>Get me Brad Pitt!
>He's unavailable, Sir.
>Then get me his non-union mexican equivalent!
>>64443436
I disagree he is better. Also, he is Puerto Rican.
>>64443598
he looks like he has seen some really bad shit.
>>64443436
>his non-union mexican equivalent is unavailable too, sir!
>then get me his Asian equivalent
Can't wait for him in Star Wars Episode VIII
Imagine Benicio as a bounty hunter damn
>we need a French actor
>but s-sir they don't speak English
>speak no more gents
>>64443644
>yfw there's an Afghan equivalent of Brad Pitt
>>64443644
Kek
>>64443688
>sir, we need a French actor to play a bad guy
>he's waiting outside
>I don't have a lot of money, but I'd like a competent, professional actor that doesn't have an ego and won't ask for much
>I got you, friend
>>64443806
>>64443781
>>64443688
keks were had
>get me Jackie Chan
>he's injured sir
>Then get me his non-injured equivalent!
>Man this project was perfect for Phllip Seymour Hoffman, too bad he died...
>I've got a crazy idea sir
>sir, we need an Italian to play a mobster lackie
>say no more, friendo
>>64443436
>>64443644
>>64443741
Top laugh
>QUICK! THERE'S BEEN A SPILL ON AISLE 3! GET SOMEONE TO CLEAN IT UP!
>DUDE
>He's already on board sir
>I need an extra large rat and the budget for special effects has been spent
>I do have blocks of cheese lying around, however
>Sir, I'd like to introduce you to...
>>64443436
He's literally a better actor than Pitt
>skinny Damon is already booked?
>then get me that other Damon!
>Matt Damon would have been perfect for this role, but unfortunately he's busy with another project
>Well they don't call me "Magic" Sam for nothin! Say no more!
There's no way this thread wasn't taken directly from Reddit.
>>64444209
Brad "i've only acted as an stoic confused man for the last 20 years" Pitt
>>64444282
Said the redditor
>>64444160
lel
>>64444279
>Get some rest, Matt, you look retarded.
>BRWEEEEE
>BRWEEEEE
>I need an old british guy.
>He's already here, sir.
>just
>making fun of successful actors while you work for meager wages your entire life and post on /tv/
>before dark side
>after dark side
>I want that midget from Game of Thrones!
>Peter Dinklage is busy, sir.
>What about the other one?
>I'll make the call.
>>64444364
>being so uptight and unable to have fun
I think reddit is more up your alley
>>64443436
stop making this thread everyday you sad unoriginal cunt
http://archive.4plebs.org/tv/search/text/%22Then%20get%20me%20his%20non-union%20mexican%20equivalent%21%22/
>>64444364
>this post
>>64444221
>Matt Damon
>not Fat Damon
Any film is immediately 110% better with this guy in it.
>it'z only smellz
>plsss, make me nasty…make me nasty, I luvva nasty, cmon…Ima nasty boy
>plis dun crie
>u test ur ass?
>ooo yeah, vy do u make my deek so hard?
>u r so fuckin pretty to me ahhh…beautiful…beautiful to me ahhh
>don’t take off now because I enjoy too much!
>it’s naht bloody, but it’s a little broken…
>u like when Rocco phuck u, velly strung?
>u take all the way inside bitch…
>vat is going on…with u…ahhh so much make me cum…
>imagine ur father if he see dis movie
>this is really incredible nasty…
>you shud not hiv told me ur father wash my porno
>ooo, wrung hole...niccce
He is a fucking legend!
>We're currently having auditions for our wisecracking mexican/asian that will be the badass sidekick in the movie
>Sir, i think we found him.
Real talk guys, this guy is so fucking JUST today it took me 4 minutes to find an ok picture of him.
Came here to shit on OP for making again this meme reddit thread but ended up almost pissing myself from laughing. But pls, this is the last time ok.
>>64444747
He's fine, did you see him in American Ultra? He just does his thing while having a nice body
>>64444747
seriously, no shoop needed
>>64444369
top kek
>>64444447
This is my favorite:
>Alright there's a problem everyone
>We still need someone to play a lead girl for three movies in a row in one of the biggest franchises in existence. Thing is we already spent everything on persuading Ford to come back also that BB-8 droid cost us like 800 million dammit. What do we do?
>Well we could just cast..
>No. Listen, I said we really don't have any money.
>Okay. Sorry sir. Why don't we call..
>Do you not understand? I really mean NO DAMN MONEY. ZILCH.
