627
Not him but when I went with some friends our showtime was sold out and the theater was packed. I know this because some of us got there a few minutes late and had to buy a ticket for the next showing.
>>67782394
>I always go to movies alone like Zootopia
wearing a fursuit? no wonder you're getting away with it, it's hard to tell who's singe and who isn't among the furpiles.
>>67775378
Probably was jerking off, lights still on during previews.
>>67774202
it made me laugh because it's bs
>>67775248
S U E
U
E
>>67775980
wew
>>67774497
Not true you fucking moron.
>AM I BEING DETAINED?!?!?!
This meme exists because you can actually be detained.
Wait, why did they tell the ushers you were watching them if you were not? Or maybe I don't know this meme
>>67773625
>im an autist
OP this is clearly a bull shit story and u should just kill urself for thinking anyone would believe this
>paying to see capeshit
That was your biggest mistake.
>>67774269
Guilty of what? Looking at people? Pretty sure that's not illegal mang
>>67782682
>>67782782
Zack, this is getting sad
>>67775248
You literally were arrested for being such a creeper, holy shit OP you should be proud instead of upset. I bet you said something weird to them though or did something to attract attention to yourself.
>>67783359
>OP this is clearly a bull shit story and u should just kill urself for thinking anyone would believe this
Stopped reading there
>>67773625
I know you're just trolling but in case you're really that much of an autist that you allowed this to happen to you pursue fucking legal assistance now.
Give your lawyer the story and whatever contact information the cops gave you. Prepare for AMC to fund the rest of your life.
This whole thread is bait or someone that deserves whatever they get. If some loser theater manager tried to detain me I'd tell them to fuck off and walk out, cops called or not. Why would you voluntarily surrender yourself to a person that couldn't rise above the rank of movie theater manager?
>>67773625
i like lies they make my dick hard
>>67783611
>Prepare for AMC to fund the rest of your life.
That's not how The Force works!
>>67783439
>stare rape apologist detected
>>67775248
If this is true then you need to stop being a beta and stand up for yourself. And by that I mean find the girls who did this to you and kill them. Bring justice to this forsaken world. It is the only way.
>>67783719
Should set the theater on fire imho
