ITT /tv/ writes a movie script 1 line or stage direction at a time. I'll start
>Fade in, ext. Warehouse
>
>A young skinny Caucasian girl of about 13 is seen taping a note to the warehouse door.
>fade out
A peculiar, weasel of a man tries in vain to stifle his maniac laughter as he sneaks into the warehouse carrying a PURPLE DILDO (QUENTIN, 50).
>QUENTIN:heh....dingus...hneh heh hih
-four large black gentlemen enter-
>the end
>fade in, int. Dark torture chanber
>poor little white guy sits on the floor, nude, crying
>camera pans past a blender full of white liquid, with a label taped on it saying: POZ LOADS
>Quentin sips his coffee, burning his mouth
QUENTIN: MMMMM. What's going on here?
QUENTIN
Now who's the bull and who's the buck alriiiiiight?
>a BLACK MAN grabs the jar of POZ LOADS and hands it off to Quentin
>poor little white guy quivers
QUENTIN
Nah I ain't gonna do it
>pirate ship crashes through the wall
>hello hello starts playing
>quentin: this is.. canada
>Enter a very black man in a white lab coat
"The results are in, Sir & treatment is of the essence."
>another BLACK BOY emerges from the darkness
BLACK NIGGER
I'll do it. I'll poz him up
QUENTIN
(turns, looks directly into the camera)
It's a black male thing
>CUT TO: field in Khazakstan, a CIA AGENT stands alone
>>64586678
>>64586721
>>64586787
Top jej
>so who is the buck again?
>camera pans to That black guy
>it aint me starts playing
how come as soon as it started to be about big black men the rate of samefrogging increased so suddenly
CIA: From my point of view, the flight plan is evil!
>oh shit, how did you actually thought this was going to be a good idea?
>at three minutes and seventeen seconds into the film we hear a little surprise
>>64586787
>It's a black male thing
>>64586909
OPENING CREDITS
>http://youtu.be/2Beda3kFNjo
>a large black man sticks his head out of the plane and shouts to CIA
BIGGUS: BILL! WE'RE GOING TO NEED A FLIGHT PLAN IF WE WANT TO GET THAT SHIPMENT OF POZ LOADS SECURED IN TIME!
>screen fades to white with Louis ck narration. Louis
Louis (whispers): your wives......sisters......daughters.....aunts
Long pause
.....take them to the special place....
....the interracial breeding grounds...
Long pause
....and end the white race
>screen fades to black
>>64586980
>CIA: [to himself] those poz loads won't last one minute in the skarch ...
>>64587021
>fade out
>back to the werehouse
>>64587021
Cut to QUENTIN
QUENTIN
I'm feeling an urge for POZ LOADS all of a sudde....
QUENTIN performs uno farto
QUENTIN
(to poor little white guy)
Let me suck your toes or I'll whoop your ass up and down this street
>Author's note: it's a black male thing
>typing thread on final draft
>/tv/ has shitty dialogue
JOHN BOYEGA, 25, a black male with the features of a gorilla and the charm of a chipmunk bounds over and is fellated by the giddy Louis.
Louis (muffled as he gobs)
Thank you my boy... Thank you.
John (guffawing)
No need for that friend! I'm a white nigger!
Louis stumbled back, perplexed.
>>64587137
What did you expect?
>>64586995
INT. INTERRACIAL BREEDING GROUNDS
camera is zooming into Louis from the distance
Louis
It's true. all of it. The IBG, the BBC, They're real.
>>64586373
INT. WAREHOUSE
[two men walking towards the exit]
CIA V.O.
So I ask him if I take off that mask will you die
CIA
And he says it would be extremely painful.
A MAN
So did you take it off
CIA
>[stops]
No. I said you're a big guy and he said for you
A Man
>[chuckles]
Was he that big?
CIA
Yeah. He was a big guy. For me at least. Not for the Batman.
