A girl that tried to sell you cookies at your door before leaving falsely accuses you of rape and this guy is the prosecutor. They say the girl's dna was on the actual cookies in your home.
What do you do?
>>64414279
>tried to sell
This would never happen because I always buy a couple boxes of thin mints. They're like crack.
hire the best lawyer in the business
pic related
>>64414698
hey reddit
give up
can't ersatz the kratz
>>66414739
What are you, Vegan? A few thousand calories is a small price to pay for peace of mind.
>>64414279
>Your honor, it's obvious I'm innocent. If I had raped her, I'd have killed her and buried the body in my basement afterwards. I certainly would never have let her leave my house alive. Her very existence proves that she is lying.
Accuse my prosecutor of doing the crime, he has the history to back it up.
>>64414739
How is he Reddit? Please explain yourself, anon.
I waive my right to a lawyer and inform the judge that I will be representing myself. My grand legal strategy will revolve mostly around submitting to the jury as evidence my sad panda favorites which should prove beyond any reasonable doubt that my carnal tastes are far too advanced to be aroused by a mere girl. I finish with a turn and a flourish of my cape, announcing to the Jury:
"If she has no dick you must acquit."
>>64414725
Sheev?
>>64415948
Eric, simply eric
