Your absolute favorite line from The Office
>Yeah, D as in Andy
>I did a split and landed on my car keys and tore my scrotum. I need yo to take me to the hospital
>I'VE BEEN MADE A KEKOLD.
-The Nard Dog.
>I tried hopping Kevin, and I bumped my arm and now my elbow has a protruberance.
>it's a renner episode
I couldn't possibly pick a favourite but I'll post some great ones.
>Two eyes, two ears, a chin, a mouth, ten fingers, two nipples, a butt, two kneecaps, a penis. I have just described to you the Loch Ness Monster. And the reward for its capture? All the riches in Scotland. So I have one question. Why are you here?
>>67695317
>Well guys, welcome to the Office™
Really Mindy Kaling?
>>67695557
>Dunder Mifflin this is Pam Halpert from NBC's The Office on at 9pm EST every Thursday night, how may I help you?
Every episode
>This is an environment of welcoming, and you should just get the hell out of here.
>I
>DECLARE
>BANKRUPTCY
NO! NO GOD PLEASE NO! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
LOL it just gets me every darn time!!! HAHA!!!!
>>67695651
>this is Jenna Fischer's actual answering machine message
>as has Kevin
>with who?
>she goes to a different school
>I'm screaming, I'm screaming, I'm screaming!
>I wanna be married and have 100 kids so I can have 100 friends, and no one can say no to being my friend.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AJvOuj_CUyY
>must be like the tide at Omaha Beach
>I color code all my info
>green means go, so I know to go ahead and shut up about it
>orange means orange ya glad you didn't bring it up
>most colors mean don't say it
>>67695939
>oh and tell me...how's your gay son
>the homosexual sophomore
>>67695653
Kekek Michael to Toby one liners are goat
>Toby is technically corporate so hes not really a part of our family. Hes also divorced so hes not really a part of his family either
>depression? Isn't that just a fancy word for feeling bummed out?
>DWIGHT YOU IGNORANT SLUT
>>67695863
So fucking sad
>>67695317
the time Michael called Jim a fag and then quickly went into damage control mode
>"Pizza. Great equalizer. Rich people love pizza. Poor people love pizza. White people love pizza. Black people love pizza. Do black people like pizza?
Ten seconds later he's looking at the Lonnie enjoying pizza and shakes his head in agreement.
>>67695317
>well no one asked you anything ever so WHOMEVERS name is Toby why don't you take a letter opener and stick it in your skull
>>67695317
>toby let's go
>where?
>where? I'm gonna smack you in the head with a hammer, come on
>..ok
Best moment
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qQKsQid6hpA
HOT PIZZA CHECK IT AND SEE, GOT A WHOLE BUNCH OF PEPPERONIIIII
Dwight: Where are we going?
Jim: Get inside.
Dwight: Where are we going?
Jim: We're going to Chuck E. Cheese.
Michael: Chuck E. Cheese? Oh god, I'm so sick of Chuck E. Cheese.
Jim: We're going to the hospital, Michael.
>>67696343
>Dwight whats your middle name?
>danger
>its Kurt. I am so sad I know that
>ok reason for coming to hospital?
>head injury
>Michael starts erasing
>what'd you write?
>bringing someone to the hospital
>>67696410
>danger
kek
>>67695668
you're funny because you're ironic and definitely not a faggot
BLOOD ALONE MOVES THE WHEEL OF HISTORY!!!
>David Wallace: You can't fire Toby without cause Michael.
>Michael: I have cause, David. It is beCAUSE I hate him
>>67696614
>door to door charlatans
The way he says this line always kills me
>>67696343
You can't fire me! I DONT WORK IN THIS VAN
>>67696176
>sometimes you gotta ride the bull
Webster's dictionary defines wedding as "the fusing of two metals with a hot torch."
Well, you know something? I think you guys are two medals, gold medals!