>Fine, I still have 200 dollars in my wallet, I'll go call that one skank I saw play a topless cadaver a while ago
>That'll do
>Alright, so the next character should--
>Done, next.
>>64444893
>not based Oldman
>We need a mexican cop chief or cartel guy
say no more f a m
>>64444893
>But--
>Alright already, I'll call him too, jeez.
>Sir, Brad pitt read the script and says he's not into it
>What the fuck what actor wouldn't want to be involved in a project of this magnitude?
>Guess we'll have to find someone desperate
>Who was that actor in that one film about Alexander the Great that bombed?
>Orlando Bloom?
>No that was Troy although we could afford him
>Hold on sir I'll check imdb
>Says here his name is Colin Farrell
>That's the one I want, also ask his brother Will if he could convince Vince Vaughn to star in it too
>Say no more sir
>>64445168
zodiac?
>>64445168
LADIES AND GENTLEMAN MY NAME IS PAUL HEYMAN
>>64445168
>Yes but, see, this is a 90s movie, so--
>He's already waiting outside, sir.
>So, our movie will show a naked woman in this scene..
>sir, you a have a visit
>>64444209
>>64443598
>thinks Brad Spic is a better actor than Brad Pitt
Found the spic and he's samefagging.
>>64444032
LOL
>>64443644
>then get me his Asian equivalent
>sorry sir, he's not available either
>all that's left is this guy
>>64445639
>Will ze get noodz in this scene?
>No
>walks out
>>64445639
>the faintest hint of jet-black pit stubble
Heaven.
>>64443436
did he unJUST ?
>we need a mexican chick with attitude to play some kind of military character
>We have this role for a 40-something woman that looks, dresses and behaves like a hipster teen
>I'M ALREADY HERE LIKE HI
>YEAH I JUST ASSUMED I WAS IN IT
>>64444156
Goodbye sides
>>64444893
I swear i've seen this guy's entire work on my bus rides
>>64444369
que pasa
>>64444026
Met this guy in real life. He was such a stand-offish asshole.
>we need to pander to the reddit crowd
>*starts playing ukulele*
>>64444447
He has done his first may-may, man. Give the kid a break.
>>64448285
>We want the reddit audience
>*distant ukulele song*
>>64444193
rofl
>The studio demanded we include a rapper in this film
>Uh sir, Ice Cube is booked for a large amount of films and Ice - T is busy with his TV show
>What about T.I?
>He declined to focus on his next album
>Then who's left?
>I know a rapper who's available and even won an Oscar too
>Who could that be?
>>64448334
*3 chords song intesifies*
>This script needs a quirky British comic relief chara-
>Sir he's already co-writing it.
>>64448285
>>64448430
i cant comprehend how you can look so extremely retarded
>>64444325
>shoots at children externally
>I want Hemsworth to play the lead role.
>Chris isn't available.
>Well get me his brother, then.
>Liam isn't available, either.
>Goddamn it, man. This role requires a Hemsworth!
>Hold on, i got you covered.
>>64448285
>>64448430
>We need an ugly Latino criminal but we can't afford Danny Trejo
>say no more sir
>We nee-
>Done He's waiting outside
>listen guys, we're in deeper shit than I thought. Mexican Brad Pitt just walked out on us when he saw the script
>worry not sir, it's my man's time to shine
>>64448413
YEAH HO!
>>64448190
but it's already obvious he's asian.
>>64448752
ayyyy lmao
>>64445639
>Ok, we need a girl with a hot body but the face of a horse
>say no more
>We need John Boyega!
>He's unavailable, Sir.
>Fine, we can do it with mo-cap.
>>64448752
Based Eric
>>64445738
>>64443598
>>64444209
Okay anon. sure thing retard.
>I want Dave Franco but I have literally no money and I'll have to pay him in opium and adult coloring books
>He smelled the opium from the street sir
>>64444364
>work
Get a load of this wagecuck faggot.
![Keira-Christina-Knightley[1].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/6Al77vj.jpg "Keira-Christina-Knightley[1].jpg")
>Get me Natalie Portman
>Uh, yeah sure I got you senpai
>When you hire Quentin Tarantino but wish you hadn't and want to get rid of him
>We need Johnny Depp, but gayer
>Say no more sir. And this ones actually British!
>>64449577
Every time
>Someone get me that black guy from...
>I got him on the phone already sir
>>64448430
She looks like the sidekick in nightcrawler
>>64449664
>not him, I meant th-
>Oh, sorry, there you go
>I want Imhotep but imdb.com is down.
