This absolute cunt just decided to put your worthless shitstained ass in Hufflepuff, for seemingly no reason at all. Just because he felt like it.
How do you respond?
HoneyBadgerdontgiveashit
>>67300847
Is that your WiFi password?
i don't have time for this you fukin hat. Fuck off.
Be alpha, dominate Hufflepuff bitches.
Acceptance, because honestly I deserve to be put in hufflepuff
>>67300814
I would pull the same shut harry did and say not hufflepuff, not hufflepuff, although weren't they actually pretty chill. Sure all the babes were in Gryffindor, slytherin and ravenclaw.
The hat takes your choice into cinsideration
>get put in slytherin
>get bullied for next 7 years
Th-thanks hat
>>67301276
How do we even know Hufflepuff is bad? I imagine it's just like the other houses.
If I was an American I'd probably shoot up the school as revenge.
>>67300814
I'd be glad. They never expect shit from this house. All that Hufflepuffs do is smoke weed.
I don't even want to go to this gay wizzard school. Magic is for fags. Take me home.
probably fuckin' kill myself since now i'm in one of the dullest franchises in the history of movie franchises Each episode following the boy wizard and his pals from Hogwarts Academy as they fight assorted villains has been indistinguishable from the others. Aside from the gloomy imagery, the seriesüf only consistency has been its lack of excitement and ineffective use of special effects, all to make magic unmagical, to make action seem inert.
Perhaps the die was cast when Rowling vetoed the idea of Spielberg directing the series; she made sure the series would never be mistaken for a work of art that meant anything to anybody? just ridiculously profitable cross-promotion for her books. The Harry Potter series might be anti-Christian (or not), but itüfs certainly the anti-James Bond series in its refusal of wonder, beauty and excitement. No one wants to face that fact. Now, thankfully, they no longer have to.
>a-at least the books are g-g-good though
"No!" I have shout
The writing is dreadful; the book was terrible. As I read, I noticed that every time a character went for a walk, the author wrote instead that the character "stretched his legs."
I began marking on the back of an envelope every time that phrase was repeated. I stopped only after I had marked the envelope several dozen times. I was incredulous. Rowling's mind is so governed by cliches and dead metaphors that she has no other style of writing. Later I read a lavish, loving review of Harry Potter by the same Stephen King. He wrote something to the effect of, "If these kids are reading Harry Potter at 11 or 12, then when they get older they will go on to read Stephen King." And he was quite right. He was not being ironic. When you read "Harry Potter" you are, in fact, trained to read Stephen King
Accept it, coast through that shit. No one gives a fuck in Hufflepuff. Fuck bitches, cast spells. Party every fucking night.
>>67301332
thx 4 chuckle m80
>>67301330
it's just mediocre
they like plants and stuff, not going on adventures or murdering people or being smart
that said I would love hufflepuff because I'd become a plant expert and live underwater off grindylow grass
Gorge myself on food from the kitchen and live up to the stereotype.
Take your role-playing back to /tg/ or /r9k/ you hamplet /lit/ rejects
whats the spell for making girls wet again?
thanks mr hat, im gonna have so so much much sex, so much sex
>>67300814
Go on a raping rampage and sexually assault every freshman girl until they subdue me.
>>67300814
Honestly? I'd pull my pants down and take a big steaming dump on the floor. I'd then point as said dump, and say "I drive".
hey buddy i think you got the wrong house
slytherin´s two tables down
>>67301385
So they're basically just boring but chill? That sounds alright.
>>67301385
>learn about plants
>become skilled at making potions
>get gf at last
>>67301440
>Argentina
>White
>>67300814
shit in hat
light hat on fire
Kino
>>67301305
Slytherin are very loyal to their own, they're the kind of guys that would bully the hell out of anyone who wasn't Slytherin but would beat the shit out of anyone who bullied or hurt a fellow Slytherin
>>67300814
I'd sheepishly harbor fantasies of being confident enough to make my own decisions in life but truly desire being ignored and left to my own petty desires. I would hope other Hufflepuffs would be the same, then maybe I could get laid before graduation.