>>67697038
Oh fug this is probably mine too. The fact that he gets TWO separate definitions wrong makes it
>Toby has been cruisin for a bruisin for 12 years. Well now I'm his cruise director, and my name is Captain Bruisin
Everything Michael has ever told Toby.
>Check for an organ donor card. If he has one, we only have minutes to harvest.
>He has no wallet, i checked.
>>67697229
their scenes are always golden. i'm glad there's few of them. makes them even more special.
>>67697265
>why are you the way that you are
>>67696785
>>67696614
>Have you ever asked yourself in an hour of meditation, which everyone finds during the day...
>Right? And if I had a gun, with two bullets, and I was in a room with Hitler, Bin Laden and Toby, I would shoot Toby twice.
BUTLICKER! OUR PRICES HAVE NEVER BEEN LOWER!
>>67695515
The only time i've seen Emily Blunt smile and it's so fucking cute
>>67695317
>image.jpg
>you don't call retarded people retards. Thats just bad taste. You call your friends retards when they are acting retarded.
>>67697932
I save all my reaction images as image.jpg no matter what specifically because autistic people get bent out of shape over it
![tumblr_npcg5hpUCc1u0kci2o1_500[1].png](https://i.imgur.com/Zmm4kVO.png "tumblr_npcg5hpUCc1u0kci2o1_500[1].png")
>>67695515
Jesus Christ, does he ever not make that stupid fucking face?
>why do you have a diary dwight?
>to keep secrets from my computer
>>67697909
She smiles all the time.
Are you thinking of Rose Byrne?
>everybody inside the car was FINE Stanley.
>>67698070
>Nixon nose
>always thought Pam and Jim's romance was sweet
>only realize all these years later that Pam was literally flirting with another man while she was engaged to that warehouse guy
Fucking whores.
>>67698070
I skipped that benghazi movie because I can't get that stupid, knowing smirk out of my head.
>>67698104
maybe because ive only seen her in Sicario and Groundhog Troopers, but i have never seen her smile.
I googled it and she looks weird.
>>67698122
Kekekek a gem
Bears. Beets. Battlestar Galactica.
>>67698156
>MICHAEL!
>oh that's funny; MICHAEL!
This bazing level garbage is not quotable like the kino level uk office.
I still enjoyed it
DARGHHAAAAAAAAHHH IM GOING TO KILL MYSELF!!
Basically this entire episode.
>In the wild, there is no Health Care. In the wild, Health Care is: ow, I hurt my leg; I can't run; a lion eats me, and I'm dead. Well, I'm not dead. I'm the lion. You're dead.
>>67698257
UK office was a different show.
It's like comparing curb'd and seinfeld.
>>67695515
i do not understand, renner episodes?
>>67697247
one of the goat office scenes. I lose my shit everytime I see Dwight with the mannequin face on his face.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vmb1tqYqyII
Ryan: [helping clean out Michael's car] What about this bottle of power drink on the back seat.
Michael: What flavor?
Ryan: Blue.
Michael: Blue is not a flavor.
Ryan: It says: "Flavor: Blue Blast."
Michael: Ooh, Blue Blast. Put that in the left cup holder...
>>67698257
Every time some dumb britcuck has to rear his malformed head in these threads.
>Well, well, well. How the turntables...
>>67698453
So Creed being a murderer is canon right?
>>67698534
>Michael giving a toast
>over the gums, through the lips, look out stomach...here we go
>>67695317
>>67695977
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1zUbhwIlGfg
I HAVE TO GO TO THE BATHROOM!
>>67698534
Fucking kek, gets me every time
>>67695317
Watching The Office for the first time now, when does it get bad?
>>67698657
>related
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xg4QEIDgnc4
Glorious.
>It's a fake wheel, dummy
>>67698735
Watch it all and decide for yourself.
>>67698762
Alright. Starting Season 6, so far so good.
>>67698735
>Season 1
Decent, not great but watchable.