>I have an idea. It's crazy but... it just might be crazy enough to work.
>>64449664
>he sounds too clean, I need somebody more...."urban" if you catch my drift
>he's on his way sir
>>64449366
>>64449283
*subtle milk smell intensifies*
>>64448752
>We have two dollars left in our budget, but we desperately need another actor. And not just any actor, but someone who has been nominated for an Oscar. Any ideas?
>You may rest easy, sir, he's already on his way.
>Yo, I found this dude outside the door. Hand him some sunglasses so we can start the Joey Ramone biopic.
>ok I need to get will smith
>he isn't available, but I got martin Lawrence waiting outside
>eh he will do
>I have a role that's perfect for Sam Worthington, but I'm afraid his intensity and charisma will overshadow the rest of the cast
>I got this senpai
I must be retarded because I'm in tears laughing at this thread you fuckers
![john-oliver[1].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/l7fzGBU.jpg "john-oliver[1].jpg")
>we need a calender
>I got you senpai
>Can we get Kurt Russel for the role?
>No, but I've got the next best thing
>Clint Eastwood says he wants a ni-
>Say no more
>re you sure this is harrison ford? ok then
>>64444369
Before and after tanning
>>64449366
>You fucker, I actually laughed
>we need something to be CIA
>say no more
>we need a big guy
>for you
>>64443598
His eyes are too shitty to be better.
![150507-news-amy-schumer[1].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/NBcPRt9.jpg "150507-news-amy-schumer[1].jpg")
>we need a female com-
>she's been jerking off the crew for the last week
>get me the beaner
>aight
>>64444374
what are they doing there
>>64444209
>better actor
He barely even had any speaking lines and didn't show any impressive chops. You are retarded.
>I want Ethan Hawke, but he's asking for too much.
>It's your lucky day, sir.
>>64443436
>Quick, find me a lady to play in a comedy
>Amy Shumer is available, sir
>No no, fatter
>Taking care of it, sir
>>64449664
>>64449757
why am i so easily amused
>we need a badass white male for this Vietnam era-movie
>Got any ideas people?
>>64448534
>he's already co-writing it
i giggled
>we need someone to be a car accident victim
*walks in with a smug face*
>>64450588
>Using the logic of radical feminists, she raped a guy back in college
>"No no, that was different"
>>64449915
>I need the midget from Death at a Funeral
>Peter Dinklage is busy with Gam-
>No, the black one
>ok sir
>I really want Natalie Portman but I hate kikes.
>I've already made the call, bruv.
>we need a fat guy for this Adam Sandler movie and Chris Farley is dead
> I got the right guy for the job sir
![1401x788-486800249[1].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/toXjU1Q.jpg "1401x788-486800249[1].jpg")
>It's 2015 and we need a wise-cracking British man
>He arrived 20 minutes ago
>I need David Hayter, but he's asking for too much.
>Gotchu covered!
>>64450682
>We found this guy in the dumpster out back!
Still butthurt, I see
>>64444369
>Cosmetic surgeon: So what kinda look you want, Brad?
>Brad: I wanna know what I'd look like if I were half Chinaman half Latino.
>Cosmetic surgeon: Say no more fa͏m.
>>64450600
>no, the older beaner.
>say no more senpaiília
>Hey there, Channing Tatum here. I'll pretty much suck dick for a role, what do you got for me?
>So watchu want
>I need a tough Captain and michael ironside isn't avail-
>Say no more senpai
>>64444747
John Leguizamo is literally "that guy" that you see in random movies and you're like "hey thats neat"
>>64450770
>we need a someone to play a minority in a Adam Sandler movie
>mr Sandler said he would work
>We need a British authority figure and we can't afford Michael Caine
>Say no more good sir
>Is Bob Odenkirk available?
>No.
>What about Patrick Wilson?
>Done.
>>64450933
>We need a charming and buff but somewhat generic hunk!
>Sir, Channing Tatum is booked
>Well, do we have anyone else?
>Well, yes, but he's British
>We can he do an American accent?
>... not really, sir...
>Well, it doesn't matter, get him anyway.
>>64448722
>but we can't afford Danny Trejo
Impossible, this fucking guy is in so many shitty movies I'm sure if I called him right now and offered him $30 to have a cameo in our workplace video he'd accept.
