>It's a great product. I love the product. And I love you! We don't see this kind of energy from our entrepreneurs often. I'd love to make you an offer. My offer is for -
>This would go great in one of the kiosks by the halfcourt bathrooms. My offer is 10k for 49% and if you look back at Robert I will literally throw this chair at you and pummel your body until my fists crack through the concrete below the floor.
>Wow, great deal. Looking forward to working with you Mr. Cuban
>I offer you $3.50 for 40% but you have to respond this second without breaking eye contact or I'm out.
>mfw getting called "Cubes"
>>64568391
>why am I here?
>I'd rather be doing Golden Corral commercials
>Did someone say, "litigation"!?
>Jewing intensifies
>It's a nothing-proprietary-about-it pitch
>>64569116
>B-b-but I have patents pending!
i love a good shark tank thread.
>It's a Mark get irrationally angry episode
>>64568391
Fuck this guy and his goddamn jaw.
![shark-tank-show-abc-1940x900_35239[1].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/ZA9c3CG.jpg "shark-tank-show-abc-1940x900_35239[1].jpg")
My name is Jeb Bush, and I'm running for president in 2016. I come from a long line of distinguished presidents, and my campaign has been running to continue this tradition. I've been the governor of Florida, and I married a latino woman. This campaign has received heavy investment from the establishment, and I look forward to continuing that investment with you, and we can do Jeb! 2016.
Kevin: How are your numbers so far?
Jeb: Well, we're currently polling around 2-3%.
Kevin: What are you chasing?
Jeb: Unfortunately Mr. Trump is at 40%.
Kevin: I'm out.
Mark: Mr. Trump is actually a fellow businessman who I have already endorsed for president, and I can't invest against him, so I'm out.
Robert: How much are you asking for?
Jeb: I am asking for a $200 million investment, and in return you get 70% of the top lobbying rights on executive decisions.
Robert: How much have you spent so far?
Jeb: To date we've spent $128 million.
Robert: Wow.
Kevin: See, this is why I was out, I knew this was trouble from the start.
Robert: Jeb, how can you possibly think you can continue this campaign? Where is the money going?
Jeb: W-w-well...
Kevin: He's DEAD, this is not happening, he just doesn't know it yet. DEAD!
Mark: Yeah look Jeb you're a nice guy and I'm not going to jerk you around, I know Robert will try to soothe your feelings here but listen to Kevin on this one.
Robert: Well look I can't come down on your whole campaign, but for me, with those numbers, I'm out.
Jeb: T-thank you sharks.
>>64569610
KEK
>its a "woman starts crying so she immediately gets an offer from Barbara or Lori" episode
>>64569610
pretty good if not a copypasta
>>64568709
nah more like
>Did someone say "licensing"!?
![kevin[1].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/8nba0KP.jpg "kevin[1].jpg")
"There is a small island in the Himalayan Sea called Malderiki, upon which I own a large mansion. Every year afer the first rain, the Newport Beach Wine Society (of which I am a member) gathers at my mansion to watch the island's natives grovel in the mud as their pathetic straw dwellings are ripped apart by the rising waters. On this island there is also a fish, called a Piranha Giganticus. Coinciding with the first rain, this fish swims into the flooded island and begins to feed on the older and weaker natives of Malderiki. Unable to defend themselves from the killer fish and uttrly helpless, the natives make their way to my mansion in makeshift canoes. At this point, the Newport Beach Wine Society opens a bottle of pre-revolution French Chardonnay, dated no later than 1760, and places wagers on which native will be the first to reach the high ground of my sprawling lawn. Once the fish has fed and returned to the Sea, there are typically a handful of natives left on my lawn, at which point we activate the electric fence and release the crocodiles. Last year, during the crocodile feeding, a tiny speck of native flesh was flung from the lawn up to the balcony where the Newport Beach Wine Society was gathered and landed on my shoe. I retrieved the piece of flesh and placed it in my mouth, washing it down with a glass of Moldovan Pino Griggio. Right now, YOU are that piece of flesh."
>>64570400
This monologue-dubs-combo is easy to vape to
>>64569743
I LOST MY BABY!
I LEARNED TO KNIT SOCKS FOR BOOTS WHILE IN THE HOSPITAL WITH A DEAD BABY!
>Well here's 1.25 million dollars for 10% of your company
>But you're going to have to hire more designers
WAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
I don't even watch this show but I love the threads about it
>>64570553
>It's a smokers at a business pretend that there are local laws prohibiting electronic nicotine delivery devices and ask you to leave while smoking within 15 feet of the business entrance episode
>Woman starts crying while telling a story about how she and her husband were great at budgeting and had no debts
What the fuck are you crying about you stupid googly eyed bitch?
>>64570400
"I'm out"
>>64570733
Shits already like that though. Vaping and smoking are now equally demonized and are both banned everywhere.
>it's a couple with a food company
>>64572087
Banned nowhere. It's only buttmad cigarette smoker employees that try to enforce imaginary laws.
>>64569610
This > SNL
>>64572614
>it's a hopeful person gets verbally destroyed episode
>>64570400
KEK
This is Simpsons tier
>>64572664
Pretty sure you can't vape indoors, in parks, or near buildings at this point. And why the fuck would smokers care about what vapers do?
>its a Robert gets cucked episode
>its every episode
>>64572831
It's like you've never called them on their bullshit.
>My manager would sure have something to say if she saw you with that
(As it sits on the table in TGI Friday's)
"Good get her over here I want to talk to her"
>UHHHHHHHHHHHHHH I CAN'T HAVE A NICE DAY
>>64572990
lol. sad but true
