>go to theatre
>buy food
>eat it all before the movie starts
>Food costs more than the IMAX tickets
>>67625795
This happens to me all the time when I take my wife's son to the theater
>>67625795
>go to theatre
>buy a large soda
>drink it all during the previews
>have to piss so fucking bad
>movie starts
>don't want to miss anything
>squirm in my seat for 2 agonizing hours
>the movie was shit anyway
That happens to me all the time when I watch stuff. I usually prepare like 2 meals and 3 snacks in between if I sit down for a 2 hour movie.
>>67625795
this is good though, you let everyone watch the movie in peace
>>67625795
>buy a large soda
>have to piss during the middle of the film when it's getting good
>Not walking into the theatre with a backpack full of all the food and drink you want.
>>67625795
>go to theatre
>buy large popcorn
>eat it all in 40 minutes
>get refill
>counter worker doesn't rip the tab off my bag
>I can get another refill later
>large popcorn and soda
>feel like shot for the rest of the day
>>67625795
>his theater doesn't have free refills on crab legs
>>67626289
how does that make you feel bad? The other day I had a large soda (one refill) and a large popcorn (two refills) and I felt fine
>Go to theater
>Bring 20oz. bottle of soda with bourbon in it with me in my back pocket
>Finish it before the movie is over
>Piss in the empty bottle because I'm too drunk to care
>Roll the bottle under the seat in front of me
>See guy about three rows ahead of me lean down
>He yells "WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS PISS?"
>His reaction is better than the movie I was watching
And that was Sunday night at Batman V. Superman.
>>67626462
i dont believe you but i laughed
>>67626289
This. I haven't gotten popcorn at the movies in years because the nasty greasy butter substitute shit they put on it made me want to fucking puke for the rest of the day after the movie.
>>67626503
stop asking for 'butter' then
>>67625993
This happens to me every time
>>67625993
>Dark Knight Rises
this was before all the memes
>>67625795
Every fucking time
Also, i make food at home when i watch something like a can of chili or popcorn and i finished it in 5 minutes and im still hungry so i have to stop the flick and make something else
>movie finishes
>popcorn bag is still half full
>>67625993
every single time.
>>67626074
>when it's getting good
Name literally one film that does this
>>67626253
You leave during the middle of the movie to get more popcorn? Do you not care about the shit you miss?
>>67625833
>wife's son
epin
>Go to theatre on Thursday to see BvS
>expect it to be packed so we go early.
>15 minutes before the movie starts, theatre has three other groups in it.
>ate all my food already.
>>67625795
hahaha, can't help it. Those hot dogs get cold fast man.
>go to the movies with my roommates
>they want to watch Batman v. Superman
>not watching that shit again, decide to watch 10 Cloverfield Lane by myself
>get nachos and a hotdog
>finish them before the previews end
>enjoy kino in my empty theatre
Did I do good tonight?
>>67626289
>drink soda and popcorn
>get shot
americucks everyone
>>67626631
>watching a movie in the theatres by yourself
No, you didn't.
>drink soda in the first 15 mins.
>drink shit tasting melted ice by the end of the movie
>>67626642
>not paying off the shooter before the movie starts so he doesn't kill you
>>67626684
but it was pretty comfy tbqhwy fãm
>>67626631
Be honest; how many times did you fap to MEW?
>>67626597
I can tell what scenes are unimportant
>>67625993
>>67626074
>not pissing in the empty cup and leaving it on the floor when the movie is over
What do you think ushers get paid for?
>>67626692
Just ask for no ice, shit's already pretty cold without it.
>>67626462
>>67626755
This reminds me of pic related.
>>67626524
Even if you don't ask for butter it still has it popped onto it because it's popped in oil. Theater popcorn is nasty. I'll just not eat because I'm not a walking planet, thanks.
>>67626742
0 but desu I'm feeling a bit frisky now so I think I'll do it now :^)
>>67626766
its not cold nigga
I always finish my hotdog by the time trailers end familiarity
>>67625795
>go to theatre
>forget my falconer's glove and towel
JDIMSA
>>67626825
Guess it changes depending on the cinema.
Why do you retards pay ridiculous price for absolute horrid shit food at the theater? Can't you just eat before going to the theater? Are you dumb or just fat? Both? Can't you go 90 minutes without shoving some bullshit down your throat?