>>67301544
>kino
Please learn about art before you make posts about art, /v/ graduate
>>67300814
Smoke weed every day and bang qt Hufflepuff bitches at the magic ragers those guys probably throw three times a week.
Thabk you hat
>>67300814
Canonically the simple fact that you didn't want to be a Hufflepuff would be enough to convince the hat to put you in a different house, that was literally the only reason Harry wasn't put in Slytherin
>>67301569
I always imagined Slytherin to be the IRL Eton. Full of wankers from rich senpaitachi.
Slytherin
>assholes and edgelords
>women are total cunts
Ravenclaw
>dorks and weirdos
>woman are total prudes
Griffindor
>jocks and straightedges
>women are total stacys
Hufflepuff
>chills guy and bros
>women are totally dtf
what house would trump be sorted to?
>>67301525
Whiter than most of the people posting in this thread and even board now. Seriously go look at me message from this place on twitter
>>67301593
>Le epic v meme
>frank
>Pompeii
>inherent vice
>blackhat
>springbreakers
Shitposting to the max doesmt help
>>67301656
Just admit it /tv/, he's a Slytherin.
>>67301683
Armond is the champion of kino you vile piece of /v/ shit
>>67301656
GRIFFINDOR
MAGA
>>67301593
Why is it so easy to spot the pretentious faggots? Because like Vegans and Atheists they always have to ram their opinions down your throat in the most annoying way possible.
>>67300814
"okay"
then I'd whack it in the common room all day
>>67301723
Ahahahahah 'No', and once again wrong with the accusations
>>67301655
this.
remember cedric diggerman? dude was max chill, cool and smart. until his dad forced him to enter the triwizard tourney and got his shit rocked
rip
>>67301647
Nah, Malfoy is the only rich Slytherin, other Slytherins like Crabbe, Goyle, Bulstrode and Snape were all from poor families, Slytherin is more like a loyal but xenophobic gang like the gangs in The Outsiders or Montague and Capulet in Romeo and Juliet
On a related note Malfoy is way richer than you probably realise, Rowling said in an interview that his father's wealth would be close to 1 billion US dollars
>le 'Hufflepuff is bad' meme
Fuck outta here. Griffindor is normies and chads, Ravenclaw is fedoras whith superiority complexes, Slytherin is edgelords who listen to Linkin Park.
Real niggas chill in Hufflepuff.
>>67301655
She was a little hotty back then. What happened?
>>67301719
One of the bravest men I ever knew was Slytherin
>>67301764
You're joking right
You push the kino yet you don't understand it? When did you pick up kino kid, after pest got you some likes on /v/?
The fucking gall of you meme tourists I swear
>>67301766
Cormac was written by JK to be the perfect example of the negative Griffindor stereotypes: arrogant, overly competitive, short sighted, crass, impulsive; but let's be honest, highschool is full of these types, and they'd fill but Griffindor fast.
>>67301766
>The feels where Cedric dies because Harry saves him like a bro
>all Slytherins are evil
>there are children who are inherently evil
Bravo, JK! Such realistic worldbuilding!
>>67301780
>Rowling said in an interview that his father's wealth would be close to 1 billion US dollars
That's it? They're one of the richest families in the world.
>>67301656
Probably Griffindor, Bernie would be a Ravenclaw and pretty much every other candidate would be Slytherin
>>67300814
demand to be put in slytherin and then throw him in the trash
>>67300814
>Literally zero expectations in either academics or athletics
>Everyone chill af
>Campus party house at a school for wizards
This was the best possible scenario.
>>67300814
>A Slytharin Snake
>>67301357
LoL
>>67301828
I agree. Shame Cormac didn't appear in the final battle or anything (iirc)
>>67301656
Slytherin, same as every other candidate. Except Bernie of coursewho would be a squib
alakazam on him and cry for help from the berns
>>67301825
Did you shit your pants posting that?
>>67301954
or this
>>67300814
what's wrong with hufflepuff? its for betas, you are one, so am I. I don't see a problem.
>>67301954
>not a single black man
hufflepuff is for that puff puff PASS hahahah right guys chill af seriously dang
>>67302018
No shit, Hilary got them minorities down pat.
