I haven't seen Batman v Superman yet.
Describe the exact plot of the movie, using only a sentence at a time. Please post in order, so I don't get confused.
Superman dies
It's urine not tea
Batman and superman fight one another then team up to fight doomsday, also wonder woman shows up
GRANNY'S PEACH TEA VS LEX LUTHOR'S URINE
>>67578475
This is a good one.
>>67578394
he gets better
>>67578375
Snyder proves yet again all he's good at making is trailer footage.
>>67578475
I thought they'dhidden the bombs in leador something
but instead they just made superman so utterly incompetent he doesn't give the room a cursory glance
Felt like a fever dream
>>67578578
To be fair, this movie (along with Man of Steel) just proved to me that Snyder would be a fucking perfect director for a live action Dragon Ball Z movie
>>67578375
batman doing batman things
superman doing zach snyder superman things (i.e. not saving shit)
lex luthor being an austistic sperg
shots of mysterious woman (wonder woman) batfleck trying to hit it
more boring scenes with people I don't care about
batman doing batman shit (I liked these parts)
dream sequences one teasing justice league movie basically with various "clever" teases of the rest of the justice league
lex luthor being more austistic giving senator pee jar
blowing shit up
batman and superman meet finally
more stupid shit
lex luthor thinks it would be a good idea to go into superman ship and then take dead zod body combine with blood and make doomsday (aka cgi monster #24313414)
lex kindnaps supes mom and then makes supe fight batman
batman nearly wins (surprise!)
stopped because both their mom's names are Martha
then batman saves supes mom by murdering half the kindnappers
also batman murders people throughout the movie, trademark snyder
then bat, supe and wonder woman (shows up in suit) fight cgi monster #3414513414 (doomsday)
for some reason loius gets rid of krypton weapon then batman goes back to gotham to get it
then superman for some reason sacrifices himeslf for no reason wonder woman could have easily done this to kill doomsday
then more pointless scenes setting up the dc cinematic univese in the most boring way possible, shots of caskets and people mourning
also lex is scene in prison shaved bald and batman comes to say hi and then he starts humming some autistic tune
they cut out a integral scene that made sense to fit in more justice league and other sneak peaks that had nothing to do with the overall story ofthe movie
all wrapped up in horrible editing
fuck this movie
>>67578375
Batman floats
>>67578712
He's Michael Bay with a better soundtrack and a shitty filter over EVERYTHING.
>>67578813
>snyder
>good soundtracks
that's funny, anon.
>>67578375
close ups of Ben's face.
>>67578375
Alopecia.
anyone else in their head editing this movie in the way you thought would make it better. I might seriously consider making a fan edit for fun when it hits the torrent sites.
Lex Luthor's theme and Jesse Eisenberg's performance were great.
Deleted scene explains the ending of the movie better: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s-MUzvASr8s
Ben Affleck was great.
Movie was eh, 6/10. It had some really shit parts, but also had some highs.
Here's the theme I am talking about: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h3N-O5BCZSM
>>67578375
Superman fights black shrek
>>67579015
I said better, not good.
Think of one characteristic of the main superheroes in this film
>Batman has a no kill code
Literally see Batman murdering left and right, also shooting with guns
>Superman is a blue boy scout
Most of the film is Superman angsting because there is nothing more interesting he can do and the whole movie has the tone of a funeral march
>Lex Luthor is a narscisistic billionare
Replaced by the joker, still, Luthor was one of the only remotely interesting things in the movie, but they fail to clearify WHY he hates Superman
The best part of the movie is Batman doing Batmany stuff and Wonder Woman
>that scene with her legs spread and her smiling after getting punched
>dick achieved diamond status
>>67579946
I really like this review. It's short, simple, and despite the fact I disagree with it, I think you get your point across better then most scalding critic reviews I've seen, IE I get where you are coming from more.
REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE FUCK THIS MOVIE REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
>>67579946
this just makes me hate the movie more, they keep in tons of pointless scenes but cut out this scene? Fuck you Zach Snyder and fuck you WB.