>>67626742
Fapping to her is wrong. She's an angel and should be treated as such.
>>67626854
t. Britcuck
>>67626866
I'm American and I agree with everything he said. Eating at the theater is gross and annoying, stop being fucking fat or stay home.
>>67625993
I've just started pissing in the theater. I pretend to get up and leave then go to the front row and just whip it out and piss. I once again pretend to leave then go back to my original seat.
No one knows or cares.
>>67626792
Those seats look dirty as fuck
>>67626866
I live in Los Angeles, you flyover state faggot.
>>67626929
t. Liberal cuck
>go to theatre
>showers are all broken
>can't take my pre-movie shower
is there a worse feel?
>>67625795
Why can't you fatasses go ~2 hrs without stuffing your face
>>67626954
Do they have wi Fi in Walmart now? And USB charge ports in motorized scooters?
What a time to be alive
>>67627048
I wouldn't know cause I don't go to Wal-Mart
>>67626970
>all the anvil racks are taken
>nowhere to chain up my anvil
>have to pay valet $15 plus tip to park it in the lot across the street
>>67627048
>>67627067
>mfw I guarantee I'm richer than both of you combined, live in Manhattan, and still shop at Wal-Mart
Only poor people think you stop shopping in places like that and Costco when you have money.
>>67625993
>Not running into the showers and pissing on the drain
>when the usher starts flirting but she ugly as shit
who the fuck you think you are bitch
>>67627143
Target is better tbqh
>>67627143
why the fuck would you shop at Wal-Mart if you aren't dirt poor? Their food is awful. I make next to nothing and I still refuse to buy anything remotely fresh from Wal-Mart or Target or whatever supermarket.
>>67627192
>>67627170
THIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIS! Fuck, that shit happened on Friday when I went to buy tickets for my gf and I, that bitch was ugly as fuck and my gf looked like she wanted to drop her after I told her. Ugly bitches need to stay in their lane.
>>67627170
>when Usher keeps talking during the entire fucking movie
c'mon dude
>>67627143
But there isn't a Walmart in manhattan. Are you joking with me?
>>67627192
I have an interview with the Target deli on friday, Wish me luck!
>>67627143
I'm not close anywhere close tomrich but I avoid Walmart because it's full of gross people. Don't mind paying extra 5%-10% by going to target just so I don't have to look at some 300lbs sweaty bitch on wheels, a tweaker with scabs all over his face, and a saucy nigress with 5 screaming niglets. But you go ahead and enjoy your wealth, rich guy
>>67627192
I buy my food at Whole Foods usually, go to Wal-Mart or Target to buy shit like toilet paper, what's the big deal?
>>67627205
>butthurt wal-mart shopper
don't mind me just cooking actually decent food
I'm allergic to corn and wheat so I can bring my own food to the theaters and tell them I have allergies and they let me take it in.
You guys should just pretend to have allergies and bring your own food.
>actually buying that overpriced high-fructose corn syrup shit
kek
>go to movies
>no aviary to store my pet owl
>have to bring him in the theatre with me
>won't shut up
>shits all over me
>missed like 2/3 of the kino
s m h
>>67627277
birds are fucking dumb just throw a towel over it
>>67627250
I'm just saying for food it makes no sense to shop there unless you can't afford not to or you have a retarded tongue. Non-perishables are fine so long as you don't get the store brand.
>>67627245
Bro it's Target. They hire people who barely speak any fucking English. You will get the job by default.
>>67627245
You do know people can leave the island right? I'm not saying I always shop there, but maybe once or twice a month I'll go there. There's one in North Bergen less than ten miles away from me.
>when your wife's daughter wants you to take her to see Zootopia, but she keeps trying to give you a blowjob and isn't even paying attention to the film
baka
>>67627304
My towel was still wet from drying off after my shower.
>buy candy
>throw box on the floor when I'm done
>buy large soda
>throw it on the floor when its still 1/4 full of ice
>buy popcorn
>throw half of it on the floor
>>67627354
I do this too
I also take a shit on the floor
>>67625993
bro those larges are like 64 oz how the fuck do you drink that fast
>tfw got my wallet stolen at the premiere of BvS in Mexico
>>67627371
I pull down my pants and fart bare assed into the chairs
>>67627388
That's what you get for being in Mexico.