EXT. WAREHOUSE
EXT. SUV
>[walking towards the car]
INT. SUV
>>64587163
quality meme dialogue.
>Smash cut, ext. Farmhouse
>>64587259
>a black man and woman argue
WOMAN
You were cheating on me! I walked in and saw you two on the bathroom floor!
>it wasn't me starts playing
>>64587259
A FARMER (an Aidan Gillen type) is carrying a large rusty anvil into a barn. We see that the barn is full of anvils.
>>64587193
An autistic boy with a malformed face whimpers pitifully at the feet of JJ Abrams.
Troglodyte (his head hung in disappointment)
Quality meme dialogue... is that so much to ask for?
He ejaculates prematurely with no stimulation and JJ laughs mockingly.
EXT. SPACE
Camera switches towards the planet of Jakku.
EXT. PLANET JAKKU FROM SPACE
Spaceships flying ahead in all directions.
EXT. PLANET JAKKU, THE GROUND
Random aliens passing by, music plays from the local bars, a Hutt passes by. Bounty hunters dressed like Boba Fett are seen conversing.
EXT. LANDING SITE
A fine spaceship lands, its door open. Two figures are seen exiting it.
SENATOR 1
I am most displeased by your progress with the Weapon Trade Act, Senator!
SENATOR 2
It will take a lot of time. [alien speech]
EXT. JAKKU JUNKYARD
A girl (REY) is seen repairing a BB type of droid.
REY
Come on, BB-8. I have to fix your holo projector!
BB-8
[beeps]
INTERMISSION
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PiDRgDmXGi4 (sound only) plays on repeat for 10 minutes
>>64587421
>>64587192
>>64587380
One line at a time retards
I hate this board.
YOURE A BIG PIZZA HAHAHA
CUNNY HAHAHA
DUDE WEED LMAO HAHAHA
AUSTISTIC ROONY HAHAH
CAPESHIT HAHAHA
SMELLY STINKY QUENTIN FEET HAHAH
>>64587494
Fade in. ext Warehouse.
>Smash cut, White House. The president, (played by Rutger Hauer) is sitting at the Oval Office desk, holding a phone to his hear aND idly toying with a sealed test tube marked with the words POZ LOAD SMPL
>Smash Mouth - All Star.mp3
>>64587934
>Fade out. int Warehouse
>Close up on Feetantino face
>>64587974
>Int. Brendan Fraser Residence
>SOMEBODY ONCE TOLD ME
This thread is making me laugh so hard, but it's retarded.
We're past ironic meming. We are post-ironic self-aware memeing, and it's gold.
I cannot imagine wandering into /tv/ for your first time and seeing this thread, and attempting to decipher what any of it means.
It's seriously like we're speaking another language. Everything we say is coated in several layers of irony and obscurity, such that only people who have been here long enough could even come close to understanding the true message.
Jesus.
>>64588096
>It's like we're speaking another language
>how can anyone decipher what it means
lurk more faggots
>>64588096
I understand every single word and it's infuriating.
Do we have to fuck up every goddamn thread?
>>64588016
>Camera slowly closes up on Brendan's face
>>64588123
Get reading comprehension. I understand everything, all the references and jokes, it's just hard imagining being a first timer and seeing this.
>>64588152
>Camera pans up to his hair
>the sound of a buzz-cutter is heard
>the words JUST keep flashing on screen
>Brendans face is frozen in a scream of pure despair
>the alimony... the alimony... the alimony...
>>64588246
>a low high pitched buzzing is heard, slowly increasing in volume as images of crucifixion, animal slaughter and old silent films flash rapidly across the screen. Brendan writhes in agony
>The Mummy Returns fades in, the entire film plays with Brendan's face of despair superimposed over it
>>64588393
Fade out
>>64588867
>a far away big black cock starts spinning and moving foward, as it approaches the camera the veins and the red pulsating head gets bigger and bigger
>>64588936
Fade out
>>64588959
>Fade in ext Warehouse