>Seasons 2-4
Peak of the series.
>Seasons 5-6
Bit of a decline, still pretty good.
>Season 7
Hit or miss.
>Seasons 8-9
You can skip these.
>>67698735
After a certain story arc in season 5. From there, it gradually gets worse, and then in season 8, shit gets fucked up.
>>67698807
Quit while you're ahead m8 six begins the downturn
>>67698812
>>Seasons 8-9
>You can skip these.
Nah senpai, watch the finale for closure.
>>67698812
This is absolutely correct
>>67698812
>kelly: my middle name is Rajnigandha!
>Kevin: i thought Rajnigandha was a boys name
thought it was a very underrated line
>>67698973
>the peak in season 7 isGoodbye Michael
>>67699251
DROPPED
>>67698973
which episode is that in season 6 with the lowest rating of all?
>>67699378
>based on stereotypes that i do not agree with and are totally untrue, you probably wouldn't be a very good driver.
>Aww man am I a woman?
If you are a racist, I will attack you with the north
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dCmTiw0XlRs
>>67699853
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1564719/?ref_=ttep_ep14
The Banker
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sohWXdj3iyU
>>67699853
the banker
>>67699853
"The Banker", AKA the clip show episode
>>67699952
>>67699853
oh it's a clip show.
that's why
>you have more fun as a follower, but you make more money as a leader
>STANLEY, your Heart sucks and you crush your wife during sex, boom roasted
>>67695317
>"engaged ain't married, never give up"
>"I wish there was a way of telling you're in the good old days before you left them"
>>67700219
>>>"engaged ain't married, never give up"
this shows how much of a beta he is.
>>67695317
It's not a line but that scene where Toby pisses Mike off and he wraps the meeting up and says "Toby in my office" all polite like and when the camera crew tries to follow them into the office but Dwight closes the door and just shakes his head as he blocks the door
"Business is always personal, it's the most personal thing in the world."
>>67698973
curious to know the highest competing ones from season 2,3 and the 2 from 4
>you've been cuckolded by a stronger, smarter male
How is no one going to mention the fire drill scene? The first time I saw that I was in tears
>Michael trying to smash out the window with an office chair
>>67700677
>STAY FUCKING CALM
>Sir! There has been a murder, and you are a suspect!
>Okay...hang on just a second. Let me get settled in and I'll be right back
>Cut to Creed running out to his car and driving awayCaleb Crawdad is underrated... I do declare
>>67700677
That's good but even better is Kevin successfully smashing open the vending machine and looting it
>angelas cat in the drawer
>>67698812
Season 8 actually has some good moments.
>>67699869
>you wanna go to the beach?
>sure
>you wanna get high?
>NO
>I think ya do mon
Later
>maybe some spaghetti
>>67698812
No ur gay. Andy reading and replying YouTube comments alone are worth the final season. There's some great moments in the second to last and a few in the very last. Why would you just not watch 2 seasons of a show you already watched 7 of? Are you retarded?
>>67698466
>there's still some smell in the straw
>>67702345
I binged the whole show in like a month and stopped like 5 episodes into the last season. There was just no motivation to continue watching, closure wasn't worth it to me, it was so obviously being milked bone dry.
>>67695870
Fucking kek
>that's not how it works!
>just as hot as Jan, but in a different way
>>67702466
Your loss nerd
>>67698812
>>67698735
It's gets pretty noticeable around the middle of season 4, after the dinner party episode.
Toby:we're not all gonna sit in a circle Indian style are we?
>literally everyone else chuckling as they file in to the conference room
Michael:Get out
Also the opening scene when Michael sees the IT guy get out of his car in the parking lot, IT guy has a turban so Michael freaks out and turns all the lights off cause he thinks he's a terrorist
>>67698549
He's canonically a wanted criminal; murder is only heavily implied. It's also implied that he's stolen the identity of the real Creed Bratton.