>>67627354
Friend of a friend would always leave a huge mess at fast food and cinemas, saying "so the employees have to work for their salary"
He was also the kind of kid who was born into old money and spent it all on coke
>>67627388
>in Mexico
what did you expect
>>67627276
Just leave the ghetto and shop at a decent walmart? What's that? You've never been out of the ghetto? The bus won't take you that far?
Good.
>>67627398
I watch you from the darkness and then put my mouth on those chairs and huff them until I get doodoolung.
>>67625833
hi redit
>>67627408
>>67627415
Yeah but it was the nice part of Mexico
>>67627388
>Mexican intellectuals
>>67626577
I clean theaters and this happens all the fucking time
Stop doing it
We charge like 6 bucks for a small, why the hell are you buying it if you aren't finishing it? Not only that, it becomes a bitch to clean up later, and produces the worst smell when it mixes with all the fucktons of expensive soda no one drinks
>>67627388
Just come to the US already
>>67627423
what the hell are you even on about?
>>67627430
lel you're hilarious anon
>>67626074
Nice facebook frog.
>>67627433
You know, I had never done this before but now that you told me not to I think I'm gonna start doing it.
>>67627354
fuck you fucking animal behave like a decent person please
>>67625795
>buying soda
BAKA
I bring in candy in my pocket, and throw the little individual wrappers in every direction.
>>67627474
As long as it isn't a regal in western washington, do whatever you want
>>67627354
Doesn't everyone do this?
Sometimes my friends and I will have popcorn fights too after the movie. It's not like it's a big deal, they're sweeping right after anyway.
>>67627501
It's diet soda
>>67627501
This
I just sneak in a personal 2-liter
>>67627529
That's exactly where it is.
>finish my popcorn just in time to take my mid movie diarrhoea break
best feel
>>67627423
>decent Wal-Mart
there are literally 0 of these. if you think your Wal-Mart is nice you must have some really shitty co-ops/markets in your area.
>always drink indian tonic
>It's sour so it can't have much sugar, right?
>one day read the label
>tfw I stuff my cargo shorts and trench coat with dollar store candy and sell it in the theater during the previews for less than what the theater charges but more than I paid
>GO TO MOVIE FILM
>FUCKING PIZZA GARBAGE HULK HOGAN SHOWS UP
>HE SAY TO ME SHEIKY BABY CAN YOUA HOLD MY PLACE IN THE SNACK LINE
>I HOLD HIS PLACE BUT HE DON'T COME BACK
>TWO HOURS PASSA BY AND MY MOVIE FILM IS OVER
>I SEE THAT FUCKING SHIT JABRONI HULK HOGAN WALKING OUT OF MOVIE FILM WITH BIG LAUGH ON HIS FACE
>HE SAY SHEIKY BABY THANKS FOR HOLDING MY PLACE DURING THE MOVIE YOU STUPID FUCKING TERRORIST
>I GRAB HULK HOGAN AND FUCK HIS ASS HUMBLE (NOT GAY MISTER HOWARD STERN) AND TAKE HIS MONEY TO BUY SNACK FOOD
>FUCK THE MONDAY
>>67627557
It adds on extra work and on a busy night that can mean the employees run behind on cleans and eventually someone bitches that their theater wasn't cleaned
its a domino effect and your a douche for starting it
also fuck sweeping doing it for 8 straight hours sucks balls
>>67626594
Batman Vee Superman: Dawn of JUSTice
>>67625795
>buying food
>going to the movies
>>67627564
>Not having your gf put a bag of wine under her shirt so it looks like she's pregnant and you can have a delicious bagged merlot during the film
>>67627573
just let me know when you arrive so I can drop your hotdog on the fucking floor and give it to you
>>67627624
Yeah, but, I don't care about you and it's fun for me. So why shouldn't I do it again?
>>67625795
>buying food at the kino
top pleb
Just eat before going to the theater you fucking fat ass fatasses
>>67627672
I'll fuckin drop my hot dog in your mum m8.
>buying drinks
Literally retarded, I fucking hate sitting there wanting to take a piss for the rest of the movie. Just get something to drink after the movie I'd you're really thirsty.
>>67627662
>Not getting black-out drunk beforehand and not remembering any of the movie or how you got home
it's like you're not even trying
>>67627682
because your mama raised you better
idk I am a believer in acting like a decent person and not making shit harder for others out of a purely selfish desire for pleasure
>>67627724
>tfw I do this like three times a month
Then I watch the camrip at home so I remember what I watched. Thug life.