>>67301972
The pretend kino pushers(you)want to encourage the plebs sensibility on this board because it makes their job easier. They want "dude everyone get hyped for the latest movie, ha ha I love fun popcorn times aren't movies fun and comfy. you booked your tickets yet? Look at the rotten tomatoes score! Oh, you didn't like it? Well that's okay, everyone is entitled to their opinion" reddit environment.
I rage against this drift towards hugbox on a daily basis. Kino is a slaughter house. This is a medium of suffering in the name of authenticity and the board should refect that. This isn't 'fun times "fauxkino buff" clubhouse'.
>>67300814
Dress in black and blue constantly and whine loudly about being Transclaw.
>>67302019
DUDE
3>2>5>7>1>6>4>8
>>67301871
>implying Bernie's wise, witty or smart enough to be Ravenclaw
>>67302019
das rite nigga
>>67302018
Are you blind?
>>67300814
>Slytherin
Edgelords who get their ass kicked
>Gryffindor
Tryhard dudebros always in the shadow of potter
>Ravenclaw
Always under academical pressure, no fun allowed
>Hufflepuff
Average-to-hot women, chill people, Real nigga hours
man i aint even mad
>>67302147
>>67301871
bernie is 100% a hufflepuff
trump and hillary are slitherins
based chris christy is a griffindor
I wonder which house tends to have the best employment prospects.
>>67302210
>chris Christie based
The fuck
Hillary is slytherin for sure because she deserves to fucking die, but not trump. He's ravenclaw or Gryffindor. Probably ravenclaw he does what needs to be done to get money
>>67302141
books:
5 > 3 > 1 >>> 7 > 2 > 4 >>>>> 6
movies:
3 > 7 >>> 1 > 2 >>> 5 > 4 > 6
>>67302282
oh and the last movie is shit ofc
>>67302282
Have you ever read real literature?
>>67302275
Since Harry got into Gryffindor by wanting to, Trump would probably sit down with "be sure to be real loud when you shout 'Gryffindor' or you're fired" ringing in his head and get his wish.
>>67302275
trump acts like a retard, he is definitely not ravenclaw. And gryffindors aren't racists as far as I know, so I'd say he fits better in slytherin
>>67302141
>>67302282
imo the books and movies are pretty well smooth in quality. There was a bit of a dip in the quality of the later films but it's fairly even on which ones are good
>>67302308
>"ofc"
Jesus christ, kid
nevermind
420 blæyz æt
>>67302282
I think ootp is underrated as a film, on a rewatch its pretty good, apparently a ton was cut 40+ min. I enjoyed Yates ones.
I love 7 too, 5 and 7 have some nice Brazil undertones
>>67301656
Arrogant, finds convincing people easy, gives no shit about what people says about him, is good or at least has had success in business, always craves and gets for attention, competitive.
Has to be Gryffindor
>>67301440
>/lit/ rejects
So, good taste in literature and failures of the autism test?
Worse than fucking /mu/.
>youll never brew polyjuice potion in the girls lavatory to sneak into the slytherin dungeons
>>67301332
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WgoJQ_-9HJc
>>67302549
>ywn snatch a hair from hermoine and sneak it into the polyjuice to become her and diddle yourself
why even life
>>67301357
>No Madame Bovary
Please fuck off.
>>67302605
>forgot that you had already put Crabb's hair in there as well
>turn into the hermaphroditic lovechild of Crabb and Hermione
>>67302605
>>67302631
>>67302384
Are you implying you have taste in literature and are not some double digit book reader?
