Luke, did I ever tell you about Bidlo Kwerve? He was a Corellian pirate and smuggler who served Jabba Desilijic Tiure. A tall, grizzled man with scarred features and a mane of black hair, he was known for his greediness and hot temper, and was quick to respond to any perceived insults. Kwerve and a Twi'lek named Bib Fortuna competed to become Jabba's new majordomo after the Hutt deemed his previous retainer, Naroon Cuthus, too old and incapable of carrying out his duties. Kwerve and Fortuna hated each other with a passion and went to great lengths to prove themselves in Jabba's eyes, though Jabba considered each as incompetent as the other. Kwerve disliked Jabba's top pilot, Han Solo, and the two often clashed, both in words and with blasters. Around 2 BBY, he considered leaving Jabba's employ because of the continual menial tasks that were being asked of him, and though Fortuna encouraged him to quit, he never did. Shortly before the Battle of Yavin, Kwerve discovered a crashed ship in the Tatooinian desert, with a live rancor inside it. Hoping to present the beast to Jabba for his birthday, he begrudgingly sought the aid of Fortuna to help him transport it to Jabba's Palace. Jabba was impressed with the initiative shown by his two top lieutenants and offered to make one of them his new majordomo; the other would be given the "greater honor," though Jabba did not specify what this was. Ever greedy, Kwerve accepted the "greater honor"—he became the rancor's first victim and was devoured in a pit below Jabba's court.
Anyway, I only bring this up because in about four years you're going to pick up his skull and throw it at a panel to drop a large door down on that very same rancor. He'll get his revenge on the rancor, from a certain point of view.
And he was a good friend.
That loony ol' Ben, always with his stories
It's depressing that I already knew all about Bidlo Kwerve. I need to go home and re-think my life.
>>64519576
You seriously do. I just learned about him and I'm already rethinking my life.
>>64519401
>bydlo kurwa
>>64519646
It's fucking real
http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Bidlo_Kwerve
This shit is why I loved the EU, it was so dumb it was hilarious
>>64519726
What's dumb about having a backstory for a skull? It obviously belonged to someone once, skulls don't just magically appear.
>>64519401
THIS IS LUKE SKYWALKER'S MUDHUT, YOU'RE OBI-WAN KENOBI!
>>64519726
That book (Tales from Jabba's Palace) was pretty good actually.
>>64519726
>depth is bad
>don't take away muh mysticism
>Somebody took time out of their life to write an elaborate backstory for the skull that Luke throws at a door to escape the rancor
>That person still probably has had more gfs than you
>>64520772
>he wrote an elaborate story of a man's tragic demise
>I've written stale memes and shitposts on a kongalese cp circulation network
>>64520874
Tell that to Kanjiklub
>>64520442
Ah, Rey, glad I caught you.
I see Obi Wan has clued you in about Bidlo, but did I ever tell you about Evar Orbus and his Galactic Jizz wailers?
They were a Jizz band that, after the tragic demise of Evar, found their way to Tatooine alongside Max Rebo. It's particularly important because when your Aunt was about to be raped by a giant space slug, they performed the musical accompaniment.
Max himself eventually joined the Rebel Alliance to provide entertainment and steal as much food as he could.
And they were good friends
>>64519726
>Appearances
>Star Wars: Episode VI Return of the Jedi (Skull only)
Holy fuck, my sides.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Brazen_bull
Luke, did I ever tell you about C3PO?
He is a protocol droid built by your father with a box of scraps in a shack, but somehow looks like a professionally made, mass-produced model. He then became a stalwart companion to me, witnessing every important event of the Clone Wars. I will, however, never bring him up in your presence, or even acknowledge the fact that this droid was a good friend.
>>64521026
Man he looked so based there. If Episode VIII doesn't open with Rey on her knees sucking him off I will lose all investment.
>>64519401
I say this completely seriously: ObiWanposting is the best thing /tv/ has ever created next to Baneposting.
>>64521809
I am a good meme character.
>>64521809
It's because Obi Wan's scenes have the exact same formula as the plane scene
1) Hilariously retarded dialogue (except in the OT, but that was made retarded in hindsight due to the prequels)
2) Knock on implications of the script that nobody spotted and/or cared about
3) A community that knows the material inside out