>>67627716
You piss too fast then, m8. I've never had this problem
>>67627716
How does it feel to have a bladder like a fucking woman?
>>67627799
I'd fucking ravage that (if I didn't have a 6" pencil dick)
>>67627799
She's a disgusting prostitute that has naked pictures all over the internet. A lewd whore with a glass eye. A strumpet of epic proportions.
Thank god here in theaters food is forbidden god bless europe
>>67626929
>I live in Los Angeles
We'll there's your problem right there. No wonder you're so salty.
>>67625993
>this happened to me but during watchmen
>>67625993
if you piss before going inside you wont have to piss during the movie. works every time.
you're welcome.
>Trailers start playing
>Nobody is eating anything, all muttering quietly about the trailers
>Theater reminder to silence your cell phone starts playing
>Nobody is eating, still chatting
>Logos for the various studios and production companies start appearing
>people still murmuring, but not eating
>First scene/diologue of the movie starts,
>Everybody starts opening their candy, slurping on soda, chewing and smacking their lips, grunting, burping, coughing.
Literally every damn time, I keep telling myself to tell everyone in the theater to open their candy before the move starts but I don't want to be shot.
>>67627557
>popcorn fights
Do you guys pull your pants down and tounge each others assholes too?
>>67627998
A more realistic scenario is that everyone either laughs at you or stares at you like the autist you probably are.
>>67628052
No, we wouldn't want to keep your mother from earning that five dollars for doing it for us.
>>67627998
>in the movies
>some guy dressed in a costume starts screaming when to eat my food
>toss popcorn at him until he leaves
>>67625795
These threads are now just
>LOOK AT ME LOOK AT ME !! I CAN ALSO MAKE A FUNNY !
>I CAN SAY SOMETHING REALLY RANDUM AND FUNNY LOOK AT MEEE!!!
>>67628215
Back in my day we used to bully hotheads like you until you turned gay
>>67628215
Don't forget the crying faggots like you. You're also an integral part of these threads you fucking pussy.
Does anyone else wear sandals into the theatre and then walk barefoot once you're there? I know the floor is usually sticky but I wash them out in the lavatory afterwards.
>>67628215
Very insightful commentary. I'm glad you post here.
>>67628308
*tips
>>67627433
because a large is like 50 cents more and muh value
>>67625993
Happened to me during The Martian. Except it was a 20oz coke, 1L water bottle, and two long island iced teas. I'm surprised something didn't burst it hurt so fucking bad.
>>67627430
Not anymore
>>67628537
why drink so much?
>bar next door to kinoteque
Bad combo fämälämäs
>>67627429
Sup my fellow redit bruv. Why u pretending to be a /tv/ anon? The fellas back home miss ya
>>67627998
>Everybody starts opening their candy, slurping on soda, chewing and smacking their lips, grunting, burping, coughing.
holy fuck triggered
>Sit down in the theatre
>Some little brown bastard behind me starts pulling on my payot
>Another one pulls off my yarmulke and throws it like a frisbee
>They think this is the most hilarious thing ever
Gaza must burn.
>watch Hateful Eight
>movie over, ending is white guy and black guy working together to kill bad guys
>walking out of the theatre
>black couple across from me
>lock eyes with the black guy
>we have an unspoken mutual understanding and nod toward one another
The fuck was that all about? Pretty sure there is a Seinfeld skit just like that too
>>67625993
why not just piss in your empty cup? I do if not many people around.
>>67627221
Too bad it never happened. Only your last sentence speaks any truth.
>>67629109
There is a bar INSIDE my theatre that serves beer and liquor. Right next to the concession too. Also, strangely I'm an Americunt in the deep south. Explain that one
>>67629458
Californiafag?
>>67629480
Florida famalamadingdong
Maybe you could control yourself, fatty.
>>67629404
Maybe he just wanted a blowjob.
At the the Cobb at the mall there's like 20 something theaters and maybe 3 teenagers working there that clearly don't give a fuck. Myself and my neighbor roll in without really trying to conceal the litre bottles of liquor we have and when one movie is over we just keep hopping along to another one till we get sick of being there or need to get more booze. Anyone else do that or are the movies usually policed in other areas?
>>67629404
>the black guys gf was your wife
And now it makes sense!