>>67302268
Slytherin by far since other slytherins would automatically employ you, they're as nepotism loving as Jews
>>67302701
DELETE THIS
>>67302907
>>67301766
Cedric has canonically lost a quidditch match to Malfoy, you can't get more pathetic than that
>>67302940
*paaaarpp* oops, i let a stinker slip eehhhehehe :) ;)) ;)
>>67302998
Cedric beat harry..... but Harry fell off his broom after being attack by dementors mid match
>>67301521
Being good at potions does not get you girls unless you drug them or have a buddy transform into them
>>67301385
Oh so they are pot heads
>smoke pot all day
>make magic mushrooms but in potion form and more happy
>cast spells and have weird earth seance impregnation sex with hippy Hufflepuffu
Jesus Christ guys come on
>>67303115
Herbology and potions, to make some dank tea to drink under the stars in the astronomy tower, or for a walk on the edge of the forbidden forest would do
>not slytherin
>where based merlin was
>where based snape was
>where based voldemort was
shit house
>>67303204
>Snape, the man that got cucked so hard that he became a wizard nazi
>based
Asshole meter
Quirrel 3/10 for letting in the troll
Lockhart 7/10 being a maniac
Lupin 4/10 being a werewolf
Moody 10/10 fucking Harry's shit up
Umbridge 9/10 a count personified
Slughorn 8/10 fucking shill
Snaps 6/10 kind of a hard grader\killed dumbledore
>>67301357
ASoIaF is shit tier? Fuck off man those books are fantastic, and honestly Harry Potter was great too. Not necessarily for the writing but for all the thought put into the story and character development
>>67303366
The list is folly. Brave new world isn't low tier and yes HP was comfy
>>67303366
Those books are trash
>>67303366
>he reads fairy-tales and declares them fantastic
haha it would be even funnier if you were over 18 as well
>>67303341
>being a werewolf
Werewolves are people too, you fucking racist
>>67303730
hey lupins a fantastic teacher he just lied about Sirius and the fact that full moons turn him mental
>>67303366
>Fuck off man those books are fantastic
>reading 10 pages of a description of a dining table is fantastic
>>67303366
>>67301357
>Ayn Rand garbage alongside actual literature
Dyingasawelfareparasite/10
>Sit around doing fuck all because low expectations
>Basically Chad and Stacy: The House
Oh wow, how horrifying
Who were the qt's in Hufflepuff again?
>>67304058
It's hard to know because the only people that Harry, the POV, considers to be good looking are Cho, Ginny, young Voldemort, Sirius and Cedric.
>>67301151
>alpha
>hufflepuff
Better than Slytherin. And who cares if you're in a mediocre house. You're still a damn wizard.
>>67304830
A mediocre wizard.
>>67300814
>shitstained ass
hit me pretty hard 2bh
>>67304058
No one. All the Hufflepuff's were described as plain and boring, except for Cedric who was probably forced into Hufflepuff because house sorting quotas.
>>67304830
>Better than Slytherin
What the fuck Slytherin was the top house and still needed Gandalf to give Gryff extra points just to win every fucking year. No wonder everyone in Slytherin was tired of everyones shit
>>67304743
>gryffindor
>beta to harry potter
Makes no difference what house you are in. If you're not Harry Potter, or involved with Harry Potter, you're an insignificant bastard.
>>67301385
Living underwater would be the spookiest shit. Especially in the mythical world.
Deep Sea thread anyone?
>>67301385
So why wasn't neville put in Hufflepuff? (I'm talking about back when he was first year, not the alpha neville from deathly hallows)
>>67300814
I move to canada
Has any perma wizard ever tried to do more like?
>>67300814
>Fuck you, nigger.
>Become A Wizarde
>Use technology to sew and implant wands into my fingers
>my thumbs are augmented to pierce skulls
>get immortality
>start practicing magic so super hard I only need to incant with my mind because its embarrassing to incant outloud
>>67305104
The hat knew that he'd eventually become alpha, even in the first book he stands up to Harry, Ron and Hermione even though he knows he can't win
>>67303411
He's trash, but that jpeg is still cherry picking
>>67304112
The curry twins are also described as being the hottest girls in that grade.
>>67305367
But can they poo in loo?
>>67305367
....hah...hahahahahahaha. Are you serious?!
Holy shit. If that's true I'd have immediately been on ANY of those bitches from that girls school in Goblet of Fire.
>>67305413
Yeah it was Ron, Seamus, and that black kid whatever the fuck his name is that said it after Harry finally asked her to the Triwizard dance. Then she went and banged some durmstrang dude because Harry didn't pay attention to her.
>>67301357
I'm reading Atlas Shrugged at the moment and lets be honest, it isn't one of the greatest books ever. It's kind of terrible for its lack of subtlety.