>>67578813
The Transformers films have top-tier soundtracks m8 what are you on?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4H0JDomv8ac
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WEL5atUKRZQ&list=PLFA8BC10FB73B2477
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TAYV8X-RX64&list=PLFA8BC10FB73B2477&index=2
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FICrZ0sDT3I&index=3&list=PLFA8BC10FB73B2477
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=87Ji4Taw3aE&list=PLFA8BC10FB73B2477&index=6
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v8foTMjFqIk&index=7&list=PLFA8BC10FB73B2477
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wqxMTgp7rYY&index=11&list=PLFA8BC10FB73B2477
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O9pYjnh3a08&index=17&list=PLFA8BC10FB73B2477
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hDFns0LA7O0&index=10&list=PLFA8BC10FB73B2477
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O4gngu-7fDY&index=23&list=PLFA8BC10FB73B2477
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gHh-BS37vuw&list=PLFA8BC10FB73B2477&index=25
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DSFGq-xJxVM&index=34&list=PLFA8BC10FB73B2477
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xIRazHb0olk&index=35&list=PLFA8BC10FB73B2477
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X7MRa1lemTI&index=36&list=PLFA8BC10FB73B2477
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8ZOfTPcZyqk&index=41&list=PLFA8BC10FB73B2477
>>67578375
>movie opens with the fight against zombie zod
>*record scratch*
>you are probably wondering how we got here
>flashback to 9/11 from batman perspective
>1 hour of politics
>lex pisses in jar
>1 hour of fight scenes
>and who are you...
no post credit scene but you will wait anyways
>>67578375
-Flashback to the end of MoS from Bruce's perspective, he's running through downtown saving people while Superman has his DBZ fight.
-Current day, Lois and Jimmy are interviewing some terrorists, shit goes south, terrorists guards turn on them and run and Superman comes out of nowhere and destroys the rest of them to save Lois.
-Lex gets his hands on a ton of Kryptonite
-Everyone bitches about the ethics of Superman, Superman gets called to a hearing in DC
-Bruce takes down some criminals
-Clark whines about the eithics of Batman being Batman
-Senator wont let Lex import his Kryptonite
-Bruce has a vigilante mid life crisis and buys a sports car in the form of wanting to take down Superman and saving da world, goes on the hunt for Lex's Kryptonite.
-Bruce goes to a party at Lex's house to steal info, meets Clark who is there on reporting business, Wonder Woman steals Bruce's info
-Lex gets access to Zods ship and Zod
-Bruce gets the info from somewhere else, sets out to intercept Lex's Kryptonite but gets stopped by Superman and told to cut that shit out
-Superman goes to DC for his hearing, Lex blows the place up
-Superman mopes around at his moms house
-WW sends the USB she stole from Bruce back to him cause she cant get into it, Bruce gets in and sends her the info
-Treated to a 5 minute JL promo
-Lex steals Clark's mom and :Lois
-Batman steals the Kryptonite and calls Superman out for a showdown
-Lex pushes Lois off a building to lure Superman, tells him that he has an hour to kill Batman or else his mom will die
- Batman beats Superman's ass, as he's about to deliver the finishing blow they discover that their moms both share the same name and become bffs instantly
-Batman saves Superman's mom, Superman goes to kill Lex
-Lex unleashes Doomsday
-Doomsday wrecks everyone's shit
-Wonder Woman shows up
-Doomsday wrecks everyone's shit
-Instead of handing it to WW, Superman uses Batman's Kryptonite spear to stab Doomsday at the cost of his own life
>>67580990
>not even posting any prime '90s Michael Based
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u6bTGzXREzQ
Batman does stuff; Superman is mopey; Lex is autism; a senator is told to drink pee; Doomsday is boring; the fights are frequent enough and too slow; Wonder Jew looks like terrible; Superman dies; Batman wants to summon the Avengers; the end.
>>67578375
Luthor tricks them into hating each other, they realize it, he has plan a B which is a kryptonian monster.
>>67578578
it's a pleb filter so people like you can get exposed