This motherfucker wants to put you in Hufflepuff. What do you do?
Since I'm an alpha fuck around until they call it Hufflepuss
Hot glue him.
>>67108015
Turn him over, drop my pants and take a huge steaming dump in him for such disrespectful house sorting.
tell him his momma was a condom
Jokes on you, I'm a contrarion
>>67108038
Pretty much this. Hufflepuff girls are guaranteed easy lays.
>>67108015
Nothing because Hufflepuff is literally the based house.
>Slytherin is /pol/ and full of trust fund babbies
>Ravenclaw is for special snowflakes and autists
>Gryffindor is for bullies, attention whores and people who post on /soc/
Hufflepuff is about making bros who actually look out for you, smoking dank herbs with Professor Sprout and fucking dumb bitches.
Meh, they prob got the best weed anyway.
>>67108066
that is harsh
>>67108119
Ravenclaw is definitely the house where slutty theatre bitches would be.
>>67108015
Hufflepuff has all the THICC girls with no self esteem, why would I want any other house?
This nigga just lookin' out for me.
>>67108015
Harry Potter was easily one of the dullest franchise in the history of movie franchises. Each episode following the boy wizard and his pals from Hogwarts Academy as they fight assorted villains has been indistinguishable from the others. Aside from the gloomy imagery, the seriesüf only consistency has been its lack of excitement and ineffective use of special effects, all to make magic unmagical, to make action seem inert.
Perhaps the die was cast when Rowling vetoed the idea of Spielberg directing the series; she made sure the series would never be mistaken for a work of art that meant anything to anybody?just ridiculously profitable cross-promotion for her books. The Harry Potter series might be anti-Christian (or not), but itüfs certainly the anti-James Bond series in its refusal of wonder, beauty and excitement. No one wants to face that fact. Now, thankfully, they no longer have to.
>a-at least the books are g-g-good though
"No!"
The writing is dreadful; the book was terrible. As I read, I noticed that every time a character went for a walk, the author wrote instead that the character "stretched his legs."
I began marking on the back of an envelope every time that phrase was repeated. I stopped only after I had marked the envelope several dozen times. I was incredulous. Rowling's mind is so governed by cliches and dead metaphors that she has no other style of writing. Later I read a lavish, loving review of Harry Potter by the same Stephen King. He wrote something to the effect of, "If these kids are reading Harry Potter at 11 or 12, then when they get older they will go on to read Stephen King." And he was quite right. He was not being ironic. When you read "Harry Potter" you are, in fact, trained to read Stephen King
>>67108170
>Implying Hufflepuff dudes don't panty raid the Ravenclaw sluts
Do you think any of those autists even know what they're missing?
>>67108184
>debunking a childrens book and movie series
ok big boy
Bone Susan Bones.
>>67108184
you need to go outside
>>67108015
I feel like hufflepuf is gonna have all the hottest sluts.
>>67108196
Ignore him. Like all trip fags he's just regurgitating old copypasta because he can't come up with anything on his own.
>>67108184
Do you make your shitposting copypasta ready for the times an HP thread pops up on /tv/ ?
>>67108115
this
>pretend to be happy and say i'm going to the "comfiest" house to all my friends
>end up skipping classes and smoking that dank huffle puff chronic all day
>drop out and join the deatheaters while claiming that voldemort did nothing wrong and that harry potter is an irl nu-wizard cuck
Why is Harry Potter 3 so good and the other movies so shit?
>>67108184
>it's a tr*pfag tries to be notorious copypasting stuff episode
>>67108240
Everyday until the plebs learn
>>67108184
you need to "stretch your legs".
>>67108256
because it's edgy
They've got some powerful magic in Hogwarts, you can literally change your race if you want to.
>>67108256
Because the book was more complex than the first two but still short enough to adapt into a movie. After that the books got longer and longer so the movies had to cut a ton of content out.
>>67108282
>lavender brown
>is black
P O T T E R Y
>>67108292
who cares? Most of the source material is shit
>>67108324
>>>/r9k/
>>67108292
That's part of it, but it's also the only one that actually has style. The first 2 are your classical fantasy movie for children, and from 4 to 7 it's your average YA looking movie adaptation.
The writing, the new sets, costumes, characters depth, camerawork... everything is better in Azkaban
>>67108015
Be okay with that.
Means I'm loyal, and that's good I suppose. I've heard that it's really likely to be a stoner house (Come on, a badger?) so that'd be cool. Plus the group masturbation sessions would help me relieve some sexual frustrations.
>>67108374
Filtered.
>>67108382
Alfonso Cuaron as director certainly helped a lot.
>>67108184
>trip on /tv/
I will never understand this.
Also, fuck off faggot, harry potter is light hearted childish shit at best, you're not above anyone with your amazing critique like you think you are.
>>67108382
Nail on the head, although I thought Half-Blood Prince nearly recaptured PoA's style.
First 2 are comfy, 3 is patrician and the rest YMMV
>>67108015
Accept it. Hufflepuff is the best house.
>>67108550
>m-muh it's ok if it's shit it's childish
The review already addressed that point
If you let your children watch HP they will be dumb plebs just like you
>>67108602
>dumb plebs just like you
You fucking read my post and made out that i said it was good ? No i never, i said its dumb childish shit at best and that you aren't a special snowflake for pointing that out.
Jesus christ fucking stop, you are embarrassing.
>>67108184
>6 (You)'s
very nice Bateman, you got lucky with all the /pottermore/ Redditors out tonight
I would object that I belong to Ravenclaw because I'm smartass asshole.
>You will never be an asshole Ravenclaw in the past Hogwarts
>You will never bully and sexually assault Myrtle with your asshole friends