>>67629971
I'm white, I don't behave like that.
>>67629404
>Black dude locks eyes with you after watching a scene where a black man violently mouth rapes a white man
Yeah, you two had a "mutual understanding" alright.
>Sneak box of croutons into theatre
>Lob them at the screen once every half hour
>Crunch loudly
>Bottle of piss rolls into the back of my foot
>Stole some guy's wallet
All in all BvS was ebin fellas
>Eating cheese nachos and a lollipop
>Get home
>Take a shit but bad stomach
>Hurts like hell
It doesnt help that my girlfriend remembers me everytime I eat something like nachos so everyone can hear.
>>67630821
You got #pissbombed brah.
>>67625795
>Not just taking a bottle of water.
So many fatsos here.
>>67630959
>Not just doing heroin in the bathroom
You're the fatty here.
>>67631088
I did cocaine in the bathroom before a movie once.
>>67631139
I do cocaine in the bathroom off the baby changing table pretty much every single time I go to the movies. I thought my heart was going to explode during John Wick.
>tfw dont know whats real anymore and what isnt
>>67625833
>wife's son
this meme has to die
>>67631270
Mah nigga, those were the days.
>>67631490
As does my wife's son. Eleven years old and he already pushes me around and makes me buy grape soda for him and all of his friends.
>>67627624
If people didn't make a mess then you'd be out of a job.
>>67625993
>not bringing you're piss balloon and throwing it at the noisy teens two rows down who keep making out
>>67625795
You must be really, really fat.
Also: why do you lack self-control?
>>67631539
>>67625993
>buy huge Cola soda
>learned that it doesn't go well on empty stomach
>stomach starts hurting, can''t hold in piss anymore
>end up going to piss 3 times during the whole movie
>third time fag in first row asks why did I even bother coming
Didn't buy soda prior to movie ever since
>>67632079
Sounds like you memed yourself into a stomach ache, friender
>>67631490
agreed
>That guy who shoots spitwads into the greasy hair of neckbeards at capeshit movies and then laughs at them with his gf because they're there alone
I'm that guy.
>Be dutch me
>Go to theater with some tea in me so I don't get thirsty
>Buy a desperado during the break
>Not have to go to the bathroom at all because I actually have a good bladder
>>67632298
it's not like they have a bad bladder rather than early symptoms of diabetes
>Go to the movies
>Buy a ticket so I can walk in to use the bathroom
>Poo in the toilet, no flush
>Leave without washing my hands
Every time
>go to the theater to see Army Dog
>bring my younger sister along, so she can pretend to be my girlfriend because of the no-singles policy
>I hand the cashier my giftcard and she spins the wheel of fortune
>we end up getting wine and grilled vegetables, not bad
>the movie starts
>I like the visuals and the general ahmosphere of the film
>but then, the brutal ten minute rape scene comes up, and just when this happens, the Mimichorn goes off
>men are wrestling with their girlfriends and wives, who are pretending to resist while their men tear of their pants
>me and my sister are feeling pretty awkward at this point, and people are starting to notice our violation of the theater etiquete
>"Fight me", I urge my sister, as I hurl her on the floor
>she's screaming and kicking me, giving a very good performance
>however, her feeble body is no match for my physiqye chiseled by tons and tons of iron and I easily overpower her
>I rip of her pants and plunge my manhood into her unbismirched vulva
>I ejaculate like Mount Vesuvius
>finally the Mimichorn goes off again, and the couples return to their seats
>my sister is crying
>when the movie ends, we are rewarded with the trophy for the best act
>the overseer was very pleased, and he personally shakes both our hands when he gives us the trophy on the door
>the movie was 9.5/10, I'd rate it kino
![Feels-Good-Man-Frog-02[1].png](https://i.imgur.com/A8xCkax.png "Feels-Good-Man-Frog-02[1].png")
>Go to small dutch theater
>Seats are comfy as heck
>It's never full
>Unless you're on opening weekend of deadpool or some shit nobody's talking/clapping/laughing
>People make sure to be quiet enough when eating/opening shit up
>Buy beer in the break
>>67627388
At least the cartel didn't steal your head
>>67627997
>>67627997
unless you have diabetes like me :( need to piss after a sip
I cant go to the theater anymore, everyone clanking on those fucking anvils the whole time just drives me crazy. It's impossible to immerse myself with the nonstop sounds of forging going on
>>67632562
>live in a small city of a slav third-world country
>only one good cinema in the city, but the image quality is top notch (built three years ago)
>tickets are $2 on opening days, $1.5 on any other day, $1 for students
>mostly empty on workdays, only had 4 or 5 people during on TFA opening day
>no one claps or acting loud because eastern europeans are insecure and quiet
>>67632509
Lel.
