>bring my mom to the cinema to get pass the no singles policy
>by some fucking miracle we both pass the penis inspection
>dodge the cinema shooter and get to our screening
>squeeze pass the cinema niggers standing up on their seats singing Who Let the Dogs Out
>later gotta take a bathroom break
>do my business and wash up in the showers
>two old men approach me
>"Where's yer anvil at sonny?"
>grab the cinema tiki torch and wave it away
>sprinklers put out the fire
The fuck was even the point?
This is why I don't go to the movies. I'm sorry, OP.
>forgetting the anvil
The cinema tiki torch isn't actually there to help you, it's a beginner's trap. Next time just stay in your house for Friday night.
At least you didn't get food poisoning from the crab legs
>>67078548
You did alright except for saying "get pass" instead of "get past".
>go to local cinepub to see monthly screening of The Castle
>every man and his dog is queued up to buy Minties and a pack of Fags
>order a Four n Twenty
>$7.80
>sauce caplet
>$12.50
>qt cashier asks why I'm not ordering any VB, thinks I'm trying to sneak my own in
>get patted down in the corner by the bouncer
>no VB but he does find my Brown snake antitode, says I can have it back later to make sure I don't cause any trouble
>move into theatre and find a seat between a pack of lebos and the bogans from down the street
>kick my steel caps up on the seat in front
>some poofta tells me to take them down
>tell him to get a big black dog up him
>challenges me to an arm wrestle
>paul_hogan_grinning.jpg (2kb)
>break this homos arm in the middle of the film
>do the curious thing and take him 150km to the hospital
>drive home
>have to use the outdoor dunny because that night gave me the shits
>Brown snake bites my arse
>bouncer still has me antidote
>cark it
>>67078658
its a new bill that was pass recently
new meme
pepe
kek
bane
>>67078658
Why would you get past instead of get pass? Do they hand you a picture from their childhood or something?
>>67078686
swing and a miss on that one, anon.
>go the the theater
>everybody receive a mandatory bulletproof vest excepted me
>have to steal someone's vest while he leaves to shower during the intermission
>>67078686
Maybe he got a pass for his Anvil? They don't just let you carry those things in without an inspection
>tfw watching The anvil hoarder(1938) for the first time
>>67078831
They made a movie about my life?
>>67078682
>Australia used the dollar
>symbol is specifically derived from the letters 'U' and 'S' for United States
Is any country more cucked?
>mfw my falcon flew off with my anvil for the 3rd time this month
I'm going to fucking murder that bird when I see him next time.
>go to local cinema
>my falcon doesn't pass the weight requirements, is legally considered a sparrow
>bypass this by hiding fishing weights under his wings for the weighing and screening.
>guy in front of me gets caught trying to smuggle his own crab legs in under his falcon wings
>they institute a falcon pat down
>find the weights on my falcon, realize it's a sparrow (legally, it's actually just underdeveloped)
>throw it into the mantle with all the other contraband that heats the cinema
>can't see deadpool because no singles policy
>>67078548
the hell you on about?
>Hitchhike 14 miles to the only theatre in my area without a No singles policy
>Pass the physical examination and Ethnic screening to get into the showers
>Scrub down quickly, running a little late after a bit of confusion during the cavity check
>Finally make it into the showing room, only window seats are left
>Damn near trip over three separate anvils on the way to the end of the row
>Finally get settled and then realize I forgot my crab legs with the driver of the semi-truck
>Amidst everything I forget to take my Falcon's hood off and she misses the first ten minutes of the movie
>Dedicated shooter arrives early, don't even make it to the intermission
>Later find out I was put on the Do-Not-Admit list for missing the bathroom groping session hosted by the Theater Refugees
Never again.
How do you guys pass the dance recital during the intermission? I mean I would prepare for it if they actually told you what dance you're even supposed to learn in the first place