>>67301357
>ayn rand
>god tier
Pick one faggot
>>67301357
>Kanye West: Glow in the Dark even on that image
You had me for awhile with your long bait post - but that gave it away. Good work, anon.
>>67300814
>Don't put me or my son in Hufflepuff ever again
>>67301357
>i'm in one of the dullest franchises in the history of movie franchises
Probably the main reason it would be one the only fictional universes that it would be halfway ok to live in. If you're a Muggle, you'd basically be living like you are right now, and if you're a magic user, life seems pretty easygoing. Even the Voldemort shit seems to only be affecting the UK branch.
It's one of the few fictional stories I can think of where you're not fucked if you're not the main cast.
>>67301780
Harry had tons fucking tons of gold in gringots
>>67304058
Tonks was in hufflepuff
>>67305635
You're arguing with pasta but yea its chill af
Now Rowling is writing about the US tho and native Americans using dark form changing voodoo
>>67305748
>Now Rowling is writing about the US tho and native Americans using dark form changing voodoo
Oh boy, I'm sure that'll go over well.
>>67305635
>It's one of the few fictional stories I can think of where you're not fucked if you're not the main cast.
You could say the same for the Hobbits in Middle Earth for literally all of their history untilSaruman takes over the Shire. The Men have wars, but Gondor before they lose the King seems pretty nice, too.
Elves are literally at peace the entire time except in the Silmarillion, and a few couple odd wars later when they decide to help out.
Being a Dwarf sounds marginally less pleasant. They always seem to get fucked by orcs, Dragons, and Balrogs.
On the whole, Middle Earth seems pretty peaceful for most of the time after the the exile of Morgoth and when Sauron's not up to shit.
>>67305748
Everything she writes will be trash now that she feels the need to retcon everything to a SJW bias.
Her first books were decent children's literature, but everything post potter will be trying to please a now grown audience that can see her plot holes and reveal her for the mediocre writer she actually is. Not trying to be elitist, I loved those books as a kid, but it's painfully obvious she had no idea how to properly finish the series when she added unneeded plot points and failed at tying together the new plots with the original ones, see Hallows.
>>67305779
It hasn't, some natives including a tribal spokesperson are assblasted over fiction
>>67300814
I always tought that this hat looked like one giant perfect piece of hot smudgy turd. Mirroring the little turd cakes from any of the mangas by Akira toriyama.
>>67305810
Well icdomt know if she's writing novels
>>67305779
She published short stories on pottermore to serve as background to the story of the fantastic beasts trilogy which she's writing the script for
>>67305804
That was kind of the whole focal point for Lord of the Rings though. Post Morgoth was a long time of peace, Sauron happens and reignites the Morgoth shit fittery but then gets rekt by the alliance. Post Sauron is a relatively extended period of peace once again until the events of the Hobbit unfold.
>>67304112
>Harry didn't stick with Cho Chang
I was literally shaking my head as I read.
>>67305857
Casual Vacancy was pure garbage and she has another potterverse book coming out this summer which will be trash but sell out the first day guaranteed.
>>67305824
You can set your watch to these people.
>Boo hoo, we don't use voodoo magic to shapeshift.
No shit, Chief Retarded Bull. White people don't use wands or fly on brooms either.
>>67305810
Yea i agree idc what she does but the books were only supposed to be entertaining, and I like the movies a lot more even though some of the adaptations changed things I originally enjoyed. What are examples of your last point of properly finishing plot points and original ones, I honestly don't recall things that went unsaid, in hallows and hbp?
>>67305884
> not wanting the qt 3.14 next door neighbor ginger who gives great head.
>>67305884
What was Rowling's reasoning for him suddenly hooking up with Ginny? To subvert expectations? I'd say that was already accomplished when he didn't hook up with Hermione.
>>67305779
Yeah to be honest though Rowling is shit at research, all her names for magical schools on the other continents, the number of schools on the other continents, her non-magi term, all shit.
She turned stuff about Wendigos which has religious thing only to literally like on tribe of Native Americans, into some unified thing for all Native Americans, and made it so instead of it being say a wizard who got involved in really bad shit being transformed by it, it's just animagus stuff
>>67305918
Which one does anal though? Both?