>only one cinema that airs non-dubbed films
>it has shitty seats and you have to climb a buncha stairs from the confession
>they have few rooms so only the most mainstream films are shown there
>popcorn "bag"
huh?
>>67632654
>$1 eastern euro money
so like 25 cents american?
how does theatre even make money?
I work in a Sushi restaurant and I get to bring a lot of it after work, late-night Cinema with sushi and beer is the best cinema food.
Just remember to bring gloves or your hands will stink of tuna/white fish though, salmon is fine.
>>67625993
>there are people in this thread RIGHT NOW who don't check runpee before going to see a kinoflick
>>67634637
>your hands will stink of tuna/white fish though
they do anyway since I finger banged your mom
>>67626642
Fuck off back to /brit/
>>67627623
Underrated/10
>>67629404
>Pretty sure there is a Seinfeld skit just like that too
The one about the cookie.
>>67634637
why don't you use chopsticks bub
>>67634637
>Eating sushi while watching movies.
I thought I was the only one who did this. It's fantastic, especially with older movies.
>walk into the movie theatre
>my wife's husband gave me extra pocket money this week so decide to splurge on the Deluxe Package
>take my seat in the big chair and raise it a little
>the theatre barber wraps a sheet around me and asks what kind of hair cut I want
>"t-two at the sides and a one at the back, please"
>he's partially deaf and asks me to repeat myself
>"YOU'LL HAVE TO SPEAK UP, SONNY"
>I don't think he heard me right but I don't care
>the theatre is starting to get dark and I just wish he'd hurry up
>the lobster bisque I ordered is starting to seep into the protective sheet
>the first trailer appears on the screen and the loudness startles him, making him shave off a huge clump of hair at the back
"Hey, watch it!"
>"you better settle down there, kiddo"
>when he's done he lifts up a mirror to show what my hair looks like
>it's fucking terrible
>tip him 20 dollars and he starts clapping
>whispers in my ear that I've been a good boy
>reaches inside his pocket and asks if I would like a lollipop
>just want him to go away
>"y-yes"
>"what?"
>"yes please, s-sir"
>"speak up, sonny"
>YES I WOULD LIKE A FUCKING LOLLIPOP
>everybody turns and starts to stare
>the Theatre Shooter spots me and starts galloping towards me from a distance
>oh fuck
>fall out of my chair and run out of the building
>I look over my shoulder to see he's running after me
>gain a little ground because he's putting on his police uniform
>he catches up to me anyway and pins me to the ground
>"you're ass is grass, dirtbag"
>wife comes to pick me up from the police station
>they get to talking
>he's now her bull
>and my black inmate
>have to sit there and watch them spit roast her right there in the cell
THAT'S THE FIFTH FUCKING TIME, I'M SICK OF IT
>>67627048
>LA county scum ridiculing anyone
lol
>>67625795
I usually leave some at the bottom to drop on the floor after the movie. I also sometimes mix it with Coke.
>nothing to do on a friday evening
>buy single ticket to movie
>have some time before it starts
>go to store and load a bag full of loose candy
>end up weighing it at 1kg
>go to the cashier, a tiny asian lady
>when she sees my bag of candy she gets a near frightened look in her eyes and stammers "are.. you're not gonna eat all of that by yourself.. are you..?"
>start to sweat internally
>have to make sure not to look like a fatass infront of this tiny asian cashier, quick think up some story!
>came up with something along the following
>"n-no, I promised a friend to pick up some candy for his party since everybody has to bring something so I buy candy because it's good to put sweet stuff into your mouth when you're drinking because then you will get more energy to drink and have a good time, you know ahahhaheheeh..."
>she just stares at me, nods and says "please put your credit card in the machine.."