>>64448430
>>64448285
And this... Is Nathan For You™
>>64449758
fuck I laughed
![2009Jul30_NY_JulieandJuliaPremiere_01[1].png](https://i.imgur.com/HMNCUct.png "2009Jul30_NY_JulieandJuliaPremiere_01[1].png")
>we need a south african
>he's already on the phone
>>64450799
too soon
>>64451240
>No no no, not that one.
>Got you covered.
>someone clogged all the toilets on the set and we can't afford to bring in a plumber
>i know just the guy for the job
>I want a classic
>He's coming right now
>>64451240
>Sir we don't have any money left in the budget
>Its okay, we will just pay him in sweeties.
>>64451438
kek
>Get me koko the gorilla.
>She's unavailable but I already got the replacement, sir
>I want a girl next door whose emotional spectrum goes between closed mouth and open mouth
>I got you family
I like this thread
>>64451438
>why are we hiring him
>he sucked my dick for the job
>We nee-
>We already have too many of those as it is, sir.
>>64451141
Dude, I think Trejo would fucking accept that. Didn't he do one commercial for CS:GO skins or something?
>>64450600
this this this
>>64451569
but that is koko
>>64443742
>>64443862
>>64444073
>>64444321
>>64444878
>>64445824
>>64447513
>>64448355
>>64448910
>>64449114
>>64449246
>>64450005
>>64450656
>>64451661
This samefag newfag 14 year old is spamming this shit thread. You should kill yourself ya fucking cunt
>Get Christoph Waltz and Arnold Schwarzenegger for these shitty mobile game commercials
>They're both signed on
>Wait really?
>>64451754
>it's a redditor gets angry and frustrated episode
>we need a wrestler to cameo in our movie and the rock now considers himself a legitimate actor
>I know just the guy
>>64451754
64451661(You)
Wat, I just said I like the thread, what's your fucking problem?
>>64451807
>Its a redditor who says anon is redditor so people don't discover he is a redditor season
>>64451807
>>64451834
>Still samefagging
>ok we need a mexican here, who do we ha-
>say no more
>>64451754
>look at me guys, I can quote many posts!
fuck off
>>64451907
I don't think so
>>64451820
I'm genuinely surprised the John Cena meme didn't get pushed harder on this board.
>>64452007
It stopped being funny after one day and instantly became normie trash.
>>64452007
4chan only pushes it's own memes hardcore, this isn't reddit
>>64443436
I can't even say these fucker's name. Last time I tried was at a bar and I said Benedict.
>>64452040
>It stopped being funny after one day
Exactly like baneposting and JUST.
>>64452007
Normie mii-mii you say
>>64452123
>I'm only acting retarded to troll guise
Just stop, really.
>>64452040
>>64452075
>normies
Who do you think is in 4chan in the current year?
>>64449366
7/10
>>64452130
Not really, at least those had more variation.
John Cena is literally just JOHN CENA and nothing more.
![IdrisElba[1].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/DE3lwzD.jpg "IdrisElba[1].jpg")
>we need a black guy to appeal to the american audience
>say no more
>>64449918
lmao
>>64449758
kek
>>64452130
Baneposting was never funny.
>we need an action hero for our next big movie
>he's here sir
>fuck not him again call the police he's here for the free donuts
>the police's here sir
>shit just call the CIA or something
>the secret agent is here sir
>goddammit I'll call a chinese mafia hitman
>he's here sir
>>64452302
Words only spoken by hotheads
>>64452197
There are no brakes on this train.
>>64443598
same thing paco
>>64452343
fuck pic related
>>64452373
ok, I laughed, well fucking played.
>>64452389
don't forget to call a cook.
always thought monica potter was discount julia roberts
>we've called everyone and not a single person wants the part
>sir who's that creeping out the window?
>I need Willem Dafoe from five years ago!
>Uh, sir, Michael Keaton got stuck in the time machine trying to erase Herbie: Fully Loaded from history.
>Fine. Get me that other one.
>I'm on it sir
>We want Robert Downey Jr., but we can't afford an apple box for him to stand on.
>Got you fa͏m.
>we n...
>he's been mooching off our buffet for the past 5 days and won't leave
>perfect
>>64452579
>who's that creeping out the window?
lost it
![Ron_Perlman_February_2015[1].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/VaxnuEX.jpg "Ron_Perlman_February_2015[1].jpg")
>We need sasquatch
>Way ahead of your sir
![84871[1].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/eFhWTOg.jpg "84871[1].jpg")
>get me javier bardem
>okay
>we need a spanish guy
>he's waiting outside sir
>>64452708
>>64452713
oh fug
>posting this thread over and over again is considered high quality /tv/ posting
>>64452708
>>64452713
Hivemind
>>64452776
I'm sorry it doesn't live up to those epic baneposting screenshots on r/4chan
>I'm shooting a porno in black and white and need a lead actress
>I called her 35 minutes ago
>>64452776
Well as far as /tv/'s standards go it's pretty great.