>>67305863
Yeah, you're right.
>>67301151
>>67304743
>Alpha
>/tv/ user
>>67300814
>Oh no I get to be in based Huff and puff living a quiet life where I can grab food from the kitchens at any time and fuck bitches. I really wish I had to climb a tower multiple times a day and share a room with neurotic Ravenclaw nerds
>>67303730
Piss off furry
b-but Pottermore put me in Slytherin...
n-no!!!
>Hufflepuff
>Bad
Brah, keep chasing that vainglorious shit while I chill here
>>67305934
Well, I think she thought it would simply be boring for Harry to stay with his "first crush" the whole series.
She just cuts off Cho Chang, though. Cho does literally nothing after the 5th book. I would have liked to see a little more back-and-forth - sure, make Harry hook up with Ginny, but in the end, have him go back to Cho.
>>67305912
Minor shit like Hallows being all powerful, wand ownership overriding ancient magic given supposedly from death himself, invisibility cloak being foiled by Dumbledor and Mad Eye, yet also supposedly acting as a shield charm to harmful spells. Shoehorning in characters like Dumbledor's brother in the final book. Just a few off the top of my head.
Then how often she retcons shit that should be left unsaid to appease her Twitter and tumblr followers, like the whole "Hermione is black" shit. I don't give a fuck if she was black from the beginning, but it is written and established that she wasn't in her own goddamn books, as well as her assistance with casting for the movies (she retained a huge amount of power and creative liberties for the films).
She should maintain some integrity and let the books speak for themselves, not tear them apart bit by bit for fan approval.
>>67306026
>Retroactively ruining your work by trying too hard to pander to your fanbase.
She's the George Lucas of children's literature.
>>67301839
not all Slytherins are evil but evil is predisposed to Slytherin's qualities.
>>67306100
Exactly this
>>67306026
Yea that's fucked cuck shit. She's not black. At all. She's a golden bushy curly haired fair skinned English girl, or dirty blonde. Either way the hair description itself eliminates blacks
And yea youre right about that shit it was rushed on, aberforth was awkward, I wish they kept in the cloak ending of hbp in the movie where Dumbledore stuns harry and he sees him die under the cloak unable to move, but they still did a good job
>>67305060
Living underwater would be dope, humankind doesn't function with self sustainability and clean energy, we could be living sealab NOW
>>67300814
Why the fuck would a school segregate students by personality types anyway?
Usually dorm seperations at private schools are either random (same way that in schools classes 1-A, 1-B and 1-C are random), based on how much money you're paying or based on age. Dividing the students this way seems extremely impractical.
>>67306106
>Deathly Hallows 2
>One Slytherin chick says "Grab him!" when Voldemort gives them the ultimatum.
>All of Slytherin gets thrown into the dungeons because one girl panicked, and everyone cheers.
That pissed me off so much. Please tell me that's not in the books.
>>67306244
In the extended cut which I saw on tv they break out immediately after filch locks them in, death eaters break them out. But its funny
And I don't remember 40% chance
>>67306244
>>67306267
To continue they honestly deserved it, they were umbridges personal suits in ootp and helped death eaters break into, ransack and kill the headmaster of Hogwarts in hbp
>>67306267
I never got the point of Slytherin. A hat assigns you there, because you might be ambitious, but not necessarily evil, and you get treated like shit from then on, because everyone assumes you're the reincarnation of Hitler. I'd be a little bitter too.
Anyway, wouldn't it be a better idea to split up the "bad" kids into other houses, where they might be positively influenced by the "good" kids, instead of sticking them all in the same place where they can plot and scheme?
>>67303341
Snape is a fucking horrible teacher and Dumbledore was out of his mind when he decided to ruin the magic education of 16 years of students for no reason.
>>67303786
>Not knowing why the descriptions of food are important when the famine of winter is coming
>>67306358
To be a particularly successful evil person, you need to be ambitious.
And not all bad guys were Slytherin, anyway. Quirrell was a Ravenclaw, Pettigrew was a Gryffindor. There was never going to be an evil Hufflepuff because the entire point of Hufflepuff is that they are kind and loyal. You can still be intelligent and brave while being evil, but kind and loyal? Nah.