>"haha, oopsy"
>insufficient funds
>"hohh, oh no. I guess I won't be bringing the candy then :D:D" and walk away
>take the bus home
>midway home remember that I was supposed to go see a movie
>>67625795
>go to mall
>buy tickets
>have dinner with friends, talking and having a laugh
>go see the movie when its time
>walk 30 minutes to the pub discussing the movie along the way
>drink some beer while each person decides when its their time to go home
Well, thats what I used to do anyways, now I just pirate movies and watch them alone in my small apartment, because all my friends moved on.
>>67626792
>not enjoying some cucumbers after eating some spicy crab legs
>>67632509
holy shit
>>67637707
>bring girl to the movies for first date
>forgot to reserve our Heely's in advance
>can't view the movie from the theater's Heely race track
>mfw no second date
>>67626766
My theater charges you 50cents more for no ice
>go to the movies to see Zootopia
>feel a bit weird since I'm going alone and it's a kid's movie, but it's been out for a while so whatever
>sitting in the theater by myself away from others
>in the middle of the previews a guy walks in with a flashlight
>starts telling people that its time for "Lap Inspection"
>he walks past a few families then spies me sitting by myself
>"Let's get a look at that lap"
>he walks over and shines the flashlight on me
>he is small, pale and very sweaty. he smells like old dairy
>"Wow, that is looking real good"
>He literally turns and sits down in my lap facing the movie screen
>too nervous to tell him to leave so I sit and watch over his bald head
>halfway through the movie he leaves, but not before pressing an envelope into my hand
>after the movie I open the envelope in the lobby. inside is a silver medal
>go to customer service to complain about lap inspector
>they tell me that Regal Cinemas only inspects bags and avians and does not use a Lap Inspector
>theater employees are running throughout the theater, panicking, screaming into walkie-talkies
>it is too late. several families are already missing
I wonder who got the gold medal
>>67627725
What's the point in treating others nice if I don't get anything out of it? Do I get a cookie? Lmao who gives a fuck, other humans are like cattle if you ask me, good riddance to em.
>>67635190
Holy fuck
>buy large popcorn
>sit at the back
>throw it at people throughout the moviejk
>not having dinner after the movie
>eating food at the theatre
Fucking americans.
Can't you spend 2 hours without stuffing your mouth with garbage?
>>67632509
>>I ejaculate like Mount Vesuvius
kek
>>67632168
Yep, it fucking sucked, at least I saw the movie again with my dad few days later
>>67638504
>not having dinner during the movie
Why waste time when you can combine the activities?
>watching movie
>niggers in the front keeps spoiling the movie
>loud and obnoxious
>people start complaining
>security comes in and throws them out
>they apologies for the trouble and gives everyone a full refund
>there are literally people who can't hold their piss for 4 hours
i've trained my bladder for this since i first watched cinema at age 6
>go to watch movie
>some kind of slasher horror movie
>audibly laugh when characters get tortured to death
i can't be the only one
>go to theater
>total for food comes up to $18
>hand the bar boy two fives and tell him to keep half
Works every time, those fuckers don't make enough to forego bribes.
>>67639712
Same fàm
>>67626376
That's because you are either fat or a teenager. Healthy people get sick when they eat shit food
>wake up
>cereal box isnt working properly
>cant get the bluetooth to connect to it
>live close to the cinema so whatever
>thankfully they are showing the news + weather report right now
>buy deep fried cornflakes and deep fried milk
>go sit down so that I can catch my morning routine
>actually wake up
>realise it was a dream
>I am actually a falcon with crab legs and my penis is being inspected in the showers
>it was a dream to escape the trauma of what is happening
>after inspection NSP shoots me from the watchtower for 'insubordination and un american activities'
>>67626376
large amounts of grease and sugar don't bode well for the average non obese human's digestive tract usually
>watchtower guards shines his light on me while I'm in line for the ketchup dispenser
Do they seriously still have to do this? All it does is unnerve my pet seagull
>>67627830
I almost never see actual pencil dicks, can you show me yours?
>>67627388
>Mexico
There's your problem.
>>67640479
>healthy people have shitty immune systems
>puerto ricans actually believe this
>>67632654
Which country is this?
>>67637501
kek
>>67627847
this desu. fuck this gay shit why woould anyone eat or drink unless its water
What's the best way to sneak alcohol into the theater
Sometimes I take the bag of popcorn home to finish over the next day or two. It's so greasy and puts a strain on my stomach. Besides, I kind of like the taste of stale one day old popcorn. Don't know why.
>all these weak bladders