Season 2 captured the work husband dynamic so perfectly with Jim and Pam. The fact that Pam's actual fiancee worked there as well was just icing on the cake.
>>67702911
Terrorist scene is GOAT
>me and the new it got.. did not get off to a great start
>>67695317
>Michael you DID get my evite to my barbeque
>>67695515
>emily blunt will NEVER step on your balls
just die in my sleep already
( ._.) ( ;_;)
>>67695515
I can imagine Renner goes out of his way to call him Jim and he fucking hates it
>>67695317
Meredith: yeah I got this thing about men cutting or threatening to cut my throat. Don't try to cut my throat
>>67695317
>because well Jim, where I'm from there's two types of folk: those who ain't and those who are knee high on a grasshopper. Which type ain't you ain't?
>y'all come back now
>>67698466
>How many filet of fish do you eat?
>it's built up over time
>still
>I am so tired of the Black Eyed Peas. It's rock and roll for people who don't like rock and roll, it's rap for people who don't like rap, it's pop for people who don't like pop.
>>67703652
I am the fucking Lizard King.
>>67695695
kek
>It's called hentai. And it's art.
>>67695392
My balls have never cringed so much
>>67697909
Doesn't even look like her when she smiles. Looks like tina fey
>>67700212
>Andy, Cornell called, they say you suck, and you're gayer than Oscar!
>Hi Ryan, this is Michael Jackson from wonderland
>You mean neverland?
>I'm the same old Michael Scott. New and improved
>The only thing I'm worried about is getting a boner
>>67703449
>"Yo Jim it's fucking hot in the back blast the A/C"
>>67695317
You, my friend, would be da belle of da ball. Don't drop the soap! *kiss kiss.
>>67709670
>I can't go to jail Oscar, I'm not like you
>what's that supposed to mean?
>You don't know about jail? You would love jail
>why is that
>Because... you would love it
>>67707624
Lol. He is a cool cat
>>67709892
Kevin to Oscar: you don't know? Oh you'd LOVE jail
>>67709670
>the worst thing about prison was-was the demonters!
>flyin around everywhere tryin to suck ya soul out
>and it hyurt!!
>>67698015
lel
> chukka chukka chukka
> what are you doing?
> Vietnam sounds
>>67695317
WHERE ARE THE TURRRTAAAALS
>>67713479
>it means veer right. Michael no. THIS ISNT A ROAD
>STOP YELLING AT ME
>>67698735
near the end of season 4 it starts dropping off fast
>>67714416
>driving into a lake
>"THERES NO ROAD HERE"
Season 3 finale should have ended the series
>>67702103
God tier
>>67713479
The way Dwight turns around as they are leaving that scene and says "We'll bill you" to the lawyer kills me every time.
Bippity boppity, give me the zoppity.
And referenced in a later episode when Michael says "and if I know Darryl, it gonna be zoppity"
I enjoy the tangy zip
of Miracle Whip
Why are you the way that you are? Honestly, every time I try to do something fun or exciting, you make it not that way. I hate so much about the things that you choose to be.
>>67720912
>office thread bump
>by Jim
POTTERY
>>67713284
The Injury is literally the best.
>Nobody steals from Creed Bratton and gets away with it. The person to do this disappeared. His name? Creed Bratton.
>Abraham Lincoln once said that if you're a racist I will attack you with the north
> how you say... waffles
>the fire is shooting on us
>Michael crashes Oscar's bike
>NEVER FORGET
>"I'm coming Michael!"
>"Is that Dwight? No, do not send Dwight!"
All of Scott's Tots.
>I'll see your situation and I'll raise you a situation. Your company is losing clients left and right. You have a stockholder meeting coming up and you're going to have to explain to them why your most profitable branch is bleeding. So they may be looking for a little change in the CFO. So I don't think I need to wait out Dunder Mifflin. I think I just have to wait out you.
>>67698534
JIIIIIM