Slytherin is just about ambition, and there were plenty of Slytherins who weren't evil - plus a few that were notably good, like Snape, Slughorn, Merlin.
Plus obviously Grindelwald didn't even go to Hogwarts and the was the most powerful evil wizard with the possible exception of Voldemort.
>>67306503
Oh, and Lockhart. Lockhart was a Ravenclaw and a bad guy who lobotomised people and attacked children.
>>67301357
Mmmmmm... pasta.
>>67306503
regulus black was also a good wizard
>>67306658
Yeah, good call. Also Andromeda Tonks.
>>67306503
Wouldn't it be possible for a kind Hufflepuff to turn evil in the years after his sorting?
>>67306687
Yeah, I suppose. I don't think there are any in the books that fall under that category, though.
Being particularly ambitious, intelligent, and aggressive, I am at first surprised and a little insulted.
Eventually, I come to understand that loyalty and kindness do mean an awful lot to me.
Secretly I thank the hat for putting me in the house because now I fly under the radar. I shine in Hufflepuff because everyone else in the house is relatively beta.
I flirt with Gryffindor Girls in public, but fuck Ravenclaw bitches under the cover of night.
Slytherin chicks talk shit about me at first, but then I put them in their place and they obsessively hate me or desperately seek my approval.
>>67301357
>cervantes instead of dante
toplel
Which house has the best common room?
Best house head?
Kindness, hey? I suppose I can live with that - attempt to get the best grades of my house, certainly less competition than the intelligent Ravenclaw or the ambitious Slytherin students.
How was diggery named Hogwarts champion? why were there no other good wizards of age at school other than him a hufflepuff. Were diggery harry and hermione the best wizards at the school?
>>67306229
i wish
>>67300814
I wonder if the other schools have the same stupid house system
>>67306777
Hufflepuff, they were near the kitchen
>>67307423
Are those all the schools in the world? What about people in continental Asia, the Middle East and Australia?
>>67305957
how do you "use" /tv/?
>>67300814
>stuck with the bimbos
I'd thank the hat and get to work.
>>67301357
Glow in the Dark should be one level higher desu senpai
>>67301839
Slughorn and Snape were far from evil, not too mention that Theodore kid who was originally going to be a bro to harry but got shafted because Jk couldn't fit him in
>>67309279
Snape was still a complete and utter asshole even if he was a "good guy". He shouldn't have been a teacher.
Learn some dank ass magic.
Probably use it to hypnotize a 10/10 muggle babe. Make babies, rob banks, ect.
Thug life.
Magic is life's EZ mode.
What would you major in /tv/?
Potions is best subject. Dummies can't bullshit it, and it can make you a god if you're good enough. It is the patrician's subject.
Remember when Bredanialreads narrated that fic where Hermione gets raped by the Sorting Hat?
Learn magic and then use the mostly legal rape potion to marry some rich muggle girl
>>67310918
Isn't the most powerful love potion in the world taught to 6th years, and weaker - but still strong - love potion taught to 3rd years (or lower)?
God, even a mediocre student could be making that shit easy.
>>67310841
Potion is pretty much the best
>Love potion
>Luck potion
>Shapechange potion
>Truth potion
Potion and charms and you are set for life really, might learn defence against dark arts for self defence and transfiguration for some minor stuff.
>>67310950
Makes you wonder how many rape babies there are at hogwarts
>>67300847
That's ravenclaw, reddit
>>67303366
Dude, after the first couple they're really not. They are way too long, way too repetitive, extremely meandering and for no reason, and are cluttered with too many red herrings and useless characters and chapters in order to make it seem more intelligent than it actually is
>>67303366
>Fuck off man those books are fantastic
LEL
The first? Yeah. The next couple? Arguable. After that? KEK.
>>67300814
Accept my fate because I subconsciously chose
>>67300814
By being the most bad-assed hufflepuff ever. Which won't be hard.