>>64448285
[MUFFLED UKULELE PLAYING IN THE DISTANCE]
>>64452579
>jeremy irons is busy
>we can't afford Christopher Walken, give $10 to that bum over there and bring him here
>>64444032
Truman KAPOW-te
>We need someone to play Benedict Cumberbatch as a kid
>.......?''wood is good''
>I understand your request, sir. You may consider it taken care of.
>>64452579
>we want malcolm mcdowell but he's just gotten too old for the part
>say no more
>We need to get this show canceled so we can launder some money
>It's already canceled, sir
>>64448534
is there a less threatening looking male on the planet?
>WE NEED A DEATH STAR
>Uh, sir, the Death Star blew up 30 years ago
>Well what else you got?
>I gotchu senpai
>>64452622
>not the country for old men guy
>>64453124
Louis CK
>>64448752
Amazing.
>>64453091
>we need a less attractive version of Olivia Wilde
>I got you, senpai
>I dropped my video camera and kind of forgot about it. Is there a director I can sell 6 hours of grass to?
>Say no more senpai
>so we're making a romcom. we need a douchey looki-
>say no more. lets just hope we beat sandler to the punch
Directors don't go "get me Brad Pitt"!
Actors aren't pictures of Spider-Man they get cast.
>>64453297
>so we're making a rom...
>here ya go senpai
>>64443436
Just watched Sicario. He was awesome in it.
>>64443622
He's kind of type-casted as that.
>>64453367
>Bring me pictures of Spider-Man!
>Uh... yeah. I-I'm on it.
>Get me Mark Wahlberg
>I got you senpai
>>64453297
>can the character be from texas?
>>64447244
kek I read it in her voice too
>>64449918
>>64443436
>Fear the Walking Dead has been a massive success. Unfortunately, the studio has slashed part of the budget and we need to spend less on the makeup process
>shit, we need someone who looks constantly in pain but I forgot the ball clamps
>CHECK THIS SHIT
>Sir, we need a gorilla for this next scene, but the animal tamer is having trouble with koko. We need a man to act the part
>say no more
>>64448752
>Legit quote
>>64443598
Lol this guy would have been awful as a replacement in brad pitt's role in fight club or many of his movies.
>"One of our camera guys is sick today and we can only pay the replacement in Subway gift cards!"
>"Sir I've got the perfect guy"
>"Alright, what's his - wait you're not the casting director! Get this guy outta here!"
>Get me De Niro
>sorry sir, he's busy
>Well get me Walken
>sorry sir, he's got standards
>Goddamnit who can we call?
>>64451101
>we need a lead for the scott weiland biopic
>say no more family
>>64443436
if benecio was balding this post would never have been made
>Ok guys we need absolutely anyone to take this role
>I think I saw Michael J. Fox outside!
>Well what are you waiting for?!
>We need the cheapest Oscar winner you can find!
>somebody in this thread posted a nearly exact copy of a reply i posted in a thread that had a nearly exact copy of the OP the other day
i've finally been memed and it's fucking weird
>>64454169
>sir, he vibrated away!
>reddit, the thread
>Alright look, I've got a movie to make about an elf dying of a terminal liver disease but I have no money whatsoever for make-up effects. Can you help me?
>Isn't that the question of the day
>People still think this guy is funny right?
![sk222[1].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/CcoK02C.jpg "sk222[1].jpg")
>I need a guy who's crazy and eccentric, somebody that will serve as comedic relief but still a big enough name to fill seats
>Oh, well Charlie Day would be perf-
>He also needs to be an offensive stereotype
>I know just the guy
>>64454404
That's not a pic of Adam Sandler
>>64454303
Lel
>>64454449
Adam Sandler only casts himself in his own movies
>>64448190
What happened?
>>64444160
holy dang i cried
>I need a goblin
![Jonah-Hill[1].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/gRyMx5a.jpg "Jonah-Hill[1].jpg")
>>64444160
>Get me Seth Rogen!
>Sir he's busy getting high
>Get me his fat equivalent!
>Speak not a word more my family
