>Go to the cinema.
>As I'm waiting in line for the cinema carvery some asshole walking back to his aisle with a tray full of gravy spills it all down my leg.
>Burns like fuck and I have to go to the cinema doctor for some cream that smells really strong.
>Go back to the cinema and I missed the first half hour of the movie.
>Everyone looks weird at me because I'm smelling of strong chemicals and they're trying to eat their roast dinners.
Worst experience of my cinema going career.
If you eat meat with sauce or gravy you're literally an animal
>>67307301
Eating dry meat is literally what animals do you freak. I'm vegetarian and even I'll admit that. Get some sauce and some taste.
>>67307301
yeah every animal I've seen literally won't touch their meat unless there's some kind of sauce or gravy on it
>>67307336
>>67307340
Lmao this is what degenerate shit tasters actually believe. Any sort of condiments on a well cooked meat ruins the flavour
>>67307281
that's what you get for not having access to the vip area
>>67307281
You should consider talking with your manager, maybe he can transfer you to another cinema.
>>67307568
I hear they serve crab legs there.
i dropped my small theater meal tonight. it was pretty embarassing
>>67307301
>he doesn't know the glory of munching down on an early evening HSP
Astaghfirullah.
>>67307625
>Get kicked out by cinema police for smuggling burgers in via my pockets.
They never found the buns tho :^)
>>67307301
>I don't understand what gravy is
You take all the flavorful parts of the meat, and concentrate them to not only improve the meat, but also all the other shit on your plate that tastes better when it's drenched in meat juice.
I feel bad for anyone who doesn't have the occasional roast. It's the highlight of my week.
>Attend the Kinema to watch some primo kino
>Enter into the testing grounds
>Elect the mace as my weapon
>Murder my way to the final round of the tournament
>Some fuckold brought a fucking gun
>Get shot
>Never get to see The Dark Knight Rises
>>67307802
Americans don't understand what gravy is. They buy canned gravy and throw out their drippings.
Yes, americans are actually that retarded.
>>67308002
Americans are the only good cooks you cuck.
>>67308049
>American chocolate
lmao
>>67308242
American confectionery is absolute shit tier. The chocolate just tastes off
>go to a breakfast session
>ask for eggs over easy
>get sunny side up
>whatever
>bacon isn't crispy enough
>coffee is bitter
>fuck this
>call waitress over
>she apologises and i get a complimentary cinema massage
>>67308383
Did it finish with a happy ending?
>>67308383
my gf gives me a cinema massage on her own :^)
>go to a random flick
>buy sausage roll platter from the candy bar
>realize it's an abo film noir
>>67307336
>dry meat
If it's a pet eating tinned food then it has gravy on it, if it's a wild animal then it's eating bloody meat.
Did you even think about that for one second you fucking mongoloid?
Nigga where the fuck were you? At some Gold class session or some shit?
What the fuck are you doing in that anyway? You're going there to watch a fucking movie not to dine.
>>67309117
shoo shoo nigger, we have better things to discuss than the rundown crackhouses you call 'cinemas'
>>67309136
Do you americucks seriously have this shit sold and served to you at the cinema? No wonder you're all fat fucks, you bring your dinner everywhere with you.
>>67309162
Carvery Cinemas are a big thing in England you stupid mong. Americans tend to have Steakhouse kinos instead.
>>67309205
>Carvery Cinemas are a big thing in England
No wonder so many Brits are fat fucks too lmao. Eat your dinner else where you disgusting pigs, people are trying to enjoy a movie.
>>67308425
>Go to the cinema with the wife
>She gets an inhouse masseuse
>asks for the same one every time we go
everytime I go to a carvery kino my falcon steals steals my corn on the cob, what do bros?
>>67309117
What the fuck are you talking about? I bet you don't even have cinema crane operators in your shitty cinema.
>>67309298
Here in Australia, our normal theaters only offer candy, popcorn, ice-cream and drinks. There are separate theaters that are $40 a ticket and offer meals and wines.
i know a lot of you are joking, but AMC does actually have dine in theaters. last time i got a royal with cheese (no joke) and a milkshake.
>watching particularly long movie
>dessert tray is brought around half way through
Why don't the co-ordinate this so I can have my hot fudge gateau right as the movie is coming to an end?
>>67309343
A royal with cheese? What are you, in Amsterdam or something?? xDD get it? it's apulp fictionreference
>>67309292
Have the cinema chaplain hold him I'm the falcon queue
>In cinema
>Watching Dark Knight Rises
>Some chucklefuck in an Applejack shirt and fedora is on his fucking LAPTOP in the middle of the movie.
>Has like 8 Reddit tabs open
>Suddenly a rubber bullet hits his screen and breaks it
>Everyone laughs
>Look up and see the cinema sniper on the balcony trying not to laugh
>Give him a thumbs up
was it one of you
>go to see zootopia
>bring my stuffed rabbit to circumvent the NSP
>the eels are loose again today
>eel goes up the leg of my sweatpants
>just for a joke i tuck the leg of my pants in trapping the eel
>joke goes south after the eel makes a nest around my weiner area
>try to ignore it and work on my welding
>can barely see the screen through my welding mask
>guy behind me gets arc-eye
>lol get fucked normie
>theatre DJ comes down the aisle to yell at me
>at that moment the eel decides to have a fiesta
>getting yelled at and having a eel going ape shit in my pants
>start laughing because it tickles
>DJ is visibly upset
>minces away at a top rate of speed
>look down and see i accidentally welded the wrong bits of my halloween robot costume
zootopia was a light 6
>go to an afternoon screening of the latest kino
>use the intermission break to visit the gentleman's room
>original landowner of Australia is bathroom attendant
>he gives me a complimentary penis shake after I finish my business
>a drop spills on my tuxedo pant
>angrily tip him my last $100 note
>rush over to the cinema laundromat
>they take my pants to clean and lend me a pair of poor quality Vietnamese made tuxedo pants with noticeable seams on the inner thigh and no satin inlay
>finish watching the film and go back to get my pants
>the cleaning bill is $100
>cinema sniper will shoot whoever you want if you tip him enough
>tip him 50 cents, order him to kill the guy who always farts
>10 minutes into the movie
>really quiet part
>100 decibel fart resounds throughout the theatre
>sniper shoots the farter dead
>everyone claps
>one guy stands up and salutes the screen
>fart gas makes its way around
>one kid near the middle vomits and dies on the spot
>the cinema plastics manufacturer makes his way down the aisle
>walks right over the busted nerve gas pipeline
>dies
>i skedaddle
>sniper is fucking vanished
>wife's boss invites us over for sunday dinner and a Ken Loach film
>doesn't make extra yorkshire puds with jam for supper
>cinema owlery is too close to cinema industrial power plant
>sound travels over and it upsets the owls
>my owl is losing feathers due to stress
time to find a better cinema i guess
>>67307281
I honestly only come to this board for the memes. I don't even watch television and film.
>Go to cinema
>Dentist keeps trying to make conversation
>I can't speak anyway because his fingers are in my mouth
>Everyone looks down and shushes us
Why the fuck do they do this??