>>67305934
Harry/Ginny and Ron/Hermione means that they all officially become one happy family
>>67305716
Even a ton of gold is only worth 36 million, that's small potatoes compared to Malfoy
>>67307423
>you will never plunder the ancient treasures of the African and South American magical schools
Feels bad man
>>67305948
Both, although Cho's severe emotional issues after Cedric died could suggest that she'd given her virginity to him some time in the previous year
>>67311594
He also inherited the Black estate and vault worth of gold which while was never shown, was enough for Sirius to buy a Firebolt without a second thought.
>>67305884
Cho Chang was shit tier. Even I'm elementary school reading it when it first came out I was marginally upset. First of all she was boring as hell. Secondly she was Chinese. Thirdly she was still upset over Cedric and was too emotional for them to have any relationship grounded in reality. This is what I thought when I was 9
>>67306231
It's not quite as personality based as it seems, every year equal numbers of students are sorted into each house, if there'd been too many Griffindors that year Hermione probably would have ended up in Ravenclaw and Neville might have ended up in Hufflepuff
>>67301385
so seth rogen was in hufflepuff
>>67307423
>South American students forced to learn Portuguese to attend school
>no Chinese school
>>67301357
>ayn rand
fuck me im dyin
>>67300814
"Haha time to smash that hufflepuff pussy"
t. me
>>67303341
Dumbledore literally asked snape to kill him as he was going to die anyways, and snape really didn't want to do it but he had to obey him
Fucks sake
>>67311701
>implying Chairman Mao didn't purge the dissenting wizards in the Great Leap Forward
>>67306358
Ron and some of the other Griffindors seem to be the only people that are prejudiced against Slytherins, with the exception of Luna none of the other Ravenclaws are ultra nerdy bookworms so that would imply that most of the people from all four of the houses are pretty normal people
>>67301357
>The Great Gatsby
>god tier
Nicely done, amerishit
>>67307423
Doubt it, Beaubaton and Dumstrang didn't seem to have houses
>>67311766
desu if she actually had an aside about organized chinese magical tradition being smashed in the cultural revolution like they tired to do with real life folk beliefs that would be fairly clever
>>67306777
Ravenclaw or Slytherin tied for most comfy
Snape for best house head
>>67300814
Don't fucking care, I can just chill out forever now obviously.
>>67306658
He still joined the wizard nazis
>>67311671
Didn't it say that he only got the house and that the rest of the Black estate went to one of Sirius's cousins?
>you will never bully that qt Ravenclaw girl with your Slytherbros
>you will never laugh at the Huffledumb's inability to do potions
>you will never cream the Griffinchads at quiditch at then fuck their girlfriends
Why bother living?
>>67301460
Fucking lol mate.
>>67301332
>be in American Witchcraft and Wizardry school
>get cursed
>>67311871
Lot's of people joined or supported the IRA before they started blowing shit up, canonically lots of people got swept up into the Death Eaters before they found out how genocidal Voldemort really was
>>67311933
>be in European Witchcraft and Wizardy School
>platform 9 3/4 blows up killing 46 and injuring more than 200
>>67311887
>implying Slytherin did any of these things, ever
u kno why they call it hufflepuff???
because they spend all day huffing and puffing on the bong instead of dumb shit like fighting voldemort lmao.
Are people forgetting that Hufflepuff was home to Zachriaus Smith? The biggest cunt in the whole seris.
>>67311994
ayyy
>>67303204
> Volgodmort
> literally the biggest edgelord in the universe
> based
>>67301357
>glow in the dark - kanye west
>>67312014
Sorting hat fucks up sometimes m8
>>67311887
That blasé attitude that Harry Potter and other media from the early 2000s has towards bullying would be unthinkable today
>>67312014
Ravenclaw is supposed to be the brainy house and yet they failed to produce a single Head Boy in the entire time that Harry was at Hogwarts, the hat just picks people at random t bh
>>67311887
>>67301357
>No screenplay of The Pest
nice bait
>>67312191
The only person we know to be Head Boy or Head Girl while Harry was at school was Percy in Harry's third year.
>>67312040
See>>67311683
if Smith was 10% Hufflepuff and 90%Slytherin he could still end up in Hufflepuff if there were lots of people in his grade like Draco who are 100% Slytherin
